…you may or may not think this is funny.

But you must read on.

There’s a restaurant in the Venice area of Los Angeles called Gjelina (pronounced jell-e-nah) and it’s very hip.

You know, one of those places you go where there’s lots of open space and everybody is talking.

It’s all ra-ra-ra-ra-ra when you walk in because there are so many conversations bouncing off the walls.

As fun as it is, the social scene is not what people like most about the restaurant.

See, Gjelina may be the most hipster restaurant in all of Venice, California.

All the hipsters go there.

So we’re talking about all the guys who have handle bar mustaches. (I have no idea when that ever came back into style, but it seems to be the current rage in Venice.) They’ve got the hair parted in the middle, slicked down on both sides, looking almost like a bad version of Pee-Wee Herman.  Or they’ve got the big, coifed hair that goes way up in the air.

They’re wearing suspenders.

Everybody’s got a pair of Red Wing boots that look like they were either: a. bought vintage from eBay; or b. worn for three weeks in the middle of a forest.

They’ve got the jeans cuffed up, but not cuffed up the cool way like James Dean did it, but cuffed way up their calves so you can see the entire boot.

Bizarre look.

Then they’ve got some type of flannel shirt, but it’s not the old style flannel shirts, it’s the new flannel shirt, almost like they found it at the vintage shop but then got it altered and tailored to fit absolutely perfect for them.

They have beards, a lot of them. Ever since that guy Zach from The Hangover wore a beard, all the dirty hipsters decided to wear these big, full-on beards.

But the funny thing about it is that they all gather at this overpriced restaurant for an overpriced breakfast, and most of them don’t even have money.  It’s almost like they just save their money just to be seen at an overpriced restaurant where all the other hipsters hang out.

But here’s the deal, some of these hipsters are actually reproducing.  And when hipsters reproduce, their kids have names like Story and Seven and Montana and Denver and Mobile.

They don’t do “normal” names anymore.  It’s all just weird names or numbers or things or places.

I met a kid the other day. His name was Suspa.

Suspa.

What is a Suspa?  The women looked at me and said “it’s a feeling I once had.”

She actually said that.

You’ve got to say that this hipster generation is one of the weirdest generations ever.  Not only are they super trendy, but they all just pose.

If you ever go to Gjelina—where these photos were taken, by the way—you’ll see how they hang out.

Tell me what you think of all the hipsters nowadays.

Are you a hipster?

It’s so funny to watch people walk around on a cloudy day with dark glasses on. It makes absolutely no sense at all. They can’t possibly need the sunglasses, there’s no sun out. Especially inside the airport. Ever been in LAX? That place is dark, gloomy, and outdated in every which way.

Living in L.A. is a real comedy sometimes. It’s a real circus parade. I know that for many of you a celebrity sighting is a fun thing, it’s like spotting a wild bird or an endangered species. But in Los Angeles, these celebrities, no matter what level they are, whether it’s a B-list, C-list, or D-list quasi-celebrity, will always mask themselves in public because they feel that the world is constantly chasing them and looking at them. But in reality, the majority of people won’t even recognize who somebody is until they put on the dark glasses on and the scarf.

Celebrities

Because here’s the deal: when it’s a cloudy, rainy day, and you’re walking into the supermarket with dark sunglasses and a scarf on, everybody is going to look at you. So I think what they’re actually doing is the exact opposite of what they’re pretending to do, and they’re doing it for a reason: they really want people to notice them. By masking themselves, they actually want to be noticed.

I have found that the majority of people I’ve met who are so-called celebrities are some of the most insecure people in the world. A lot of them are narcissists who want others to look at them constantly, asking, “Who is that? Ooh, is that a celebrity?” A lot of them really love the attention 24/7. So it’s a pretty ironic thing to be able to watch the circus parade all the time.

So many people just want other people to look at them. They want to be noticed. A lot of them come here to Los Angeles just to be noticed, just to be famous. It’s amazing when you drive around Los Angeles. There are just so many wannabe celebrities.

May 1.

When I lived in NYC i always felt a great sense of relief when May hit.

It meant that summer was right around the corner and there was a certain magic in the air.

