So when I write about what women do wrong online, I am not ignoring the fact that men are also guilty of doing wrong things online. I just like to address the sexes separately, because the mistakes men make online are either different from those women make or are “the same with a twist.”

Are you ready for the twist? Here are 8 of the most irritating online behaviors committed by men:

1. Athletic & Fit?: It’s time that all men realized that they are not Peyton Manning or Marvin Harrison. They’re not an Olympic gold medal-winning swimmer. Your body type is exactly what it is. So you really need to look in the mirror and make a determination of how you really look, because when you say “athletic and fit” in your online profile and only put up dazzling head shots of yourself, a woman is expecting a swimmer’s body to accompany that dazzling face. When what shows up instead is a dazzling face with a middle-aged body, the expression on a woman’s face is usually one of discomfort. When you post an accurate full-body photograph of yourself, you’ve already been exposed. Then you just let women make the choice if they are interested or not. It’s that simple. Lying about your body type never produces good results.

2. Stop Being A Salesman: When you contact a woman online, do not send her a cut and paste email telling her all the reasons why she should want to have a relationship with you, why you’re a gift to mankind and why she is a fool if she doesn’t answer your email. She can read your profile if she chooses. Your profile is intended to intrigue her. It’s not a sales brochure of all the reasons she needs to be in a relationship with someone she hasn’t even met yet. When you send a woman a message online, say something intriguing that will make her want to go and read your profile. Women do not want to read a cut and past email telling her how amazing you think you are. Let her find that out for herself.

3. Respect Her Age Range: If you’re a 50 year old man looking at a 25 year old woman’s profile that says she is looking for a man between the ages of 25 and 35, then you should not contact this woman. Period. You need to respect a woman’s stated age range for the men she’s looking to meet (give or take no more than five years). Nothing turns a woman off more than having her Father’s friends chasing her online. If a woman says she wants to date someone who is no more than five years older or younger than she, then she does not want to date someone twice her age. Men get visually impaired when they see pictures of beautiful women. Some men somehow think they have the right to date hot younger women half their age. Now there are some men can do this . . . but online is not the right place to try and do that. In online dating, you don’t stand a chance of dating women if you are outside their stated age range. Even if you would be able to completely dazzle a woman in person, online you’ll just be viewed as an old guy chasing younger women. If you want to meet younger women, get out of the house and dazzle them with your charm and wit – you’ll stand a much better chance.

4. Read Her Profile!: I’ve lost count of the number of women who email me saying “David, what is up with all these men who don’t read our profiles? I get so many men who wink at me when my profile clearly says ‘NO WINKS!’” Nothing turns a woman off more than a man who does not read her profile. Women are all about an emotional connection. So when you contact them, pick out something interesting in their profile and respond to it. By cutting and pasting a form letter to women without having read their profile, you are simply wasting your time. Online dating works, but you have to put a little effort into it by doing things like reading a woman’s profile so she knows you made some effort.

5. Nix The “Possession Pictures”: Before some of you get angry about this one, understand that I’ve ripped women on this same picture issue for putting up certain kinds of pictures with their friends or pictures of them from a distance. Men tend to put up pictures of their possessions – everything from their car to their Super Bowl tickets. The fact is that women don’t care about your possessions when they’re looking at an online profile. Now, granted, some women are looking for men to take care of them, but women still want to be able to see who you are when they look at your online profile. So put pictures up of you in different situations. Just be sure any picture you post is clear, up close, and current! If you have no hair, don’t put pictures up of yourself with a full head of hair. It’s just not going to work. Once again, you are who you are. There’s no need to go into salesman mode to get to meet women. There are plenty of women to meet out there – so represent yourself accurately and you’ll find them.

6. No Email Stalking: You contacted her once, and she didn’t respond. Why? Well perhaps she didn’t like what you wrote to her. Perhaps she’s busy. Perhaps there’s no reason at all. It doesn’t matter. If a woman doesn’t respond to your first email to her, email her again a week or ten days later just in case there was some snafu the first time (and so you won’t have to wonder if there was some snafu the first time). Doing this is perfectly fine. To send a woman a barrage of increasingly nasty emails for four or five days asking why she isn’t responding to your emails (or something similarly nasty), however, is behavior guaranteed to get a woman to NEVER want to communicate with you or see you. It’s frankly tantamount to email stalking. Two emails with no response equals you needing to move on to someone else.

