I’m down to earth. What exactly does that mean?

Does that mean that they walk around with dirt on them 24/7? Does that mean that they like to roll around on the ground so that they can be really close to the Earth? Does that mean that they like to cover themselves with sand when they go to the beach so that they can feel the Earth?

Down to earth. I love that term. It seems to be the most abused term on Internet dating sites. Everybody puts it in their profile, especially women.

Do you know what I think when someone says in her profile that she’s “down to earth?” I think, “Glad that you’re down to earth. That sounds like a lot of fun. So when a picks you up, should he bring a shovel and a pail and a hoe, and be ready to do some gardening?”

Is that term supposed to mean that you’re real? I think sometimes we use generic terms to describe ourselves and it leaves things “iffy.” I mean, if every other person online describes themselves as “down to earth,” does that mean that 50% of these people are exactly the same? I think we need clarification for this term — down to earth.

A related term I also saw way too much on women’s profiles was the description, “I am real.” Really? I’m so glad you told me, because I thought you were a zombie or a robot.

I don’t get it when people write, “I’m a real person.” Everyone is a real person. Is that really the way you describe yourself, as a ‘real person?’ Well, great. Now I feel like I REALLY know you.

Another thing people say is, “I’m easy going.” Really? About everything or just about certain things, because no one is easy going about everything. There is always a trigger point on something for everyone.

When it comes to online online, I think people need to stop using all these cliches to describe themselves. It doesn’t tell people anything about you. Plus, when you look at fifty profiles and you describe yourself the exact same way 25 other people do, how are you ever going to stand out?

As I’m writing this I’m still on a big high from the amazing London boot camp. We were really out about town all weekend long getting out of our comfort zones, interacting with and really engaging people all day and night.

You know it’s funny how many people will talk and talk about “playing the field.” They can spout theory and concepts on dating that they read in an e-book all day long. And they’re really good at telling other people how to do it “the right way”.

Are you one of those people that can call people out? When you’re online, can you really speak your mind and let everyone see how much you really know? With a stroke of your keyboard, can you type waterproof arguments and let others have it? Are you somebody who’s so powerful online that you’re able to say whatever you want in public forums and blogs—but then in person, you actually wouldn’t dare look somebody in the eyes and say that?

Do you know what I call those people? Keyboard jockeys. People who appear so amazing online, but when it comes down to real action, they are very weak. People who can tune right in to their computers and type away, comment after comment, thinking, “Wow, I’m bright, it feels great showing everyone how smart I am!” They’re better than everybody else online, but in person they would never talk to somebody like that.

Key Board Jockey

Here’s the deal: If your words are unbelievably strong online, but you can’t actually talk to people when you’re in person, then when you’re typing away on your computer, you’re really you’re just a keyboard jockey living through an alter ego. Isn’t it time to get out from behind the computer and be able to say things like this face to face with people? Don’t you want to be able to say in real time all the powerful things you can type away online?

Granted, you don’t want to say the ridiculous obnoxious things that some of you spout off online, but wouldn’t it be nice to look people in the eyes and actually speak your mind and really be heard with conviction and emotion in your voice? Maybe you wouldn’t be so obnoxious when you’re posting comments…

Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE all of your comments on the blogs, it lets me know that what I write is really reaching out to you, so don’t think this is about any of you guys. But I write for several big publications and I see a lot of keyboard jockeys at work.

There’s another form of keyboard jockey, and that’s the person who goes on an online dating site, and basically talks and schmoozes, flirts like crazy, and writes heart-filled e-mails and has lengthy IM sessions. They’re really good at that, but they never actually go on dates to meet anybody because they’re too afraid to leave their computer. Sure, they can really turn somebody on with their words, but they always find reasons not to meet up. Why? Because they’re keyboard jockeys. Do you know of any keyboard jockeys, or maybe you are a keyboard jockey?

I’d like to hear from you guys today. Looking forward to reading your comments when I get to Munich!

How many of you find yourself typing away on the Internet, or playing on Facebook chatting up old friends that you haven’t seen in 25 years, at 11:00 each night? How many of you come home from work, watch television, get on the Internet, and then do nothing but sleep when you crawl into bed next to your lover?

