Dating Tips and Dating Advice by David Wygant » laugh

George Carlin On Aging

David Wygant — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 18:58:12 +0000

Today I thought I would share something that my girlfriend and I really enjoyed yesterday. George Carlin was an amazing person who had some very unique views on life.

As you know I never post anything up here from others……but this message rings really true.

Enjoy your Sunday and back to the crazy world of sex, dating and relationships tomorrow.

Enjoy the ride; There is no return ticket

George Carlin on aging!

George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old
is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so
excited about aging that you think in fractions.
‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the
next number, or even a few ahead.
‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re
gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life !

You become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound
like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now,
you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the
brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and
your dreams are gone.

But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into ! your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT
lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there.
Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a
little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and
height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning. ! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s family name is Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who
is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it’s family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.

And if you don’t send this to at least 8 people – who cares?But do
share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each
day!!

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safelyin a well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways,totally worn out, shouting ‘…holy sh*t …what a ride!’

Excite and Intrigue

David Wygant — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:26:31 +0000

There are no flaky people. Anywhere.

You think you have flaky people in Missouri, right? You have flaky people in Vegas? You have flaky people all over Southern California, right? And there are flaky people all over Jersey and New York, right? And in Arizona…

But here’s the thing about flaky people: they don’t exist. If someone flakes on you, it just means that they are not really that sure about you. They are just indecisive about if they are into you or not.

We all flake on people that we’re indecisive about. Do you know how many times I’ve been invited to a party or out to dinner with some people, and then at the last minute I realize that I really don’t want to go? And I bail out.

Does this make me a flaky person? No, it’s just because the people that were invited to the party just didn’t really intrigue me enough to want to go. It wasn’t worth my time to go.

Client: You said you were going to go in the first place?

David: Of course! We always accept those invitations before we think about it.

Client: Yeah, we all do that to a degree.

David: Right, and then later – at the last minute – we realize that the person that we’re going to go hang out with doesn’t really excite us, so why are we going to go give up one of our nights?

So when people bitch and complain about people being flaky in terms of dating and other things, I just tell them to let it go. You just didn’t excite them enough, and for once you’re on this end of the stick. More often you’re the one flaking on somebody.

If someone is truly excited about hanging out with you, they are not going to break the plans. If they do have to break the plans, they will say something to you like, “something at work just came up, can we do something tomorrow night?”

Khiem: And if you seem to be meeting constant flakes, well, then you just aren’t exciting or intriguing enough.

Bernie Mac

David Wygant — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:47:43 +0000

The other day, Bernie Mac died. I found this really bizarre. I wasn’t a huge Bernie Mac fan – I thought he was great in a few movies like Ocean’s 11, 12, and 13, and he was a funny man. He had a great zest for life.

But, man, he was 50! It’s just awful.

This is something that I’ve written about before – I wrote about the movie The Bucket List – where we always think we have endless amounts of time left. We’re always waiting, just hanging out, and waiting, waiting, waiting.

We’re saving money to go to Italy when we’re old. We’re saving money for a rainy day. We’re going to buy that house that we really want – in ten years. We’re going to go on that vacation 14 years from now. We’re going to get that dog that we’ve always wanted in another four years.

We’re going to ask that woman out that we really like – next year. We’re going to lose those pounds next year. If you’re a woman, you’re going to feel better about men and start flirting with them – as soon as you lose those extra pounds. If you’re a guy, it’s the same thing: you’re going to lose some weight and then you’ll go meet people.

But let me tell you something: I wonder what Bernie Mac would say about all of that? Bernie Mac was just 50 and he died. 50 years old: that’s young.

Bernie Mac lived a great life. He had such a zest for life. I used to love watching him on interviews because he was always so full of life. He was so alive, so strong, and so vibrant. He took a lot of risks. He had a passion for life. He did a lot in his 50 years – but he had a lot of life left.

The real question here is: what are you waiting for?

What do you want to do right now? What are you waiting to do until you are older or have more money? Or until you have more things, or lose more weight – whatever it might be. What exactly are you waiting for?

You cannot wait. I’ve been looking to buy a house lately. I keep thinking, I’m going to buy this certain house, and I’ll buy the house I REALLY want in five years. No – I’m going to buy the house I really want right now! Why would I wait? I don’t know where I’m going to be in five years.

Now, I’m not telling you to go out there and spend your entire life savings and do something crazy, but there is something called balance. Most of us are out of whack in terms of balance. I don’t think we spend enough time doing the things we want because we keep waiting for something to happen. Or we will do it, but in the future.

Have you ever seen the movie Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep? I suggest that you rent it. It’s a great movie. There is a great lesson in that film and it’s very interesting. It teaches you that you need to seize the moment.

So think about the bigger picture. Bernie Mac passed away at 50 years old. Think about the bigger picture.

What do you want to do? What do you want to accomplish? Who do you want to meet?

And why are you waiting?