The answer is really going to confuse all of you a little bit, because I truly believe the best city for singles is the city that you’re living in right now. It’s all about mindset and attitude when meeting somebody, not about where you live.

It’s all about going out and networking and meeting as many single people as you possibly can, until you find the person you’re most attracted to and the person with whom you most connect. Too many people are all about location. That’s just an excuse.

They say to themselves, “If I lived somewhere else, I’d have no problem meeting someone because I heard that Miami is such a better place to be single than where I live.” In reality, you take yourself wherever you go. So the best city to live in is the one where you live.

When I lived in Boulder, Colorado and I was single, the ratio of men to women was unbelievable. In the year and a half I was living there, though, I had three relationships and had no problem meeting women. Why? I went out and talked to everyone until I found the women to whom I was most attracted.

It’s all about attitude wherever you are. I don’t care if you’re in Washington, D.C. or Toronto, Canada. Everywhere you are is the best place to meet people.

It’s how you conduct your own personal search. What are you doing to conduct your personal search? What are you doing to meet people every single day?

Are you out connecting with people all day long, or are you just sitting back waiting and hoping that you meet somebody? Are you waiting and hoping that you get relocated for your job?

Life is all about mindset and attitude. I practice an abundant mindset so that no matter where I am, it’s the best city to meet people.

Despite this, you tend to listen to this person over and over again when it comes to meeting women. You know what happens every time you listen to this person. You always end up saying the wrong thing.

So here’s how to eliminate this dick in your life. Really, no one should have a dick as a friend, especially someone who has friends like these — a couple of nuts who should be on Prozac and an asshole who is always full of it.

You need to listen to today’s podcast really understand how to immediately eliminate this person from your life.

Click Here to listen now:

Click Here To Download The Podcast Now!

If you missed me in New York, you still have the chance to come out and meet me in Los Angeles this Saturday. I am having an amazing seminar, and you can still grab a ticket by CLICKING HERE. Hope to see you there!

Have a great Thursday!

He asked me about how I was when I was in my 20s. I told him my 20s were my adult adolescence. The more I thought about it, I realized the 20s decade of your life really is your adult adolescence.

Think about it. You get out of college at about 22 years of age, and you’re so geared up for life.

You really believe you know everything.  You’re grown up now.  After all, you have graduated from college. Your mom and dad congratulate you, and you think you’re ready for the big world.

You have dreams. You have aspirations. You think you know what you want for a career.

Then no matter who you were in college — whether you were great with women, a great athlete, or the smartest person in your class — you go into the real world you realize that you are at the bottom of the totem pole all over again. It’s like starting from scratch.

Your 20s is almost like starting high school all over again, except this time you are playing for keeps. In your career, you are playing for keeps. You start to think about work in a totally different way.

You start thinking about relationships differently. You will see members of the opposite sex differently, thinking “Wow, I could meet the person I may want to marry one day.”  

Your mindset is really different. You quickly figure out that you have a lot to learn in your 20s.

You get your ass kicked throughout your 20s. You really do.

You get your ass kicked in your career. You have to learn to deal with people who are a lot smarter than you — people who have been around the block, and people who know the game and know how to play it very well.

You learn a lot in your social life as well. You learn, as a guy in your young 20s, that a lot of 22 year old women want to date guys who are in their mid-20s. So you are the young guy once again. You don’t want to date college girls anymore, because they are too young for you.

So this time in your 20s is really a time to learn. It is a time to get introspective.

Your moods change too in your 20s. That is why you may tend to get a little more depressed at times and more introspective.

That is something I particularly remember about my 20s. I remember it being okay to just think and be introspective.

Don’t beat yourself up.  Don’t be hard on yourself. Understand that you’re going to be fine. You’re going to have an amazing, kick ass, unbelievable life.

Work hard, but relax when you need to do so. Go out there and meet people, and learn from the experiences. Date multiple women. Talk to lots of women. Figure out who you are through your interactions with other people and with yourself.

Your adult adolescence in your 20s is far greater than your teenage adolescence because you are not living with your parents anymore and you’ve got a little money in your pocket. I remember that period of having a little bit of money — even digging for change in my couch for money to go out on a Friday night — as some of my favorite times in my life.

Now that I have a great career, I live in a beautiful house and everything is fine, I look back at that time in my 20s very fondly. I remember how good that $2.00 beer tasted with those eight quarters I brought with me. I remember truly appreciating happy hours — and seeking out all the best food options (wings one happy hour and Mexican food the next).

