No, it’s not the end of a football game. But isn’t that great when your team’s winning, you’re in the stands and you count down. “Ten, nine, eight…” What’s the point? They don’t hear you. The players could care less, and in their heads they’ve already counted down when the game was over anyway.

Sp here we are, December 31st, 2011, only a few hours to go until the most incredible moment of the year!
The strike of 12, when you’re standing in a room full of people that you have not talked to or connected with all night, and you desperately search around the room for the drunkest woman to kiss. That is the stupidest night of the year.

Most of you will be chasing the night tonight. You go out, trying to find the best party you can possibly find. When you get to that party, if it’s not good, you’ll say to yourself, “Man there’s no chicks here. We really need to go to the Holiday Inn bar down by Route 25, I heard there’s some cougars there that are looking to get lucky on New Year’s Eve.”
You’ll be searching all night long, when in reality tonight, all this night is, it’s just another Saturday night. It’s no different than last Saturday night, or the other 364 days this year. Who cares? You don’t need to go out with a bang.

In fact, you may not have had a bang the whole year. You don’t need to make amends, make up for bad parties, bad choices, bad dates, whatever it might be, by going out and trying to make this the greatest night of your entire year.

This is the most overrated night of the entire year, so instead, why not be proactive? Do something you actually enjoy where you know you’ll have a good time. Go see a movie, stay at home, have dinner with friends or family. Do something that’s more enjoyable. Invite some friends over and play board games. You’ll certainly be more stimulated, and really if you think about it you’ll be more bored, and definitely a whole lot more anxious, at a ridiculous, overrated New Year’s Eve soiree.

It’s time that you did something different this New Year’s Eve and stopped chasing the New Year. Allow the New Year to come to you. Allow the New Year to happen on its own, and allow the New Year to manifest the way it’s supposed to. You’re not going to make up for a year’s worth of bad nights by going out and maybe find someone to kiss at the stroke of midnight.
It doesn’t matter if you kiss some sloppy drunk person and have a funny story to tell going into the New Year. It’s not going to change your life or the way you are with women, just because you were able to make out with a sloppy drunk girl at the stroke of midnight, so stop being an amateur and act like a professional.

Professionals don’t count down at the end of the game. Professionals embrace the win and move forward and think about what to do the next day to become even better.

All the presents have been unwrapped.

By now the parents have driven you crazy. You look around the house and think to yourself, “Okay . . . now what can I return that I don’t like?”

Well it’s too late to return Mom and Dad. I don’t think there’s any store that will take them back, unless there’s a new store called People Depot, where you can return all the parents and friends you no longer want to have around.

Can you imagine that? The day after Christmas, going in and returning all the people in your life you really have no need for anymore? That would be a really interesting thing to do. Walking into People Depot with a cart stuffed with your mom, your dad, a friend you don’t want to be around anymore (who’s got still some wrapping paper in his hair because you unwrapped the gift halfway and realized you just didn’t want it).

And as you walk up to the register, they scan his foot and go, “Nope this person’s not from this People Depot store. He came from Peoplestore.com.” So now you have to rebox everybody back in the box that they came in.

We can’t return people to stores. That’s from some left over Kris Kringle fantasy for those of you who still believe in Santa Claus.

So what are you going to do today? It is the day after Christmas. Everybody’s out and about, shopping, returning gifts, playing, going to the movies . . .you already know exactly what my advice is.
Get out of the house! Head to all the stores and ask people one simple question. One really easy simple question: “So tell me — was Santa nice to you this year? Did you get everything you wanted? And why on Earth would you think about returning a waffle iron? Waffle irons are so cool.”

So go out, be inquisitive, start conversations, and just have fun with people. First things first: Get out of the house. Have a good time.
It’s the day after Christmas. It’s only five days before the most overrated night of the year — New Year’s Eve! Oh boy. I just love New Year’s Eve.
Five . . .four . . . three . . . two . . . one!! Everybody!

The greatest night of the year, New Year’s Eve. Are you going to have the night that you imagined you’ll have? We’ll talk a little bit about the hype and the reality of New Year’s Eve later in the week.

But for today, get out of the house, go return your parents to People Depot, and go strike up some conversations and see what happens.

They check and see whether or not they made the sales they needed to. They check and see what they need to order in the new year. The bookkeepers are frantically crunching numbers so they can get taxes done.

