I brought Rey with me to New York last week. I had always thought Rey’s last name was Laing, and he never bothered correcting me. I had tried to check us in online before we got to the airport, but my printer was out of paper. My good assistant Rey hadn’t noticed it, and as I don’t really pay attention to office details, I hadn’t noticed it either.

So we got to the airport and scanned Rey’s credit card to check him in, and the screen said: Hello, Mr. Reynold Liang-Liu. And I thought, oh shit, that’s not the name on the reservation I made!

Before 9/11, if your name was Fred Mertz you could get on the plane with a ticket for Oscar Thompson. No one would care. But these days, with so much security, they care about things like that.

So thank god for the communication skills that both of us possess – luckily all we do is talk nonstop. We were able to persuade the American Airlines rep to let Rey on the plane even though his reservation didn’t have his complete name. Actually, it was fairly easy.

All right, so finally we got on the plane and I found this article in a magazine called “Fast Tracks to Dating Disaster.” Supposedly 626 women have revealed which moves will make an evening end with nothing more than a handshake.

One of these moves is taking a phone call during dinner. Are you an idiot? Are you really going to take a phone call during dinner when it’s your first date? Not only are you not going to get laid, but you’ll be lucky to get even a handshake.

Here’s another: forgetting your wallet. You forget your wallet and you’re going on a date? That’s just screaming to her that you’re cheap and irresponsible. What are you going to do? Call your dad to drop it off? How do you forget your wallet?

How about not holding the door open? Didn’t your mother teach you any manners? Hold the damn door open! It’s not that hard! Open the door, hold it, and let her go in first.

Next dating disaster is complaining about your ex. Hey, you picked her! This one is off the charts. You went out with her! You chose to date her! Can’t you embrace the lessons that you learned? As far as I’m concerned, I embrace every person I’ve ever been with, no matter how it ended. I chose to date these women for a reason, and I’ve learned things from them. I would never bash my exes.

How about arriving underdressed? I’ve seen people on dates before where the guy will actually have on a baseball cap turned backwards, a ripped t-shirt and chinos and the woman is dressed in a cute little skirt and a top.

Here’s one: talks a lot about himself. A lot of people talk about nothing but themselves. But it’s called a conversation for a reason. It should go back and forth like a tennis game. You listen and then react to what she says, and then she reacts to what you have said. This is having a conversation.

You don’t just sit there and brag about yourself. We’ve written blogs about that. Deeper braggers – remember those people who just want to talk about themselves?

Recently, this guy who can’t seem to stop asking out the girl I’m hanging out with bought her a series of Rolfing sessions, which costs about $1,300. She knows how expensive it is, and he looked at her and said, “oh, it’s no big deal. It’s like pennies to me.”

Come on, dude, what an ass. Never talk about how much a gift costs – especially when you’re trying to buy someone else’s girl something! You’re never going to get her anyway! People are so crazy.

Okay, here’s another fast track dating disaster: chewing with your mouth open. Do people actually do that? Do guys actually chew with their mouths open, especially on a date? That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.

I had a roommate in college that used to chew with his mouth open. I would have to close my eyes when I was sitting across from him at dinner.

Next dating disaster is quoting the Simpsons. You have to be kidding me. Do people actually quote the Simpsons? They say, “ay caramba”? That is so 1990s!

Another disaster: putting his arm around me. Women might not mind that one as much as this one: copping a feel. Yes, there are apparently guys out there who think that they still need to feel breasts halfway through a dinner date.

I have a friend who is a total trip: at the end of every date, he brings her back to his $10 million home, hops into the hot tub naked and throws his date a bathing suit. He keeps an endless supply of bikinis. He doesn’t think that a date is successful until he gets off. He’s 47. He’s a caveman.

Those are some really good ones. What are your fast tracks to dating disasters?

What the hell is wrong with people?

People on an airplane act like total animals. They read a magazine and then throw it on the ground. They drink a bottle of water and then throw that on the ground too.

What do they think? The flight attendants are just maids in the sky? That they are going to just clean up after them entirely?

People act like total pigs when they get on airplane. They bring on the most disgusting food, like McDonalds. McDonalds is the WORST thing in the world you could bring into an enclosed space. They never think about other people.

Not only that, but when people stand in line for the bathroom, they literally fart in your face. You’ll be sitting there and smell this horrific stink, and then the person will look at you like, ha! Yeah, so I did just fart in your face! No big deal.

Here is another thing I’ve noticed about people’s disgusting public habits: why are public restrooms always so wet? There is always urine on the toilets in public restrooms. You literally have to clean the seat before you even consider sitting down to use the toilet.

It’s the most ridiculous thing in the entire world. Do they pee on the seat in their house? Is there urine all over the seat in their house?

Why do people throw paper towels all over public restrooms? Why are people so disgusting in public? I’ve never really understood that.

So what makes all this applicable to the dating world? Nothing really! But sometimes I like to talk about things other than creating attraction and dropping your ego and great sex.

When it comes down to it, you might end up dating one of these animals. This animal might come into your house and pee all over your toilet seat!

So get some manners! It is disgusting. People are just gross, and getting more mindless by the second.

Maybe you think it’s funny not to flush and leave a present for someone in a public restroom. But I really don’t find it that interesting to look down and see your present!

When I was little I used to tell my mom when someone left shit in the toilet of the public restrooms. In response, she taught me to never look down. Now when I go to a public restroom, I never want to look down!

What is up with people and their ridiculous animalistic behavior?

I’m not here to tell you who I voted for yesterday because the last time I decided to talk about politics in the blog I got shit for two days afterwards. And all I was asking is who’d you prefer to date, Obama or McCain?

None of you seem to care about my political views – all you want me for is my advice! So I’m going to give it to you today.

So in this article, Barack Obama said something very interesting. He said that if you want to avoid disappointing others, don’t disappoint yourself.

I find that concept really interesting. You have to start answering to yourself. You have to start looking at yourself and thinking about whether or not you commit to yourself.

Do you commit to yourself? Are you committed to your goals? Are you a person of your word?

All you have in life is your word. If you can’t go ahead and take action, and you keep disappointing yourself, you’re going to do the same thing to other people.

So maybe you’re not ready for a relationship. If you are someone who disappoints yourself on a regular basis because you cant seem to stay committed to goals or appointments, then don’t start getting involved with anybody else.

Right now, you need to understand that you have to start embracing yourself and listening to yourself. You have to start redeeming yourself – to you.

And as for the election yesterday – whatever. This ain’t no political blog. This is a dating advice blog. If it was political, I’d tell you right now what I think and where I believe our country needs to go – but none of you seemed to care the last time, when I posed the important question to you: who would you rather date, Obama or McCain?

And as far as my mindset today…..I enjoyed every minute of lasts nights election. Where were you last night when history was made?

And whether you love him or not how do you feel this morning when you woke up to a whole new beginning?

We just witnessed history and no one man can change the mess of the last 8 years but we now have a new attitude and direction.

How do you feel today about this.

Let it out its good for you!!!