7. Lose The One-Liner: I can’t tell you how many women have forwarded me emails they’ve received from men online whose first contact with them is something akin to a “hello” subject line with a one-line email body containing his phone number and an invitation to call him. It’s usually something like “Sally, give me a call sometime – my number is 301-555-5555.” How do men expect women to respond to this – by calling them? If a total stranger on the Internet sent you their phone number and asked you to call them sometime, you wouldn’t call them either. Women like to be intrigued and pursued a little bit. By sending this one-liner email, you did nothing to intrigue them. Get creative in your first email to women you meet online, and they’ll be offering their phone numbers to you.

8. Don’t Be An IM Stalker: Some online dating sites allow you to instant message with people you meet. This can be great! If you’ve emailed a woman several times and she’s never responded, however, do not start instant messaging that woman every time she gets online. You’re going to freak her out! Allow someone to answer you (or not answer you), but don’t become so obsessed over one person. Take a look at Yahoo! Personals. There’s TONS of people to date on there. TONS! So don’t start stalking one person with instant messages, and making them wish they would have never tried online dating in the first place. Respect when someone is not attracted to you or interested in you.

Online dating is fun. It also may be challenging at times. The best thing to do is to think of it as a party on the Internet, and don’t engage in behaviors online that you would never engage in at a real-life party.

If you want more online dating tips and/or a way to make your profile and contacts better, send me an email. I’ve told you here what to avoid doing . . . but there’s plenty you can do to make yourself a more successful online dater.

There are more than six billion people in the world today. So you have to believe that the answer to that question is yes.

There are so many people out there, and so many great people to meet. If you’re not out there taking action meeting and talking to people, though, I can see why you might have such a “doomsday” attitude questioning whether there is someone out there for everyone.

I get a lot of emails like this one from people. People email me looking for some “magic pill” to fix their dating lives. They want me to give them the one answer that will fix everything.

What kind of answer does someone want who writes to me asking whether there is someone for everyone — yes?! I am not a messiah or a prophet. I’m not a psychic. The answer to that question all depends upon whether YOU believe that there is someone for everyone.

I am someone who can absolutely teach you the skills you need to meet someone (and to meet the most amazing someone), but you need to invest in yourself and really believe, learn and embrace what I teach to make that happen.

So many people email me looking for the magic cure to all their dating issues. So many people send me emails that are prefaced by something like “If I could just know this one thing…” or “If you could just answer this one question…” It’s really just never that simple, though, and it takes a lot more to really make a change in your dating life.

That is why I’ve developed products, write my blog and have a membership site. It takes time to alter and authentically change your belief system. The truth is that nobody can change your belief system for you. I can show you the way, but you need to do the work on yourself and change it.

So back to the original question from my female reader “Is there someone out there for everyone?” The answer to that question is an unequivocal YES. Not only is there someone out there for everyone, but there are amazing people to meet along the way while you’re out there finding that special someone.

It all starts, however, by learning the basic skills of how to interact with people. If you don’t have the basic skills or you refuse to learn the basic skills (and a lot of people DO refuse to learn them), then you will always feel like it’s “doomsday” in your love life.

Life is a great journey. Take a step every day, and you’ll meet great people.

Today’s video is a repeat on what i feel is the problem with today’s men. We are all guilty of this and need to embrace this message if we really desire happiness.

I don’t know what you all think of MySpace or Facebook, but in my opinion, social networking sites are borderline weird – especially if you’re like me and have dated somebody who basically lived for them.

Earlier this year, I was actually dating a Facebook/MySpace junkie. So today, Rey was on the computer when he started laughing really loudly. When I asked him what was up, he told me that I had been removed from her friend list.

I was removed from both her MySpace and Facebook friend lists. Is this elementary school? Have I been banned from the tree house? Have I been eliminated?

Do you remember that tree house when you were a kid? The one that you weren’t allowed to enter because you weren’t cool enough or something?

So I’m no longer on her Facebook or MySpace page. Is that supposed to hurt me? I moved on the day she left! I couldn’t wait for the relationship to end – because it just wasn’t right.

So now she’s punishing me? By taking me off of her MySpace and Facebook pages? Really, are we in kindergarten? “You can’t have this piece of gum because I don’t like you anymore!”

How many of you eliminate people from your life and then subsequently eliminate them from your MySpace and Facebook pages as well?

Is that supposed to be the final slap? So we can’t play anymore online. She can’t tag me or bite me. She can’t poke me anymore?

