First off, I hate picking people up at the airport. I’ll tell you something, picking people up at LAX is a nightmare. They don’t allow you to park. Secondly, you don’t want to circle around waiting to pick someone up because LAX is a long track where traffic can get as bad as it is on the 405, and you can sit in your car at the airport for two hours, driving 1/8 of a mile.

But the fact of the matter is, when you pick somebody up at the airport, that’s relationship material. You do that when you’re in love. You don’t do that when you first start dating. That’s crazy.

“Yeah, I took her out on three dates, we haven’t slept together yet, but I’m picking her up at the airport.” Really? Why? I mean, you’re basically picking her up at the airport and driving her home, bringing her bags in and then she’s going, “Alright, thank you. We’re not sleeping together so you’re not staying here.”

So she’ll give you a glass of water and then find a way to get you to leave. The only way you ever pick somebody up at the airport is if you know you’re going to have massive crazy sex afterwards because you’ve missed each other. That makes it fun. That’s a blast.

I love pick-up sex. One of my favorite things in the entire world — airport pick-up sex after a trip out of town. It’s great. You pick her up, she’s all excited to see you after a few days, you play with her, fondle her a little bit on the way home, you get her all excited, you schlep her way-too-heavy bags (I mean, who needs that much stuff for a weekend trip?) into her place. Then you have amazing sex.

But if you pick her up from the airport and you’re not already sleeping together, you’re immediately in the friend zone. So unless you desire to be in that friend zone, I strongly suggest you wait to pick her up from the airport until you guys are intimate and committed.

It’s so funny to watch people walk around on a cloudy day with dark glasses on. It makes absolutely no sense at all. They can’t possibly need the sunglasses, there’s no sun out. Especially inside the airport. Ever been in LAX? That place is dark, gloomy, and outdated in every which way.

Living in L.A. is a real comedy sometimes. It’s a real circus parade. I know that for many of you a celebrity sighting is a fun thing, it’s like spotting a wild bird or an endangered species. But in Los Angeles, these celebrities, no matter what level they are, whether it’s a B-list, C-list, or D-list quasi-celebrity, will always mask themselves in public because they feel that the world is constantly chasing them and looking at them. But in reality, the majority of people won’t even recognize who somebody is until they put on the dark glasses on and the scarf.

Celebrities

Because here’s the deal: when it’s a cloudy, rainy day, and you’re walking into the supermarket with dark sunglasses and a scarf on, everybody is going to look at you. So I think what they’re actually doing is the exact opposite of what they’re pretending to do, and they’re doing it for a reason: they really want people to notice them. By masking themselves, they actually want to be noticed.

I have found that the majority of people I’ve met who are so-called celebrities are some of the most insecure people in the world. A lot of them are narcissists who want others to look at them constantly, asking, “Who is that? Ooh, is that a celebrity?” A lot of them really love the attention 24/7. So it’s a pretty ironic thing to be able to watch the circus parade all the time.

So many people just want other people to look at them. They want to be noticed. A lot of them come here to Los Angeles just to be noticed, just to be famous. It’s amazing when you drive around Los Angeles. There are just so many wannabe celebrities.

So I was boarding the flight and it’s funny, I’ve been a relationship coach for so long now that I pick up on first encounters everywhere I go. As I was getting seated, in the row in front of me I spotted a guy sitting next to a young woman and he was clearly trying to get a conversation going.

Problem was, he couldn’t get a sentence out without going “uhh” and “umm” every other word.

“That’s cool…ummm… Yea, that’s nice… uhh… So, um, where are you from?” Now I’m not making fun of this guy at all, he was just nervous and the woman he was talking to was trying really hard to listen to what he was saying.
Are you an “umm-er” or an “uhh-er”? There’s some new terminology. So this inspired me to do a “umm-uhh” blog today.

Here’s the deal: You know the people who, when they don’t know what to say next in conversation, they always go, “uh” or “um”? The only place where “uh’s” and “um’s” are great is when you’re in the heat of passion, you’re having great sex, and it feels really good and you let out an occasional “ah”, or an occasional “um”, or an occasional “hmm”.

But when you’re “ah-ing” and “um-ing” in the middle of a conversation, it means you’re not really listening to the conversation flow. It means that you’re stuck in your head thinking about what to say next and thinking about if what you’re saying right now is the right thing to say.

I’ve seen this with a lot of guys that I’ve coached. I’ve watched them go over and talk to women, and I know they stop listening in the middle of the conversation because what happens is the woman will say something interesting, the guy will not know what to say because he gets lost inside his head. He stops being present and he comes back with an “uh” or an “um”.

