But this blog is not about the weather. Though I have to say that when I was a kid I really did want to grow up to be the weatherman. I thought it would be awesome to just stand there, have a cute little woman take the sun cutout and turn it in circles for me. I’d have my own Vanna White of the weather world! But that’s just a fantasy of mine, and it’s none of your business…

So let’s keep going. There is something that Howard Stern once said that I think you all need to listen to and deeply consider. Howard Stern was being interviewed somewhere, and the interviewer asked him, “Howard, how do you feel about all of these people hating you?”

Here is what Howard Stern basically said: “you know what? I don’t care if people hate me. I don’t really care if people love me. I just want to be able to create an emotion in them.”

Think about that quote for a second.

If every single person in your life describes you as being “such a nice guy,” here is what they are really saying: you are boring! You just fit in. You don’t stand out, and you certainly don’t create an emotion in them.

You want people to either love you or hate you.

Hate might seem like a very strong word; let’s go deeper into it. It is better to have someone disagree with you, and for you to create an emotion in him or her, than for you to just go through life as the invisible man.

Many people go through life as either the invisible man or invisible woman. Being invisible means that people just don’t really remember you all that much. Some of you dress very conservatively, and some of you dress so that you won’t stand out. It’s no wonder that nobody really remembers you!

When you walk in somewhere, you talk to people in a mellow voice, and you’re so afraid to challenge anyone that no one remembers you as soon as you walk out the door.

How many times have you walked into the same clothing store or bagel place and the guy behind the counter acts like he’s never seen you before? Like this is the very first time you’ve ever ordered coffee from him?

Why is this? Because you haven’t created an emotion in him. If you don’t create an emotion for someone – whether it is positive or negative – no one will ever remember you, and they certainly won’t want to date you. You will continue to go through life as the invisible man. Is that what you want?

Instead of monitoring your thoughts and getting caught inside your head all of the time, start challenging people! Stop playing it so safe. Playing it safe will never get you what you want.

The problem with playing it safe is that you will always have people look at you and say, “wow, he’s really nice, but I don’t know anything about him!”

Client: How do you start challenging people? What can you do to challenge people?

David: There are a few different things you can do to start challenging people and creating that emotion.

Let’s say that you’re in Starbucks, and there is a woman standing next to you in line. You take the time to mellow out and calm yourself, and then when you look at her, you notice that she has an indecisive look on her face. Remember, we can all read emotions; we just may not give ourselves permission to do so.

So you can look at her and say, “you look like you’re indecisive. You don’t know what you want to order?” She’ll respond, “god, I have no idea.”

What most guys will do at this point is just back down. They might say something stupid like, “oh, you should get a latte,” and offer suggestions, but they don’t take it further.

What you can do is say to her, “alright, tell me. What do you like, and what don’t you like, Ms. Indecisive?”

Challenge her. Have fun with it. That is what you really want to say to her, because you’re curious about her. You want to know why she’s indecisive right now, and you want to know what she’s all about.

By doing this, you’ll be able to challenge her in a different way. You will be able to take the conversation from small talk to real talk much easier.

A lot of guys will get freaked out and go back to that initial moment, asking her again, “well what kind of coffee do you like?” They have opened her successfully, but then they don’t know how to take the conversation further.

By challenging her, you’re going to take the conversation further as you take her away from the original topic. It won’t just be small, boring talk.

Start creating emotions in people and you will start being memorable!

Josh: I felt like we were doing pretty well with the women from the triathlon. There was one woman that I had a really good connection with, and I was about ready to ask her for her number, but then they left.

If I saw her again, what would you do to keep the conversation going the second time? How would you follow up?

David: We talked about that, with the whole blog on follow up we just did. I’ll answer it again because I think it’s a great question.

There is something about coaching and learning about repetition – I will repeat the same things today over and over again in different ways. Why? There are studies from sales trainings that show that you have to tell someone something six or seven times to get it to become a part of the person’s thoughts and behavior.

This is all very repetitive – everything we are going to be doing, from the places we go to the tables we sit at will be repetitive. When guys buy my products, I tell them all the time to listen to them over and over again. My voice will become your voice. Of course, you’ll process it in a different way.

So, let’s do it again. Follow up is very easy. The next time you see her, bring her back to the moment when you met her the first time.

When I ran into the couple from LA in Barney’s, I remembered they were from LA because I had already talked to them. I already knew where they were from, along with five or six other details about them.

