I love my demons. It’s interesting, because to me living in the moment is the only way to go.

The only thing that really means anything is right now. Right now as I’m writing this blog, I’m staring at the mountains and the beach, and I’m thirsty. That’s all I’m feeling right now.

Maybe I’ll have other thoughts that come in later. When my girlfriend comes home, I’ll think about what I want to do.

You need to dial into that, and realize you won’t truly know what you want to do until you’re in the moment. You could try to plan things out, thinking maybe you want to grab dinner or have great sex, but you don’t know what’s going to happen later on.

So the only thing we have is the moment. If the phone rings and I answer it, then a new moment is created, and when I decide to pick up the phone then I will give that person 100% of my attention in that moment.

It’s really important for all of you to understand that the moment is all we have. When you’re out on a date, the only thing that you have right there in that moment is you and that person looking into each other’s eyes and talking.

If you think about how the date is going to end or how you want the date to end, then you’re not present in the moment. If you’re thinking about what happened with your last relationship, then you’re not present in the moment.

Another thing about living in the moment and processing it, is if something bothers you then you need to spit it out right at that moment. You can’t sit there arguing with your boyfriend or girlfriend and having it not feel right because you have something to say.

If you feel you need to take time to think something through and process it, then that’s fine. If you feel something in the moment that you want to share, though, don’t bury it.

Living in the moment to me means being able to say what’s on your mind 24/7, being able to stay connected to where you’re at, and being open to everything that’s presented to you at that time. It means being able to do all that without letting your mind wander and think.

How many of you have trouble staying present in the moment?

Whenever you talk to someone, you need to come away from that conversation with some personal information about them.

Ask yourself after each conversation, “What personal thing did I find out about this person?”

If your memory needs work, try using a digital recorder or start writing down what you remember. I tell this to guys all the time.

The fact is that the more you remember about people, the greater your chance is to bond with them in the future.

So after you talk to anyone, ask yourself, “What did I discover about this individual personally? What did I learn?” This also trains your brain to think in this way, and it helps improve your memory.

Next time you run into that person (which you will!), you can start the conversation with something personal you learned the last time you both met.

For instance, we were just talking to some women who were trying to raise money for the homeless shelter. In a few weeks I might run into one of them again and say, “Oh, I saw you a few weeks ago outside Whole Foods. Have you reached your fundraising goal yet?”

It’s really important for you to remember things like that. Without a personal takeaway, you have no way of following up with someone that you want to speak to again!

It’s time to declare your outcome independence! Here are ways to lose your outcome dependence and attract more women by connecting with them:

1. Stop Being A Predator: You can’t possibly meet every woman you see. Virtually every guy I’ve ever coached have asked me how they can meet women who are walking toward them on the street. Think about this though. You’re walking down the street. You see a woman you find attractive who is also walking down the street. You’re both in a hurry. You all of a sudden become very outcome dependent – you want to meet her right now and get her phone number right now. Let me try to put it into perspective: When you’re in a rush walking down the street, do you like to be bothered? You can’t bother every single woman as she walks down the street by stopping her to ask her for her phone number. You need to realize that you can’t have every single woman you see simply because you find them attractive, because women will not be attracted to you unless you know how to also connect with them. So stop being a predator who chases women, and start attracting them by engaging them in conversations.

2. Good Mechanics Don’t Ensure Success: Just because you walked over to a woman and opened her with some amazing words of wisdom does not mean that she will want to go out with you. When you speak with a woman you need to listen very carefully to what she has to say, because it takes more than a clever opener to really get a woman to be interested in you. You need to pay really close attention to everything a woman says so you can initiate conversation topics about what’s already in her mind. You need to be able to not only engage her in conversation, but also to be able to take the conversation deeper. So just because you arrived on the scene and delivered a perfect opener does not mean that you’re going to get the phone number. It takes a lot more than just showing up in life to get that phone number from a woman.

3. Stay In The Moment: One of the most important things to do to stop being outcome dependent is to make a significant mindset shift. What this means is that when you are talking to a woman, you need to stop focusing on getting women’s phone numbers and start focusing more on staying present in the moment. A lot of men will ask a woman for her phone number and to go out on a date with him mere seconds after they approach and start talking to her. That is the very embodiment of being outcome dependent. Remember once again that in order to get a woman’s phone number you must first connect with her emotionally and in a way that will make her want to give you her phone number. One thing you’ll need to do to connect with women is to be willing to share something about yourself.

Think about this from a woman’s perspective. You’re a complete stranger who has approached her and asked her out … all in fifteen seconds or less. She will first wonder why you are asking her out, but since you know nothing else about her she will assume that you are only asking her out because you are physically attracted to her. Plus since she knows nothing about you, she is unlikely to agree to give you her phone number. So if you want to connect with women when you meet them, you are going to have to spend some time being in the moment with them. Putting in this time also allows both of you to see if you even like each other. Plus, if you’ve been in the moment and connected with a woman when you meet her, if she does give you her phone number she will be excited to get your call (instead of feeling about you like she does about most telemarketers).