I know that when someone “uh’s” or “umm’s” me, it means that they’re really not paying attention. It means that they’re focusing on something else. Maybe they’re watching the television. Maybe somebody else caught their eye.

But in real conversations that are engaging and interesting, “uhh’s” and “umm’s” just don’t come up in the first 30 seconds of talking unless you’re not paying attention and you’re not present in the conversation. So if you’re an or an “umm-er”, realize why you’re doing it. And realize that you need to start paying deeper attention to what other people are saying so that you can be engaging and really carry the conversation forward.

I had an amazing time in NYC teaching a great group of men my new seminar format. It was one of my most favorite weekends that I have ever had with a group of guys.

I feel like I just hung out with 14 new friends and I cant wait to see them all again!

I have the same seminar coming up in LA at the end of March so email me if you want to learn more.

One final thing to share.

The NYC to LA flight is always full of great people watching.

I sat across from Christina Ricci and her dog Karen and Kevin Bacon was 4 rows in front of me in First Class. The JFK to LAX American Airlines flight is always full of celebs going home from NYC.

Yesterday we had a great debate on about sex.

For those of you who missed it check the blog out.

Today lets dig deeper.

Have you ever just had sex with a man and thought, “Now that I’ve had sex with this random guy (since it’s been six months since my last sexual encounter!), is he going to think I’m a slut?”

The answer? Not if you phrase it correctly.

I’m the first to admit that there’s a double standard out there. I personally commend women who are sexually free and open. I don’t judge women who are sexually free and open. I also don’t really care about with how many men a woman has slept.

There are men, however, who judge women for being sexually free. So, how does a woman know if she’s slept with someone like me, or with a judgmental non-evolved man?

When you have sex with a man for the very first time on, let’s say, the very first date, men are so ego-driven that they want to believe that there was something special about them that made you lose all control and decide to jump into bed with them quickly. They want to believe that they have some magical sexual power over you.

They want to believe this regardless of whether you slept with four other guys before them that week. They don’t know!

So what do you tell a man you’ve just slept with so that he won’t judge you? It’s really simple!

Just tell him, “I can’t believe I did this, but I haven’t had sex in so long that I couldn’t resist it.” A man’s ego so wants to believe that.

I’m all about telling the truth, but some men can’t handle the truth. It’s like when Jack Nicholson told Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, “You can’t handle the truth!” Unfortunately, ladies, some men just can’t handle the truth.

If he’s a one-night stand or he turns into a booty call, massage his ego and you will massage all the right parts. He will think he’s some incredible lover.

I’m all about women using men for sexual pleasure. Men have been using women like this for years.

Welcome to the new sexual revolution: women rule!

One word of advice to the men: When a woman decides to have sex with you on the first date, stop judging and worrying about what she’s done in the past. Just embrace the gift of another person.

It’s time to learn how men really think so that you can stop wasting your time with men who are just not what you want. Get a complete behind-the-scenes tour of a man’s mind by investing in my Women’s Mastery Series program.

And yes if you want to know Christina Ricci is very nice and I am sure all the women want to know.
Kevin Bacon still looks great.

There are about five entrances into LAX, but they only stand in one. It makes me think that their function is not so much security, but more to be “meet ‘n greeters.”

Yes, I know they are supposed to be ferreting out would-be terrorists. They stare at you as you pass by and assess based on that look whether you have a bomb in your car.

What is funny, though, is that any cab driver will tell you about the other four entrances at LAX at which there are no “meet ‘n greeters.” It’s like the cab drivers know about a secret back door to a club about which the cops don’t even know.

So here in Los Angeles we have the “meet ‘n greeters” at the airport. They are there to wave hello to you when you enter LAX.

You are probably wondering why I am ranting about “meet ‘n greeters,” and what they have to do with today’s blog. I actually am not ranting about them.

I think they’re funny. They are something that would be part of an episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Can you imagine telling people about that job if you worked as a “meet ‘n greeter?” Someone asks you what you do do for a living, and you would say, “I’m a “meet ‘n greeter” at LAX . . .”

Then when they ask you what your job entails, you would say “I take my hands and put them in the air, moving my fingers back and forth all day long. I wear sunglasses as I stare at your car so I can look intimidating.”

Somewhere along the line in meet ‘n greeter school, these folks were supposedly taught how to find a bomb. Oh really, Mr. Meet ‘N Greet? What exactly are your experience and qualifications? Were you a meet ‘n greeter at Wal*Mart first?

You would, however, get to tell people all about the interesting things you get to do as a meet ‘n greeter. You could tell people, “I get to check out people in really interesting states of mind. I get to see people stressed out and rushing to get to their planes. I get to search cars with a flashlight and a cool dental-type mirror that turns upside down so I can see underneath the car.”

