What the hell is David Wygant talking about today? Here’s what: When you just take a “ready, set, send” approach to texting, sending those words into cyberspace and onto somebody else’s phone, so many times it just comes out as gibberish.

I’ll tell you something, I’ve seen lots of peoples’ text writings, because I’ve approached a lot of guys and my friends have shared with it, and I’ve also probably, in my lifetime, done my share of text writing. But I’ve got to tell you something — it’s ridiculous. When you send something via text message, it is the most misinterpreted message out there. You’ve got to re-read it several times to figure out really what the hell is this person saying. Are they crazy? Have they lost their minds?

Cat Fights Over Texting

Be careful what you send on text. A lot of people don’t understand that. A lot of texts get misinterpreted consistently. That’s why there’s a lot of text fighting going on. E-mail’s the same way.

If you ever want to talk to somebody and really find something out, I suggest you do it verbally. Face-to-face of course is always the best, but if you can’t be face-to-face, then I do suggest you do it over the phone.

Be careful with texting though, because it will get thrown back in your face over and over and over again. Right now as I’m writing this, a friend of mine is getting a text figuring out, what the hell did his girlfriend just send him. Why is she talking such incredible gibberish?

What’s the worst text fight you’ve ever gotten involved with? I’d love to hear about it today.

So many men and women head to the bars on a Friday night with some really high expectations.

Not only that, with some really bad advice on how to meet each other.

So I called Shogo up and since he was and still is a Bartender in one of the nations hippest cities, he would be the man to give all of you some great advice to succeed in bars.

Or as so many people call it. Night Game.

When I hear the term night game I picture lights like in a baseball park over your head and a crowd of fans cheering you on.

Every Friday, we will explore the magic of nights.

Without any more fanfare here is Shogo’s thoughts for today.

Hey guys, Shogo here.

As you regular readers of the blog know, David Wygant is not the biggest fan of going out to bars and getting drunk on the weekends just to meet new people. And to be quite honest, I agree with him. If you’re looking to meet new people to go on dates with, to find someone you actually connect with and have something in common with, bars and clubs may not be the best place for you to do that. It really depends on the person. Plus, getting wasted on $10 vodka tonics just to get up the courage to talk to some girl or have some drunk dude hit on you in a crowded sweaty room doesn’t exactly scream “romance.”
But I do know that for a lot of us, especially the younger generation, going out on the weekends is just another part of being a social person. It’s another way to get out there, to gain confidence in yourself, to practice your communication skills, and really just meet a variety of new people.

Approach This Woman, Do You Have The Game To Do It?

Guys, I’ll let you in on something: a bar is not my favorite place to hang out, but I’ve been going out to bars for a long time, all over the world. I’ve been a bartender. I’ve managed bars. I know the ins and outs. I haven’t cracked any secret code, and I don’t have a miraculous system for you to memorize. What I have is a TON of real-world experience and knowledge to share with you guys to really help you make sense of the “Friday Night Bar Scene” that can often be very confusing and intimidating. And with all the information circulating on the internet, sometimes it can just get even more

So we’re starting a new tradition here on the blog! Each and every Friday, to get you guys ready for the weekend, I’m going to give you tidbits of real information designed to help you understand and navigate the waters of the weekend bar scene. Feel free to share your own experiences, you can react, you can add to what I say, and feel free to disagree with me too. I’m looking forward to reading your comments!

You know it’s funny, every time I’m out with clients at a bar, they inevitably ask me what my “strategy” is for meeting people at a loud noisy place full of drunk people. I’ve never had a strategy. Never needed one. My only “strategy” is to be a little different than everyone else.

How do I do this? How do I act different? When I go out, I’m friendly to everyone. If you’re friendly with everyone, you actually are being different. If you’re friendly, you’re going to have a good time and people around you will start to open up to you.

The bar scene really is a very odd phenomenon. For some reason, people get the urge to become unfriendly the minute they walk into a bar. Friday Happy Hour, everyone’s having fun and being cordial. Friday night at the restaurants, people are having a good time and socializing. Then all of a sudden, once 10 pm hits and people get all dressed up and set foot into bar or club—BAM! Like clockwork, people start getting all tense and take on a fake air of coolness.