I see them in Barney’s, and I think to myself, hmm, what do we have in LA that we also have in Seattle? Barney’s. So I walked over to them and asked, “what are you guys doing in Barney’s? We have this in LA!” and this started a whole new thread of conversation.

She replied, “oh my god, you’re right! But I hate the one in LA because I hate shopping with Beverly Hills snobs,” and BOOM! – we had a whole new conversation topic. I asked, “what about the Beverly Hills snobs do you hate? And by the way, you live in Beverly Hills! You live among those snobs!” I teased her a little bit and that got the conversation rolling again.

You’re going to see that you’ll run into the same people throughout the day and that is how you follow up with them. Even if you don’t see the same person for another week, you can still bring them back to the moment by saying, “oh my god, Barney’s girl!” “Oh my god, Pomeranian girl – how’s your dog doing?”

You can bring them back with that follow up. What makes top salespeople amazing is that whenever they go to a meeting with someone they remember details about that person. They remember things from that first conversation.

Whenever you talk to someone on the phone, find out things about him or her. I used to teach sales seminars, and I would always teach that the object is not to sell something, but to relate and to bond with someone and to sell yourself. We all want to do business with people that we like.

There is a reason why I will never take money from anyone for coaching him or her until they call me. You remember this from our phone call, when I talked to you during a hail storm in Santa Fe – if I don’t like you, I don’t care how much money you have – I’m not going to work with you.

I have to relate to you and spend a weekend with you. I’m giving up my time to spend a weekend with all of you guys. I have to like you. You have to fit in and be part of what I want to coach.

In the early days when I was still building my business, I would take anyone in. After the first 20 minutes of the weekend I’d want to jump off the escalator because I just didn’t click with the client.

So when it comes down to it, you want to do business with people that you like. When I was teaching sales, I used to tell guys to go into an office and look at the personal photos and begin to bond with someone.

It’s all about abundance again. There are plenty of people that I can coach, and there are plenty of sales deals that a person can close. I fill up bootcamps every month. I could probably do two per month but I like to do my own thing the other three weekends! My coaches in LA always want to do them more often, but I like my life the way it is. I like the balance I’ve struck with everything.

Chris: I’ve seen a lot of different stuff in personal development – lots of small transformations – and when I was talking to you on the phone you weren’t trying to close the deal on me. You were just being laid-back and cool and you were very straight with me. Not everyone is like that, and I really admire it. It’s one of the reasons I wanted you to coach me.

David: Well you were also thinking about doing the more expensive weekend, and I told you it wasn’t worth it.

Chris: Yeah, you were just straight up with me.

David: He wanted to do my 101 weekend and I listened to him and found out what he needed. I’ll do 101 weekends with people that really need it. I tell every single guy that calls me up about the bootcamp – I think the bootcamp dynamic really teaches you a lot.

There are guys who just need that 101 handholding all weekend. It’s 48 hours of very intense training. And I listened to you and where you were at in your life and I said, “no! Do this bootcamp first and if you want to do 101 down the road, sure, but I don’t think you need it.”

Chris: Yeah, I appreciated that honesty. I appreciate that ethic. It’s one thing I really admire about you.

David: When I started this business ten years ago, I didn’t have this abundance. I had to learn about abundance. I lost $300,000 in 1997, which is a lot of money. And I have no problem talking about it.

That was the worst year of my life. I was young, I was at the point where my business life was on this escalator going up and I made three of the worst decisions ever. It was just one after another. I could not believe I made three awful decisions like that in the span of like three months. I went from being very smart to being ridiculously stupid all of a sudden.

But I did it, and I needed to learn those lessons. Those were important lessons for me at that time. I also didn’t have abundance, so I was trying to be very greedy. I was trying to do things I didn’t really like and trying to make money however possible. I learned an incredible lesson.

I learned about abundance from taking on business in the beginning that I wasn’t really interested in. Life is abundant. There is always another one.

If you see a pair of jeans you like, but you miss it – don’t worry! There is always another pair. If you travel the world, there is always another place to go.

Women? We’ve been sitting now here at the escalators for about 45 minutes and there has been an abundance of women going up and down the escalators. We could sit here all day long, and I guarantee that every one of you could have a dinner date by the end of the day.

I believe in abundance in everything. I’m looking for that house right now. Someone else could put a contract down on that house today. I’ll find out on Thursday, and I’ll say to myself, there will be another house!

Todays podcast is all about how to get clear about life. Have you heard of the term optical illusion?

Today we create a whole new meaning of the term.

Click here to download…