Before the Internet existed, we needed to get creative to have intimacy. We actually lit candles. We actually had long conversations. We actually talked on the phone.

The Internet sucks us in now. It’s like a void. Before you know it, you have seven different windows open simultaneously with different things to which you need to respond. You might even be reading this blog instead of being in bed with the one you love.

In fourteen years of being a dating and relationship coach, I’ve found that most people retreat to the Internet because they don’t know how to retreat and connect with their lover anymore. The Internet really is one of the biggest intimacy killers.

I was recently traveling abroad with my wife, and I brought my laptop along (which I almost never do). I found myself feeling like I needed to keep in touch with people business-wise. I even found myself actually reading articles or reading the ESPN website instead of walking on the beach and connecting with my wife.

The Internet really sucks you in. It’s an addiction. It’s an addiction that could be as bad as drinking and drugs.

So many of us spend so much time on the Internet instead of spending time connecting with other people. Instead of going out and meeting actual human beings with whom we can develop a relationship, we spend time chatting online with people we barely know.

So, here’s a suggestion for everyone . . .

Bookmark a few of your favorite sites. When you get home, relax a little bit and spend some time on the Internet reading things.

Then when you have dinner with your significant other, sit there and just talk. Relax and enjoy each other’s company.

When it comes down to intimacy, if the only intimacy you are having right now is with your fingers typing on a keyboard, I strongly suggest that you start realizing how the Internet is killing any intimacy in your life. Realize how it’s killing your connection with your lover and with your friends.

Are you one of those profile liars? Oops, I didn’t mean to call you a profile liar so quickly . . . but are you one of those people who write an online profile based on everything you want to be instead of who you actually are?

That is a really bad thing to do. When you do that, you will meet people who are really excited to meet your fantasy version of yourself instead of the real you. You might as well call yourself Superman or Supergirl.

Are you somebody whose Internet persona is 40 pounds lighter, because you want to meet someone and you believe that once you meet people you can convince them that you’re on magical diet that’s going to instantly get rid of 40 pounds off your body? Are you a 46 year old woman who puts that she is 38 years old on her online profile because you believe that men your age won’t want to date you?

Are you one of those men who puts that he is 37 years old (when you are really 47 years old) because you’re stuck on wanting to date 20 year old girls who don’t particularly want to date you? What should you do? Date some women who are in great shape and in your age group!

Also, why don’t you take better care of yourself so that maybe you’ll attract the kind of woman you want? It’s amazing how many men I’ve interviewed who say that they only want to date women who are in great shape, but they themselves have not hit a gym in about ten years.

You get who you are in life. If I didn’t work out, and I was flabby and overweight, I wouldn’t expect my girlfriend to be in great shape because that is not who I would be. Life is a mirror.

If you want someone in great shape, then get yourself in great shape. Want someone who is well-read? Read. If you want someone who wants to travel the world with you, then find someone else who travels.

Life works that way, and it works that way on the Internet as well as in real life. It’s amazing, though, how many men will criticize women’s bodies when their own body looks like it hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in 20 years. If you work out, you will get a person who works out.  

You get who you are because it’s all about common interests.  I could never be with someone who doesn’t take care of themselves because I would think they were lazy. I can’t be around lazy people because they annoy me.

Then again, if I was with someone who worked out ten times a day, that would also drive me up the wall. I cannot be with the female version of Lance Armstrong. I don’t want to go on a 75-mile bike ride on a Sunday.  Maybe a seven and a half mile ride, but 75 miles is not my idea of fun.

The Internet gives you an opportunity to really describe who you are, so stop trying to find the fantasy version of you and start dealing with the reality version of you.  Be proud of who you are. Be proud of your accomplishments . . . just don’t list them all in the first five lines of your profile.

Be careful what you put out there when you’re dating online. If you’re not having good luck dating online, the reason very well might be that you are misrepresenting yourself. If you are then, really, you are not going to get what you want.

Liars never seem to get what they want in life. They always get exposed.

If you want to learn how to master online dating, how to write an amazing online profile, and how to find and ATTRACT the women you most want (and STOP attracting them women you don’t want to meet), then be sure to check out my Men’s “Secrets Of Online Dating” product.