Here is something I want everyone to do: Help the people who are in their 20s right now. I know when I look back on my 20s, that was an amazing and fun time of my life. It was carefree.

What I stressed out about in my 20s, as I look back upon it now, was ridiculous.
I was stressing about things that really didn’t mean much, but at the time I thought meant everything.

I was going out there getting better with women, and was actually learning my career. I mean, come on, when I was 23 years old I never imagined I would be some master communicator who teaches people how to connect with the opposite sex.

I wanted to be a personality. I wanted to be an actor when I was 23. I didn’t know how to do it. I didn’t know why I wanted to do it. That is just what I wanted at that point in my life.

So, really, enjoy your adult adolescence because that time is magical. I have videos of myself when I was in my 20s, and I remember how much fun I was having.

I am an adult now with a great life, a great career, and a 401K. There was nothing better, though, than that $450.00 a month apartment I lived in at 167 West 80th Street in New York City and that time of my life. Everything at that time is an incredible memory.

It’s the “wow factor” of everything going on in your 20s that often causes people in their 20s stress. Realize, though, that the “wow factor” will become the stuff of some great memories for you as you get older. So enjoy it!

A friend of mine is going through a problem like this with his business partner, someone who refuses to actually go to the business but enjoys grabbing her check at the end of the month. The problem is that having to have “that conversation” with a lazy business partner is the worst.

You try so many ways to motivate them. You try speaking their language. The person is great during your conversations and says everything you want to hear . . . as they lie straight to your face and nothing changes.

I had a situation like this back in New York with my first business partner. He and I had a bar called Bar X (28 E. 23rd St.).

After two months in the business together, he decided he wanted to open up another bar. He basically showed up on paycheck day pretending to look at the books and that was it.

I didn’t know what to do, except maybe hire Pussy from The Sopranos to strangle him. Even my Italian garbage man asked if there was anything he could do.

I had to have “the talk” with him, which is really the only thing you can do. “The talk” is the ‘I want you out’ ultimatum talk.

It’s the talk you never want to have with a business partner or a partner in life. You never want to have to sit down with someone with whom you’re not connecting and have to say “I’m not happy,” or “I want you end this,” or “I’m just not getting what I need.”

I don’t care if it’s a lazy business partner or a lazy partner in life. If you tell someone how you feel and what you need and they continually ignore you and take advantage of you, then there is only one thing to do.

The only thing to do is to use serious language and lay it on the line. We all have a threshold, and we can all only be pushed and shoved so far.

Sometimes we do it to people and we really don’t mean to do it. I know in relationships we can be hurting the other person because of things we haven’t worked on with ourselves.

We haven’t gotten to the root of the problem of what is really bothering us. They say that a lot of fights you have in a relationship are actually fights with your inner self and your inner frustration.

When I fight with my girl I’ve started doing this. I’ve learned to look to myself to see which parts of our fights are about me and which are about her, because according to Kristen who works with me I am dating the perfect human being.

The problem with life is that when one person is not as vested as the other, the one who isn’t as vested tends to use manipulation and lies to keep it going. No one wants someone to break up with them (in a business or a personal relationship). In business you want that paycheck, and you’re going to keep lying because you don’t want to lose that money.

Now I do believe that in life you should give someone several chances. I believe in the good of people. If someone does something over and over, however, besides shaking them all you can do is to take a hard line. My business partner back in 1991 pushed me so hard that all I could do was sit down and give it to him straight.

I said to him “I want you out of here. You don’t work hard. You’re fired, and this is what I’m willing to give you.” I kept track of all the times he was in the bar, and gave him exactly what he needed to pay back his uncle. You know, the best part of today’s technology is that you can keep every text and email and have a complete record of this kind of stuff.

Show up for life! If you don’t want to show up, then at least be honest about it.
I don’t care if it’s business or personal.

The worst thing you can do to someone is to lie to them just because you’re not man enough (or woman enough) to show up. Do you want to permanently lose someone’s respect?

Not only that, but if you believe in Karma then you know that everything that comes around goes around. If you do this to someone in business, in your next business you are going to pick a business partner exactly like you and you will have to deal with someone who acts exactly like you are now.