People huddle in their groups and get a really stiff, serious face. I call this the “Friday Night Game Face.” Guys and girls both, we’re all guilty of this. We have to put our game faces on, because, God forbid anyone catch us off guard not appearing ridiculously, ridiculously good-looking. God forbid we let loose a little and actually have a good time.

The truth is that we all want to have a good time when we’re out. We all want to let loose and meet new people. We all want to be approached. What’s really going on here is that most people are just insecure and afraid to make the first move. Everyone’s afraid that if they fail, they’re going to look stupid in front of the crowd. Everyone’s egos are so inflated on Friday nights that it’s suffocating.

Last weekend I went out with two clients to a large bar that had a lot of dancing. Inevitably they asked me what kind of strategy we should use, even after I told them that our strategy is called “be friendly and have a good time.” With that I walked over to two girls and introduced myself. One of the girls mumbled something and immediately pulled out her iPhone and started furiously texting away. I looked at her, looked at her friend with a smile and a wink, and said, “Well, I’ll talk to you guys later,” and turned away. I turned to my clients and said, “No biggie, those girls just had their Friday night game faces on. Let’s go find some friendly women.” And we did. But lo and behold, about 15 minutes later, the same two girls ran up to us like they were our best friends and we all had a great time.

What really happened here was that these two girls actually wanted to talk to us. They wanted to get to know us, but most people have their game faces on and are just not friendly. They just needed someone to show them that there are friendly people who don’t care about the competitive weekend bar attitude and who they can just let loose and have fun with. They probably went to the bathroom together and said, “Hey, that guy who approached us actually seemed really nice. He was confident and he wasn’t pushy. Let’s go talk to him!”

So what do you need to do this weekend? You need to leave all that game face crap at the door. Understand that people may look unfriendly, they may look like they don’t want to be approached, but it’s really just an act. You need to take the initiative and show others that it’s ok to come out and take off the game face. Be friendly right from the get-go. Smile. Show that you’re not in competition for “who’s cooler than who,” that you don’t really care about all that and you’re just having a good time and out to meet new people.

Are you a twitter junkie?

Do you read short words and statements from people you do not even know?

Are you so obsessed with Twitter that you are on your smart phone tweeting away all day?

Have you even been called a Twit for tweeting to much?

Instead of actually doing face to face time with friends, you spend your face time on your i phone or android phone tweetering.

Anyway you get my point.

Check out today’s video to see if you can pass the Twitter test.

Four ways I think texting is great:

1) “See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe’s Restaurant.” It’s great for confirming things.
2) “Did you get home safely?” It’s great as a good night kiss.
3) “What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.” It’s great to reconfirm things.
4) It’s great for late at night when you lob in the “What are you doing right now …?” text. It’s a wonderful way to have verbal foreplay late at night when you’re looking to connect with a lover or a booty call.

Texting is all about short conversations. However, texting can get ugly.

Here are the seven ways that texting can get you into trouble:

1) Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is joke, and they don’t read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back.

2) Texting is NOT intended to cancel a date. If you want to see somebody again, you need to call them and change the plans. Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them or not.

3) Don’t ask someone out via text message. Women especially can’t stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I’ve spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. And they all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you’re interested, have some balls and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they prefer if you call them.

4) If you had a great date the night before, don’t text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There’s no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don’t want to look overanxious.

5) Once you’ve texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation.

6) Just because you texted them, doesn’t mean they’re going to respond. Here’s another thing about texting. You’re texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don’t respond back. They may have gotten on the phone . . . they may have fallen asleep . .. or they may have gone into a meeting. But because texting is so impersonal, you don’t know what happened to them.

7) Let’s say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and . . . now it’s Friday and they still haven’t texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask all of you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in . . . or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven’t heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. The old AT&T commercial was the best: “Reach out and touch someone.” You never know what they’re response is going to be. Most of the time you’re going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you’re going to get your answer. That’s what dating is all about . . . getting answers. Plus, you won’t drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.

There’s a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of this I just wrote will help you navigate the fun side of text dating, and help you avoid the bad side of text dating.

