Last night, I recorded a great talk with Obi about how quickly the year is flying by and how important it is to really get clear about what you want to accomplish.

We came to the conclusion that most people allow the year to fly right by them because they are afraid of really going deep into themselves and asking those important questions:

What do I really want?

How can I do more amazing sh*t?

How do I become the person that attracts the relationships that I deserve?

When I sat down to write my new book, Naked, I realized that I was writing to a very diverse audience. Some of you live on the coast, some of you live in the middle of the country. Some of you live in Europe, some of you live in Japan. But all of us have very different lives and we have different choices to make every single day on how we’re going to live our lives.

Some of us love consistency, like waking up at the crack of dawn everyday. We like to have the same exact food every single morning. Or going for the same walk, and then we take our nap at the same exact time every day. At night we like to go to bed at the same time after we watch our favorite Sesame Street or Sponge Bob show.

And then, some of you thrive on inconsistency. You prefer to go with the flow, or with how you’re feeling in the moment.

You’ve got to realize what your consistencies and your inconsistencies are because you’ll need to find somebody that will be able to embrace the way in which you choose to live your life. If you’re someone who consistently lives your life by a schedule, then you can’t be with somebody like me who loves inconsistency.

I like to wake up at different times every single day. I like to start my day off differently every single day. I don’t really enjoy my life when it’s the same every single day. I don’t like to go on the same vacations at the same time each year. I like to go for a beach vacation one month and then, six months later, go on a city vacation.

And when I sat down to write Naked I realized that there’s no way in the world that people will ever be able to meet their perfect match if they don’t know about their consistencies and inconsistencies. There’s no way in the world they’ll be able to do it or figure it out. Because what happens in life and who you meet is a reflection of how you conduct your life.

So let’s think today. Are you a consistent person or an inconsistent person? When it comes down to all your mannerisms in life, do you fully embrace and love every single one of them? Are there things that you would like to change? It is very important.

Before you go and go out and date people, figure out who you are first; that’s what’s really important.

And I also want you to buy my book Naked on Amazon and write a review when you’re done. That’s super important too.

I want you to look around your house, and I want you to ask yourself: if my dream girl came over today, would this house represent who I am?  Is this furniture a statement of who I am? Is the artwork that’s on the wall a statement of who I am?

Is the lawn furniture in the living room a statement of who you are? (Those are for those of you that never really decided to get a couch.) Does your bathroom resemble who you are? Does your bedroom resemble who you are? Do some of you live in a place that you used to live with your ex, and all her stuff is still around because you were too lazy to get rid of it?

Where you live represents very much who you are. Are you living in a neighborhood that represents who you are? Are there enough things to do in your neighborhood that keep you busy? Are there enough people like yourself that you can meet? Is there a market that you go to in your neighborhood that you really enjoy?  Does your neighborhood represent who you are?

Does your city represent who you are?  Do you enjoy where you live?  Are you proud to say you live in that area?  Does it represent the lifestyle that you want?  Is it the climate that you want?  I want you to take a look at where you live today, and I want you to ask yourself: is this where I want to be? Am I around people that I want to meet? Am I living in an area that I’m proud of? Am I living in an area that I really enjoy?

If the answers are too often “no”, then I encourage you to move to an area that inspires answers that are more often “yes”.

Being really happy with where you live and living in a place that really represents who you are as a person, is a big step in meeting like-minded people that you can date and enjoy.   So look around your surrounding and ask yourself: do I live in a shantytown with people that I do not connect with or do I live in the place of my dreams? Your choice.

I’m not a Broncos fan, I’m a Jets fan. So I’m sitting here watching the game with four minutes and 30 seconds to go. They are losing 10 to nothing.

I’m thinking to myself, “There’s no way that Tebow’s going to do it again. He looks awful. I mean I have been a football fan my entire adult life–actually since I was a little kid–and I’ve never seen a quarterback play so bad for so long with the game on the line.”

And then all of a sudden, just like the hottest woman standing at the bar at 1:00 in the morning after getting hit on by countless drunken idiot guys for the past four hours, Tebow makes it happen, swoops the girl out of the bar and brings her home.