It’s inventory time. The world is taking inventory right now and figuring out what they need for next year. Businesses are figuring out what their cash flow is. Hotels are frantically trying to sell hotel rooms. Households are trying to make just a little more money to close out the year and make sure it was a great year.
And women are looking around and basically thinking, “Have I spent more time fantasizing about men than actually dating them?”

The other day a friend of mine e-mailed me and wrote, “It’s amazing. Two women I dated this year called me yesterday, one after the other. We broke up like six months ago,” he wrote. “What’s the reason for that?”

And I wrote back to him, “Easy. It’s inventory time. They basically had gone to Thanksgiving dinner and their family asked them why they’re not dating anybody. Their friends are telling them about all their holiday plans with their family, their boyfriends, their husbands, and their kids. And they realize that they’re alone. Women feel more alone this time of year than any other time of year. Women tend to just feel vulnerable, and they are looking for companionship. And that’s where you come in.”

Knowing this information, knowing how vulnerable women are this time of year, knowing that they have done inventory, sexual and emotional inventory, they’re more open to a man’s advances. It’s real simple, and I’ve written about it in other blogs. Walk right up to them while they’re Christmas shopping and ask them, “What is Santa getting you this year? Are you buying that for yourself?”

Be playful. Be fun. Go out and use that approach. Wear at hat, maybe a Santa’s cap. Look at her and go, “Listen, I’m Santa’s little helper and I want to know if you’ve been naughty or nice this year.”

A lot of you right now are thinking to yourself, I can’t do that. Well then don’t. Don’t do it. Keep doing the things that you’re doing so you don’t meet women. Keep doing the same approaches that don’t work. And don’t trust somebody who knows what emotions are all about.

Women are emotional creatures, and they’re emotionally vulnerable this time of year. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re going to connect with them. You can continue to be Santa’s shy little helper standing in the corner. Or you can be the aggressive elf who would love to get some nice, wet, and juicy fun before Christmas.

How do you think this Christmas party is any different compared to other parties?

They’re the exact same thing. You’ve got to go out, you’ve got to enjoy yourself, you’ve got to be social, you’ve got to meet people, you’ve got to talk to everybody, you’ve got to smile.
You’ve got to walk over to women right from the get-go and basically base your conversation on an observation you’ve made. It’s not any different. Christmas parties are exactly the same as other parties.

Somebody e-mailed me the other day and asked me, “How do you hook up at a Christmas party?” It’s no different guys, it really isn’t. It’s about using the same techniques that I’ve been teaching here ever since I started this blog.
You have to stop thinking that things are so different in different situations. It’s not different. It’s always your mind set that needs to change. You need to go to every single party the exact same way. You need to walk into that party, you need to talk to people, you need to relate to people and have fun, you need to show women you’re the kind of guy who knows how to have a good time.

Talk to men. Talk to women. And when you see someone you’re attracted to, walk over to them directly from the get-go based on an observation you’ve made, and just start talking. It’s not any different.

Sure, during Christmas time maybe you could wear a Santa cap. You could carry around a mistletoe. You could be cute like that, you could do all those things, or you could walk around with a stocking full of little gimmick gifts to give out at the party. But the bottom line is, it’s all about communication. And if you’re not great at it, you’d better learn, by clicking right here.

A while ago I came up with this really fun exercise. I told my client to use the alien approach. For those of you that have no idea what the alien approach is, it’s very simple. You take a full day and pretend like you were just beamed onto the earth for 24 hours.

How would you act?

First off, okay, you’d be in a weird body because you’re used to having lizard guts, eyes that can light a fire, and long, bony, metallic hands. Now you’re in a human body for the very first time and you find that very peculiar.

So what would you do for that one day? Well, first, you’d go around and you’d look at people. You’d survey things, you’d observe all day, you’d wonder what people are feeling, what they were doing. You’d be curious about everything that these people were doing–hell, if somebody ordered a turkey sandwich, you’d be so curious because you’ve never had turkey before. So you could ask if that turkey stuff is any good.

On top of all that, you’d have enthusiasm for everything around you because basically you are brand new to this planet, never having been here before, never experiencing it before. Never even knowing what anything is. You’d be curious about the world around you.
Not only that, you’d want to talk to as many people as possible because you’d want to find out what the human race is all about. And you’d be reporting back to the king or queen alien so you’d be required to give them a full report.