4. There Is No Call Back Guarantee: Just because you were able to get a woman’s phone number does not mean that she will call you back after you’ve called her. It is a simple fact of life that there are some women who will give out their phone number just because a man asks for it and regardless of whether she actually is interested in having him call her. There are other women who may genuinely be interested in you when they give you their phone number, but may decide later (due to changing their mind or meeting someone else) that they are not so interested in talking to you, and thus may not return your call when you call them. So to increase your odds of getting a call back, make sure you connect with a woman emotionally before you ask for her phone number. That will greatly increase the chances she will call you back. If a woman for whatever reason does not call you back, don’t take it personally. That happens to everyone. Just move on to meeting someone else. There’s always another woman to meet.

So are you a guy who believes that if you get a woman’s phone number that she is going to be your next girlfriend (or might even be “the one”)? Are you also a guy who believes that if that same woman doesn’t call you back that you must not have said the right thing when you approached her? If so, then you like so many men are very outcome dependent.

So many men perceive approaching a woman like a rite of passage which entitles them to favorable responses from the women they’ve approached. This is the outcome dependent mentality. It’s time to declare your outcome independence!

Understand that you may have to approach a lot of women before you find one who really relates to you. Also, the next time you walk up to a woman, don’t think about how badly you want to go out with her. Instead, get to know her first to see if you really do want to go out with her.

Its time we gave the women of our site the same treatment and great videos that the men get.

But first you all need to read about how ego ruins you.

Do you know what ruins the possibility of most relationships taking off?

Ego always ruins it.

Here you are, hanging out with a woman you’ve been out with three or four times. You’re getting along great, and you know it. You’re having a good time, and then all of a sudden, one of you gets scared – which always happens. Someone always gets scared.

So all of a sudden, she stops calling, or she doesn’t text you back right away. And what do you do?

Your ego works to protect yourself, and you basically say to yourself, fuck it – it’s not going to work out.

In reality, your ego was actually just protecting you from becoming even more vulnerable.

Then you rationalize to yourself by just submerging yourself in work or whatever it is. Your ego is just trying to protect yourself the whole time.

Life might just take one more phone call. Call that person out and say to them, “hey, what’s going on? I don’t get it. You and I were having a good time, and then you disappear. What’s going on?”

By calling somebody out on their shit, you’re going to get a response that will be far different than you ever imagined. Maybe she just needed that extra push.

Women like to feel safe. Maybe she did get a little bit scared, and when a woman gets scared, what does she want? She wants to be protected by her man.

A real man is going to make her feel protected and make her feel safe. That’s what women are craving – that feeling of safety and security. Women are nesters. Women are looking at you as a potential husband or father, and they want to feel very safe.

And by you saying, screw it, and just walking away, you proved to her that that little doubt that she had about you was 100% correct. Just because you didn’t want to become vulnerable and you had to protect your ego. You wanted to save face.

And who might you be saving face from? Her friends if she talks to them? If you call her and just tell her what’s up, she’s going to go to her friends and say: “Joe called, and he just wants to know what’s going on with me. What should I do?” If her friends know that she likes you, all her friends will be encouraging her to call you.

So your ego just protected you from nothing.

You have to lose the ego. If you really want a true, spectacular relationship, drop the ego. When you go to meet somebody, drop the ego. Stop worrying about what other people say and just live your life to the fullest every day by becoming vulnerable.

Todays video is all about how women can attract men everyday.

Do you know how to turn a woman on?

You turn her on by the way you walk, by the way you talk, and by the way you listen to her. You turn her on in the way that you are animated.

Every guy has one successful approach and then they think, oh man, next time I want to be able to escalate sexually. How do I do that?

It’s so ridiculous. You can’t do it! You’re not there yet. If you understood the true nature of sexuality, you would know that the way to really turn a woman on is through her mind.

When I first started doing this, there was no way in the world that I would touch women I don’t know like I do now. I was terrified – if I even got close to a woman I was freaked out.

You have to stop thinking about that sexual escalation – all you have to do is connect to her, talk to her, get her phone number – and you’ll have sex! You really will.

Women will start sleeping with you much more than you ever imagined – because you’re one of the few guys that has ever really listened.

So, you want to escalate? Find an escalator!

Client: So you’re saying that if you take the sex out of the equation, the sex will come?

David: Yeah. I never think about sex, ever. I even tell the guys that work for me that I could care less if I ever get laid again. And then they ask me what I did the night before, and I tell them, “well I just hung out with that girl and we had sex.” I just don’t think about it.

For women, sex starts in the mind. They don’t have a dick that gets hard every time the wind blows. They don’t get hard looking at pictures. They don’t think, “oh wow, a naked guy!” Pictures alone don’t turn them on.

They do get turned on by your mind and by your presence. Your confidence turns them on. That’s what it takes – confidence. It’s the way you walk, it’s the way you talk, and it’s the way you move.

If you approach a woman and touch her randomly just to “escalate,” she’s going to look at you like you’re a fucking creep. If you’re all nervous and your hands are shaking towards her, she’s going to think, oh my god, a human vibrator!

You just can’t think that way. I see guys doing this all the time. It’s like a robot – you can see the exact awkward point where they decide to escalate sexually. They think, okay, we’ve been talking for 30 seconds, now I’m going to go touch her to escalate sexually.

And these men are so stiff and uncomfortable. How does that turn her on?