They check and see whether or not they made the sales they needed to. They check and see what they need to order in the new year. The bookkeepers are frantically crunching numbers so they can get taxes done.

It’s inventory time. The world is taking inventory right now and figuring out what they need for next year. Businesses are figuring out what their cash flow is. Hotels are frantically trying to sell hotel rooms. Households are trying to make just a little more money to close out the year and make sure it was a great year.
And women are looking around and basically thinking, “Have I spent more time fantasizing about men than actually dating them?”

The other day a friend of mine e-mailed me and wrote, “It’s amazing. Two women I dated this year called me yesterday, one after the other. We broke up like six months ago,” he wrote. “What’s the reason for that?”

And I wrote back to him, “Easy. It’s inventory time. They basically had gone to Thanksgiving dinner and their family asked them why they’re not dating anybody. Their friends are telling them about all their holiday plans with their family, their boyfriends, their husbands, and their kids. And they realize that they’re alone. Women feel more alone this time of year than any other time of year. Women tend to just feel vulnerable, and they are looking for companionship. And that’s where you come in.”

Knowing this information, knowing how vulnerable women are this time of year, knowing that they have done inventory, sexual and emotional inventory, they’re more open to a man’s advances. It’s real simple, and I’ve written about it in other blogs. Walk right up to them while they’re Christmas shopping and ask them, “What is Santa getting you this year? Are you buying that for yourself?”

Be playful. Be fun. Go out and use that approach. Wear at hat, maybe a Santa’s cap. Look at her and go, “Listen, I’m Santa’s little helper and I want to know if you’ve been naughty or nice this year.”

A lot of you right now are thinking to yourself, I can’t do that. Well then don’t. Don’t do it. Keep doing the things that you’re doing so you don’t meet women. Keep doing the same approaches that don’t work. And don’t trust somebody who knows what emotions are all about.

Women are emotional creatures, and they’re emotionally vulnerable this time of year. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re going to connect with them. You can continue to be Santa’s shy little helper standing in the corner. Or you can be the aggressive elf who would love to get some nice, wet, and juicy fun before Christmas.

Now you are probably thinking right now that a driller has something to do with a weird new sexual position or kinky kind of sex. If that’s what you’re thinking, you’d be wrong.

The driller with whom I’ve been hanging once a week is my dentist. It seems that every time I go to the dentist nowadays, all she wants to do is drill me.

There is always something she wants to drill this, fill that and inject Novocaine everywhere. I think she must have been a miner in her past life.

Not only that, everyone I’ve sent to her office ends up getting drilled. I mean I know dentists make a lot of money drilling people, but so do hookers. So are dentists just big whores?

They are using some of the same tools that hookers use. Instead of a putting a condom on you when you get head, they use that spit thing to suck the saliva out of your head.

If you think about it, dentists are also like hookers because they keep everything wrapped in plastic. Sometimes they even put a bit camera in your mouth. Why don’t they put a condom on that instead of wrapping it in plastic?

Gee, I wonder why no one looks forward to going to the dentist. It’s a horrible experience.

So how does this relate to dating? You know I’m going to twist it somehow to make it relate.

It’s the end of the year, and some of you have not done enough drilling. Some of you are in inventory mode right now, thinking about the last time you had sex or the last time you had a date. Unfortunately, some of you have had a very dry 2009.

I’m not saying that to be salacious. It’s the truth.

At the end of the year, people go into inventory mode. That’s why it’s easy to have sex at Christmas parties. Some people decide that sex will be their gift for the holidays.

So you do some inventory, realize that you haven’t had enough of the opposite sex during the past year, get hammered, and then you decide this is the night you are going to break this dry spell. I’ve seen this happen over and over again.

People are a lot looser during the holidays. They haven’t gotten any all year long, and when it happens at the office Christmas party they think it must be the egg nog.

It’s not the egg nog. Women realize they haven’t had enough dick and will search one out whether it’s real or made of hard plastic. Men will happily be there to take part.

So on this Tuesday, with just a little more than two weeks to go before Christmas, what are you inventorying in your dating life? Also, what toy did you almost break in before the new year?