Texting is a great way for a little verbal foreplay to stay connected in someone’s life. It’s not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you’re hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact T-Mobile (which I use) and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!

By the way, if you really want to understand more about the does and dont’s of texting click here.

It just seems like the new generation is so technology-reliant when it comes down to dating, that they don’t even understand the art of communication.

I’m going to share the email, then I’m going to tell you why I was so outraged by it. A 17 year-old kid wrote this to me:

“David,

I’m a 17 year-old guy who’s a little confused about what to do. To start off with, I was working the High School Football game with my teammates and we ran into a group of girls that one of them knew. They were pretty much drunk, and one of them started talking to me. She wasn’t wasted, but she wasn’t sober. After I got her number, then my teammates got her to make out with me. We did it a few other times.

After I got home, I texted her a little bit and she responded a few times. We had a nice little text chat. The next day, I sent her three different messages, trying to start a conversation. They were all about four hours apart. Today, asked her how her soccer tournament went. She never responded to any of them. I read on another site that some women want guys to call them, but it seems almost creepy to me, that with texting, I should outright call them up.

Anonymous”

Alright, there are several things we could comment on about this email. We could question how a 17 year-old is out at the High School game drinking and getting drunk. Let’s not be one of ‘those adults’ though. Many of us were drinking when we were 17 years old — maybe not at the football game, but probably a beer here and there at least.

Let’s also for purposes of this blog ignore the terrible grammar and the way this kid writes, because the education system in this country is a mess and we all know that. Our kids are not getting the education that they need, so they can’t even craft an email with sentences that make coherent sense.

Let’s put those couple of things aside. I want to talk about what he said in this email. I want to talk about how he thinks that calling someone up is “creepy.”

The younger generation has become so text-reliant. Actually, it’s not just the younger generation. There are a lot of people I know who are in their 20′s, 30′s — and even in their 40′s — who have become really text-reliant.

Even more specifically, so many people have become so text-reliant when it comes to dating that they don’t even call each other anymore. They don’t even ask someone out on a date in person or live on a call. They text someone to ask them out on a date.

Life is about experiencing emotions. Life is about exchanging emotions. Life is about hearing each other’s voice.

Life is about getting on the phone and learning about each other. It’s not about having short, choppy little text sentences (or more often than not text phrases) going back and forth.

We’ve become so lazy in dating that all we do now is text one another. We don’t even talk anymore. I am in my late 40′s, and I know all of you who are close to my age are probably shaking your head right now and thinking, “Bring back the good old days when we just got on the phone and called each other!”

Here’s an open message to all men reading this: Stop being lazy! If you get a woman’s phone number, call her up on the phone and talk to her. Ask her out properly. That’s what women are looking for from a man.

To the women, if a man is texting you too much then tell him flat out that he is doing that. You know how trainable we men are, so just tell a man who is over-texting to stop it. Say to him, “Call me! Let’s talk like two human beings.”

We have become so technology-based that we have forgotten the art of talking to each other. Next time you go out on a date, why don’t you just text each other the whole date. Sit across from each other with your iPhone and just text each other, because that’s all a lot of you are doing anyway.

So as I’m driving, the woman driving next to me keeps alternating between driving 20 mph and 40 mph and 20 mph and 40 mph. The reason? She is texting while she drives.

Texting and driving is such a safe thing to do. Really a brilliant idea.

All sarcasm aside, texting while driving is one of the most dangerous things to do. In the State of California, you get a $300.00 ticket if you get caught texting while driving. People still do it nonstop anyway.

Is it really that important to carry on a conversation with somebody, that you are willing to not be paying attention to the road when you’re driving? As I look in my rearview mirror, I see that woman who is texting in the car next to me is now about 400 yards behind me because she still hasn’t noticed that a traffic light turned green.

Not only is she not paying attention, but there is a whole clump of cars trying to get around her since she is still stopped at the green light. All of this she is causing because she feels compelled to text while she is driving.

What she is doing, to me, is really rude. Driving is about getting from one place to another, and is not about holding up all the people behind you trying to do.

I don’t care if you have a hot date or are carrying on some hot sexting conversation or talking to a friend of yours. Texting is not really a conversation anyway. Get an earpiece and talk to them live on a call if you absolutely have to talk to someone while you’re driving.