On the internet, the majority of people are ‘athletic and toned,’ yet we live in a country where most people don’t work out.

It seems like the internet is always bucking all trends. There’s a ton of women on the internet that are 39 years old but yet there are no women that are 40 or 41. It seems like everyone wants to remain 39, 29, 49 – no one wants to cross over to the 4-0, 3-0, or 5-0!

Internet dating is really interesting because to succeed there, you should really put up an array of photos of yourself. The fact is that you look exactly the way you do. There’s no denying that. You can’t just check a box that says ‘athletic and toned’ when you’re not, because eventually you’ll have to show up on the date and the other person is going to see that you’ve never worked out.

You’re not going to be able to convince them – you won’t become a date salesman who sits there and convinces someone to like the body type they don’t like, or to become attracted to you when they aren’t.

So the best thing to do is to put up five pictures of yourself: three body shots (I’m not talking naked ones, or bikini shots, or muscle shots for guys) but three shots where you are standing head to toe. Three current shots that show exactly what you look like today, so there are no surprises.

The reason that most dates don’t work out is because the person was afraid to put up a picture because they didn’t like the way their body looked. They then go on the date, the other person isn’t attracted to them, and they don’t call them back. You can eliminate that step – why go out on so many first dates when you are misrepresenting yourself?

The fact is that you should be proud of who you are. Your body is your body. It’s exactly what it’s going to be, and you shouldn’t compare it to anybody else. You need to embrace it. So put yourself up there on the net, be who you are, and don’t try to sell yourself like a used car!

It’s funny, when I look for used cars, I’m always weary of the car that only has one picture up of it. Doesn’t she want to seduce me? Doesn’t she want me to take her for a test drive? Shouldn’t I see the wheels and the shiny inside? Shouldn’t I see the leather interior? I hate looking at a used car that the owner says is in absolutely perfect condition, and there are rips on the leather seats. You don’t want to be the car that has the rips on the leather seats.

You want to show everyone who you are. Get a friend, take a few pictures, smile, and be proud of who you are.

You know what? In the long run, you’re going to attract a lot more people doing it this way, and you won’t have to worry about what body type box you need to check off. If they see you, they’ll know what type of body you have!

Whenever you are on the subway – the tube in England – or in a crowded restaurant, and a British person bumps into you, they will immediately look at you and say, “sorry,” or “pardon me,” or “excuse me.” But Americans seem to have this incredible lack of knowledge about the term “excuse me” or the word “sorry.”

So I was walking through the crowd at the Coldplay show and this woman walks directly towards me. I looked at my buddy and I said, “I bet you a bottle of water,” (since we’re both such big drinkers,) “that she doesn’t say excuse me. I bet you she will just walk right into me and I’ll just stop.”

I’m walking towards her, I stop right in front of her, and she walks right into me. I looked at her, and I said, “excuse me!” and she didn’t say a word. I looked at her again and said, “the term is ‘excuse me.’ If you use this term, people will get out of your way.”

She looks at me again, and then walks into me again. I said, “the term is ‘excuse me,’ right? Did anyone ever teach it to you?” So she looked at me one more time, said, “I have to go find my friends,” and I said, “that’s not very close to ‘excuse me.’” She responded, “get out of my way?” And I said, “well, I guess that’s close enough!”

And I was thinking to myself: is this an isolated incident? I realized that it’s not.

I was recently in Sante Fe, New Mexico, a great, laid-back, beautiful mountain town. I was with a British friend of mine in Whole Foods. I said to her, “god, it’s like nobody says ‘excuse me’ here!” We had been walking by the salad bar, and a woman grabbed the utensils next to us, picks up the lettuce, dropping a piece onto my plate – and doesn’t even say a word! She didn’t say ‘excuse me’ or anything.

So I said to my friend, “let’s just walk right in the middle and when people are coming down with their carts, let’s just walk directly towards them and see if they say excuse me first.” Not once did anybody say ‘excuse me.’

What’s up with the manners? I just don’t get it! Are we so self-involved? Are we so caught up in our own little world? Are we thinking that we are the only person that exists?