For any of you who are doing this — whether it’s in a business or personal partnership — I have a message for you. Instead of chasing your life going out drinking and pretending everything is fine, look in the mirror and call yourself out on your bullshit.

There is something here that’s called “June Gloom.” No, it’s not a bunch of desperate guys from the desert wanting to meet hot girs from the beach. It’s cloud cover caused by the hot desert air meeting the cold ocean air.

So I’m driving around with a client who flew in from New York whom I told to come here to work with me so he could enjoy the nice weather, and it’s raining. The great thing for him is that he feels like he’s home in New York . . . with the exception of not traveling on the subway.

So to make him feel totally at home, everytime we are at an intersection I make it feel like a subway stop. “Approaching Montana Avenue. Please beware of the bad drivers (substituting that for a warning to beware of the closing doors). Beep!”

Now for today’s blog…which is about being with groups of people, but in a very different way than being crowded in with them on a New York subway.

The ultimate trick for networking is what I call “the group mentality” (as opposed to “the one-up”). If you want to make the most of your time and stay in touch with all of your friends, you need to learn about the group mentality.

Many of us make the mistake of hanging out with a just a few people we already know well. Perhaps we go out on a Sunday and spend the day with a few close friends.

We invest eight hours with three or four people. This really isn’t good time management.

Instead, you should be getting six to eight people together for a two-hour brunch. In that situation you will basically become the master of ceremonies and, as such, people will look to you as the group leader. If they see you in this light, they will always invite you to the functions that they have.

This is great for the person who wants to network. You will start to notice that you are beginning to get invited to a lot of different events. Everybody wants that person who put the group together at their event, because they know that when the party gets slow or calms down that the group will always gravitate toward you.

If you’re someone who wants to meet a lot of people — whether it’s for business, personal or dating purposes — then you need to start using the group mentality. If you’re just continuing to go out with one or two other people, you won’t be able to network effectively.

The key to life is to tap into other people’s networks. The easiest way to do that is through group meetings.

It’s interesting, because a lot of men – and I’m talking about MEN, I’m not talking about boys. As little boys, we used to look at girls and we used to rate them on a number system.

I remember being like 11 years old, and we’d look at women – well, at that time, girls – and go, “man, she’s cute, what would you rate her?” “Oh, she’s like a 6.8,” or “she’s like a 7.5.”

The problem is that any man over the age of, really, 22 should no longer be rating women on a number scale. The number system is just really ridiculous. Why are you rating a woman on a number? Really, it’s arbitrary anyway, because my 10 could be your 3. Your 3 could be my 7, your 6 could be my 6.18, and your 2.87 could be my 3.14 – wait, isn’t that Pi?

Anyway, I really think it’s time that men stop rating women on the number scale, and started evaluating women on a whole new system.

I am going to explain this whole new system. This new system is so revolutionary, guys, that women are not going to look at you as man-boys anymore. Women hear you say that stuff. I’ve seen guys out in a bar, and they look at a woman and they…

Come on man, wake up! It’s unbelievable. We’re doing this blog as we drive, and if any of you have not driven in Los Angeles, the horn in LA is called the ‘wake the fuck up’ device. People love to just sit at that light. There’s not much to do at a light. You have two things to do: you stop and you stare at the light, and when it turns green, you go.

But in LA, it’s amazing how many times the light turns green, and they just sit there. Being a New Yorker, I’m going to use the horn, because I love that horn. And in Los Angeles, by the way, too, the directional blinker is optional equipment, because no one ever signals here. So you can save a thousand bucks off your car.

But let’s get back to that number system. So I was in a bar one night, and these guys were standing there and rating women, and women were hearing them. “Oh man, she’s a 6.” And that’s really classless. You’re 40 years old, and you’re rating women on a scale from one to ten? You sound like an immature child!

So how would you like a covert system where you actually can go and meet a woman, and afterwards you can say words that women will hear over and over again, but will have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about? Hell, you can rate these women right in front of their faces and they’ll have no idea what you are talking about!

It’s time to grow up, and it’s time to use the new system of rating people. I’m not talking about the Nielsen ratings, I’m not talking about the Arbitron ratings for radio; I’m talking about the new system here that Khiem is so proud of that he’s thinking of patenting it.

And he hasn’t even thought it up – it isn’t even his. But he’s going to share something with you guys that you need to learn. It’s called, for you technical guys, YMN.