Well, we all know Tebow’s a religious freak, so we know that wouldn’t happen in real life. But with four minutes to go, he did it again. And the football Gods definitely had it up for the Broncos. Marion Barber looked like he was going to run for a 40 yard touchdown run in overtime and he dropped the ball. The Broncos picked it up, Tebow turned it around in range for the Broncos to kick the winning field goal.

A woman standing at the bar bored at 1:00 at night, all of a sudden a guy seems to come out of nowhere, win her over, and leave with her for the night.
So what does that guy have that you don’t have?

He’s got the belief system that he can go and meet any woman, any place, at any time. He’s worked on his fundamentals, his observation skill, learning how to start a real conversation out of thin air, learning his environment, the art of communication, having balls and owning his words, not thinking about an opener, but just opening her based on whatever he felt like saying at that moment.

He’s worked on all the fundamentals, because he knows that’s all he needs. When you work on the fundamentals, you know you can have a Tebow moment at the end of the game.
But most guys refuse to work on fundamentals and instead they want the shortcut. They want to be able to swallow something clever and go up to talk to any woman at any place at any time based on what they memorized the night before, and say the same things over and over and over again to every woman.

It doesn’t work, guys. Anything in life that you’ve ever worked for–anybody who’s ever been successful in life has been successful because they’ve been willing to work on all the fundamentals that it requires to be successful.

There are no shortcuts, because life is fundamentals. Unlock your inner Tebow and let’s see if you can get your ass over to that girl at the end of the bar.

Well, when it comes down to dating, we don’t trust our guts at all. All of the sudden we see someone who we’re attracted to, we want to talk to them and we come up with something clever or relevant to say. But then we don’t trust our guts. We don’t act upon it, we don’t pull the trigger.

Are you dating somebody right now, but it doesn’t feel right so you have to ask all your friends and get their opinions on it first? We don’t listen to our own gut to tell us what to do. We can’t make our own decision. We have to listen to 10 other people’s opinions and get advice from all over the place. Even from the internet.

It’s funny. With all of our basic and primal needs, we trust our gut because we have to. And guess what? It always seems to work out every day. For those of you with irregular bowel movements, sometimes you can only trust your gut on Metamucil. But you get the point. It’s really time you started trusting your gut. There are a lot of areas where advice and second opinion helps. But a lot of things you can actually figure out for yourself, you just have to dig deep.

It’s time that you actually started acting upon what you want for yourself, and it’s time that you stopped asking all of these different people what they want for you.

“David, that’s my 3:30, man. He’s going to tell me he’s stuck in traffic.”

He picked up the phone. Sure enough, it was his 3:30 appointment. The guy was stuck in traffic.

10 minutes later, the phone rang again. He looks at the caller ID, he goes, “Oh this chick, Sharon, she always cancels on me last minute. I’ll bet you she’s going to cancel.”

Sure enough, she was calling to cancel the appointment. He looked at me and he said, “David, do these people actually think we’re buying their excuses? Do these people think that we were born yesterday?”

That got me thinking: the older you get, the more you’ve seen, the more you’ve experienced and the more you realize there’s so much bullshit going on out there. You know the only reason why people are late is because they didn’t leave early enough. That’s the only reason why I’m ever late.

Do You Date Late

My entire life, the reason why I’ve ever been late to any appointment is because I did not leave early enough. If I just left five minutes earlier, if I just didn’t try to squeeze in one more e-mail in or take one more phone call, I would have arrived on time. So when I give somebody an excuse like it’s traffic, or there was a line at the grocery store, or whatever the excuse is, it’s bullshit.

The reason I was late is because I didn’t leave early enough, which really comes down to what I’m talking about here in today’s blog. Look at the bullshit you throw out there every single day. Look at all the bullshit you throw out there. People aren’t really buying it. You may think they’re buying it, or you may want to believe they’re buying it, but in reality they’re not. So why not be a little more honest?

“Hey Mr. Barber, you know, the reason why I’m late today is because I didn’t leave home early enough. You see I didn’t respect your time as much as I should have, and because I didn’t respect your time, I’m arriving late. And because I’m arriving late, all your other appointments for the day behind me are going to be late.”

Doctors should know all about this. Go to a doctor’s office and the doctor will tell you, “Oh sorry for being late, it’s just that I had this call I had to be on.” It’s bullshit. The reason why doctors are late is because their patients show up late for their appointments too.

