Hey hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend!!

I just got out of the water I spent the early part of the day surfing!!

Hawaii is amazing and I think I found a new sport!
Onto todays blog.
When you’re in the mall and you really want to start conversations, start them based on observations. Your observations are always a good way to start conversations.

You can start by saying, “hey, look, I need some help with the furniture,” and then observe. A client and I recently went into a Pottery Barn and did this. We listened to how she talked – in this case, the woman was Russian – so I threw in, “what part of Russia are you from?” to get her to start talking about herself.

The key is to observe, to then start the conversation, and then to listen intently. Whenever you listen, you get to pick up on all of the things that you want to be able to talk about next. Instead of thinking about what you NEED to talk about, you’ll actually be able to flow with the conversation by just listening to them.

The other person is giving you all the information you need to carry on a deep conversation with them. The more you listen to them, the deeper you can go.

When she mentions that she is from Moldavia, you can say, “Moldavia, I’ve never been there. What is Moldavia known for?” What happens is that you are creating an emotion in them, and by doing that; they are going to start to have some type of connection.

By asking her about things that she actually likes, enjoys, and is a part of, you will make her think about her home. When she thinks about her home, she’s going to want to talk to you more about that and she’s going to look at you as an emotional response. She’s going to bond with you, and think, oh my god, this guy is really interested in me – most guys aren’t really interested in ME, they’re interested in the physical aspects.

You can see when she starts talking a little bit about her language, and she gets red in the face. And then it’s like, well how much money do you have? I’ve got this magic pill – at that point, you have her. It’s done. That’s all you need to think about.

Today our video is all about getting wet with women in the rain.

Have you ever wondered what to say to a woman in the rain to get her intrigued and willing to get even more wet with you.

This is an actual excerpt from a recent coaching that i had with one of my clients.

In order to be charismatic, you need to be present in your situation. Most people think being charismatic is the funny things you say, or being loud or boisterous and whatever it is, but really, charisma is just a couple of simple things. One is listening intently to what someone is saying, showing enthusiasm to what they say, and reacting with enthusiasm to what somebody says. That’s charisma, in my book.

So how do you get really present when most of us are scattered with our thoughts all over the place?

Rent the movie Ocean’s 11. In that movie, pick one of the casino scenes. In these scenes, there are a lot of things going on. Watch about five minutes of the scene, and then turn it off and write down what you saw in that casino scene.

What do you write down? What were the characters saying to each other? What funny things did you see? What did you notice? What was going on in the background? Try to remember everything.

Then, after you write that down, watch that same scene again. What did you actually remember? What did you miss? Watch it again, and write it down again – what you remember, and what you missed the first time.

Watch that scene over and over again until you remember almost everything in that scene. This exercise forces you to concentrate – not only that, but life is like a scene from Ocean’s 11. If you think about it, you could be at a coffee shop, or at a restaurant, like we are right now.

By being in this restaurant right now, there are so many outside sources – there’s the guy with the tray, there’s a baby over there, there’s a guy sitting there and eating. Oh my god – there’s a beautiful blonde over there. There’s a woman on the phone, there’s the guy behind the counter. There are so many things going on.

What will happen is that you’ll start watching life like you’re in a movie. All of us watch movies. All of us actively can watch a movie.

Client: And what’s a movie really about anyway?

David: Life!

Client: That’s the thing about it, isn’t it – you pay good money to see something that every day is on your front doorstep! I never really thought of it like that.

David: Everyday, you’re living a movie. So, pay attention to everything that’s going on in the movie! Start quizzing yourself.

If you’re sitting in a restaurant, look around, and play a game with a friend. Look around, and then ask your friend to quiz you. We’ll do it right now. So take a look around, take everything in like you’re in a movie.

Now I’m going to ask you a question. The blond girl near the wall, is she on her cell phone or not on her cell phone?

Client: I don’t think she’s on her cell phone, no, but I didn’t really notice her.

David: Yes, she’s on her cell phone. The guy standing there waiting at the register, is he happy, or just kind of malcontent and bored?

Client: I think he’s pretty malcontent and bored.

David: You’ve got it. So now there’s two different emotions. Now let’s say that was a woman standing there being malcontent and bored. You could walk over there, and say what? What would you say? Think about it, you’ve seen me say it. If a woman was looking like that, what would you say to her?

Client: I would say, “how’s your day been?”

David: Yeah, “how’s your day been?” or “man, you look like you’re having just one of those days.” But “how’s your day been?” is pretty good, because if she’s been having a bad day, and you approach her with energy, she can be like, wow – no one has asked me that yet!

So now look around again. What do you see? Take a look, take it all in.

How many people sitting to the left of us are with that woman and the baby?

Client: Well, I only noticed the two women and the baby, but there’s quite a bit of people.

David: But do you see what I’m getting at? This exercise will teach you how to focus.

Client: I feel like I’m looking at things in the immediate, as opposed to looking at things far beyond me. I suppose that has to do with my impatience – I’ve been in bars before and quickly said, “it’s no good here, let’s just go.” As opposed to just having fun and chilling out, which is what I suppose I need to learn: how to just chill out.

David: This whole place is fun. Just look at that: there are four more women that just walked in. A little young, but still, they’re women. But this whole place is fun. You just have to take it all in.

There’s a terminology that I use which is called ‘ctn’: it stands for chasing the night. People will go to a bar, they look around, they make an immediate decision – nope, nothing here for me, let’s go.

And then they go to another bar, and another bar, and another one, and they’re just chasing the night all night long. At the end of the night, what happens? Nothing. You’ve chased the night away.

Instead of just going to a place and having a good time with a friend, and just taking in the environment and becoming a master of it, you’ve chased the night.

Client: That’s just so true!

Todays video is part 2 on becoming a natural with women. Enjoy and I hope everyone had an amazing memorial day weekend.

Here is the link to youtube so you can watch part one and two….you will need to see part one first.
Click here to watch the videos.