I just think the first kiss on the first date is overrated. Technically you are total strangers. You sat across from each other at a table somewhere, or maybe you took a walk in the park, or you spent a couple hours talking . . . and then what? You need to seal it with a kiss?

I don’t think the first kiss is important on the first date. What’s important on the first date is the recap in your mind after you leave them. Let me ask you a few questions. When you go home and you do the post-date recap:

How do you feel?
What are you thinking about?
What did you think about this person and their lifestyle?
What did you think about some of the stories they were sharing?
Were there any warning signs?
Was there anything they said that really made you nervous?
Is there anything you want to do with them the next time you see them?
Can you imagine sharing one of their adventures that they described?

First Date Kiss

Another step in evaluating the first date occurs when you wake up the next morning. When you wake up:

Did you think about the person?
Are you still excited the next morning that you met that person?
While you’re kind of hanging out and going to work the next day, did you have a smile on your face that you met someone really cool the night before?

There’s a lot of pressure about the first kiss at the end of the first date. The first kiss at the end of the first date also does not necessarily mean that you’re going to end up seeing the person again. It could just be that you felt like you had to kiss them just because it was the end of the date.

I feel kissing at the end of the first date is so predictable. Not kissing a woman at the end of the first date is the opposite . . . it just shows a sense of patience. It’s also really nice to get a hug at the end of the first date, because really you’re both nervous at the end of the first date. She’s wondering if you are going to kiss her. You’re wondering if you should kiss her. So, why bother?

A lot of times there’s not even a lot of passion in that first date first kiss. It’s a nervous, windshield wiper kiss. Your tongues do a little dance in each other’s mouth. Neither one of your hands are moving anywhere. It’s kind of like your first dance in high school.

So let’s get rid of the misconception about the first date first kiss. What’s more important is the follow-up phone call, or asking them out during the first date for another date. Those are signs of real interest. Real interest is also calling them the next day, seeing what they’re up to, and getting together with them soon so you can keep the momentum going. This will make the first kiss a real first kiss.

So here’s a question for all of you: Do you like to hug, or do you need that first kiss for confirmation at the end of the first date? Do you desire a nervous windshield wiper kiss . . . or a passionate second day after kiss?

It’s called approach anxiety. It’s a made up disease based on fear and nothing else.

All of you need to be approaching each other and hooking up. The world is a much better place when we are all enjoying each other, having conversations and, of course, having sex!

Are you ready to end your approach anxiety once and for all? Are you ready to learn how to be able to communicate with anyone you see, so you will no longer be dateless and lonely?

I have just completed a product called “Become A Master Communicator” that I will be releasing publicly in a few months that shows exactly how to make all this happen. Ladies, this product will help you as well.

Even though the product won’t be available to the public for a few months, I am giving the people on my list a special *sneak peek* of this product NOW (along with a special offer as well).

If you want to get a sneak peek of this product and you’re not a member of my list, go to the top of this page and sign up in the box.

Also, because there is no podcast today on this “podcast Wednesday,” I am going to do something special for all of you next week. I am going to give you a double dose of podcasts! Yes, there will be two podcasts during next week. They are my Christmas gifts to you. Be sure to check in to catch those . . .

Now on to today’s topic that will inspire you to want to get rid of your approach anxiety and start really interacting with the opposite sex . . .

Do you know what I love about traveling? When you get into a traffic jam inside the airport.

Why are there traffic jams inside the airport? It’s because people don’t know how to drop people off. It’s really funny.

Why don’t people say their goodbyes before they get into the car to drive to the airport? So you drive twenty minutes to the airport. You have to wait until you get there to hug, kiss and say goodbye for ten times?

You could have said goodbye twenty minutes earlier and it wouldn’t have been any different. Actually, had you said goodbye at home, it could have been a much better goodbye.

You could have had a proper sendoff having wild and amazing sex. Now that is a great goodbye! It’s a lot better than standing at the airport staring at each other and hugging.

Instead of spending twenty minutes doing that, just get up twenty minutes earlier and bang your brains out before you leave. That way, you will get to the airport and drop the person off immediately, because you’re tired and you want to go home and shower.

Otherwise you are left with the traffic jam in the airport. It is caused by people who were rushing all day long to get to the airport who, once they arrive there, will decide that they need to spend five or ten minutes on the curb saying goodbye. They think, “Even though I’m really stressed out and I need to get to my gate on time, this goodbye is so important.”

So here’s a note to all the travelers who are being dropped off by their man (or their woman). Bang your brains out early that morning! Have a great orgasm (or two or three if you can climax quickly).

