During these tough economic times, one of the things you need to know how to do is something I call “recession-proof dating.” I really get sick and tired of people using the recession and the bad economy as an excuse why everything in their life not only isn’t working but CAN’T work. That’s completely untrue!
Life goes on regardless of the state of the economy, and you can have an amazing dating life no matter what the state of the world’s (or your own personal) economy is like. In fact, there are many things you can do during these tough economic times to enjoy an amazing life while still making sure that your dating life doesn’t lead you to become a victim of the current economic downturn. (more…)
I’m sure all of you have already read some of the posts we’ve done on body language and how to command a room when you first walk in. One thing that always comes to mind – and I get a lot of emails from guys about this – is eye contact.
Can you have too much eye contact? When is the right time to look at her? Is there too little eye contact? What if I’m nervous? Where exactly do I look?
Well, here’s exactly what I say about eye contact. Eye contact is very important. Whenever I talk to a woman, I look directly into her eyes. I don’t care if I’ve met her for the very first time or if I’m having sex with her, I will look at her directly in her eyes.
Women don’t trust people who look all over the room. Nervous eye contact is a guy that looks you in the eyes and then bounces around and looks all over the place. When your eyes are bouncing all over the place, what you are telling a woman – or at least what she thinks in her mind – is that you are looking at someone else, or checking somebody else out.
The reason that women like direct eye contact so much is that they feel like you are completely engrossed. When someone looks at you directly in your eyes, they feel like they are getting all of your attention. There’s a key element to this whole thing as well – when you’re looking at someone directly in their eyes, you’d better not look at them like a stone statue.
You’d should be looking at them very animatedly – if they’re telling a story, don’t just stare directly at them without a smile on your face. React to the words that they say. If they say something funny, smile! If they say something sad, show sadness in your face.
You can’t just stare directly at them, because that type of direct eye contact is going to make them nervous. You need to make sure that your facial expressions also match your eye contact.
Another thing that makes women nervous is when you are talking to them, you look at them in the eyes, and then you keep looking down. Looking down shows women that you’re an insecure man. Women will not feel secure around you, and they will actually start wondering whether or not they want to continue talking to you. They wonder why you keep looking at your shoes. They wonder if you’re reading the Nike label on your sneaker or whatever it might be – but it shows the signs of a weak man.
Don’t forget – 80% of what you do and how you communicate with women is nonverbal. You never have another opportunity to make a good first impression. By looking down, you are showing a sign of weakness.
Women are looking for strong men, so the eye contact you give has to be backed by animation on your face as well. So if you don’t know how to animate your face, or how to react to something, what you need to do is hang out with a friend of yours and have them tell you a story. Look directly in the mirror (instead of looking directly at your friend) and every time they talk, check out your smile. Check out how you look. Check out the way you nod your head. Check out the way you use hand gestures.
Would you trust yourself? Would you be attracted to yourself? You’ve got to work on it. A lot of men (and women too) have trouble smiling. You’ve got to smile, and you have to be comfortable in your smile. You have to be comfortable in the way you frown, and in the way you animate.
Look at trained actors. This is another great thing – if you take a look at actors, there is something in the industry called ‘eye actors.’ If you look at the way an actor reacts to certain things, there are actors that will move their eyes all around and scrunch their foreheads a bit and get animated.
That’s why a lot of actors are shooting themselves up with Botox. They are really using their eyes all the time – they are penetrating with their eyes. It’s a known thing living in Los Angeles that there are lots of eye actors out there. There are some really good eye actors – take a look at Patrick Dempsey on Grey’s Anatomy. Look at the way he looks at a woman – look at the way he smiles, the way his face lights up. Look at his eye contact.
Or George Clooney – he does it the same type of way. Tom Cruise is a wonderful eye actor – same thing, he looks directly at you. His facial expressions always match the emotions being shown in his eyes. Don’t be afraid to show emotion when someone tells you an animated story. These are some great ways to practice.