Shogo was supposed to edit this blog and send it to me 2 hours ago. Where were you Shogo? On a client call? Bullshit.

Really enjoy it.

So many words that are so powerful, but yet there are words that need to be eliminated.

Here’s the one three-letter word that needs to be eliminated in every single person’s vocabulary — are you ready?

“But.”

That’s lip service, man. I am so sick of hearing that. Hey, go talk to that woman… But, I can’t right now. Hey, man, I want you to go out and get a date this week. But, I can’t. Hey, I want you to go to the gym right now and go lose some weight. But is such an excuse.

Get Your Butt Out Of Dating

Don’t ever use the word but for anything. There is no but anywhere except for the butt that you sit on. But is basically you quitting before you even started. Eliminate it and you’ll see how much easier life is for you.

Actually on that same flight to Toronto last week, I sat right next to John McEnroe, and I did nothing about it.

So I get on the plane, and I’m sitting in front of Mr. Name Dropper. This guy sat down. Another guy sat down next to him in the seat, and for the next 15 minutes before we took off, the guy proceeded to name drop. “Randy Jackson is his good friend.” Steven Tyler: he’s not sure is going to re-up for American Idol.

“Did I tell you about my girlfriend, she’s much younger than me?” “My girlfriend who’s much younger than me.” He said it like five or six times to the poor guy sitting next to him. He talked about his days when he used to write music and manage all these different people. He must have dropped 70 names in the span of 15 minutes.

Are You Dating A Name Dropper?

So I turned around and pretended to be interested. And then I did the old trick when you were a little kid: “Psych!” I looked directly at him, and looked down, and didn’t even acknowledge him at all. And of course when the plane landed, I didn’t realize John McEnroe was sitting next to me—across from me actually.

Mr. Name Dropper then looked at John and goes “John, how you doing?” John goes great. He goes what are you in Toronto for. Mr. Name Dropper said, “Ah, the old guys are playing tennis. Man, I love the old guys. Did I tell you about how I had lunch with Agassi one time?”

He name dropped McEnroe!

Name droppers are hilarious. Who cares who you know? Who cares who you’re friends with? Who cares if you have a younger girlfriend? Why do people feel the need to torture total strangers with useless information? Are we supposed to walk away impressed? Are we supposed to get off that plane and go, “Oh my God, I sat next to a guy who’s friends with Randy Jackson?” Who cares?

I sat next to a man who had really bad breath, and didn’t speak one word, and had five drinks. Is he friends with the Heineken company? Does he know the owner of Jack Daniels? Because apparently the way he was drinking it seemed like he was best friends with them.

If you’re a namedropper, impress with who you are and not who you know.

If I could only go back to that night and speak to that woman that I was attracted to.

If I only got her phone number. If I only gave him my phone number.

If I only took that job and not this one.

We love to play the Game of If. The problem is in life, you really can’t play the Game of If because If will never happen.

We spend a lot of time playing the Game of If. We spend a lot of time thinking about the Game of If. But in reality, all we have is our choices. We made that decision to choose whatever we chose at that moment. We didn’t get that phone number due to whatever issues we had inside our head. We took another job because we didn’t take this other job and if we took the other job, we would have been rich, but we’re not.

Don’t play the Game of If, because you can do that with every decision you make. Learn from the Game of If. Learn from some of the If mistakes so that way you don’t repeat them, so you don’t have to say, if I only told her how I really felt that night, I wouldn’t be in this situation. If I only took that job. How about the next time a situation of If comes up, you think back? You need to think through the decision, and you start trusting yourself a little bit more.

Dating Is A Game

I found that when we play the Game of If, we’re doing so because we don’t trust ourselves 100 percent in a situation. We don’t listen to our gut and what our gut is really telling us. So we throw the towel down in there and we play that Game of If.

Let’s eliminate the Game of If from all our lives. When you listen to your gut, and stick with it, you’ll feel 100 percent comfortable because you won’t backtrack, dwell and obsess over the decision, and it won’t matter how it works out.

Whenever people tell me they’re in pain.

Or they feel like the world’s coming apart.

I always tell them everything happens for a reason.

There’s a lesson in everything.

And they look at me and they go what’s the reason?

What’s the lesson?.

Realize that the answer may not be revealed for some time, or maybe never.

Chew on that today.