I just think the first kiss on the first date is overrated. Technically you are total strangers. You sat across from each other at a table somewhere, or maybe you took a walk in the park, or you spent a couple hours talking . . . and then what? You need to seal it with a kiss?

I don’t think the first kiss is important on the first date. What’s important on the first date is the recap in your mind after you leave them. Let me ask you a few questions. When you go home and you do the post-date recap:

How do you feel?
What are you thinking about?
What did you think about this person and their lifestyle?
What did you think about some of the stories they were sharing?
Were there any warning signs?
Was there anything they said that really made you nervous?
Is there anything you want to do with them the next time you see them?
Can you imagine sharing one of their adventures that they described?

First Date Kiss

Another step in evaluating the first date occurs when you wake up the next morning. When you wake up:

Did you think about the person?
Are you still excited the next morning that you met that person?
While you’re kind of hanging out and going to work the next day, did you have a smile on your face that you met someone really cool the night before?

There’s a lot of pressure about the first kiss at the end of the first date. The first kiss at the end of the first date also does not necessarily mean that you’re going to end up seeing the person again. It could just be that you felt like you had to kiss them just because it was the end of the date.

I feel kissing at the end of the first date is so predictable. Not kissing a woman at the end of the first date is the opposite . . . it just shows a sense of patience. It’s also really nice to get a hug at the end of the first date, because really you’re both nervous at the end of the first date. She’s wondering if you are going to kiss her. You’re wondering if you should kiss her. So, why bother?

A lot of times there’s not even a lot of passion in that first date first kiss. It’s a nervous, windshield wiper kiss. Your tongues do a little dance in each other’s mouth. Neither one of your hands are moving anywhere. It’s kind of like your first dance in high school.

So let’s get rid of the misconception about the first date first kiss. What’s more important is the follow-up phone call, or asking them out during the first date for another date. Those are signs of real interest. Real interest is also calling them the next day, seeing what they’re up to, and getting together with them soon so you can keep the momentum going. This will make the first kiss a real first kiss.

So here’s a question for all of you: Do you like to hug, or do you need that first kiss for confirmation at the end of the first date? Do you desire a nervous windshield wiper kiss . . . or a passionate second day after kiss?

Forty-two years ago the New York Jets won the Super Bowl. I was just a little kid then. I barely remember it. All I remember about it was my Dad watching it and Joe Namath celebrating — and that’s about it.

The thing about being seven years old is that we all have what I call “Young Alzheimer’s.” We tend to forget what happened even the day before, and it’s hard to bring back those memories unless you see pictures or videos of yourself.

It’s time for the New York Jets to take it to the next level. Forty-two years since the last Super Bowl victory. That’s a long time.

Last year they made it to the Championship Game, and they were happy just to be there. They were 9-7, and they only made it to that game due to catching a couple of lucky breaks at the end of the season.

This year, however, they dominated. They were 9-2, then they struggled in a few games, and ended up finishing 11-5.

This year, they made it to the playoffs and they beat Peyton Manning. As Rex Ryan said, ‘This time it was personal.’ They beat the Colts and it felt great.

The Jets could have quit there. They could have said, “At least this year we beat Peyton Manning.” They didn’t have that attitude. Instead they were thinking, “Up next is the juggernaut called the Patriots.” Up next they were facing the 14-2 Patriots who embarrassed them earlier in the season in a 45-3 blowout and then taunted them to try and make them feel worthless.

What happened when they played the Patriots in the playoffs? The Jets dominated them. They could have quit there and thought, “Well we dominated the Colts and the Patriots. We don’t need to beat the Steelers.” But they do . . . and so do you.

I think there comes a time when “just good enough” is not enough. There comes a time when you really need to put the other team away. There comes a time when you must take it to the next level.

you can’t be satisfied anymore with just being “good enough” or just being “okay.” There comes a time when you’ve got to deliver, and you have to believe and take your game to the next level in order to do it.