We notice it more and more – eye contact has to be strong, powerful, and has to really show your intent. Not only are you showing that you are really listening to her, but you are also showing that you are not afraid of her. That’s one of the key things that turn a woman on – they can sense that you have a powerful, masculine energy coming off of you.
How do you turn that energy into a more seductive look though? Let’s talk about that another time. It’s important to practice this eye contact in order to master it, before we get to advance the seductive eye contact. So we’ll talk about seductive eye contact another day.
Todays video is all about how to become interesting. Have you ever spoke to a woman and ran out of things to say.
The Law Of Attraction Works Both Ways!
By David Wygant
I received the following comment from someone the other day that I simply had to share with all of you as it illustrates something I teach perfectly. Let’s read what he wrote first, then I’ll explain further.
Have you ever been to a place over and over again, yet you still feel like you’re going there for the very first time?
It’s because you don’t own the place. You have to own the place. You have to own the territories that you go in.
For instance, we’re walking right now down some street onto Main Street for the Farmer’s Market. Hollister – Hollister and 2nd, for all of you people in Santa Monica. And what we do on Sundays is go to this Farmer’s Market.
This market is great – it has pancakes, eggs, muffins, and tons of people walking around.
But plain and simple: when we come here, we are so comfortable with everything around here. We’ve walked Main Street every Sunday just having a good time, and we own it.
So when we walk, we talk to everybody that we see – every single person that we see, and it’s very easy for us because we’re aware of everything. We’ve been here; we know the food, we own every place that we go to.
You’ve got to start owning the places that you go to. If you go to a place on a regular basis, you have to own it. You have to get to know everybody there, and talk to everybody there – because if you’re going there on a regular basis, other people are too, and you can meet a new network of friends and contacts.
So we were talking about freezing in the moment – when you feel like your feet get stuck in concrete, and your mind is fluttering all over the place.
But step one is believing that you can do this. Step one is watching it, learning it. That’s why I tell guys all the time: if you can concentrate, and you can learn this stuff, and you can practice – the more practice you get, the less apprehension you will have.
It’s all about practice. A newbie called me up on the phone and said, “I want to learn how to do this in an hour.” I said to him, “fine. I can give you the foundation, but you have to learn it, live it, and keep building upon it.”
Nobody can change somebody in an hour. I can change something about you in an hour. I can take a newbie, and make them a newbie in stage one. I can take somebody who is average to sometimes really good and I can make them REALLY good. I can take somebody who is really good, and make them excellent. I’ll always take you up a level from where you are. Sometimes I’ll take you up two levels, but the key is to really be able to do it on your own.
Practice as much as you can, all the time. Step two, when you freeze up – you can do a couple of different things. One – I like the visualization of picturing her naked. I really do. That will create a very playful smile on your face. I tell women to picture men as a big life like version of Scooby Doo.
That way they can realize how goofy men are and smile at us with a playful smile.
Because then I’d walk over, and I’d be cracking myself up. If that doesn’t work for you, write something really funny in your Blackberry, or on your cell phone – make it a screen that you can get to. Read it really quickly, and make sure it makes you smile.
Maybe it’s a picture of something – maybe you need a visual picture of a hot naked woman that makes you smile. Maybe it’s a picture of you with an ex-girlfriend that’s really hot, and you look really good with her – you put that picture up. Whatever makes you feel good.
If you create a warm emotion, you’re going to be able to create an emotion when you talk to her. You’ll be able to talk to her without that apprehension. Watch: right now I’m going to look at my Blackberry, and here’s something from a woman that I’m hanging out with – see the smile? I got this smile, because I’m thinking of something pleasurable.
So then I walk over with an observation – and I’m just thinking pleasurable thoughts. I say, “hey, I like your hat.” And you just do it like that. You just said something very visually nice, and you said something that was mellow, and you got a visual impact.
When you speak you speak with power and conviction in your voice. You own your words and speak with no fear.
Get an audio recorder and work on your delivery.
So that gets rid of that apprehension. But you have to keep practicing that all the time. You have to practice that look, and that whole thing. And you have to keep approaching. But if you approach five or six women a day, that apprehension is just naturally going to go away. You’re not going to care anymore what she thinks.