Is that really going to ferret out all the bombs? Really, I’m sure there aren’t any terrorists who know how to hide a bomb. I’m sure they would hide the bomb in that four inches that little mirror can see under the car.

So if you are looking for a new job, have I got a line for you! Think about looking into being an LAX “meet ‘n greeter.”

So because our flight time was getting close, we of course had to be pulled from the line to go through security (along with some others whose flights were also coming up soon). We were on the 11:45 flight.

Of course one woman whose flight was at 11:34, barreled past me breaking Sonja and I up. This other woman says, “Wait! I’m on the 11:24 flight!” and wanted to go ahead of the 11:34 woman, but the 11:34 woman wouldn’t let her go ahead even though the other woman’s flight was before hers.

Did you ever meet someone you just want to kick and shake? That woman was radiating negative energy. I’m sure her purse was filled with Tums, Mylanta, pain medication . . . and maybe some Xanax. She might have even been an emergency Valium woman like my mother.

So I made the flight here to New Orleans, and now I have a job for all of you this weekend. You’re probably thinking, “Wait, I read yesterday’s blog about the job you gave us to reconnect with old friends. You have TWO jobs for us this weekend?” For any of you who need a refresher on yesterday’s blog, CLICK HERE.

For those of you who are regular readers, you know I have limited experience with children. I’ve even called them “little aliens” from time to time, even though they’re really just little people.

I learned some things watching little Ashlyn here. It’s amazing how uninhibited a 2½ year old’s body language and emotions are. You know exactly when a kid wants to talk to you, play with you, communicate something to you . . . and you know when they think you’re a creep.

They are either naturally approachable or naturally unapproachable — like pitbulls. They are based on natural body language intuition, and are without fears and doubts.

So your job, Ethan Hunt . . . oh, wait this isn’t Mission: Impossible . . . is to go find some little kids this weekend and watch them. Go to a Chuck E. Cheese or a park and just enjoy yourself. Don’t go dressed in trenchcoat looking like a creep, and just enjoy the day.

I want you to go back to your more innocent days when you were more open about meeting people. The way to do that is to be open about body language, dynamics and from where the smile comes.

For those of you who think you’re above this, you don’t get the point of this. For those of you who think this is silly, you can be like Kristen’s cats and just hide in your room. People can be so much like cats — you take a cat out of it’s environment to a new place, and it freaks out for weeks and hides in corners in a room.

What would you rather be like? Think about it. Would you rather look at the world and the beauty that it is? Or, would you rather be like Kristen’s cats, Captain Jack and Hercules, scared of the living room? Would you rather be screaming with enjoyment, or screaming with fear?

Here’s a quote I just heard that fits perfectly into today’s blog and is a good ending to it: “You know if you hide from your fears, they don’t go away.  They get bigger and they get worse.  The only way to get rid of them is to face them.” 

Have an amazing Saturday!

All right, so finally we got on the plane and I found this article in a magazine called “Fast Tracks to Dating Disaster.” Supposedly 626 women have revealed which moves will make an evening end with nothing more than a handshake.

One of these moves is taking a phone call during dinner. Are you an idiot? Are you really going to take a phone call during dinner when it’s your first date? Not only are you not going to get laid, but you’ll be lucky to get even a handshake.

Here’s another: forgetting your wallet. You forget your wallet and you’re going on a date? That’s just screaming to her that you’re cheap and irresponsible. What are you going to do? Call your dad to drop it off? How do you forget your wallet?

How about not holding the door open? Didn’t your mother teach you any manners? Hold the damn door open! It’s not that hard! Open the door, hold it, and let her go in first.

Next dating disaster is complaining about your ex. Hey, you picked her! This one is off the charts. You went out with her! You chose to date her! Can’t you embrace the lessons that you learned? As far as I’m concerned, I embrace every person I’ve ever been with, no matter how it ended. I chose to date these women for a reason, and I’ve learned things from them. I would never bash my exes.

How about arriving underdressed? I’ve seen people on dates before where the guy will actually have on a baseball cap turned backwards, a ripped t-shirt and chinos and the woman is dressed in a cute little skirt and a top.

Here’s one: talks a lot about himself. A lot of people talk about nothing but themselves. But it’s called a conversation for a reason. It should go back and forth like a tennis game. You listen and then react to what she says, and then she reacts to what you have said. This is having a conversation.

You don’t just sit there and brag about yourself. We’ve written blogs about that. Deeper braggers – remember those people who just want to talk about themselves?