That’s quite all right – because we’re done ‘poking’ in reality as well! I don’t need to be poked in fantasyland. We already poked in real life and it didn’t work out, and now the relationship is over. I don’t need to be poked on Facebook.

It’s the same way that I feel about strip clubs. Why go and get someone to grind on you when it’s totally fake?

I’m all about reality – not fantasy. So for those of you who play around on MySpace and Facebook – I’m talking about poking, rearranging your top five friends like they’ve earned a promotion – stop!

I remember when I was hanging out with this girl – she used to rearrange her top five friends on MySpace depending on the mood she was in that day.

Seriously. This isn’t elementary school, and it’s not a popularity contest – oh wait, it’s the internet, I forgot that it is a popularity contest!

First, you have to look at your mutual friends. Obviously, you couldn’t be looking at her profile if you don’t have a mutual friend. You’re not cruising Facebook – you’re just looking through other people’s friends.

Joe Smith sends you a friend request, and you don’t know him, so you look at his friends. You see Mary Thompson is one of his friends, and you add her as a friend.

And of course Mary Thompson confirms you as a friend – because the internet is a fucking popularity contest and everyone wants a lot of friends! Facebook and MySpace are like having 5,000 friends that you never talk to! They could give a fuck about me, but they are still all of my buddies.

But when I show up as their happy friend, it makes them feel popular. Being on the internet is like regressing back to junior high school. Don’t you feel bad on Facebook when you see someone with like two friends? You think to yourself, oh, what a loser, he’s got two friends! It’s ridiculous; it’s such a popularity contest.

So anyway, you go to this woman’s profile and add her as a friend. She will always add you, and then you send her an email.

Subject line: Man, Joe knew we would be…

I always like the dot-dot-dot because when it comes down to marketing yourself, you have to think like a business. Most people in the subject line of an email write “hello.” What the fuck, hello? Delete.

But you know when you get good junk email, and you swear that you don’t want to open it, and when you do open it, you’re like, oh shit, I got caught again! How did you get caught? They had a good subject line, right? So your subject line has to be something good that will make her want to open your email.

And then the body of the email: …that we would be great friends, so I added you. So now that you’re my really good friend, can you help me out with one thing? Who the hell is Joe Smith? He just appeared one day as my friend, and I’m hoping you can hope me unlock the mystery of Joe Smith. ☺

You do the smiley face so that she knows that you are funny and clever.

She’s going to open it, giggle and laugh, and she’s going to answer you back. You just became her buddy. Then your messages will go back and forth just like any other email exchange.

You have to get clever. Most guys are so bad at emailing.

Mine was great. I laid low and relaxed and had my Fantasy Football draft last night. As usual it looks like I will be the best team!!!

Today I want to share with you something that I find really wrong. A mans mother sent this to a friend of mine who is dating on Match.com

She of course forwarded it to me right away!!

From: saxxbh (xxxbh@talkmatch.com)
To:xxxfully1111 (xxxx1111@talkmatch.com)
Date received: August 31, 2008
Subject: its eric’s mom — your darling

Hi,
You may think this is odd….but my son is reluctant to search for someone special, because he’s a bit jaded of the whole dating scene. He does really want to find that special woman.

I thought I would act as my son’s matchmaker. I think you could be a good match for him.

Let me know if you would like my son (Eric) to email you some info about him and his photo. He is not on Match. Thanks.

Sandy

sanxxx
61-year-old woman
Beverly Hills, CA, US
Seeks men 58-68
Active within 24 hours

He is jaded by the whole dating scene.

Great so he does not have the guts to get out there and play the game like everyone else.

So his mommy is looking for dates. I can only imagine when you hang with this mommas boy and move in together.

Does mom come and move into the guest room?

Does she pick out all the furniture?

Does she tell him when and how to have sex?

In order to date you need to find your own dates and have a great attitude!!

What do you guys think of meddling mommies and jaded daters?

I listened to it the other day when I was driving around. It’s about a guy who is basically bored in his relationship and puts out a personal ad. His ad says, “do you like piña coladas, getting caught in the rain? If you’re not into health food and like the taste of champagne,” or something like that. “Do you like making love at midnight…” blah blah blah… whatever might be.

But what is really funny about it is that the internet is just full of personal ads. We’re all searching for somebody that fits our personal ad. Have you gone to match.com, or Yahoo personals, or any of the other websites, and read what the opposite sex is looking for?

This is great research. If you want to learn about the opposite sex, and learn about what is important to them, just sign up for a dating site for three days. Search the opposite sex’s ads – forget about the pictures. Don’t even look at the pictures. This isn’t Maxim magazine or Cosmo – just read the profiles. Read what people say in their profiles. Look at what they are talking about.

