What is it about airplanes? Why are they so annoying now?
You are on a ten hour flight coming back from wherever you’ve been — from a secret location vacation. That’s what I like to call my vacations: secret location vacations. (We had a great time on ours by the way).
So we are nearly at the end of our ten hour flight back to Los Angeles, when the flight attendant becomes just really annoying. Here we are, watching our fourth movie and enjoying it. It was a really great movie called “My Sister’s Keeper,” and we’re getting close to the gut-wrenching end when the poor girl is dying of cancer.
Then, all of a sudden, the movie freezes on the screen as the flight attendant gets on the P.A. system to talk to us about . . . money. Yes, she wanted to announce that they were sending around a bag to collect money for UNICEF.
Now maybe if they had brought around a giant plastic pumpkin — or even one of those orange boxes like we used to use when I was a kid — then I might have given them my leftover change. To pass around a garbage bag, though, is just showing there there is no innovation.
It was also really annoying to have her go into this long speech about UNICEF when I just wanted to see the end of the movie. When the movie final did resume, the pilot gets on the speakers.
Who cares that we are almost there. Just land the plane. Then he gives us a guided tour of what is below us. As I am in a middle row, I can’t possibly see that we’re flying over Vegas.
Then the movie comes back on, except it is interrupted again by one of my favorite things in the world:the welcome to America video. It’s such a wonderful video. It teaches you how to make it through customs as if you are retarded.
Look, I’ve flown into England, Germany and lots of other countries, and nobody else plays a video about what to do when you get there. That’s part of the fun of going — not knowing what to do, what to claim and what to fill out.
The United States, however, has an entire patriotic video. Any of you who work for the government are probably cringing right now because I probably sound very anti-American.
The truth is that I am not anti-American at all. I just do not want to watch these videos . . . especially during a crucial part of the movie I’m trying to finish on the plane.
When they finally put the movie back on again, then the flight attendant comes over and says she wants to put my headphones away before we land in another 20 minutes. I looked at her and said, “No, you’ve already interrupted the move fourteen times.”
So if any of you work for the airlines, please help out and see what you can do about getting rid of those videos. Also, although I don’t mind giving money to causes, do we have to be asked while we’re on a plane?
We already give money everywhere we go. You are at the airport and a Hari Krishna hits you up before you hit the plane. You get off the plane, and some guy in a priest outfit is hitting you up for some type of Catholic school thing.
I mean everywhere you go, people are asking for money. Really, I’d like to see some ingenuity at least from the people asking me for the money. I’d like to see the first bum on the street with a credit card processing machining. That would really impress me. Instead of asking for change, they could tell you that they take PayPal, American Express, Visa and Master Card.
My feelings about airplanes would be different if the airlines offered better things on a plane. It would be different if when you boarded a plane, they asked if you were single and seated you with the other single people. I mean, how many times have you walked down the aisle of the plane toward your seat and thought, “Why aren’t I sitting next to THAT person?!”
You could change seats throughout the flights and get to socialize with lots of different people. They could designate a whole singles section in the back of the plane. It could be like a mini speed dating event in the back five rows.
They could have a section for each group. Singles could hang in the back few rows. Divorced people would sit in rows 3 through 7. Couples would hang out in a section together. There would be a section just for swingers. All all the screaming kids would be put in their own section.
Better yet, why not have an entirely separate plane just for kids. No adults, just the kids. Instead of flight attendants, there would be adult babysitters on the plane. They would walk around the plane serving three kinds of milk: breast, whole and skim. Can you imagine what those flight attendants would look like by the end of each trip? Green pea spit up on their shirts and all sorts of other craziness.
I actually think that singles should have their own plane . . . and even their own airline. On that airline, the cart would go around serving shots, cosmopolitans, martinis and Jaegermeister. Instead of peanuts, they would hand out condoms to each person.
There would be a special place for people to go to hook up and join the mile high club. If you think about it, this is a great idea and actually superior to other ways people meet and hook up.
Think if you were on a ten hour flight and ended up getting laid. Is that so crazy? People hook up all the time after two or three hours of talking to someone in a bar. Ten hours sitting and talking with someone on a plane is a long time to get to know someone. It’s like three dates worth of conversation smushed together into one trip.
On the singles airline, if you get laid on the flight you would earn triple miles. just think, three trips to Europe getting laid on each one and you’re executive platinum status. If you think executive platinum has benefits on American, on our airline you get your own waterbed in the back complete with a Hugh Hefner silk robe. Talk about priority seating. . .
This singles airline concept would definitely save the airline industry a lot better than collecting for UNICEF.
I get emails all the time from people who tell me how rotten their life is because they cannot meet people. My response is always, “That’s easy to fix! Try driving in L.A. traffic. You can’t do a thing about that.”
Los Angeles is a combination of a lot of things: sunshine, overpopulation . . . and the worst drivers you’ve ever seen. Overpopulation breeds bad drivers, because when you far too many people living in a small area you are bound to get a collection of the world’s worst drivers
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Los Angeles is not actually a tiny area, but it feels like it is because you can’t get anywhere. It’s like an old movie with not-so-great special effects where the people traveling in cars pass by the same scenery over and over again. That’s what it’s like living in Los Angeles.
Everyone who lives in Los Angeles has a driving horror story. Mine? One time it took me 2½ hours to get to a Lakers game. To give you an idea how close I lived to the arena, it took me only seventeen minutes to get home. To put this in perspective, when I lived in Colorado I could drive 170 miles in 2½ hours.
