You know what’s funny, I was just on Skype trying to call a guy who works for me and he rejected my phone call (because he was on another call with someone). Nowadays with Caller ID, you always know who is calling you.
This blog is not, however, about Caller ID. It’s about what the guy said to me when he let me know he was on another call. He said to me, “I’ll call you when I get off.”
I thought, “I really don’t want to talk to you after you get off. I really don’t.” First of all, I don’t want to visualize you going to the bathroom, taking care of yourself, and then grabbing your phone with your greasy disgusting cum fingers. I really don’t need to know about you getting off.
Now if you are a woman and say to me “I’ll call you when I get off,” maybe that’s another story. Really, though, I don’t want to know that you have just gotten off.
It’s very funny the words people use. How many times has someone said to you on the phone, “Hey I’ll call you when I get off.” Well, great! I hope you enjoy that orgasm. Do you want me to listen to you have it too?
So the next time someone says to you, “I will call you when I get off,” be prepared with something good to say to them. Tell them, “Please don’t call me when you get off, because I don’t want to hear you cum. Call me when you’re off the phone.”
It would be interesting, though, if someone meant this literally. Can you imagine?
You pick up the phone and hear, “Oh, oh, oh!” as they moan and groan on the phone. If they have a significant other, you might even hear the climactic, orgasmic finish. This would really suck, however, if you haven’t had sex in a while and were constantly listening to people who call you when they’re getting off.
Since I am so powerful in football predictions, I figured some of you will be waiting to hear my World Series predictions. Some of you are probably thinking, “Why can’t you predict when I’m going to get laid or when my next date will be?” Well that I can’t do (and that’s what my products are for).
I don’t care who makes it from the National League, because the Yankees are winning it all this year. You can take that prediction to the bank . . . and maybe even to the bedroom.
Life is not fair. The other night I was having a conversation with someone about sex. I’m not going to tell you all the specifics, other than to tell you that after that discussion, I was absolutely orgasm envious! So let’s talk about orgasms, and I will tell you the reason why I’m orgasm envious.
By the way, if I could have one wish it would be that I could have a vagina for a day. I just think it would be so much fun. I already know exactly what kind of orgasms I’d want to have. I’d love to know how to have multiple orgasms through all different ways.
I’d want to have a g-spot orgasm. Of course there is the clitoris, so I’d want at least one clitoral orgasm (since the only reason it exists is for pleasure). Then there is this other place way back in the bowels of the vagina that supposedly can create a whole other type of orgasm.
I mean, give me a break. Right there, that’s three different kinds of orgasms! We men only get one kind.
I really don’t, however, want to talk today about the unfairness of orgasm counts between the sexes. What I really want to talk about today is sexual prime.
By the time men hit the age of 25, they are basically out of their sexual prime. Age 25? Half of the guys out there don’t even get laid enough to enjoy their sexual prime while they’re in it. Then by the time they are getting enough sex, they are already out of their sexual prime.
Women, on the other hand, don’t hit their sexual prime until they are around 37 years old. Think about the way that balances out.
By the time a guy is 37 years old, he isn’t exactly producing the same amount of “little swimmers” as he used to produce. Not only that, he doesn’t really want to have sex five times a day anymore (while women at that same age are machines!).
It’s no wonder that 37 year old women are the number one consumers of vibrators. They can basically vibrate their day away.
It’s really not fair the way things line up here. It really seems like things are very askew. It’s no wonder that there are so many cougars running around out there.
If I were a 37 year old woman who was hanging out with a Viagra-infused 55 year old guy with no stamina, I would certainly go find myself a young buck. I mean look at Demi Moore.
Don’t ever give her a hard time. She has a guy who is (whoops, I mean was) in his sexual prime. Wait, she may need to go find someone even younger. Justin Timberlake and Zach Efron, Demi Moore may be calling you really soon.
All joking aside, it just doesn’t seem right how the sexual prime thing is set up. Is this God’s way of punishing us? Someone was being mean when they designed the penis and the vagina. Why aren’t those two things created to be in alignment with one another?
Can all the guys remember when you were 18 and you basically would hump the air every five seconds (almost like a dog that humps the air all the time)? The reason why you were humping air was because you constantly wanted your dick to be touched.
I remember when I was 18 years old. I was so penis conscious, it was ridiculous. I felt my penis nonstop. No, I don’t mean that I touched my penis nonstop. I was just aware of it nonstop.
My penis led my life. It made me sleep with some really iffy women. It wasn’t my idea to sleep with them. It was my penis’ idea.
Not only that, but some guys can’t snuggle with a woman until they hit 28 years old. When you are a male who is 22 or 23 years old and your girlfriend asks you to snuggle, you have to go to the bathroom and snap a load off before you can do it.
This sexual prime gap between men and women just does not seem fair. Something is kharmically wrong here! It’s a mean joke. It’s like our sexual primes should have been matched.
Then again, some of this seeming mismatch may actually have been designed better than we thought. So although a guy past his sexual prime may no longer be able to pump and grind five times in one night, he can really satisfy a woman during the one time they do it and will be more likely to want to engage in a lot more of the foreplay that women crave so much.
I rarely ever make a correction to any blog, but I have to tell you something. I can see why some of you are having trouble meeting the opposite sex.