You can learn so much about the opposite sex by reading profiles. Spend an hour or two every single night reading profiles. Read about what people say about themselves, and read about what they are looking for. Read everything.

This way you will learn about the opposite sex, and you will learn what they are looking for. You will also start to understand them more. A lot of the problem is that men and women don’t understand each other; and they don’t do enough research to begin to even begin to understand one another.

So do some research. Instead of trying to meet the opposite sex – research the opposite sex!

Recently I told a client that he needed to learn women. Go to a coffee shop, bring a newspaper, and sit down next to two women chatting. Learn how to speak woman-talk. If you want to learn about men, sit down next to two men at a café and listen to them talk to each other.

Listen to the opposite sex interacting with each other. Then you can learn how to communicate better with the opposite sex.

Worst-case scenario: you can always post a personal ad titled “Do you like piña coladas!”

Todays Video is all about drinking that Pina Colada and heading to the beach. A live in field breakdown of beach hook ups.

I got a message from a woman tonight who told me, “I just wish I could be able to tell from a guy’s online profile whether or not we’ll have chemistry. There must be a simple way to be able to read a profile and know if we’re going to get along?”

Let me tell you something: profiles lie. People write the most ridiculous things in their profiles – I think of online profiles as Fantasyland half of the time.

It’s like an advertisement for a new weight loss pill: “lose 300 pounds in two minutes!” In their online profiles, everybody seems to write things that express who they want to be and not who they really are.

For instance, if someone is in his or her late forties, they always write, “I’m 48, but I’m a young 48. I don’t look like I’m 48.” Nobody thinks that they look like their age. You either look good for your age, or you don’t.

I’m 46 years old, and I look good for my age. I know people who are my age that don’t – and they admit it. Some of us look good for our age, and some of us don’t. It’s the way life is. The way we are depends on the way we take care of ourselves – our exercise routines, our genes, everything.

So stop building yourself up on your profile. Let the reader make a decision based on your photo about if you look good for your age. When you build yourself up like this, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you say, “I really look great for my age,” and somebody upon seeing your photo disagrees, then you will take it as a personal insult.

Profiles are just fantasy – and often nothing more. People write whatever they want to write. They don’t tell you the truth! If someone is slightly overweight, they aren’t going to tell you that in their profile! They will give you this beautiful picture of who they are.

We’re people, and we all have our faults. We all have flaws. And the only way to find that out is to go out and meet people. If you took the amount of time you spend online dating and actually went out into the real world to talk to people, you wouldn’t go back to spending so much time with online dating.

You can’t make one thing your only resource. You need to do what I call the ’20-20-20-20-20 rule.’ 20% of your life can be online dating, 20% can be meeting men or women in supermarkets, 20% can be meeting them in coffee shops, 20% can be parties… whatever it is.

You have to diversify your portfolio – your dating and people meeting portfolio. If this year, all you invested in was the S & P 500, you’d be down about 20% in the stock market right now.

If you bought real estate in 2005 thinking the market would get better, you’d be down about 40% – 80% right now, depending on the market that you’re in. Life is all about diversification.

The next time that you are angry with the internet, or angry with people in their online dating profiles, ask yourself: are you diversified in the way you meet people? If you’re not, you are never going to meet anybody.

So get out there and diversify!

Today lets spend our Sunday talking about nice guys.

Are you a nice guy that always seems to be in the friend zone.

Todays podcast will open your eyes to say the least.

Click here to download…

Have a great Sunday.

You know, I was just on the phone with a client of mine and we had an interesting conversation about how to deal with assholes. There is no other way to put it, right?

My client wanted to figure out how to get a particular asshole (“Mr. Asshole”) to like him. No matter how nice my client was to him, Mr. Asshole still acted like an asshole. That is, Mr. Asshole was still confrontational and disagreeable about almost everything. I told my client that an asshole is one because there is always shit coming out of their mouth.

There is no reason to befriend everybody. If you are nice to someone and they are an asshole to you or are just plain old rude to you, then you have done nothing to them to warrant their behavior. You’ve been nice, self-aware, non-confrontational, and you haven’t challenged them. You’ve killed them with kindness. Yet they still choose to be an asshole.

So what’s the point? You need to understand and accept the fact that you can’t make everybody like you and respond favorably to you.