You’d spend the entire day being hyper-sensitive to the world around you. You wouldn’t worry about your alien phone, or your “a-phone”. You wouldn’t worry about reading and sending out texts, e-mails, checking your Facebook, nothing like that.

All you’d worry about is trying to figure out the human race – meeting people, talking to people, being curious about people and things.

Here’s a deal for all of you who have trouble meeting people: go out there and use the alien exercise. Pretend you were beamed down to earth from another planet for the day. Pretend like you’ve never been on Earth before. And do everything that I wrote about above. Have enthusiasm, ask questions, respond to people. You’re an alien, so you want to gather as much information as you possibly can before you’re beamed back to your stratosphere.

Alright, I’m guessing most of you are saying no.

But really, what if Santa Claus was real? I mean, what if Santa Claus was actually real?

What if you could go to the mall, sit on Santa’s lap — I’m sure there are some dirty old man Santas whose lap you would not want to sit on—but what if you could sit on Santa’s lap and actually ask for something to be delivered under your tree come Christmas?

Think about that for a minute. What would you ask for if you could get one amazing gift this Christmas? Would you ask for a better job? Would you ask for the world economy to be rescued? Would you ask for world peace, to end hunger and starvation in the world?

Are you a person who really wants to save the world or do you really just want to save yourself? Be honest.

Would you ask Santa for a hot girlfriend or a boyfriend? “Hey Santa, can you deliver something special under my tree? Somebody hot, somebody sexy, somebody who desires me and wants to hang with me every day?”

What would you ask for if Santa Claus was real, if you can actually go to the mall and actually wish for something on Santa’s lap?

So today let’s get into the Christmas spirit a little bit and let’s make out our Christmas wish list. I don’t care if you’ve been naughty or nice. It’s not really a big deal since it’s just pretend anyway, and it’s fun to have a little conversation in a way that gets us all back to being six years old again and getting excited about what’s going to be waiting for us under the tree at Christmas time.

So what would be under your tree this year? And go ahead, be comprehensive in your lists. Make a list that’s 10 wishes long if you want. I’m looking forward to reading about all your wishes! Who knows, maybe Santa is real and maybe some of it might come true this holiday season ☺

So today check out this fun video I shot on how to overcome one word answers when you first meet a woman or a man.

And keep in mind when watching this video, all the people who were involved in the making of the video were a bit stiff at times.

Check out how I loosen them up.

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How To Overcome One Word Answers

This week has been really hectic, I’ve been on a lot of coaching calls with clients, and few calls with some of you blog readers from all over the world as well. Just a lot of guys I’ve talked to this week.

There’s one common thread that runs through almost everybody. And that fear is what’s commonly called APPROACH ANXIETY. The moment you see somebody who you’re attracted to, you make a determination that you’ll go talk to them. But then the fear kicks in. Well, now you’re stuck in a situation where you CAN go up and talk to them, you’ve got no excuse not to, but you’re afraid of what might happen. Actually, you have no idea what might happen, and that’s what makes it so scary.

It’s like you get this crazy sensation in your stomach, your mind starts racing thinking all sorts of ridiculous thoughts, thinking of any excuse in the book why you should not go up and start talking to this person or just say “Hi, how are you today?”

So how about this for an invention: Anti-Rejection Specs.

Just like those cardboard X-ray Specs you used to get in the old comic books, you could put on these magic Approach Sunglasses when you enter the bar, or browse the supermarket, or you’re at the gym, and just like an X-ray, the Anti-Rejection glasses would tell you exactly who is going to be interested in you and who isn’t. Wouldn’t that be great? You would know exactly who to approach. You would never ever get rejected again. Wouldn’t that solve all your problems putting yourself out there trying to make a connection and meeting women?

But the fact is glasses like that don’t exist. In fact, it’s actually quite a scary thought if they did. Men everywhere would be running rampant like the lock to the chimpanzee cage just got cracked.

So many guys have this fear of the unknown, fear of getting rejected, fear of putting themselves out there and getting shot down. So many guys think their entire manhood is on the line if they get blown out and the woman he wants to talk to decides she doesn’t want to talk to him. “What if I approach her and she doesn’t like me? What if I get rejected? She’s really cute and I don’t want to look like a fool.”

