I want you to look around your house, and I want you to ask yourself: if my dream girl came over today, would this house represent who I am?  Is this furniture a statement of who I am? Is the artwork that’s on the wall a statement of who I am?

Is the lawn furniture in the living room a statement of who you are? (Those are for those of you that never really decided to get a couch.) Does your bathroom resemble who you are? Does your bedroom resemble who you are? Do some of you live in a place that you used to live with your ex, and all her stuff is still around because you were too lazy to get rid of it?

Where you live represents very much who you are. Are you living in a neighborhood that represents who you are? Are there enough things to do in your neighborhood that keep you busy? Are there enough people like yourself that you can meet? Is there a market that you go to in your neighborhood that you really enjoy?  Does your neighborhood represent who you are?

Does your city represent who you are?  Do you enjoy where you live?  Are you proud to say you live in that area?  Does it represent the lifestyle that you want?  Is it the climate that you want?  I want you to take a look at where you live today, and I want you to ask yourself: is this where I want to be? Am I around people that I want to meet? Am I living in an area that I’m proud of? Am I living in an area that I really enjoy?

If the answers are too often “no”, then I encourage you to move to an area that inspires answers that are more often “yes”.

Being really happy with where you live and living in a place that really represents who you are as a person, is a big step in meeting like-minded people that you can date and enjoy.   So look around your surrounding and ask yourself: do I live in a shantytown with people that I do not connect with or do I live in the place of my dreams? Your choice.

A real man walks over to a woman in whom he is interested. He gets to know her. He realizes that he is a catch. If he finds something attractive about her, then he asks her out and gets her phone number.

A real man will call her up the very next day (or even maybe that night) and set up a date with her, because he wants to get to know her. A real man doesn’t hesitate.

A real man makes decisions. Even when a decision takes time to make, once a real man makes that decision he sticks to it and stands behind it. I know sometimes it takes me a month or two to make a decision on certain important issues in my life, but once I make a decision I never waiver backwards.

I never think to myself, did I make the right decision? Is this the right decision? Should I have gone the other direction?

Sometimes it takes me two months to just buy a car. Once I buy that car, though, I know I’ve made the right decision and I don’t look back.

Sometimes it takes me three months to process something personal that’s going on in my life. Once I make a decision about it , though, I move forward and stick with that decision. I don’t go back and think about the other options I was considering.

A real man walks into a room and smiles. A real man walks into that room and talks to people that he finds interesting.

A real man walks through life knowing that he’s a success. A real man takes risks — business, personal, and everything else. He realized that even when he fails, it’s a lesson that he needed to learn and he embraces it.

A real man does not blame anybody for anything that he’s done, and just accepts things as they come along. More importantly, a real man protects the people that he loves, and is loyal to everybody that he loves.

A real man is loyal to his family. A real man steps up for his kids, his wife, his friends. He never leaves them hanging.

A real man picks up the phone when a friend is in need. A real man picks a friend up when he is in need.

This is what I feel a real man is like. Are you a real man?

I love my demons. It’s interesting, because to me living in the moment is the only way to go.

The only thing that really means anything is right now. Right now as I’m writing this blog, I’m staring at the mountains and the beach, and I’m thirsty. That’s all I’m feeling right now.

Maybe I’ll have other thoughts that come in later. When my girlfriend comes home, I’ll think about what I want to do.

You need to dial into that, and realize you won’t truly know what you want to do until you’re in the moment. You could try to plan things out, thinking maybe you want to grab dinner or have great sex, but you don’t know what’s going to happen later on.

So the only thing we have is the moment. If the phone rings and I answer it, then a new moment is created, and when I decide to pick up the phone then I will give that person 100% of my attention in that moment.

It’s really important for all of you to understand that the moment is all we have. When you’re out on a date, the only thing that you have right there in that moment is you and that person looking into each other’s eyes and talking.

If you think about how the date is going to end or how you want the date to end, then you’re not present in the moment. If you’re thinking about what happened with your last relationship, then you’re not present in the moment.

Another thing about living in the moment and processing it, is if something bothers you then you need to spit it out right at that moment. You can’t sit there arguing with your boyfriend or girlfriend and having it not feel right because you have something to say.

If you feel you need to take time to think something through and process it, then that’s fine. If you feel something in the moment that you want to share, though, don’t bury it.

Living in the moment to me means being able to say what’s on your mind 24/7, being able to stay connected to where you’re at, and being open to everything that’s presented to you at that time. It means being able to do all that without letting your mind wander and think.

How many of you have trouble staying present in the moment?

During my typical lunch, I talk to everybody – waiters, busboys, hostesses, everybody. I get to know each of them as they walk over to my table. I find out who they are and what they’re all about.

I connect with each of them in some way. The reason why I am able to do that, is because I say what’s on my mind.

For instance, I was sitting with my dog Daphne in the outdoor cafe area at a California Pizza Kitchen restaurant recently. I have sat in the outdoor cafe with Daphne about a thousand times before without any problem.

