Dating is all about creating time in your life to connect with other people. If you’re out there on the market and your next available date time is two weeks away, take yourself off the market until you’re able to balance your time.

Here is the reason why: If you meet someone spectacular and you’re in the middle of your “busy being busy” phase, you won’t have time to nurture that connection. What happens then is that this great person will lose interest, and they will be out of your life before they even had the chance to be in your life.

Now I know some people are thinking: “What if I tell them I’m super busy for the next two weeks and can’t hang out?” That’s acceptable. But if you are super busy for the next two weeks, you need to make the effort to reconnect with that person when the two weeks is over. Be a person of your word.

No Time To Date My Dog Needs Me

If you’re a woman and you’re super, super, super busy, don’t tell a guy “Let’s get together in two weeks,” tell him that you’ll call him in two weeks to set something up. By making that call, you’ll be a person of your word…and actions do speak louder than words.

The rule here is: If you’re the one whose is busy, YOU have to make the reconnecting phone call when you’re less busy.

If you’re on an online dating site and you’re super busy for two weeks, hide your profile for two weeks.

If you don’t have time to date, don’t! I’m all about taking time outs when needed. But by being busy and still trying to meet people when you don’t actually have the time to meet them, you may just miss out on that amazing person!

I’m down to earth. What exactly does that mean?

Does that mean that they walk around with dirt on them 24/7? Does that mean that they like to roll around on the ground so that they can be really close to the Earth? Does that mean that they like to cover themselves with sand when they go to the beach so that they can feel the Earth?

Down to earth. I love that term. It seems to be the most abused term on Internet dating sites. Everybody puts it in their profile, especially women.

Do you know what I think when someone says in her profile that she’s “down to earth?” I think, “Glad that you’re down to earth. That sounds like a lot of fun. So when a picks you up, should he bring a shovel and a pail and a hoe, and be ready to do some gardening?”

Is that term supposed to mean that you’re real? I think sometimes we use generic terms to describe ourselves and it leaves things “iffy.” I mean, if every other person online describes themselves as “down to earth,” does that mean that 50% of these people are exactly the same? I think we need clarification for this term — down to earth.

A related term I also saw way too much on women’s profiles was the description, “I am real.” Really? I’m so glad you told me, because I thought you were a zombie or a robot.

I don’t get it when people write, “I’m a real person.” Everyone is a real person. Is that really the way you describe yourself, as a ‘real person?’ Well, great. Now I feel like I REALLY know you.

Another thing people say is, “I’m easy going.” Really? About everything or just about certain things, because no one is easy going about everything. There is always a trigger point on something for everyone.

When it comes to online online, I think people need to stop using all these cliches to describe themselves. It doesn’t tell people anything about you. Plus, when you look at fifty profiles and you describe yourself the exact same way 25 other people do, how are you ever going to stand out?

Yes I know you all think Tom Brady is cute but lets dive into something deeper today.

And guys chime in you will really like the advice I am giving the women.

I have a confession as a man I need to make to all the women: We men are clueless about anything subliminal that you do. We really are. You need to be obvious to get our attention.

For any of you who have lived with a man (whether it was a boyfriend, a husband or a brother), this will probably sound familiar. As you leave the house one day, you ask a man to clean up or straighten up a bit while you’re gone. So what does he do? He goes to the sink, puts a few things in the dishwasher . . . and that’s it. Meanwhile there are still dog hair tumbleweeds traveling across the living room floor and laundry piles up to the ceiling. When questioned about those, he inevitably says “I didn’t notice those.”

Men don’t notice small details. They have no idea about the little clues. Men need the obvious. Women need to really understand this, especially when it comes to communicating their interest in men.

Women need to realize that it is not only okay, but necessary, that they show men they are interested. So many women I’ve coached will tell me they flirt with men all the time but never get any response. When I ask them what they did that they were calling “flirting,” virtually every one will tell me they “glanced over at him a couple times” or they “smiled at him a couple times quickly” or something similar.

These two second glances and quick smiles simply do not constitute flirting in the eyes of a man. They are simply not obvious enough.

When many women go to flirt with a man, they do something they believe to be flirting but which is in reality is something too subtle for that man to notice it. So despite that woman’s interest, the man will leave that situation thinking she didn’t like him.

When I say that you need to show interest that is obvious, I am not talking about you grabbing a man and sticking your tongue down his throat as you grind up against him. What I mean by showing interest are things like smiling a bit more or touching his arm a little bit when you talk to him. I mean that you need to use your body language to express your interest. Lean in a little when you talk to him, Flirt with him. Laugh at his jokes. Engage him in some deeper conversation.

If you’re interested in a man you meet, don’t wait for him to ask you out. Say something to him like “I really enjoyed this great conversation. Hopefully we’ll run into each other again some day.” Let him know you’re interested.

Not only is it okay to show a man you’re interested, but you should show men you’re interested because you want to be in control of your dating life. If you think about it there are really only two choices: you can either start to show your interest or you can continue to do nothing (or to use subtle gestures which convey the same message as nothing to men).

Every time I address this issue, I get tons of emails from women saying some version of this: “David, I can’t do these things. If I do, men are going to think I’m coming onto them and will just think I want to sleep with them.” Let me address this misperception so we can clear it up once and for all.

If you are making out with a guy in his living room, he is going to assume that the two of you are just going to have a makeout session in the living room all night long. The only way we men know you want to sleep with us, even in that situation, is if you say “Let’s get naked and go in the bedroom.” Once again, men don’t pick up on subtlety and even on the semi-obvious.

So the fact is that if you like us, it’s okay to show some interest. We are not going to over-think or assume more about it than what it is. If you smile, lean in and touch our arm when you’re talking to us, we’re not going to think we’re going to get to hook-up with you right there and then or that you want to drag us off to bed.