Recently, this guy who can’t seem to stop asking out the girl I’m hanging out with bought her a series of Rolfing sessions, which costs about $1,300. She knows how expensive it is, and he looked at her and said, “oh, it’s no big deal. It’s like pennies to me.”

Come on, dude, what an ass. Never talk about how much a gift costs – especially when you’re trying to buy someone else’s girl something! You’re never going to get her anyway! People are so crazy.

Okay, here’s another fast track dating disaster: chewing with your mouth open. Do people actually do that? Do guys actually chew with their mouths open, especially on a date? That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.

I had a roommate in college that used to chew with his mouth open. I would have to close my eyes when I was sitting across from him at dinner.

Next dating disaster is quoting the Simpsons. You have to be kidding me. Do people actually quote the Simpsons? They say, “ay caramba”? That is so 1990s!

Another disaster: putting his arm around me. Women might not mind that one as much as this one: copping a feel. Yes, there are apparently guys out there who think that they still need to feel breasts halfway through a dinner date.

I have a friend who is a total trip: at the end of every date, he brings her back to his $10 million home, hops into the hot tub naked and throws his date a bathing suit. He keeps an endless supply of bikinis. He doesn’t think that a date is successful until he gets off. He’s 47. He’s a caveman.

Those are some really good ones. What are your fast tracks to dating disasters?

What the hell is wrong with people?

People on an airplane act like total animals. They read a magazine and then throw it on the ground. They drink a bottle of water and then throw that on the ground too.

What do they think? The flight attendants are just maids in the sky? That they are going to just clean up after them entirely?

People act like total pigs when they get on airplane. They bring on the most disgusting food, like McDonalds. McDonalds is the WORST thing in the world you could bring into an enclosed space. They never think about other people.

Not only that, but when people stand in line for the bathroom, they literally fart in your face. You’ll be sitting there and smell this horrific stink, and then the person will look at you like, ha! Yeah, so I did just fart in your face! No big deal.

Here is another thing I’ve noticed about people’s disgusting public habits: why are public restrooms always so wet? There is always urine on the toilets in public restrooms. You literally have to clean the seat before you even consider sitting down to use the toilet.

It’s the most ridiculous thing in the entire world. Do they pee on the seat in their house? Is there urine all over the seat in their house?

Why do people throw paper towels all over public restrooms? Why are people so disgusting in public? I’ve never really understood that.

So what makes all this applicable to the dating world? Nothing really! But sometimes I like to talk about things other than creating attraction and dropping your ego and great sex.

When it comes down to it, you might end up dating one of these animals. This animal might come into your house and pee all over your toilet seat!

So get some manners! It is disgusting. People are just gross, and getting more mindless by the second.

Maybe you think it’s funny not to flush and leave a present for someone in a public restroom. But I really don’t find it that interesting to look down and see your present!

When I was little I used to tell my mom when someone left shit in the toilet of the public restrooms. In response, she taught me to never look down. Now when I go to a public restroom, I never want to look down!

What is up with people and their ridiculous animalistic behavior?

I’m not here to tell you who I voted for yesterday because the last time I decided to talk about politics in the blog I got shit for two days afterwards. And all I was asking is who’d you prefer to date, Obama or McCain?

None of you seem to care about my political views – all you want me for is my advice! So I’m going to give it to you today.

So in this article, Barack Obama said something very interesting. He said that if you want to avoid disappointing others, don’t disappoint yourself.

I find that concept really interesting. You have to start answering to yourself. You have to start looking at yourself and thinking about whether or not you commit to yourself.

Do you commit to yourself? Are you committed to your goals? Are you a person of your word?

All you have in life is your word. If you can’t go ahead and take action, and you keep disappointing yourself, you’re going to do the same thing to other people.

So maybe you’re not ready for a relationship. If you are someone who disappoints yourself on a regular basis because you cant seem to stay committed to goals or appointments, then don’t start getting involved with anybody else.

Right now, you need to understand that you have to start embracing yourself and listening to yourself. You have to start redeeming yourself – to you.

And as for the election yesterday – whatever. This ain’t no political blog. This is a dating advice blog. If it was political, I’d tell you right now what I think and where I believe our country needs to go – but none of you seemed to care the last time, when I posed the important question to you: who would you rather date, Obama or McCain?

And as far as my mindset today…..I enjoyed every minute of lasts nights election. Where were you last night when history was made?

And whether you love him or not how do you feel this morning when you woke up to a whole new beginning?

We just witnessed history and no one man can change the mess of the last 8 years but we now have a new attitude and direction.

How do you feel today about this.

Let it out its good for you!!!