The manager comes over to my table and says that dogs aren’t allowed in the restaurant. I said “No problem, but how about on the other side where the public benches are located?” The manager said, “No, dogs aren’t allowed anywhere in the restaurant complex.”

I explained to the manager that my dog had been allowed in that outdoor area for the last five years, and that even the owner (whom I have met) has never said anything about it. She wouldn’t budge, and did not allow me to sit there with Daphne.

I guess she is somebody who is very stringent about the rules. She is all about the rules.

A lot of people will not break rules – ever. They believe that rules are set to be abided by no matter what.

In this situation at the restaurant, a lot of people would get frustrated dealing with that woman. I don’t get frustrated with her, and with people like that.

I basically dismiss people like that. They are not the kind of person I want to talk to again. They are uptight, and not someone who resonates with me.

What I did, though, was use that moment to bond with someone else at the restaurant. A waitress walked by and asked me where my dog went, and I said “Your uptight manager . . . (and told the story) . . . She must be awful to work for.” The waitress started laughing.

So what I did there was to say things that people are already thinking. I say what’s on my mind. When you say what’s on your mind, there is a good chance it’s on someone else’s mind as well.

I also comment on what people are doing. I pick up on the obvious, and I connect with people that way.

People love when someone says what they themselves were thinking. People like to talk about the things about which nobody else would talk.

Why don’t most people talk about these things? It’s because we monitor ourselves 24/7. We’re always thinking about what to say, instead of just reacting to someone.

If you would just react to people when they speak, you would never run out of things to say in a conversation. The conversation will always flow, and will be fun, different and interesting.

When I told the waitress how I thought the manager was uptight, the waitress was probably thinking “Oh my God, she IS so uptight!” I bonded with her just by saying that.

You can always bond with people over the obvious. You repel people by talking about the non-obvious.

We will give ourselves permission to think, though, so we basically spend a lot of time just thinking about what to say. We walk through life thinking to ourselves “What should I say?” instead of just observing and making comments about what we see.

Give yourself permission to say whatever is on your mind. That is something I tell people all the time. I tell them to spend a day just making comments about whatever they see, whatever they feel and how others makes them feel.

If you see somebody with a kid who is absolutely adorable, walk right over to them and say “Oh my God, that kid is so cute!” Give yourself permission to speak from your heart. Give yourself permission to feel.

Give yourself permission to express yourself. We’re all very expressive people. We really are. We all have a lot to say. If you spend time with somebody and give them permission, they’ll talk to you all day and all night long.

What if you were hanging out with a friend, and your friend said “Hey man, I want to get to know you. I want you to tell me everything about you. I’m so interested in you.” How would that make you feel?

That would make you feel fantastic. It would also make you feel alive. So the next time you see somebody, give yourself permission to say whatever is on your mind.

I was in Whole Foods just now, and I saw this woman I used to see all the time with her (now much older-looking) son. I said, “I haven’t seen you in forever. I haven’t lived in Brentwood in a long time. Your kid got big. The last time I saw him he was in a stroller.” Then I said to the kid, “How old are you now?” The kid told me he was five years old, and was very proud to tell me.

I say what’s on my mind and I say what I feel, because people can tell that I’m being authentic. People can see I’m being real.

This is what I mean by giving yourself permission. When you start exuding this kind of authentic and positive body language, people will receive it and take it in.

They will see that you’re not saying something just for the sake of saying it, but that it’s actually coming from your heart. When you say something from your heart and it’s authentic, people will respond to you.

So try this today. Say what’s on your mind. Say what you feel, and watch how people respond to you.

Of course, you also need to listen carefully to what people say back to you. Once you do that, you’ll know exactly what to say next.

If you ever wonder or worry about “what to say next,” you need to CLICK HERE and read this.

As a matter of fact, I am going to call Apple, and I’m going to get this thing done.
It’s an app that is called “Lower Your Standards Time!”

Picture it. It’s 1:00 am and you’re standing in a bar. You’re drunk. All of a sudden your phone starts going crazy — beeping and vibrating. You look at it, and it says “It’s Lower Your Standards Time!”

“Look, there’s a drunk girl leaning against the bar right now. She just made out with a random guy in the corner. It’s time for you to go over there and get her number. It’s time to lower your standards!”

It is hilarious what we do at 1:00 am. It’s almost like we’re one of Pavlov’s dogs.

It is 1:00 am and you haven’t been successful all night long, so you automatically lower your standards and go for whoever you can possibly get so you can validate yourself that night.

Why? You do it so you can tell your friends you got a phone number. You, however, never tell your friends that it’s the phone number of a woman who was drunk, vomiting at the bar and won’t even remember who you are when you call her.

So, really, I think you know where I’m going with this. Why ever lower your standards?

The only reason why you ever lower your standards is because you don’t have the balls to talk to women to whom you are attracted. You get all full of panic because your ego wants something.

