It could be a friend, could be a lover, could be a boyfriend, could be a girlfriend—doesn’t make a difference.

We feel lonely when alone.

Most people don’t even want to go out to dinner by themselves because they think, “What are other people going to think if I walk into this restaurant all by myself.  What if I sit by a pool by myself, what are people going to think?”

The popular mindset is: I’m always happier when I’m with somebody.

So I’m out to destroy that.

Start being a couple with yourself.  It’s a about going out and just being okay with your own thoughts.

Walk along the beach, look at the water, and be present.  Say hello to people when you want to engage, or just look at the beautiful things that are around you and appreciate life.  Become one with yourself first so you actually can be a more powerful version of you when you do find that special someone.

We always think that being a couple is better than being single, but it’s not true. It has its benefits, but I would avoid coupling until you’re secure when single.

I love going away to a beautiful island as a couple, but I love being with myself as a me-couple too. The things that I can experience alone are very powerful.

When I’m alone I can really contemplate, really think, and really get clear about what I want and where I’m at in my life.  I can think about future goals and how I want to create my future.  I can process the past and I can let go.

I can get clear with everything.

You don’t need anybody else to help you gain clarity. It’s really amazing to be on your own.  It’s a beautiful thing.  It’s empowering.

I can feel the excuses coming on right now.

“But David, I don’t have the money to go to Maui by myself…”

Doesn’t matter.  You can go to the other side of town.  Go for a hike, walk around different areas. Go down to the pool in your apartment building or at the gym.  Be by yourself.

You need a me-cation.

You can take many me-cations where ever you are.  And you can do that whenever you need it.  In order to go and meet somebody amazing, you need to be very clear with who you are, where you are at, and what you want to feel.

That’s it.

Now I’m going to go back to staring at the water, enjoying my own thoughts, and being…me.

…so we have some slightly ghetto A/V for this Friday Q&A.

But the wisdom is still pristine!

Today, we talk about hour-long orgasms and the difference between a James Bond smile and a George Clooney smile.

Watch and learn, my friends:

Do any of you have some theme music for us? You get some free stuff.

Also, we’re taking confessions for our weekly Friday contest. You get a free 10-minute nutrition and fitness session with Obi.

PSS. Who else wants hour-long orgasms?!!

There are a lot of men out there who have a little bit of money to throw around.

What a lot of guys will tend to do is take that money and spend lavishly to try and attract women.  They get a fancy sports car.  They buy a great house with all the bells and whistles.  They throw parties at their house, big parties with music, booze, food, where everybody can look at them and they can be the center of attention at their own party.

I call these guys the look-at-me’s: Look at me… Look at me… Look at all the things that I have! Look at all the great things that I do, look at my job, look at my great car, look at me!

And they like to throw it around. And a lot of women will go and date these guys, because women buy into it too.  Women will believe that this guy is a rich, strong, powerful, sexy James Bond-type guy.

Are You A Wannabe James Bond?

So they go out on a date, maybe they have a fling and sleep together.  Then they realize that this guy really isn’t James Bond at all.  He’s like some mutant threeway love-child between Wayne’s World, Beavis and Butthead, and Homer Simpson.

The guy may be good-looking, he may not be good-looking.  But the bottom line is that a lot of women buy into this fantasy of who he is pretending to be, and they don’t even pay attention to who he actually is. They don’t realize until further down the road that he’s just Garth from Wayne’s World with a bunch of cool toys.

Money may buy you fame, but money doesn’t buy you game.  Money doesn’t buy you becoming cool.  All money does is give you more freedom to do the things that you want to do.  If you’re going to use your dollar bills as your number one attraction weapon, and if you’re going to use it to bring in the women you desire, you’d better get ready to be exposed right away.

That woman will either: (a) look at you and expect you to be as debonair as James Bond, only to roll her eyes and be disappointed when she realizes that you’re actually an annoying Beavis-type; OR (b) she’s going to manipulate you, dig deep into your pocket, and make sure that every dime you spend together is on her.

Be careful when you go out and advertise yourself as somebody who you are not.

In dating, you need to be who you are. You need to advertise yourself exactly the way you are from the inside out, because you WILL be exposed.  There are a lot of players out there, there are a lot men and women who can play the game much better than you, and they will take advantage of it every step of the way.

When you’re dating somebody, what are the boundaries? Are there certain relationship boundaries which, if crossed, cause irreparable damage and the ultimate end of most relationships? While I am not usually a fan of hard and fast “rules” for relationships, there are certain dating behaviors which will almost without exception will end a relationship.

What all of these behaviors have in common is that they are violations of another person’s trust. Once one person in a relationship no longer trusts their partner, the relationship will almost certainly end. So to help you ensure that this doesn’t happen in your relationship, here are 6 relationship-ending dating behaviors that should always be avoided: Keep in mind that I am not mentioning the most obvious one which is cheating.