You take things out of context when you read, and if you do it while you’re reading then I know you do it when you’re listening. My blogs are short, but if you want to get the whole message then you have to read them from beginning to end.
I posted a blog the other day that was titled “We’re Pregnant!” I got congratulatory messages all day long on Facebook, on the blog and in my email inbox. If you’d actually read even the first four lines of that blog, however, you would know that Sonja and I aren’t not pregnant and that the blog was about how men use the phrase ‘we’re pregnant.’
Enough about that blog, except that it’s interesting how life is all about perception. Some of you perceived that my girlfriend and I were pregnant.
It was probably the same group of people who don’t listen to what people say, and have difficulty transitioning into deeper, more meaningful conversations with people to whom they are attracted. Life is all about perception, but you’ve got to listen and communicate everything in order to get what you want.
It’s funny. I have someone who works for me who wants to know why they aren’t making more money. It’s not that I’m not paying them well. It’s that they are not doing what they are supposed to be doing (and need to be doing) to earn more.
If they’re not on Skype during the day, I can’t get a hold of them when I need to do so, and they are on the bottom of the sales numbers every month, then I will perceive them as lazy. I will perceive them as not having a good work mindset.
Now, if you want to masturbate the day away, that’s your business. I’m not talking about physically masturbating (although some people do). I am talking about mental masturbation.
People who don’t take action often times are mental masturbators. They’ll mentally masturbate about having great sex, losing that weight, being able to approach the opposite sex, or whatever it may be.
Mental masturbation is no different than physical masturbation. You just get off in a very different way.
You think about the big home you’re going to have, the car you’ll be driving or taking over a business. In reality, though, you’re still the same person who is getting nothing done and who has the same poor work habits.
Life is full of fears, and unfortunately some of us spend more time mentally masturbating away our fears instead of actually doing something about them. It’s no different than masturbating with your hand or a vibrator. Think about it.
Whenever you get off alone, it’s never even close to how good it is to get off with someone with whom you’ve connected. In a work context, whenever you actually accomplish a goal it is always so much better than mentally masturbating it. Approaching actual women and learning how to be confident doing will always feel better than mentally masturbating all the women you want to approach.
Eventually you have to overcome your fear and just do these things. I am a doer, not a talker.
I am not attracted to talkers. I’ll coach them, but I don’t have any friends in my life who are talkers. I surround myself with doers.
With whom do you surround yourself — doers or talkers? Do you surround yourself with a bunch of mental masturbators so you can stroke each other all day long and never get to your destination?
That’s all for this topic. Speaking of stroking, though, today’s video will tell you how to stroke women so they’ll climax like never before. Ahhh…your mind is so dirty right now, but the sexual technique I’m going to show you will stroke women in a place you would have never thought of…
Last night I witnessed something that blew me away. No, one of the guys at the Bootcamp did not propose to a woman.
I saw a 3D movie, and let me tell you something. It was nothing like the days of the plastic glasses.
We saw the movie “Up,” and it was really cute. I have to say that 3D effects have come a LONG way since the days of the plastic dinosaur and the plastic glasses. They’ve come a long way since the era of “Jaws 3 – 3D” where you have very unreal body parts floating off the screen toward you.
I’m off to the Bootcamp. It’s another sunny day here in La La Land.
In today’s blog I want to raise something about which I was thinking the other day that I thought was really interesting: Where do most people masturbate?
Do most people masturbate in bed? Do people masturbate at the office (a topic on which I have done a blog by the way)?
Where is the most interesting place that you’ve ever masturbated?
Do you realize that most men masturbate in the shower, because it’s quick, easy, and clean? A lot of women also masturbate in the shower. Well, actually, a lot of them masturbate in the bathtub (because they have the pressure of the running water).
So I want to hear from you today. What is the most interesting place you’ve ever masturbated? Were you alone? Were you with a lover?
Was it perhaps even in front of a group of people? Have you ever been cheered on by thousands of people as you stroked or played with your clit?
I’m curious to know what the most fascinating way is that you’ve ever masturbated? Also, what do you think about when you masturbate?
Share with everyone today — I want to hear from you.
A lot of people spend so much time masturbating – they spend so much time physically pleasuring themselves. But really, the best form of masturbation is mental masturbation.
How do you mentally get off? What do you do in life to really stimulate your brain? To stimulate your mind? To stimulate your soul? Are you constantly working, constantly building up a life, but yet not doing anything to mentally masturbate?
And what do I mean by the term ‘mental masturbation?’ I mean, how do you enjoy your mind? How do you enhance your mind? (more…)
Today we are going to head in a wet direction, no I am not talking about all the recent snow back east.
Or my office view of the beach.
I am talking about the female orgasm.
Have you ever squirted? Are you a woman, and you’ve expressed the nectar of the gods? Or, really, squirted the nectar of the gods? Do you believe that women can actually squirt when they have an orgasm?
A lot of women think that this is a rumor – that it’s basically the guy’s version of going into the northern Washington mountains and searching for Bigfoot. Or, heading for Scotland and looking for the Loch Ness monster. (more…)
There is a conversation that comes up time and time again with my women clients that I think is really interesting. So many women tell me how they want to explore themselves sexually, but then tell me all the reasons why they don’t do it or why they feel they shouldn’t do it. (more…)