Now living in LA LA land, May 1 is just another date on the calendar.

So what do you have planned on this great May day?

How about meeting some women that are on sale?

Did you ever realize that most women are actually 75% off.

Ok so now you are thinking, what can David be talking about.

Glad you asked!

And don’t worry men are equally on sale on this video.

We have a lot of international followers and readers of the blog. We always get a ton of emails every day, and last week alone the emails we got from you guys came anywhere from the US to Sweden to Zimbabwe to Indonesia. They were great!

But a lot of your questions are cultural. A lot of you guys think that what “works” for us won’t work for you where you are because you live in a smaller town, or you’re Muslim, or you’re in Asia, or you’re European and Europeans don’t like being approached by strangers, or whatever the excuse is.

This week’s blog is coming to you live from Lebanon, where I’m coaching a client and we’re enjoying the incredible Beirut nightlife. Originally we had planned on a coaching weekend in NYC, but my client wasn’t sure if what I was going to teach him in the USA would “work” when he returned home. So I went to stay with him in Lebanon to show him exactly how having the right attitude and the right outlook on going out will “work” for him wherever he goes.

Here’s the deal guys: I’ve lived and traveled all over the world. I’ve dated people from all over the world, of different colors, different religions, different traditions. I’ve been in amazing relationships with women who, on the outside, were very different from me. And one of my greatest lessons has been that, at the core, we really are all the same. We all react to the same things. We all respond to the same attractive, confident attitude in the opposite sex. That’s what I teach and that’s why I get great results for my clients, wherever they are located.

So my lesson for you is that when you’re going out this weekend, whatever it is that you do, it WILL work if you trust yourself, you have the right attitude, and you have the right mindset. Remember my message last week about just cultivating good energy, having fun, and just being friendly? That goes for everyone, and I don’t care where on this earth you are located. A bar is a bar is a bar, whether you are in Toronto, Rome, Sydney, or Bangkok.

Now I’m sure that there are pickup-lines, and jokes, and cheesy routines that work in a bar in LA that won’t work in a bar in Tokyo. And vice versa. Bu forget about all of that because what you need to focus on is not WHAT to do when you go out, it’s HOW you do it.

This is something that a lot of men do wrong all the time. Men love to think there’s some magic formula, and some guys have it, while others don’t. They think there’s four magic words they can say when they go out at night that will turn them in to Mr. Charisma.

The fact is there is no perfect thing to say in every situation. There never has been and there never will be. There is no magic bible that will walk you through and guarantee success in your social life. There is no Lonely Planet “Guide to Meeting Amazing People” for every country.

I travel a lot and I really don’t need to waste my time coming up with the right thing to say based on cultural differences. I don’t need to act like a different person, or treat people any differently, simply because right now I’m in Lebanon.

Men Checking Out Women At Starbucks In Lebanon

The secret is for you to be “the same you” wherever you go, and whatever you do. The secret is to not let a change in your environment create a change in the way you walk through life. Don’t change how you act simply because you stepped foot into a bar or lounge. Wherever I go, I act exactly the same (save for some basic local etiquette rules).

Every cultural barrier that you believe exists, every invisible barrier that’s preventing you from having an amazing dating life and meeting people of the opposite sex, it’s only there because YOU put it there.

If you believe that women and men in bars in Germany are unfriendly and not willing to talk to strangers, guess what? They will be. If you are living in China and you think that women only want a tall foreigner but you happen to be a short foreigner, then to you, women will only want a tall foreigner. If you’re in the Middle East like me right now and you think that a Middle Eastern woman will run away from you for thinking sexual thoughts, then she will run. And she will run far.

We are people. Every person, man and woman, black and white, thinks sexual thoughts. And when we as people go out at night, we all want to meet someone friendly and unique, who is interested in us, and who knows how to have a good time.

Okay, not everyone. That is a bad word to use, and I shouldn’t generalize. So I’ll just say this: In Los Angeles, there is a very high percentage of people over the age of thirty who are still living in dreamland.

A friend of mine recently was dating somebody like this. I will not use either of their names, so as to protect the innocent . . . and the guilty.

Anyway, my friend had been dating a dreamer for awhile. She is around 40 years old and has two children.