I always say ‘excuse me.’ Good manners are really attractive.

Now the question that I’m going to pose to all of you today is this: are you an ‘excuse me’ person, a ‘pardon me’ person, or, anonymously, are you one of those people that don’t say a single thing? You just walk right through people, not saying ‘excuse me’ and you have no manners?

There seem to be a lot of you types running around, and I don’t understand the epidemic that seems to be spreading around the country. We’re going to start getting people to say ‘excuse me’ again.

People no longer have approach anxiety, but excuse me anxiety!

Match.com. What does David have to say about match.com? Or Yahoo personals? Or any one of the number of online dating sites?

This is an open letter to all of you who are paranoid as hell to post your profile on an online dating site:

Wake up! The number one excuse that people give for not putting themselves on a dating site is that they are so afraid that someone is going to find out.

Let me tell you something: if somebody finds out, then they are on that dating site too!

Let’s say that you are in the office and that hot girl you were attracted to but afraid to talk to walks over to you and says, “hey Jim, I saw your profile on match.com.”

What are you going to do in that situation? You’re going to look at her and say, “really? I didn’t know you were on match.com too?”

She’s only going to come over and tell you that she saw your profile if she’s somewhat interested. She’s not going to come over and say, “I saw your profile on match.com, what are you doing on there?” The same thing that you’re doing on there – trying to meet somebody! You don’t need to defend yourself, because she’s on there too!

Everyone is so afraid that somebody is going to see their profile online – but if somebody recognizes you from match.com and approaches you in public, it means that they are attracted to you and want to talk to you! Otherwise, they wouldn’t say anything, they would just run and hide.

I’ve seen people walking around whose profiles on match.com I’ve seen when I’ve been doing profile work for clients. I’ve seen their pictures and their profiles, and I’ll look at them and I’ll hide – because I don’t want to talk to them! I don’t feel like walking over to them and saying, “hey, the other day I was looking at your profile on match.com, and I didn’t know that you liked to run naked through the rain.”

The great thing about posting your profile on online dating sites is that it is now socially accepted. Put your picture online – who cares? It doesn’t matter. You want people to know that you’re single.

It’s so funny that people complain all of the time about being single, but then they try to hide the fact that they are single. They go to a party and someone asks, “so, you’re single?” And they respond, “yeah, I’m single” in a depressed voice, rather than saying, “yeah, I’m single. Do you know any great people to introduce me to?”

People are so afraid to put it out there. Being on the internet is now socially acceptable. Get yourself on a dating site. Yes, I’m sure I’ll get a ton of comments and emails about how there are crazy people online – but there are crazy people everywhere!

I see crazy people online all the time. The other night we were doing an internet product – which I will release soon, it’s fantastic! It’s a two-hour audio with what is right now about a 75-page book accompanying it about how to date online. It’s my first full online dating product besides Girls Tell All: Secrets of Online Dating.

And it was great – it happened at the end of a bootcamp, we recorded the whole session with a bunch of guys, and I just walked them through how to date online.

So during this evening, I was on jdate.com – yeah I am a New York Jew, whatever! I have my profile up on a couple of dating sites because it’s fun and I learn a lot. I can write things. Most of it is research, but I have gone out on a few internet dates.

So I’m on this site, and a woman IMs me. We’re basically just chatting away, and she’s saying, “yeah, I just don’t really meet anybody online, I don’t know what it is,” while she’s chatting with me. You don’t meet anybody online because you have a bad attitude!

You have to realize that people are on there, and you can shop. It’s so great. It’s like midnight right now, and we can just shop for people online.

Patrick, what are you in the mood for right now? Would you like a brunette?

Patrick: I like blondes, personally.

David: Alright, a blonde. So why don’t we get on yahoo.com right now and go find some blondes. It’s like a convenience store for people, 24 hours a day!

You can even click and see who is online right now and find people. It’s instantaneous and fun.

For those of you who have never tried online dating, you really need to listen to this audio series that I will release soon. In two hours of audio, I’m going to tell you all the ins and outs of online dating, and you’ll have a blast online.