Khiem: Thank you, David. You’re right, you shouldn’t rate women on a scale, because truthfully, at what number is a woman attractive to you? A 6? Above a 5? How about you simplify it to yes, no, and maybe.

Let’s be honest: would you want her? Yes or no. And if you’re not sure, then maybe. Maybe can be a lot of things. Maybe could be if she has a good personality, and you just might want to do her. But if she’s really bad, then she falls quickly into the no category.

Let’s be honest here. You’re a man, and you meet a woman. We’ll put you one-on-one in a room, and assuming that there are no distractions, how much do you desire her?

It’s so much simpler. And even when you wink at each other in the bar or wherever you are, she’s like, yeah – okay, I don’t even know what you mean, David, I can see it in your eyes!

David: It’s a yes or a no!

Khiem: It’s a yes or a no, there’s no ifs ands or buts about it. It’s just yes or no. Once in a while, you’ll get the occasional maybe, and that’s why you go up and talk to her. When you’re not sure, go find out! Go find out and be curious about her.

And then you can come home and say, “you know guys, I saw a yes girl,” or “no way, I saw a no girl.” And it’s so much easier.

It doesn’t matter what your guys tell you – it’s all up to you. Either you like her or you don’t.

David: Not only that, but think about this: you might run into a woman in the street, and you might see her walking to Whole Foods, and she might actually work in Whole Foods, or whatever, and she’s a maybe. You’re not quite sure about her yet. Guess what? You met a maybe! That means you can go back in there and meet her again. She might turn into a yes; she might turn into a no.

I’ve had maybes that have turned into yeses, and I’ve had maybes that have turned into nos. Hell, I’ve had some maybes that have turned into long-term relationships! I wasn’t quite sure about her the very first time I met her. I wasn’t quite sure about her personality, and who she was. And I learned more about her the second time around.

So expand your horizons! Become a yes-no-maybe man. Lay off the number system. Numbers are great – on a calendar. Numbers are great on a phone. Let’s look at my car right now – it is 68°. Does that mean that the women around us are all 6.8s?

So let’s lay off the number system, guys, and let’s go to yes, no, and maybe. It’s going to make you sound a hell of a lot more mature in life. Really, the fact of the matter is that these numbers are just validating you anyway. Every guy wants to be with that “perfect 10.”

Really, the perfect 10 comes from inside out. And the perfect 10 is very different for each guy. You don’t need to tell your friends that she’s a 10, you don’t need to high-five, your friends don’t need to validate you; you need to validate yourself!

Go after what you want with a vengeance. If it’s a yes, go after her and ask her out! If it’s a no, then be nice to her because she may lead you to a bunch of yeses.

But, once again, be open to everything.

Alright, that’s it. I’m sitting at a green light right now, and I’m the lead car. In Los Angeles, it’s really important to be the lead car. If you’re the lead car, you don’t have to use the ‘wake the fuck up’ device. If you’re the lead car, the only you have to do is make sure that the person next to you doesn’t weave into your lane – they tend to be lane weavers here too.

Do you have lane weavers in your town?

The last day of the bootcamp is always comprised of all of the clients going out together in the stores and working on everything they’ve learned over the weekend. It’s always a really great day.

I was with Justin, who is from Japan, and we were talking about the experience that a lot of guys have when they move to the United States. They may have been here a few years, and they know the language well, but they aren’t entirely confident in speaking it yet.

The frustrating thing is that when they talk to people, they can hear them and understand what they are saying, but the immediate response in their head is in their first language.

The response in their head could be something really clever or funny, but then when they go to spit it out in English, it just doesn’t work that well. It’s frustrating. It’s like, damn, that’s not what I meant to say!

So when they come to something like a bootcamp and learn how to talk to the opposite sex, these guys think to themselves, oh my god, I have to be so fast! How can I think that quickly?

The problem is that they can’t. And this frustrates them immensely! Deep down, they have so much to talk about, but they just aren’t able to spit it out in English because the way that it sounds in their head is not the way it comes out.

They just aren’t yet confident in their command of the English language. The words don’t come out the way that they want them to, and sometimes it sounds funny.

But here’s the thing: even I butcher the English language. You should hear some of the things that come out of my mouth. I can’t pronounce the word ‘drawer.’ To me, that should be pronounced ‘draw-ah.’ According to Rey, I also butcher the word ‘water,’ making it sound like ‘wadder.’