That alone is a tough thing, because her life is dictated by her kids. In future blogs, we’ll talk about dating with kids in your 30′s and 40′s.

We’ll also talk about the topic of how much say your kids should have in your dating life. Your own gut instinct about someone you’re dating is great, but often kids are very angry about you not being with their dad (or mom) anymore, so they will poo-poo every person who comes into your life.

We’re not going to discuss those issue today though. Today, we’re going to talk about the dreamers out there.

How many of you, regardless of whether you’re a woman or a man, have met someone who is perpetually searching for that dream they should have gotten twenty years ago — that dream job, that dream situation, or that dream whatever they want to do or have in their life? In Los Angeles, these folks are everywhere.

I always make the joke that if you ever get a parking ticket in Los Angeles, that the meter maid (or meter man) is likely an aspiring screenwriter. The only reason they are writing tickets is because it’s the only writing job they could get that pays money.

You go to the gym in LA and meet a lawyer, and the lawyer will tell you that he does divorce law, but doesn’t want to do it all the time. Then he’ll tell you that he has a reality television show in development.

You go to the bank, and the teller behind the counter actually wants to play a bank teller in a movie about a bank heist. So as they sit there collecting your money, they are actually dreaming about having John Travolta point a gun at them during a ‘stick up’ in a bank robbery movie.

Los Angeles is a town full of dreamers. The problem with being in a town full of dreamers when you’re dating, is that it’s hard to sift through them to find the non-dreamers.

This is especially true when you’re over a certain age and dating — particularly if you’re a woman (or man) with kids — and you are looking to date someone who is grounded and who has certain values. You only want certain kinds of people to be around your kids.

So what if you’re a woman who is dating a man who is a dreamer? Here is this guy who is dreaming away in front of your kids, and you worry that your kids may start to think it’s okay to dream and flounder around until they’re 45 years old.

This is something you need to watch out for when you’re dating, and if you live in Los Angeles — the land of dreamers — you have to REALLY watch out for this. The buses arrive every day full of young screenwriter and film producer hopefuls who will be sucked in by the Hollywood limelight. The problem is that only about one percent of people who come here with that dream actually make it.

You just don’t see this many dreamers anywhere else in the country. If you go to Chicago and meet a banker, he usually really is a banker (and not a wanna-be film actor).

I really feel for the women of Los Angeles. I alway have. I’ve lived here for ten years, and I have always felt like they were getting the short end of the stick.

Then again, a lot of the men in Los Angeles also get the short end of the stick. There are a lot of men in Los Angeles who are stuck meeting women who are dreamers. They are meeting women who want to whisked away to live in a huge house in the Hollywood Hills, have a live-in nanny, and have someone basically take care of their every whim and desire.

If you find yourself dating a lot of dreamers and your kids have been less than enthusiastic about them, then maybe your kids’ instincts about the people you’re dating is right on. Maybe they can’t articulate very well exactly what’s wrong with the people you’re dating, but they know things aren’t right with these people.

A lot of single women tell me, “My kids won’t accept a lot of the guys I bring home to meet them.” Kids may not always be able to articulate themselves perfectly, but they are sometimes very astute when it comes to reading people.

If you listen to a kid tell a story, there is usually no real beginning, middle and end. The story just kind of goes in no particular direction. This is why parents tend to tune out their kids when they start to tell them something.

If your child doesn’t like who you’re dating, though, look deeper into why. Your child may not say to you, “Mommy, I don’t want you dating a dreamer,” but they may be feeling something that doesn’t feel right to them.

Kids are very instinctual. Your child may pick up on some kind of weird energy when that person is talking to you. You never know. So if your child senses something off, it is worth it to see what they might be seeing that you aren’t seeing.

Because there are so many of these dreamers in Los Angeles, I really do feel sorry for the women in Los Angeles who are trying to date and find a good guy. They have much more of a challenge than women living elsewhere.

To the women reading this, how do you feel when you date a guy who is “the perpetual dreamer” — the guy who is constantly relying on new venture after new venture to be “the thing he’s been waiting for?”

And what about all of you guys out there? How do you feel when you’re dating a woman who is a dreamer?