Do that and the goodbye will be so much better, because all day long you’ll be thinking about that wonderful feeling you had (instead of some quick two second kiss).

Come on, tell the truth. After a kiss like that, the minute you get in the car and start sipping your coffee, you will forget all about it. Amazing morning sex you will not so quickly forget.

So that’s my new goodbye for people heading to the airport. You bang your brains out like a maniac, and then you will be totally relaxed on the plane.

You will also be relaxed when you’re sitting in traffic in the airport with all the idiots who didn’t bang their brains out before they left. You won’t even care because you’re feeling good.

If you are dropping off your mother instead of a lover, you can still do a better goodbye before you leave for the airport. You say goodbye to her twenty minutes before you have to get in the car to leave. You hold her hand the entire time.

If you are dropping your boss off at the airport, you do not bang his (or her) brains out that morning. You just high-five him (or her) and say, “Have a great trip. Get out. You’re going out of town, so I’m going to play golf and goof off for the next five days!”

You guys have labeled all these things in so many different and creative ways, from monkey chatter to approach anxiety. I mean, if you Google “fear,” it is amazing how many different versions of it will pop up in the search results.

What I am about to share with you in today’s podcast is going to blow you away. I know that every week I tell you that the podcast is the most powerful one ever, but that is because every week I come up with something more powerful than the week before.

In this podcast, I am going to tell you why there are only two emotions in this world: one is love and the other is fear. Hate is fear. Approach anxiety is fear.

Love and fear really are the only two emotions, and in this podcast I explain to you how to really embrace loving everything and fearing nothing. Click here to listen now:

Also, if you want to learn how to truly embrace love in your life and also how to truly erase fear, then you need to check out my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and my Women’s “No Excuses” programs.

Here’s the bottom line: do you know why you are indecisive? It’s because you’re on the fence about somebody. That is why you are indecisive.

If you really liked that person, you wouldn’t be so indecisive.

I’m referring to a woman we were just checking out online. She’s looking for a guy aged 28 to 45, and she wants the older guy because she thinks he’ll be more decisive in his life.

The fact is that we’re all indecisive until we find the person that we really want to be with – then we are decisive. If we really like somebody then we will be decisive. We’ll go after them, we’ll make sure that we call them back, we pay attention to their needs and desires, and we’ll be very in tune with their feeling – that is being decisive.

I know that I was dating someone recently and she said to me, “you’re just so indecisive.” The reason that I was so indecisive was that I just didn’t care. I just wasn’t that in to her.

So I think that it’s just one of those excuses that people make that everyone does, and it should be socially acceptable. Really, everyone is indecisive until you find the person that you are decisive about.

The only way you will ever learn how to be decisive is to get out of your head and eliminate the monkey chatter.

Todays video is just the cure.

Sometimes my house is called Camp David – no, I don’t have any political heads of state there, nor am I entertaining George Bush, his dog, and all his Washington drinking cronies – but I always seem to have a group (sometimes small, sometimes large) of people hanging out there.

Sometimes on a Bootcamp weekend I’ll have a whole bunch of clients staying over at my house – and then it really is Camp David! It’s like a sleepover. They all bring their sleeping bags, and we go duck hunting in the morning, and then we go do some pow wow stuff. Just kidding, we don’t really do that in the mornings!

So the other night at Camp David we had a couple of people over. There was this one woman there named Amy, and she and Khiem started talking. Khiem wanted to share something that you women tend to do over and over again.

So ladies, as the men would say, this Bud’s for you – I’ll say, ladies, this blog’s for you! Without further ado, here is Khiem.

Khiem: Thanks David. I always enjoy hanging out with you at your house because I can always meet interesting people. Yesterday, I was very fascinated by one of your friends. Amy is obviously beautiful, young and has a lot going for her, but when we started talking, she began to open up about one of her past relationships.

She actually fell very hard for a “bad boy” or a loser. He supposedly did a lot of drugs, drank a lot and he lied to her, which was a big deal breaker for her. She told him upfront that she didn’t like liars and she didn’t like hypocrites.

However, as their relationship developed, she discovered that he lied to her. She broke up with him six months ago, but I found out yesterday she is still heartbroken. She still loves the guy, because they were together for a while.

And the question is why do women get so attached to these kinds of guys?

It was really interesting for me to hear how she wanted him to want her back, but she herself didn’t really want him back. She knew that by going back to him they would go to a place that would not be good for her in the future.

