Guy: “Are you having a good day?”
You: “Yes.”
Guy: “What are you having for lunch?”
You: “A sandwich.”
Guy: “Do you like sandwiches?”
You: “Yes.”

This was probably about as painful to read as it would be for the poor guy trying to get this conversation going. The point I’m trying to illustrate with this hypothetical is this: You need to stop giving one word answers.

It’s funny, because I get complaints about this from guys all the time. I hear over and over again about how they will finally approach a woman who has been looking at them for the last two hours, then when they try to initiate a conversation with her she will keep just giving these one word answers.

You can’t create a conversation with someone who only responds with one word answers. It’s impossible, because you are providing no information from which someone can work off of to keep a conversation going.

If you answer a man’s question with a one word answer, then at a minimum also respond with a follow-up question. If I ask you if you are enjoying your day and you answer “yes,” then at least add on something like “How about you?” or “Are you enjoying your day?”

See how simple that is to do?

If a guy in a coffee house asks you if that is your favorite coffee house, instead of responding with just “no”as your answer, try following that up with something like “I like the one on 5th and Main a lot better because it has my favorite kind of coffee.”

By giving one word answers, you’re not giving any conversation back to a guy. You’re not giving any bits of information from which the guy can work to build a conversation with you.

Whether you give one word answers because you’re nervous around a guy or for some other reason, the fact is that if do that then he is going to walk away . . . and he will do so seeing you as the “one word answer” kind of girl. If you are a “one word answer” kind of girl, you need to start giving guys who approach you and try to start a conversation a little more information to help him communicate with you better.

I have found that a lot of women are “one word answer” women and will do this. Even if they are attracted to and interested in a guy, they will still give only the one word answers when he tries to initiate a conversation with her.

What is unbelievable is that after the guy will walk away from her, this same woman will go back to her friends perplexed about why the guy walked away and say “I don’t know what happened. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t talk.” The truth, of course, is that it was she who wouldn’t talk.

So the next time you catch yourself giving one word answers when you’re talking to a guy, try to add a question or a statement on to your answer. If you and I were talking, you could do it in this way:

David: “So are you the type of woman who gives one word answers?”
You: “Yes. I’d really like to stop doing that right now though.”

See that can lead to a conversation, because I’d then look at you and be able to get a real conversation going:

David: “Really? Why do you want to stop giving one word answers?”
You: “Because, David, I want to meet some great men and I’m sick of losing the opportunity to meet great men because I always only give one word answers.”
David: “Well, what type of men do you like?”

The conversation would keep building from there. You can see how by getting rid of the one word answers that a conversation was able to be developed.

So, now, it’s time for you to get rid of the use of one word answers in your conversations with men for good. Go out there and practice and pretty soon it’ll be easy for you to do it every day.

You’ve got to understand something about this guy. You think this guy is so cool, calm, collected and confident. The truth is that if he’s nervous around you, then he’s interested in you.

Just look at his personality. That’s something that I always tell women.

A lot of times when a woman is attracted to a guy and he acts like this, i.e., confident and friendly with his friends but nervous around her, she interprets this seemingly stark change in his behavior as an indication that “This guy isn’t interested in me.” She will interpret his nervousness as deliberate unfriendliness toward her.

In reality, this guy IS interested in you precisely because he is not acting like himself . Watch what this guy does and think about it for a second.

The minute he stops talking to you, he goes back to talking to his friends and he immediately becomes the confident guy again. Then you see him talking to a woman to whom he’s not attracted, and he becomes that confident guy again. When he’s talking to the waitress, he’s the confident guy.

The minute he starts talking to you, however, he seems to get really nervous. His hands go in his pockets. He might rock back and forth a little bit.

So what do you do in this situation? You’ve got to bring it out of him a little bit more.

For one thing, you can always ask him “Do I make you nervous?” You can confront him right away if you feel like taking the direct approach.

You can also just be really calming and ask him questions about things. When you’re in a conversation with him, maybe go a little deeper and start asking him more questions about what he’s saying. Get him to relax a little bit. You could laugh at one of his jokes.

The fact is that life is about energy, and whatever energy someone brings into a dynamic can affect the energy of the others. So when this guy is nervous, you become nervous and then the two of you will become nervous together.

So if you like this guy or you think you might like this guy, it may be up to you to bring a calming energy into your conversation to draw out his calmer side. Life is a two-way street ladies. It really is.

Once again, too many women sit back and wait for that guy to come over to them. They wait wait for that guy to be George Clooney or Brad Pitt. Sometimes the reality is that you’ve just got to pull it out of them. It’s just the way things are.

You need to embrace that you are in control of your dating life, and I’m here to help you.