My mom was always a dreamer. She always thought that money would just come to her without her doing anything different. It’s like that book that was out a year or so ago about ‘The Shortcut.’ Guess what? There isn’t one.

You know who I mean — the people who decide they get to tell you how to drive. I’m not talking about people inside of cars honking their horn at other drivers.

I’m talking about really slow people who are walking across the street. This is such a California thing by the way.

I’m going to share a story with you. So this morning I’m driving down the road as I normally do. Actually I was only driving 25 mph on a 30 mph street.

There was a woman walking her dog, slowly crossing the street not at a crosswalk but in the middle of the road. I passed her as she got to the other side of the street, and as I passed her she starts motioning her hand at me with a “slow down” motion.

Really?! Are you kidding me? I wanted to say to her, “You’re the one going too slow. I had to slow down from 25 mph to 20 mph. Stop being the road police. If you weren’t so slow moving, you’d realize that I was going the speed limit.”

As someone who grew up a New Yorker, let me tell you. You do not slowly lolly-gag your way across the middle of a street. You run for your life, because cars will not stop for you.

In California, though, people will just walk across the street like they’re strolling in a park — walking slowly and leisurely across the street. People in California feel that it’s perfectly okay to make the cars driving on those streets stop and wait for them to take their time crossing the street.

If you that In New York, you are dead. If you do that in Chicago, you’re dead. Not in California though. In California, people just stroll across the street and expect cars to stop for them — even if they aren’t crossing the street at a crosswalk.

So the next time you are about to be the road police and you see a car driving the speed limit coming toward you, think for a minute. Could you maybe be walking a little bit too slow?

Instead of giving drivers dirty looks because you think that they should stop for you as you’re crossing the street, think about it from a different perspective. Maybe you should be hustling your lazy ass across the middle of the road or, if you can’t hustle, then wait until there are no cars to cross.

So how does this relate to dating? It’s a great story to tell people.

Guys are always wondering what to talk about on a date. How about talking about the road police? Talk about drivers in your area. Make fun of them.

Have fun with it. Everybody loves a good story. Say, “Oh my God, today I was driving and you wouldn’t believe what I saw…”

Everybody can relate to that. You all related to this topic right now. You all related to everything that I said. You’ve met the road police. It’s just you didn’t know what to call it.

If you’re in New York City and ask someone what they do for a living, the answer will likely be either finance, banking or advertising. If you then ask someone what they do in banking (or finance or advertising), they will tell you exactly what they do and why they are passionate about doing it.

Conversely, if you run into someone in L.A. and ask what they do (or what brought them to L.A.), you will often have someone tell you that they are “in the business.” Really? They’re “in the business?” What business is that?

Are they in the gardening business? I mean, there are a lot of gardeners in L.A. since the weather is nice year-round. Are they in the parks & recreation business (because the parks are open all the time)? Really, about what business are they talking?

In L.A., when people are talking about being in “the business,” they mean the Hollywood business. It’s the ones who aren’t working, though, who will always say “I’m in the business.” What they’re really in the business of is waiting tables.

That’s the definition of a waiter in L.A. When you’re a waiter in LA, you’re actually not waiting tables. You’re waiting to get into “the business.”

So for all those who say they are in “the business,” what do you think they say when asked about exactly what it is they do in the business? They say, “Oh, you know, I’m doing the actor thing.” It’s never just acting – it’s always “the actor thing.”

They call it “the acting thing” because it’s not really something real to them yet. It’s just a thing in which they wish they were actually involved.

L.A. is a really fun town. So the next time you’re in L.A. on vacation and you ask someone what they do for a living, you’ll know how to interpret the answer. If they say they’re “in the business,” you’ll know they are really not in the business.

A lot of my friends are writers. If you ask them what they do for a living, they’ll tell you that they’re a writer. I have friends who are actors. If someone asks them what they do for a living, they will say that they are an actor. My friends who are directors will say they are a director when asked what they do for a living.

Not one of my friends say they do “the writing thing,” “the acting thing” or “the directing thing.” Not one of my friends who are actually “in the business” will ever use that term when referring to what they do for a living.