We all have some type of language barrier. Guys that come from another country evaluate themselves so much more and they are so incredibly self-critical. But you just have to get out there.

The more you talk, the better you’ll get at the language. Look at Rey. Rey couldn’t speak a word of English four years ago, and now he can carry on a conversation with just about anyone. Sure, there are times where he butchers the language, and there are times where he speaks a little bit too lowly – but you have to realize that it’s a long evolution.

So when you go out there, just do it! Just speak slowly and with a smile on your face. If you’re having a good time with it, people will be attracted to you.

There is a guy named Yu that butchers the English language so bad – he is Engrish beyond belief. But he’s always having a good time with it, and when the words don’t come out right, nobody even cares.

If you feel like everyone is evaluating your language skills, don’t feel that way. No one is looking at you and laughing. What they are thinking about is, oh what a nice guy. And the other person will actually slow down their speech automatically for you.

If your energy is there, it will keep the other person interested, and they will want to stay engaged in the conversation. So remember: it’s about your energy, it’s not about how you say it!

In my ten years of coaching men – and living in both Los Angeles and New York – I’ve met a lot of “generous” people. I put that in quotations because these are really people who just thought that they were being generous.

I’ve met a lot of men that have bought women things; they’ve taken them on trips and bought them homes. I always disagreed with what they did, because it was clear to me that they weren’t being generous with their heart – they were being generous with their money so they could get laid.

These guys were basically being generous only because they wanted something in return. They weren’t just giving a woman a new car, buying her dinner, or taking her on vacation with no expectations – purely out of the love that they have for themselves as a person.

They did it because they wanted that woman to want them – to desire them. They were buying love, and they weren’t being authentically generous with their hearts.

Generously giving a gift to somebody means that you expect nothing in return. By doing this, you are essentially communicating with the universe, and by expecting nothing, you’ll get back everything.

Every single time you give somebody money or a gift and you expect nothing back from them, it’s crazy how that money or energy you just gave will appear back in your life almost like magic.

It’s not really magic – it’s just the way that things work!

So when you give somebody something, are you really being generous? Or are you offering something with expectations attached?

Every time you give your lover a gift, are you doing it to get something from them? Or are you doing it only because you love them?

Are you a man that has given gifts to women in the past? Perhaps you’ve bought a woman a car, or paid her rent before. Were you doing it out of the generosity of your heart, or were you doing it because you expected something in return? Like sex, or an emotional connection?

In life, when you are truly generous, you will never expect anything back, and you will end up getting everything you ever wanted.

I want you all to ponder that for a little while.

I’ve seen complete and utter generosity from people, and there is a huge difference. That difference is what makes your life either spectacular or a life that is based on your needs.

Wouldn’t you rather live a life that is based on the power of giving and receiving?

I’m not here to tell you who I voted for yesterday because the last time I decided to talk about politics in the blog I got shit for two days afterwards. And all I was asking is who’d you prefer to date, Obama or McCain?

None of you seem to care about my political views – all you want me for is my advice! So I’m going to give it to you today.

So in this article, Barack Obama said something very interesting. He said that if you want to avoid disappointing others, don’t disappoint yourself.

I find that concept really interesting. You have to start answering to yourself. You have to start looking at yourself and thinking about whether or not you commit to yourself.

Do you commit to yourself? Are you committed to your goals? Are you a person of your word?

All you have in life is your word. If you can’t go ahead and take action, and you keep disappointing yourself, you’re going to do the same thing to other people.

So maybe you’re not ready for a relationship. If you are someone who disappoints yourself on a regular basis because you cant seem to stay committed to goals or appointments, then don’t start getting involved with anybody else.

Right now, you need to understand that you have to start embracing yourself and listening to yourself. You have to start redeeming yourself – to you.

And as for the election yesterday – whatever. This ain’t no political blog. This is a dating advice blog. If it was political, I’d tell you right now what I think and where I believe our country needs to go – but none of you seemed to care the last time, when I posed the important question to you: who would you rather date, Obama or McCain?

And as far as my mindset today…..I enjoyed every minute of lasts nights election. Where were you last night when history was made?

And whether you love him or not how do you feel this morning when you woke up to a whole new beginning?

We just witnessed history and no one man can change the mess of the last 8 years but we now have a new attitude and direction.

How do you feel today about this.

Let it out its good for you!!!