The way I look at it is if someone is being an asshole, it’s really your ego that doesn’t like it. Your ego may not like that you can’t succeed in getting this person to think the way that you are thinking. Your ego may not like that you can’t get this person to respond favorably to you.

It’s also your ego that doesn’t allow you to just walk away from someone like this. If I have to deal with an asshole, then I will kill them with kindness during the one or two obligatory minutes I must spend talking to them. When I then walk away, I will just mutter “asshole” under my breath and walk away . . . because I just don’t care.

I don’t really care if somebody doesn’t like me or doesn’t respond favorably to me. All I care about is that I treat everyone with respect, kindness and integrity. That is the kind of person I am.

So if you are dealing with an asshole, you need to remember that it’s just your ego that is affected by them. Then drop the ego, and just walk away.

You know, it’s funny. Let me share with you a perfect story about needing to drop the ego. When I was recently in Hawaii, I surfed for four days. On three of those days I kicked ass – I got up on the board, I surfed and I had a great time.

I was there with my ex, Alison. She just started surfing not too long ago, but she’s already good at it. She’s one of those naturals. So on surfing day number four, I knew I felt a little stiff. I do yoga on a regular basis, so I went into a lot of yoga poses to try and unlock my body and get rid of some of the stiffness I was feeling.

I was still stiff after I did that though, and my intuition and my gut told me to just go out in the water and swim. Because I used to be a competitive swimmer as a kid and used to be a lifeguard, I should have just had a great time swimming the day away in the Pacific Ocean . . . but of course my ego wouldn’t allow that.

My ego made me get up on that surfboard because I wanted to surf one more day and because I wanted to prove that I could do a good job at it four days. So, what happened? My lower back jammed on my left hand side, and I spent the last couple days rehabilitating it.

By the time I post this blog, my back will be fine. The question is: Will I learn from my experience? That is, the next time will I trust my instincts and honor my body, or will I allow my ego to rule once again?

The analysis is no different when it comes down to dealing with assholes. You have to trust yourself. You have to be open, and you have to drop that ego. The more you keep that ego, the more hurt you will experience. So remember that not everyone is going to like you and you can’t catch every wave.

Todays video is all about how to find great single people online. Match.com would never want you to know what I am about to share.

It’s springtime, leading into summertime, and in most cities across the world there are food markets on Saturdays or Sundays. There you can go and get breakfast or lunch, you can get some vegetables for the week, you can get some flowers for your house – that is if you want to buy flowers, you know.

But these food markets are amazing, because they are crawling with people – men, women, screaming babies – or hopefully you can avoid the screaming babies. But the market is crawling with amazing people.

One of the best approaches at a food market is just to walk up directly to where that woman is standing – or if you’re a woman, directly to where a man is standing – and really use the food as a prop.

Take a look at the rolls, look at her, and say, “I was wondering, have you had the bread from here, is it good? I could ask the person behind the counter, but of course they’re going to say yes because they work here!”

Same thing with fruit – you could just walk up to them and say, “man, this fruit looks so good, have you gotten fruit from this stand before? It’s hard to choose which stand to get fruit from!” and then let them talk.

“I was wondering…” and “I’m curious…” are really good here. If she’s eating this incredible looking sandwich, you can walk directly over to her as she’s walking through the market and say, “excuse me, I’m really curious – where did you get sandwich? It looks so good.”

There’s a conversation starter that you need when you’re in a food market. Then listen carefully. Have a great conversation about food, have a great conversation about the nice day. Not small talk here – you can find out a lot of things about them, if you pay attention.

I don’t want to script each minute of this conversation, because it’s not about that. If you really pay attention to what the woman (or the man) in this situation is saying, you’re able to ask them even more questions about the food, or about what they’re passionate about, or why they’re so passionate about the sandwich they’re eating.

So all of a sudden they’ll tell you, “yeah, this is a great sandwich, one of the best I’ve ever had – but not as good as the one I had at this other market,” and then you can ask, “what other market?” and you can capitalize on that. You can talk about food markets, and you can talk about food.

What will happen is that an interest in food – which all of us have, because we all eat! It’s not like something we don’t know how to talk about – we eat three times a day! Some of us do it six times a day!

Some of us like wine, some of us like vegetables, some of us like flowers. Some of these little food markets have art shops and other things. You know all of this stuff! You’re an expert in all of this stuff. You’ve been eating every day since you were born.

So you should have something to talk about here. It’s a wonderful place to meet people, so go enjoy it!

Todays Video is how to create the perfect first kiss.