So, anyone who is complaining about not being able to approach members of the opposite sex needs to come to Los Angeles and get behind the wheel of a car. You’ll never see approaching as being frustrating and intimidating ever again!
People will tell you that to deal with L.A. traffic, all you need is good music and a cell phone. I’m thinking that instead of good music and a cell phone, you really need a bullhorn and a shotgun, because I really like kick back on the sofa listening to music to relax. As for talking on my cell phone, I really don’t want to talk on the phone while I am screaming at people in traffic.
You have approach anxiety? No problem! I’ll tell you what. If I can figure out how to get through L.A. traffic, I’ll show you in five minutes how to meet members of the opposite sex.
Whenever I end a conversation – no matter with whom it is, from a woman I met at a party to the person bagging my groceries at Whole Foods – I always say to them, “See you soon.”
It’s a great thing to say. It’s a much more personal and friendly way to say goodbye. Most people will just say, “Bye,” and that’s fine, but there’s no personal connection about it. Saying “See you soon” implants in the person’s mind that you might actually see them again in the future. (more…)
Coaching is not a miracle. There is no miracle out there. Miracle drugs, diets and solutions are really just quick-fix illusions, like that grilled cheese sandwich in 2004 that had the image of the Virgin Mary burned into it. Someone paid $28,000 on eBay for that! Seriously, I’m not making this shit up! (link the last two words of this sentence with http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4034787.stm)
The point of life is realizing every single day that life itself is actually a miracle.
To get really Zen in your thinking, you need to accept everything that comes into your life and learn from the lessons you are presented with. You need to embrace those lessons and move forward.
It’s important to realize that when you receive coaching of any kind – whether it is a dating bootcamp or coaching on a physical sport – you have to practice.
Think about yoga. Yoga is practice, right? Why is yoga called practice? Because you’ll never be good at it unless you practice. And there is always room for improvement; there is always something new to learn.
I’ve been doing yoga for three years, and while I’m much better now than I was when I started, I’m still not as good as I’m going to be. Even when I get to the point where I’m really good, I’m still going to have to improve and get somewhere else.
That’s what life is about: a constant evolution, trying to get somewhere. And more important than this evolution is your acceptance of it. The more you accept, the more you will evolve. This is where that Zen-like feeling comes in, which we all want to feel, right? (more…)
As I was reading a comment from Mike on yesterday’s blog, I realized something. Men just don’t really talk about how they feel very much.
I really don’t share things like this with you guys too often, but I want to tell you that every morning I wake up and I thank the universe. I thank the world for letting me be a part of it. I’m really appreciative of all the things in my life.
Every morning when I walk Daphne on the beach, it gives me a moment to reflect. It’s funny how you reflect in the morning when you’re so tired, but I do it every morning. I stand on the beach and think about how life is so great.
I think how happy my dog is as I watch her run, hang out and play on the beach. I look at the water and I watch the waves break. I look toward Malibu and the Venice pier, and I see the mountains and the pier, and all I can think is how the morning is so beautiful.
I think about my girlfriend downstairs in our room getting ready for work, and I thank the universe for putting me together with her. I thank her for the love that we share. Every morning I thank the universe for everyone who is in my life.
Now as I’m sitting in my office writing this blog looking at the view from my office of the mountains and the ocean, I think of the Louis Armstrong song “What A Wonderful World” . . . because it really is wonderful. Every day I wake up and I thank the universe for allowing me to be a part of this incredible journey called life.
For what are all of you thankful every day? Do you wake up feeling positive? Do you wake up really embracing life? Do you wake up thanking the universe? If you do, amazing things will happen to you every single day.
Concentrate on the good. Thank the world for being the amazing place it is every day. Do these things, and you’ll see everything change in your life.
I am going to end this blog from a quote from a friend of mine.
As Wayne Dyer always says.
“When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change”
Todays video is for the women readers. Do you want to know just how simple it is to get men to approach you? Not the annoying men but the right kind of men.
It’s interesting, because a lot of men – and I’m talking about MEN, I’m not talking about boys. As little boys, we used to look at girls and we used to rate them on a number system.
I remember being like 11 years old, and we’d look at women – well, at that time, girls – and go, “man, she’s cute, what would you rate her?” “Oh, she’s like a 6.8,” or “she’s like a 7.5.”
The problem is that any man over the age of, really, 22 should no longer be rating women on a number scale. The number system is just really ridiculous. Why are you rating a woman on a number? Really, it’s arbitrary anyway, because my 10 could be your 3. Your 3 could be my 7, your 6 could be my 6.18, and your 2.87 could be my 3.14 – wait, isn’t that Pi? (more…)
Its Saturday and we are having a great bootcamp. One guy already had this amazing breakthrough, he was so shy when he flew here yesterday and last night he was able to approach any woman he saw.
Its awesome when I see someone transform and really break through their fears.
Today’s blog is something we go over in all the bootcamps.
Also check out the bootcamp schedule on the home page. Only 3 more left this year!
I’m all about creating positive energy wherever I go, because to me, life is a party. If you’re not going to go out there and enjoy every single moment of every single day, then you are just wasting your time. (more…)
Here is the second part of a discussion we had a recent weekend bootcamp. This will give you a good idea about what my bootcamps are like!
Josh: I felt like we were doing pretty well with the women from the triathlon. There was one woman that I had a really good connection with, and I was about ready to ask her for her number, but then they left.
If I saw her again, what would you do to keep the conversation going the second time? How would you follow up? (more…)
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