The real reason why I don’t drink alcohol is because the sugar content in it makes my stomach feel funky the next day. I really don’t like to feel funky because one of my favorite things to do is eat.

Also, the temporary buzz I get from alcohol (which is very temporary) isn’t worth how it makes me feel the next day. If I have a glass of wine, I might feel a little more relaxed for about 12 to 14 minutes. That’s about it. The buzz doesn’t really last that long for me.

The taste of wine is good, but not worth the after effects that I experience. That’s the only reason I don’t drink.

It’s interesting though. There are a lot of people who do drink alcohol, and a lot of people whose personality totally change when they do. Last night we witnessed the annoying change of personality due to booze.

We live on the beach near the fireworks show and all night all we heard was loud drunk obnoxious people who could not handle there booze. They screamed and yelled like a pack of wild 5 year olds on a sugar high.

They lost all concept of manners and this drunken stupor not only sounded awful but you know really is not much fun.

You know how there is the Surgeon General’s warning on packs of cigarettes advising you that smoking is dangerous to your health? Well I’ve always thought there should be a warning label on bottles of booze that says this: “Warning: Consumption of this substance may turn you into an annoying, loud, obnoxious asshole.”

So here’s a tip for all of you who drink . . .

If the day after you drink people tell you that you were really rude, loud or obnoxious the night before, then I think you should stop drinking booze. Remember, you only have one chance to make a first impression.

You may think that you need alcohol to loosen you up when you go to a party. If drinking alcohol turns you into a loud, annoying and obnoxious drunkard, though, then everyone at that party who sees you act that way will think that is what you are like all the time. Even if you are the sweetest and most amazing person otherwise, people will label you loud and obnoxious if that is how they first see you acting.

So how do you get when you drink? I know some people who have a drink, and you’d never know it. My best friend can have ten drinks and talk to everyone in the room, and no one would suspect he’s had a lot to drink.

I’ve met other people who have only one or two drinks, though, and that turns them into a totally different person. Another friend of mine used to have three or four drinks, and Mongo would come out. He’d start drooling a little bit. His words would slur. He became a totally different person.

So start asking your friends how you act when you’re drinking alcohol. Alcohol unfortunately tends to give a lot of people temporary Alzheimer’s where they forget if they were loud, obnoxious and being an asshole.

So it’s time you started looking into your drinking, and finding out what type of person you become when you drink. If you become that annoying person when you drink, you may be turning off a lot of people without realizing it.

The answer is really going to confuse all of you a little bit, because I truly believe the best city for singles is the city that you’re living in right now. It’s all about mindset and attitude when meeting somebody, not about where you live.

It’s all about going out and networking and meeting as many single people as you possibly can, until you find the person you’re most attracted to and the person with whom you most connect. Too many people are all about location. That’s just an excuse.

They say to themselves, “If I lived somewhere else, I’d have no problem meeting someone because I heard that Miami is such a better place to be single than where I live.” In reality, you take yourself wherever you go. So the best city to live in is the one where you live.

When I lived in Boulder, Colorado and I was single, the ratio of men to women was unbelievable. In the year and a half I was living there, though, I had three relationships and had no problem meeting women. Why? I went out and talked to everyone until I found the women to whom I was most attracted.

It’s all about attitude wherever you are. I don’t care if you’re in Washington, D.C. or Toronto, Canada. Everywhere you are is the best place to meet people.

It’s how you conduct your own personal search. What are you doing to conduct your personal search? What are you doing to meet people every single day?

Are you out connecting with people all day long, or are you just sitting back waiting and hoping that you meet somebody? Are you waiting and hoping that you get relocated for your job?

Life is all about mindset and attitude. I practice an abundant mindset so that no matter where I am, it’s the best city to meet people.

You are on a ten hour flight coming back from wherever you’ve been — from a secret location vacation. That’s what I like to call my vacations: secret location vacations. (We had a great time on ours by the way).

So we are nearly at the end of our ten hour flight back to Los Angeles, when the flight attendant becomes just really annoying. Here we are, watching our fourth movie and enjoying it. It was a really great movie called “My Sister’s Keeper,” and we’re getting close to the gut-wrenching end when the poor girl is dying of cancer.