Your ego desires to get a phone number. It validates you that you actually could do something — even if it’s something that totally lowers your standards.

So, you know what? I’m going to have you download this new “Lower Your Standards” app from Apple. That way you can always kid yourself and think that you’re more successful than you really are.

The other option is for you to get on the ball and really start to meet the women to whom you are most attracted. Which option seems better?

CLICK HERE to find out the one way to never again be stuck settling and lowering your standards — and to always CHOOSE the women you want to meet.

Apparently when a friend of his was on the verge of losing his home, my friend loaned him a decent amount of money. When I asked my friend if the guy ever paid him any of the money back, he said he had only received about $150.00 of it. The friend never brings it up.

I asked what kind of person the guy is who borrowed the money. My friend said, “He’s one of those guys who preaches an abundant spirituality and the law of attraction.”

I started laughing. I said, “That’s really interesting. He borrows money that he never pays back, but yet he preaches abundance and the law of attraction. He basically preaches everything he isn’t.”

This is something that a lot of people do. They preach what they’re not, because it is what they want to be.

You’ll have a person who talks about spirituality and the law of attraction. They’ll preach about how doing good deeds comes back to you ten-fold. Yet they will be the person who, when you look deep into their character, don’t follow this at all.

They will be the person who doesn’t pay you back if you lend them money. They are the person who keeps score every time they do something for someone else.

You need to really listen to what your message is to others. What is the message you preach to the world and tell people you are all about, and what is the message you actually follow? Do you follow what you preach in your life, or are you just preaching to everybody because you so desperately want to be that person? I tell people all the time to stop the outward preaching and start the inner work.

There is one other lesson to be learned from my friend’s situation: Never lend money to friends or family. If a friend or family member asks you for money, you tell them “I don’t lend money to people but, because I love you, I will give you this money and I don’t ever expect you to pay me back.”

The second you lend money to a friend or a family member, it changes the dynamics of the relationship. So often, people take advantage of other people’s good nature and never pay money back. This ends a lot of those relationships.

How would you feel if you were the president of your local coffee shop or of your local Whole Foods?

Imagine being able to walk into any bar or being able to go into any party, and you are the person that everybody wants to get to know . . . all before you even utter a word.

If all of this sounds good to you, then today’s podcast is all about you.

You need to listen to me and my coach Adam from London as we walk you through a very emotional journey.

We will show you how to command attention wherever you go.

You’ll know exactly how to turn on that charm and charisma in every situation, and before you even speak to anybody.

That’s all I’m going to say about it. See you guys on the podcast!

Listen live now:

Click Here To Download The Podcast!

When it comes to asking a woman out on a date, you ask once or maybe twice and that’s it. There are other areas of life, however, where it behooves you to become a pain in the ass.

Let me give you an example. I live in a building that has tandem parking and parking spots that are very close together.

My neighbors are inconsiderate and rude. Whenever they get out of their cars with grocery bags, they do the pinball maneuver in between our cars and scratch the side of my car. This really angers me because I am very respectful of other people’s things.

I would never open my car door and let it hit and mark up a car next to me. I also would never set my keys or my shopping bag on someone else’s car and scratch their paint so they have to spend a couple hundred dollars to color sand their car. That’s just not me.

So I’ve been trying to get the management company to move me into the big garage (which is reserved for people who live in the bigger apartments). There are four big apartments, and the people who live in them get the four good spots in the big garage.

So I’ve been asking for a new parking spot nonstop for a year. I call the management office, ask the woman on the phone about her day and then say, “Where’s my new parking spot?” Finally, as a result of my consistent badgering (or what like to call “persuasive talking”), I am going to get a new spot so my car will no longer be scratched. Now someone else will have my spot and get their car scratched for a while.

In life, you need to be really persistent in everything you do. Don’t ask for something once, and don’t expect someone to get back to you. Don’t ever expect anything.

You need to take a stand for anything you want in life. So the next time you don’t get want you want — whether it’s in business or in your personal life — take a stand for it.

If you’re dating online and you emailed a woman a month or two ago who didn’t respond to you, find her again online and send her another email. Now don’t send an email every day, because even persistence needs to be spaced out properly.

In my example with the car, I wasn’t calling every single day. That crosses the line from persistence into pestering. Pestering just drives people crazy.

A friendly reminder or call about something once a week or every couple weeks, however, is what makes people successful. Persistence is what you need to succeed in life.

Life is only as powerful as your network. Without the right network, however, you may never get to where you desire to go and what you desire to become.

Let’s dive deeper into your life. In today’s podcast, I talk about how to create a successful plan for your
life – and not just for your dating life.

I also have special guest on in today’s podcast who talks about his network and how he “spread the love” to achieve greater success in his life.

To listen to today’s podcast, click here:

If this kind of plan sounds great to you, and you want to create your own personalized plan, then CLICK HERE if you are a man or CLICK HERE if you are a woman and I’ll tell you exactly how to do that step-by-step.