All we think is that you like us, that we can ask you out . . . and this could potentially be a relationship. You need to remember this the next time your head is telling you that we’re reading all these other things into everything you do.

So ladies, take control of your dating lives by showing us when you’re interested. Not only is it okay to do that . . . but we men could not be happier when you do.

I recently had an opportunity to work with a woman who was having a long distance romance with someone she met on the Internet. What I like about the Internet as a way to meet people is that it’s convenient, easy, can be done in the comfort of your own home, and allows you to get a lot of information about someone to help you know if you want to try and meet them.

So as a whole, I think Internet dating is a fantastic way to go out and meet new and exciting people to date. Here is the problem, though, with Internet dating: some people are not who and what they claim to be.

This issue arises most often when you’re in a long-distance relationship with someone. Usually when you meet someone on the Internet who lives far away, you will first converse via email, then you’ll talk on the phone, and finally you’ll set up some type of rendezvous. While this rendezvous will occasionally take place in one of the two people’s home town, most often it will be set to occur in what I like to call “neutral territory.”

So if you are in this situation, whether it’s a long distance relationship or not, how do you know whether the person who you’ve been dating long distance is everything they say they are? How do you know they’re not married? How do you know they don’t have another family? Or, how do you know they don’t have another girlfriend or boyfriend (or two or three . . . )?

Here are 5 warning signs which likely mean that you are dating someone who is not exactly who or what they claim to be:

1. They Provide Limited Information. The first thing you want to do when you meet someone on the Internet, especially someone who is long distance, is get a complete picture of the other person. A lot of times when you meet people on the Internet, it’s very easy for them to pick and choose which things they want you to know. So, for example, they might only want to talk about certain topics (e.g., music, art and working out) while they are very reluctant to discuss other things. What else are they about? Are they just about those certain things or is there a lot more you don’t know about them? A lot of times if you connect with someone about one or two things, its really easy to overlook everything else. So ask yourself, do I really know this person? Is there more to them? Do I know anything about their family or friends? This is very important. Some of the people you meet online are very careful not to reveal any information about their friends. Or, if they do, they are very vague about who their friends are or what they do with their friends. If you are a woman and the man you’ve been talking to keeps telling you about his “friend” Monica with whom he goes out to the movies but about whom he is otherwise vague, you need to probe him about it. If the person is not giving you any details on the kind of activities they’re doing with their friends or one particular friend, you might want to start wondering if they are hiding something from you.

2. They Never Invite You Over. Another red flag that someone you’ve met on the Internet isn’t who or what they claim to be, is if they don’t invite you to their home after you’ve been dating for awhile. A lot of the people who have something to hide, even when they do invite you over, may insist that you always call to confirm before you come to their place. Why is it such a big deal? I understand in the beginning you want to be polite and respectful and not make impromptu appearances at someone’s front door, but if you’re really dating – even if it’s long distance – there is no reason you should not be able to just “stop by” and surprise them for a visit. Do they always get mad if you show up unexpected? While I wouldn’t say that you have to go to their place unexpected all the time, there is a balance where you should feel comfortable showing up at each other’s homes without worrying that doing so will make the other person angry.

3. They Don’t Give You Key Information. The next warning sign would be to look at another aspect of someone not giving you the complete picture of themselves. While it is normal in the beginning of a relationship not to discuss things like your finances with each other, it is a warning sign if you know nothing about how they handle their lifestyle. A lot of times I don’t know exactly what my personal friends do for a living, but I still always know how they conduct their lives, how they make their money and whether they are responsible with their money. Not every detail of course – just very broad strokes. If you’re dating a person and you’ve never heard anything about how they pay for things or how comfortable they are with their financial situation, that might be a warning sign. Why are they hiding something that is so simple? Having a common viewpoint about money is a key aspect to being happy with a partner.

4. You Haven’t Heard Of Or Met Any Of Their Friends. Another warning sign you might want to look at is if you haven’t met or heard of any of the other person’s friends. Even if you’ve heard general mention of friends, you should be concerned if you haven’t ever seen any of them (if you’re not in a long distance situation) or if the other person has kept their social circle completely vague. If so, then once again you need to ask yourself what they are not telling you. Are they only wanting you for one specific thing? Are they only wanting you to know one side of them because they’re afraid that if you find out something else about their life that you might be turned off by it or you might not want to have anything to do with them? So again pay attention to the relationships these people have and pay attention to the surroundings in which they live.

5. They Are Inconsistent. Even though you may be strongly enamored with this person, do you still notice inconsistencies in their behaviors or in their stories? A lot of times when we really like a person, we neglect to pay attention to the small details. We just see what we want to see, because we project on them our hopes and dreams about who they are. Sometimes when you’re in a new relationship, it’s easy to imagine the other person to be the perfect man or the perfect woman you want them to be. All fantasy aside, though, do you still see contradictions in the other person’s stories? Do you see contradictions in the things have or do in their lives? Do they tell you they want a certain goal, but all of their actions seem to be completely contradictory to that? This perhaps is another warning sign that they may be hiding something from you. It also may be a warning sign to that person’s real behavior patterns or personality. They may not have their life together as they’ve told you.

These are just some of the warning signs you may notice when you’re in a relationship with someone you met on the Internet. If you are in a long distance relationship with someone you met on the Internet, then you need to pay really close attention to these things.

If you don’t really pay attention to warning signs like these, especially when you’re pursuing a long distance relationship, you may end up spending your time in a fantasy-driven world that’s real only in your head.

There are a lot of people out there who are very lonely, There are also a lot of people out there who prey on people who are lonely. If your internal “radar” is telling you that something is a warning sign, don’t ignore it! It’s always better to err on the side of caution.