Then, all of a sudden, the movie freezes on the screen as the flight attendant gets on the P.A. system to talk to us about . . . money. Yes, she wanted to announce that they were sending around a bag to collect money for UNICEF.

Now maybe if they had brought around a giant plastic pumpkin — or even one of those orange boxes like we used to use when I was a kid — then I might have given them my leftover change. To pass around a garbage bag, though, is just showing there there is no innovation.

It was also really annoying to have her go into this long speech about UNICEF when I just wanted to see the end of the movie. When the movie final did resume, the pilot gets on the speakers.

Who cares that we are almost there. Just land the plane. Then he gives us a guided tour of what is below us. As I am in a middle row, I can’t possibly see that we’re flying over Vegas.

Then the movie comes back on, except it is interrupted again by one of my favorite things in the world:the welcome to America video. It’s such a wonderful video. It teaches you how to make it through customs as if you are retarded.

Look, I’ve flown into England, Germany and lots of other countries, and nobody else plays a video about what to do when you get there. That’s part of the fun of going — not knowing what to do, what to claim and what to fill out.

The United States, however, has an entire patriotic video. Any of you who work for the government are probably cringing right now because I probably sound very anti-American.

The truth is that I am not anti-American at all. I just do not want to watch these videos . . . especially during a crucial part of the movie I’m trying to finish on the plane.

When they finally put the movie back on again, then the flight attendant comes over and says she wants to put my headphones away before we land in another 20 minutes. I looked at her and said, “No, you’ve already interrupted the move fourteen times.”

So if any of you work for the airlines, please help out and see what you can do about getting rid of those videos. Also, although I don’t mind giving money to causes, do we have to be asked while we’re on a plane?

We already give money everywhere we go. You are at the airport and a Hari Krishna hits you up before you hit the plane. You get off the plane, and some guy in a priest outfit is hitting you up for some type of Catholic school thing.

I mean everywhere you go, people are asking for money. Really, I’d like to see some ingenuity at least from the people asking me for the money. I’d like to see the first bum on the street with a credit card processing machining. That would really impress me. Instead of asking for change, they could tell you that they take PayPal, American Express, Visa and Master Card.

My feelings about airplanes would be different if the airlines offered better things on a plane. It would be different if when you boarded a plane, they asked if you were single and seated you with the other single people. I mean, how many times have you walked down the aisle of the plane toward your seat and thought, “Why aren’t I sitting next to THAT person?!”

You could change seats throughout the flights and get to socialize with lots of different people. They could designate a whole singles section in the back of the plane. It could be like a mini speed dating event in the back five rows.

They could have a section for each group. Singles could hang in the back few rows. Divorced people would sit in rows 3 through 7. Couples would hang out in a section together. There would be a section just for swingers. All all the screaming kids would be put in their own section.

Better yet, why not have an entirely separate plane just for kids. No adults, just the kids. Instead of flight attendants, there would be adult babysitters on the plane. They would walk around the plane serving three kinds of milk: breast, whole and skim. Can you imagine what those flight attendants would look like by the end of each trip? Green pea spit up on their shirts and all sorts of other craziness.

I actually think that singles should have their own plane . . . and even their own airline. On that airline, the cart would go around serving shots, cosmopolitans, martinis and Jaegermeister. Instead of peanuts, they would hand out condoms to each person.

There would be a special place for people to go to hook up and join the mile high club. If you think about it, this is a great idea and actually superior to other ways people meet and hook up.

Think if you were on a ten hour flight and ended up getting laid. Is that so crazy? People hook up all the time after two or three hours of talking to someone in a bar. Ten hours sitting and talking with someone on a plane is a long time to get to know someone. It’s like three dates worth of conversation smushed together into one trip.

On the singles airline, if you get laid on the flight you would earn triple miles. just think, three trips to Europe getting laid on each one and you’re executive platinum status. If you think executive platinum has benefits on American, on our airline you get your own waterbed in the back complete with a Hugh Hefner silk robe. Talk about priority seating. . .

This singles airline concept would definitely save the airline industry a lot better than collecting for UNICEF.