Client 1: I know what you mean. You mentioned a lot of stuff. When you gave me that hat to try on, and told me to ask her how it looked on me, it was one of those moments – whoa. And you can’t do anything. You can’t remember anything.
But I did it. And I’m excited to get over this, to practice this. So I did it, and I feel like the next time I am going to have a little bit more control over what I do, and be able to have a little bit more fun with it. And it’s going to be easier – at least in that situation. I’ve done it, and I know that I can do it again.
David: Because you saw that it works! It worked for you. She went over and she didn’t take your head off. She didn’t bite, she didn’t kick you in the nuts, and she didn’t tell you to fuck off. She was actually nice.
Client 1: It’s not that I expected any of these things – it’s more subconscious.
David: But you’re subconsciously thinking it.
Client 1: I suppose, yes.
David: Yeah, you’re not thinking it, or saying it to yourself. You’re not thinking, oh my god, she’s going to take my head off. But it’s subconscious programming.
Client 1: Yeah, or I’m more afraid because I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen or how she is going to react.
Client 2: Yeah, for me it’s more that I have no idea what is going to happen.
Client 1: I think that’s important because we could write a whole separate blog about the topic of assumptions and expectations.
Client 2: Do you remember the thing we talked about this morning?
David: Yes, assuming things. Alright, let’s start with that.
Man, that’s a tease, right? And do you know what’s great? If I’m teasing you right now, and you want more… think about it, if you’re reading this and thinking, fuck, man, what an ass – he’s not giving us more! He’s not telling us about assumptions right now. How does that make you feel?
You love it. You loved to be teased.
Do you know why you loved to be teased? Because you’re a human being. Human beings like their minds to be intrigued and teased, that’s what it’s all about.
So think about it – think about how annoying this is going to be. I might post the next blog, what – two weeks later? Maybe a week later? It depends, it will be whenever I feel like it. I’m going to pull it out of the archives, I’m going to listen to it, and I’ll think, damn, this is good, I want these guys to hear this.
What a tease. But you know what? That’s what you do with women, too. You tease them. Foreplay starts in a woman’s mind, so you want to tease the hell out of her.
So we just had some good mental foreplay!
If you want to live this life every day without fear you need to check out my mens and womens mastery series. Click here for the mens. And click here for the womens.
Todays video is all about how to meet women right now….tonight!
I recently sat down with one of my clients. Here is the actual transcript. Enjoy and have a great Friday!!
Markus: One thing we were talking about yesterday is the scarcity mentality: thinking all the time that you’re missing something. You walk in the city and see a square full of people, and many times you think, oh, I have to be there too. Because everyone is doing it, and if I’m not there, I will definitely miss something.
But on the other hand, maybe it’s just better to go home then, because you had a good evening anyway. You can go to bed early, and get up on Sunday and have another great day.
But this scarcity thing plays into many different parts of life. For example, you have a girlfriend, and you constantly try to call her and please her, and you run after her, because you think that if you don’t do it, she will be offended. You will miss something, she will miss something, and you will not have the opportunity to be with her again.
Or the opportunity to find another person – it’s always this thinking that I will miss something. If I don’t do that now, I will never have the opportunity to do that again. So the question is, how do we overcome that? (more…)
Yesterday we talked about a few quotes. Some of you embraced them, some of you fought them. Life is all about embracing new concepts and thinking outside the box.
Today lets talk about being Rich….lets make a lot of money….or maybe there is a whole new way of being rich besides trading oil. (more…)
In order to become more observant, your mindset needs to be this: everything you see you need to look at with a child-like curiosity. Look at everything like you’ve never seen it before.
The way you need to live life is to walk through a neighborhood every single day like you’ve never been there before. Every day you walk through that neighborhood, notice new things. Notice new buildings. Notice the color of the sky. Notice the new trees in springtime. Notice the new buds coming up. Notice everything you can possibly notice. (more…)