What this made me realize is that Amy valued him a lot more because he made her put up with so much of his shit. Even though he lied and drank, the few times that he actually paid attention to her – the few times he gave her himself – made her value him more. Every time he would ignore her but then turn around and give himself to her, it was like she hit the jackpot.

This is something that is very difficult to understand in the psychology of people because this guy was obviously no good, but because he made himself be valued so highly, she couldn’t let go. At the end of our conversation, Amy admitted that she might just be attracted to bad boys.

But for all of the guys out there, you need to learn to lead. Be more dominant, and be more masculine. The reason that Amy fell so hard for this guy is because he truly led her – through the ups and the downs, and mostly downs in this case – he always led her. He was always doing the things that were most important to him, but incorporating her into his life.

David: What Khiem is really saying is 100% true. Women are attracted to strong, dominant men. Whether this guy was a winner or a loser, he still led her on an emotional journey.

A lot of men will do that to women, lead them up and down, but it’s an adrenaline rush that women get addicted to. Women don’t want you to be soft, and they don’t want you to be needy. Women want you to lead them somewhere. We’ll have to talk about that more deeply in another blog.

Khiem: The interesting thing is that even though it has been six months, and Amy is trying to meet other guys, she mentioned that all the new guys she’s met are highly successful – they have degrees from high-end schools, or have a great job and make great money –she’s still been unable to open her heart to them.

It was very interesting to me because while obviously she is still in love with her ex-boyfriend, the biggest problem is that she wasn’t giving these new guys a chance. She thought that she was by going out with them, but emotionally and mentally she wasn’t judging the new guys with a clean slate. She was always comparing the new guys to her ex-boyfriend.

For girls that have been hurt before and have fallen hard – if you meet a new guy, look at them with a clean slate! If you don’t, you will never see the true positives or negatives that the new guy has to offer. Every person is unique, and as much as you loved your previous boyfriend – they will never be comparable.

David: So that’s why you really should not start dating again until you’ve cleaned house. If you have an old guy or woman in the cupboard, rotting away, you need to clean that up. What will happen if you don’t is that you’ll let a lot of good opportunities pass you by because you’re not emotionally ready.

I never believed in the terminology “dating for substitution.” I’ve found that you don’t date to replace, but you start dating again to start a whole new experience.

Todays video is all about how to create heat and passion on a hot summer night!

Something that is so funny is that so many guys try to get a kiss close.

For those of you that don’t know pick-up language, a kiss close is when you meet a woman in a square in Europe, or you meet a woman in a bar, or wherever, and you get a kiss close. This means you talk to her for like five or six minutes and then you get a kiss close.

But what is so funny, and what most guys don’t think about is this: that doesn’t validate you!

So you kissed some random woman? If she was so up for kissing you, you don’t know who’s dick she had in her mouth the night before! So basically you’re kissing someone’s dick from the night before. Think about that.

Not only that, but I know guys that have kiss closed women in bars, and I’ve seen it – they’ve actually kiss closed a woman in a bar, and they come over and they are so proud of it – all of a sudden I’ll see that woman making out with some other dude in the corner, grabbing his crotch.

Now the thought of sticking my tongue in a woman’s mouth that’s probably already gone down on some other dude doesn’t really appeal to me!

The fact is: why do you want to kiss somebody that you don’t even know? She could have the flu! She could have a really nasty cold. She could be skanky. She could have a cold sore – why do you have to validate yourself by kiss closing a random woman?

That doesn’t make you a man. It’s silly, it’s ridiculous, and it’s one of the dumbest things – this is why these guys call themselves ‘puas’. What does ‘pua’ stand for? Once again, every time I say it: it’s a pick-up asshole!

Basically you’re an asshole running around trying to pick up women all day long instead of learning how to attract women. Stop trying to pick them up – they’re not weights! You can’t lift them up over your head or curl them!

“Hey man, let’s pick up some women today,” “cool, I picked up two today, let’s put them on either side of a stick and just lift them and get a good workout,” right?

If you really want to pick up some women, lay down on the ground, I’ll throw one on top of you, and let’s see how many women you can bench press.

But that kiss close thing – this has always been something that has really repulsed me. Granted – I’m not a prude, I’m not an asshole, I have definitely gone out and had my share of make out sessions with random women in bars – when I was drunk and loaded.

But think about it as a sober person: think about where her mouth has been. Think about it: if she’s so willing to kiss you so quickly, think about where her mouth could have been ten minutes before.

Now do you still want to kiss close those lips?

Or would you rather spend the time, get to know her, and turn her into a dynamic, passionate, sexual being that absolutely indulges every inch of your body?

If you want that, I’ll tell you about it another day!