Online dating is like going to 7-11 – for people!

Todays video is all about how to have fun when meeting the opposite sex. Stop chasing and being so uptight when you meet the opposite sex.

I recently had an opportunity to work with a woman who was having a long distance romance with someone she met on the Internet. What I like about the Internet as a way to meet people is that it’s convenient, easy, can be done in the comfort of your own home, and allows you to get a lot of information about someone to help you know if you want to try and meet them.

So as a whole, I think Internet dating is a fantastic way to go out and meet new and exciting people to date. Here is the problem, though, with Internet dating: some people are not who and what they claim to be.

This issue arises most often when you’re in a long-distance relationship with someone. Usually when you meet someone on the Internet who lives far away, you will first converse via email, then you’ll talk on the phone, and finally you’ll set up some type of rendezvous. While this rendezvous will occasionally take place in one of the two people’s home town, most often it will be set to occur in what I like to call “neutral territory.”

So if you are in this situation, whether it’s a long distance relationship or not, how do you know whether the person who you’ve been dating long distance is everything they say they are? How do you know they’re not married? How do you know they don’t have another family? Or, how do you know they don’t have another girlfriend or boyfriend (or two or three . . . )?

Here are 5 warning signs which likely mean that you are dating someone who is not exactly who or what they claim to be:

1. They Provide Limited Information. The first thing you want to do when you meet someone on the Internet, especially someone who is long distance, is get a complete picture of the other person. A lot of times when you meet people on the Internet, it’s very easy for them to pick and choose which things they want you to know. So, for example, they might only want to talk about certain topics (e.g., music, art and working out) while they are very reluctant to discuss other things. What else are they about? Are they just about those certain things or is there a lot more you don’t know about them? A lot of times if you connect with someone about one or two things, its really easy to overlook everything else. So ask yourself, do I really know this person? Is there more to them? Do I know anything about their family or friends? This is very important. Some of the people you meet online are very careful not to reveal any information about their friends. Or, if they do, they are very vague about who their friends are or what they do with their friends. If you are a woman and the man you’ve been talking to keeps telling you about his “friend” Monica with whom he goes out to the movies but about whom he is otherwise vague, you need to probe him about it. If the person is not giving you any details on the kind of activities they’re doing with their friends or one particular friend, you might want to start wondering if they are hiding something from you.

2. They Never Invite You Over. Another red flag that someone you’ve met on the Internet isn’t who or what they claim to be, is if they don’t invite you to their home after you’ve been dating for awhile. A lot of the people who have something to hide, even when they do invite you over, may insist that you always call to confirm before you come to their place. Why is it such a big deal? I understand in the beginning you want to be polite and respectful and not make impromptu appearances at someone’s front door, but if you’re really dating – even if it’s long distance – there is no reason you should not be able to just “stop by” and surprise them for a visit. Do they always get mad if you show up unexpected? While I wouldn’t say that you have to go to their place unexpected all the time, there is a balance where you should feel comfortable showing up at each other’s homes without worrying that doing so will make the other person angry.

3. They Don’t Give You Key Information. The next warning sign would be to look at another aspect of someone not giving you the complete picture of themselves. While it is normal in the beginning of a relationship not to discuss things like your finances with each other, it is a warning sign if you know nothing about how they handle their lifestyle. A lot of times I don’t know exactly what my personal friends do for a living, but I still always know how they conduct their lives, how they make their money and whether they are responsible with their money. Not every detail of course – just very broad strokes. If you’re dating a person and you’ve never heard anything about how they pay for things or how comfortable they are with their financial situation, that might be a warning sign. Why are they hiding something that is so simple? Having a common viewpoint about money is a key aspect to being happy with a partner.

4. You Haven’t Heard Of Or Met Any Of Their Friends. Another warning sign you might want to look at is if you haven’t met or heard of any of the other person’s friends. Even if you’ve heard general mention of friends, you should be concerned if you haven’t ever seen any of them (if you’re not in a long distance situation) or if the other person has kept their social circle completely vague. If so, then once again you need to ask yourself what they are not telling you. Are they only wanting you for one specific thing? Are they only wanting you to know one side of them because they’re afraid that if you find out something else about their life that you might be turned off by it or you might not want to have anything to do with them? So again pay attention to the relationships these people have and pay attention to the surroundings in which they live.