1. Everyone Is Entitled To Their Privacy. What constitutes a violation of someone’s privacy? When, if ever, are you justified in violating your partner’s privacy? If you have an “intuition” about something, does that give you the right to start reading through your partner’s email? To start listening to their voicemail messages? To hack into their other Internet accounts? The answer to all of these is no! To violate someone’s privacy is to violate their trust. You should NEVER dig through someone’s personal emails, or listen to someone’s voicemail messages. By listening to your partner’s voicemail messages or reading their emails, you are violating not only their trust, but also the trust your partner has with anyone who left those voicemail messages and emails.

2. There’s No Such Thing As “A Lie For The Greater Good.” Of course lying is never good in a relationship, although we’ve probably all been guilty of doing it. Certain kinds of lies, though, are far more damaging to a relationship than others. Some people will lie to their partner in certain situations in an effort to avoid hurting them or to avoid having to have a conversation that will be hurtful to them. So although we lie believing we are doing so to “protect” our partner, when that lie is exposed (which it almost always inevitably is) we end up digging a deeper hole for ourselves. When you do get caught in this situation, not only do you end up hurting your partner anyway, but you also end up hurting yourself even more. In life, what you fear will actually manifest – but it will manifest even more severely than you feared. So whatever you were trying to protect your partner from by lying to them will seem worse because of your lie than it would ever have had been if you just were open and honest about it from the get-go. On top of that, you have violated your partner’s trust by lying to them. These kind of lies are almost always relationship-enders.

3. You Are Not James Bond, So Never Spy On Your Partner You are not a spy, so you should never be spying on your partner. You should never snoop in your partner’s private things. That means that you must never look through your partner’s drawers, their wallet, their filing cabinet, or their private records (like their bank or credit card statements). Further, there is nothing that justifies snooping. No matter what you have a “hunch” about, snooping through your partner’s things is never the way to confirm or deny your hunch. It is an absolute violation of your partner’s trust. Your partner’s private business and personal records should be kept private unless they give you permission to look at them. Spying on your partner behind their back James Bond style is one of the most deliberate and blatant violations of your partner’s trust, and will achieve nothing except to have your partner never trust you to be alone near their things ever again.

4. Beware Of Designating Yourself “Magnum P.I.” Another wrong way some people try to verify suspected bad behavior by their partner is to take on the role of private investigator by attempting to “catch their partner in the act” of doing something. Whether this takes the form of searching for your partner’s car by driving by their house, work or gym, or it takes the form of following your partner in your car, this is something you should never do. Even if you believe you have a true “hunch” or “intuition” that your partner is doing something wrong or is hiding something from you, designating yourself as your own private investigator is not only the wrong way to address that, but also frankly smacks of stalker-like behavior. If your partner finds out you’ve been “tailing them” in your car, they will no longer trust you and will likely end your relationship right there and then.

5. Don’t Send Others To Do Your Dirty Work. Don’t ever send a friend or anyone else to gather information for you about your partner or to spy on your partner for you. That means, don’t send a friend to go hang out where you know or suspect your partner will be. Don’t have your friend try to eavesdrop on your partner’s conversations in places they go. Don’t ask your friends to use their cell phone to snap covert pictures of your partner. All of these not only violate your partner’s trust, but also reveal your total lack of trust in your partner. This behavior, if discovered by your partner, will most certainly result in them ending your relationship.

6. Avoid Paranoid And Obsessive Behavior. One of the biggest ways to reveal that you don’t trust your partner at all, is to manifest that distrust with paranoid and obsessive behavior. While calling your partner regularly is quite normal, calling them incessantly to “check up on them” comes off as paranoid and obsessive, and will virtually always drive your partner away. If for example your partner leaves their phone somewhere, and by the time they realize they left it and pick it up two hours later you have called them 50 times, you are not only coming off as being paranoid and obsessive, but you are clearly communicating to your partner that you don’t trust them at all. If you panic every time ten minutes go by without a reply from your partner to a phone call or an email, it sends the exact same message to them. This behavior will not only drive your partner away from you, but the fact that you clearly don’t trust them at all will most likely lead your partner to end your relationship.

So even if you have some type of “intuition” that your partner is doing something wrong, it is better to confront them openly about it and “slug it out” with them than to violate their privacy and their trust by searching for answers behind their back. Even if your partner doesn’t respond to your attempts to talk about it the first, second or third time, chances are that you will get to talk about it – and the outcome of confronting your suspicions openly with your partner will always be better than if your partner discovers you have engaged in any of the behaviors I talk about here.

Finding a great person with whom you want to be in a relationship can be really hard. Once we find somebody, though, we need to understand that our partner’s privacy and trust are boundary lines which must not be breached. Violations of trust like the ones discussed here are some of the quickest ways to kill any relationship.

No matter how much emotion and love exist in a relationship, a relationship cannot survive without trust. Think long and hard before you engage in any of these behaviors. Violating someone’s trust will never take a relationship to a better place. In fact, by doing so you may very well be single-handedly orchestrating the end of what could have been a fantastic relationship.