But guess what? You’ll never know unless you try. There’s no such thing as Anti-Rejection Sunglasses, and yes, every woman will not be interested in you all of the time. That’s life. But there are plenty of great single women out there who WILL be interested in you. It’s up to you to put yourself out there and find them.

You’ll never find out if she’s interested in you unless you drop the games, stop trying to act cool and standoffish, and just be open and receptive and introduce yourself without putting on a front.

I understand the games. The games are there for a reason. You tiptoe around, you pretend not to be interested in her, so that way if you find out that she’s not interested in you—well, you never had to put yourself out there now you don’t look foolish.

But that’s not going to get you the girl you want. To really grow, to radiate confidence, to be with the kind of woman you really desire, the fact is you have to make yourself vulnerable. You have to drop the games and the gimmicks. You have to go out and approach women even if you don’t know what the outcome is going to be. And yes, you have to experience rejection.

You’ll never know unless you try, and that’s the hardest part. But it’s also the best part. Because when you do approach, and you are successful, and you do get the digits, or the date, or the lay, or the girlfriend, or whatever, you’ll know that you had the guts to approach her just the way you are, without any silly games—and without any Anti-Rejection Specs telling you every time it was safe to approach.

In reality, there are only a few things in life on which you are an expert, but one of those things is your errands. You’re an expert at your errands — and about the places you go time and time again as part of your errands.

How many times have you been to that same supermarket? You’ve been there and seen those women you’re attracted to a thousand times.

How many times have you run into Starbucks to get your morning coffee and seen that woman you’re attracted to also getting hers. How many times have you ordered coffee there? You’re an expert there.

How many times do you go to the dry cleaner, the library or a bookstore? If you think about it, you can see all the places in which you are already an expert where you can be meeting people.

You know the history of those places. You may have been shopping at Ralph’s for ten years, and you know that the donuts that are the shelves on Tuesdays are different than the donuts they put on the shelf on Thursdays.

How To Meet Men At The Supermarket

So why aren’t you meeting people in these places? The problem is that you get into these places and you go right into your head . . . and inside your head is a bad neighborhood.

The worst block in that neighborhood is at the intersection of Fear Avenue and Insecure Boulevard. It’s a horrible place.

It’s not only bad, but the traffic lights never work. Everybody is stuck right in the middle of it. No one knows which car should go first, which person should walk, and which person should turn right or left.

So if you are stuck at that intersection of Fear Avenue and Insecure Boulevard, what do you do about it? You become the leader.

You realize that you are an expert in that intersection. You’ve already been through that intersection a million times. So you need to bring yourself back to the moment, and really grind into your head where you are.

So if you are at Ralph’s and you see a woman standing there staring at the donut boxes, just take a second to look around, observe and realize you’ve eaten donuts your entire life. You’ve dreamed of donuts even before you could eat donuts. (I hope you’ve figured out that donuts is just the analogy here.)

You’re in a place where you are truly an expert. So really allow your brain to process all the signals that are going on around you, and then speak with authority.

I don’t care if you walk up and just say something like, “I like the white powdered sugar ones better, but really what are you in the mood for?” Whatever you say, just say it with authority. Speak with clarity and passion in your voice.

You’re an expert at the places you go to run your errands, but you refuse to use your brain and state the obvious with confidence. You are an expert in all these places, and yet you spend the whole time in them inside your head wondering what to do and say that is clever.

The truth is that nobody is smarter than you are in the places you go to run your errands. So take advantage of that!

It is just really shitty mind set as far as I am concerned. Being single is great. It is amazing. No one to answer to, all the food in the fridge is yours, you don’t have to leave the toilet seat up, you never have to change anything about yourself that you don’t want to. You can always pick the type of food that you want to eat that night, you can go on the type of vacations that you want.

Most importantly, you never have to change the car seat because someone else drove your car. And you don’t have to bitch and complain because they left stuff in the sink.

Being Single

Being single is wonderful.

It means it gives you the opportunity to do whatever you want, maybe do whoever you want, date whoever you want, experience whoever you want and it also gives you the opportunity to go out there and meet great people and get it right. Being single means that you have the opportunity to go out there and meet people and figure out what you want out of a relationship. It gives you the opportunity not to screw up and get involved in a bad relationship, because you know you are on a path right now to figure out who you are.

Being single is phenomenal.

So the next time you hear somebody bitch and complain about being single, give them this blog and tell it is some of the best times of your life. It is all mind set folks. It is all attitude.