5. They Are Inconsistent. Even though you may be strongly enamored with this person, do you still notice inconsistencies in their behaviors or in their stories? A lot of times when we really like a person, we neglect to pay attention to the small details. We just see what we want to see, because we project on them our hopes and dreams about who they are. Sometimes when you’re in a new relationship, it’s easy to imagine the other person to be the perfect man or the perfect woman you want them to be. All fantasy aside, though, do you still see contradictions in the other person’s stories? Do you see contradictions in the things have or do in their lives? Do they tell you they want a certain goal, but all of their actions seem to be completely contradictory to that? This perhaps is another warning sign that they may be hiding something from you. It also may be a warning sign to that person’s real behavior patterns or personality. They may not have their life together as they’ve told you.

These are just some of the warning signs you may notice when you’re in a relationship with someone you met on the Internet. If you are in a long distance relationship with someone you met on the Internet, then you need to pay really close attention to these things.

If you don’t really pay attention to warning signs like these, especially when you’re pursuing a long distance relationship, you may end up spending your time in a fantasy-driven world that’s real only in your head.

There are a lot of people out there who are very lonely, There are also a lot of people out there who prey on people who are lonely. If your internal “radar” is telling you that something is a warning sign, don’t ignore it! It’s always better to err on the side of caution.

I do yoga once or twice a week with a private yoga instructor – yeah, that’s right, I’m very LA. I go to a yoga studio a few days a week and I have a private instructor the rest of the time.

Last Night during yoga, my yoga instructor Olivia and I were talking. We were talking about yoga and just life in general. I’ve been doing yoga for about two years now, and I have to tell you – before I started yoga I had hamstrings that were about as flexible as the 405. I had shoulders that if you pinned me back a certain way, not only would they not touch the ground – they would scream their way back up in the other direction.

After practicing yoga for a couple of years, each day my hamstring moves a little bit more. Each time I do yoga, my shoulders touch the ground a little bit more. Every day I get a little bit further in my practice.

Yoga is one of the most repetitive things in the world. You can do downward dog 14 times in a class – triangle pose eight times in a class – it’s not the most exciting thing in the world. But what it does is teach you that life is extremely repetitive.

Everything you do in life takes practice every single day. When Peyton Manning fades back to pass to Marvin Harrison, who then scores a touchdown in the corner of the in zone, it’s something they have practiced thousands of times before. Every time Johan Santana throws a strike – this is something he’s been practicing every day of his life to get better and better.

But how come when it comes down to meeting women, men will try one thing one time, and never do it again? How come when women go out and look at a man and smile, and the man doesn’t smile back, they say, “this doesn’t work! I’m never going to do this again.”

It seems like in dating and meeting the opposite sex, people don’t become repetitive. They tend to think that something is going to work once – and if it doesn’t, they’ll never do it again.

I was speaking at a seminar a couple of weeks ago and I told everybody that if they went out and observed everything in their life for five days, they’d be able to come up with their own openers to talk to people. One guy asked me if he had to do it for five days, and I responded, “no, you should be doing this every day of your life! Let’s start with five days, and work our way forward.”

Everything you do is repetitive. To become great at any job, you need to do the same things everyday. In order to become a major league pitcher, you need to throw the ball over and over again. In order to become a great lover, you need a lot of sexual practice. In order to become a great writer – like I am! – you need to write every single day (I hope you caught that joke). In order to cut hair well, you need to cut hair every single day.

You need to practice to become great at everything you do. If that’s true, then how come some of you get all of this great advice about how to meet women or men but you’re not out there doing this every single day?

Why do you expect to break the way life happens? In order to become great at something, you need to practice every single day.

Have you been practicing meeting people every single day? Or do you keep trying things in small spurts, and then keep buying other books to see whether or not you’ll finally find the magic pill?

If you meet women, go out there and talk to them everyday. If you want to meet men, do the same exact thing.

Stop complaining, start doing and realize that you cannot break the cycle of life. Practice, and you will be good at it.