Mark Sanchez and the Jets need to do that. As Bart Scott said at the end of his interview, he can’t wait to get to Pittsburgh. I can’t wait to see the Jets beat the Steelers. I can’t wait to see them go to the next level.

It’s just a game. It’s just football. It means nothing in the long run. I’m not playing or coaching — I’m just a fan. In the long run, however, what is important is how you take YOUR game to the next level.

Are you tired of just going out and saying hello? Don’t you want to ask somebody out? Do you want to get the number? Do you want to date the person you most want to date?

Aren’t you just sick and tired of just being ‘in the game’ and being “just okay?” Don’t you want to dominate the game, own the game and become the powerful person you always wanted to become?

I don’t care if you’re a man or woman. It’s time to stop just showing up, and to stop congratulating yourself for just showing up. It’s time for all of you to dominate in the field of dating.

As of right now I would make you all underdogs in the dating game — not by much, maybe a touchdown. I truly believe, though, that each and every one of you can start dominating in the field of dating.

Get on that playing field every single day. If you’re a man, go out and talk to women every single day. If you’re a woman, go out there and flirt and make yourself available every single day.

Stop just showing up, and start to dominate the field of play. The only way you are going to do that is to believe in yourself.

In the NFL you have a team behind you. You have the coach (even though the coach might have a foot fetish — sorry I had to throw that in there), and you have another player who has your back all the time. That is part of what makes NFL football such a great sport.

In the dating game, I have your back. The blog and other members of this community have your back ready to help you.

It’s time to stop feeling like you’re alone, and and the blog, other people have your back, helping you, commenting. It’s time to stop feeling like you’re alone and to start connecting with the team that’s all around you.

Connect with that team. Connect with me. We’re here to support you every step of the way.

For those of you who have thought about getting some coaching or about coming to a Bootcamp, it’s time you came and joined the team so that you have some people to support you. You don’t need to do this alone. You can do this with the help of others.

So, I want to say “Go Jets!” this weekend. I predict that the Jets are going to win that game 23-14. I actually think they are going to not just win, but dominate, in that game because they believe in themselves.

You guys always ask me if the direct approach works.

Check out Joe Namath using the direct approach with women.

The kiss means absolutely nothing unless you’ve done all the rest of the stuff right. I feel that if you pay attention to what the woman has to say — if you listen, react to her, smile in her presence and enjoy the date — that the kiss is really easy.

Not ending the date with a kiss is so different from how most guys think. I truly believe that you shouldn’t play tonsil hockey at the end of the first date. There is no reason to do that.

That’s a sexual thing. That’s a male thing. That’s an ego thing. It’s a man who is acting like a little boy who feels like he has to prove to everyone that he can get a kiss from a girl.

A real man couldn’t care less about the kiss at the end of the first date. A real man builds attraction by listening to her, talking to her, enjoying her company and asking her out for the second date. Those are the things that a real man does on a first date.

The best “kiss close” you can do at the end of a first date is to look into the woman’s eyes, reach in, give her a kiss on the lips, pull back and smile at her. That alone is so much more powerful that figuring when to jam you tongue in her mouth.

That subtle little kiss, in conjunction with asking her out at the end of the first date, will keep her thinking about you way more than any makeout session. So come on guys, do you want to be a boy or would you rather be a man?

You guys have labeled all these things in so many different and creative ways, from monkey chatter to approach anxiety. I mean, if you Google “fear,” it is amazing how many different versions of it will pop up in the search results.

What I am about to share with you in today’s podcast is going to blow you away. I know that every week I tell you that the podcast is the most powerful one ever, but that is because every week I come up with something more powerful than the week before.

In this podcast, I am going to tell you why there are only two emotions in this world: one is love and the other is fear. Hate is fear. Approach anxiety is fear.

Love and fear really are the only two emotions, and in this podcast I explain to you how to really embrace loving everything and fearing nothing. Click here to listen now:

Also, if you want to learn how to truly embrace love in your life and also how to truly erase fear, then you need to check out my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and my Women’s “No Excuses” programs.