I’m all about manners. I really am. I am also all about being very aware of other people around me.

You will never see me holding up a checkout line in a supermarket because I didn’t bother to start writing out a check until after all the groceries had been scanned. You’ll never see me not having already swiped by credit card by the time all the groceries are scanned, so that I can get out of there quickly. Life is about being very aware of other people that are around you, yet so many people act like the world is theirs.

Even putting aside the manners aspect of texting and driving, there is a major safety issue with texting and driving. You can’t possibly be totally aware of what the car in front of you is doing when you’re looking down and typing on your phone.

What if a dog crosses the street in front of your car? What if the car in front of you stops abruptly? You will not be able to stop.

People who text and drive always think this will never happen to them. They always think that it only happens to other people.

Wake up everyone! It’s dangerous out there on the road. So pay full attention and stop being so self-absorbed. We live in such a self-absorbed society.

I coach people all the time to be very self-aware, because I truly believe that if you are not that you are going to miss all kinds of opportunities to meet people. The people who text and drive, and the people who don’t start writing their check until after all the groceries are scanned, are all not being self-aware.

I bet those are the people who have trouble meeting people. There are great people to meet every day, but it takes being self-aware and realizing that you are not the only person on the planet to be able to meet them.

By the way, I wrote this blog while I was driving — but I didn’t type it into my phone. I have a Bluetooth. No, not one of those Spock ear looking things that make you look like you hail from another planet, but an actual phone I sync up with my car so I can sit and talk while I’m driving.

Of course, people driving by me look at me like I’m a crazy person since it looks like I’m talking out loud to no one. At least the people who are looking at me are aware of other people around them though.

To learn how to text and get a woman to do ANYTHING via texting, please visit my Guy’s Guide To Texting.

Technology is amazing. It really is. Technology can really simplify certain things.
That part of technology is great and amazing.

I mean, I can go away on vacation or a business trip and be able to access all my emails from my iPhone. Then when I return, I’m no longer inundated with phone messages and emails because I was able to address a lot of them while I was gone.

With the Internet, I can stay in touch with people I probably never would otherwise. I can post blogs on my BlackBerry or iPhone. There are so many things we can do so much more easily now with technology.

There are some of the simpler things in life which are gone with all the current technology, however, that I do miss. I was listening to an ‘American Top 40′ show on the 70s station of my satellite radio. Listening to some of those songs brought back a lot of memories.

Remember the days when you were dating and you called someone on a pay phone, and the operator would keep coming on the phone asking you to deposit another $0.35? So many times you wouldn’t have any more change but you didn’t want the phone call to end, so you’d start checking the phone and the ground for lost change. For those of you who don’t remember this, allow me a minute to reminisce.

The problem with the whole pay phone thing as someone who was living in New York City, was that pay phones were generally pretty disgusting. The smell of the mouthpiece alone was always repulsive. That part of “simpler” times I don’t miss at all!

What I do miss is coming home to an answering machine and seeing who called you when you were gone. With cell phones and everything right at your fingertips, you don’t get to experience that feeling you got when you came home to a blinking light on an answering machine (signaling that you had messages).

I remember meeting someone and coming home hoping to see that blinking light, and then arriving home to find either no blinking light or that the blinking light was a message from someone else. It was part of dating — that anticipation about the answering machine.

There was no *69. You couldn’t just pick up the phone, dial *69 and see who called you. There was no Caller ID so you couldn’t even see the phone number of that girl who called you but didn’t leave a message.

Dating was more about guessing. You’d wonder, “When is this person going to call? How long are they going to wait to call me?”

Back then if you were in a relationship and got into a fight, you’d be out with your friends and be calling on your answering machine and having to put in your “secret code” to check your messages (and see if your significant other had called). I remember how much fun it was to have a secret code.

Answering machines “voices” back then sounded so mechanical. That voice telling you how many messages you had didn’t resemble a human voice in any way.

I also used to change my answering machine message constantly. I’d change the song I’d put on there and my greeting depending on my mood. I always wanted to create a good listening experience for the women who called me.

One time I had the theme song from “The Brady Bunch” on my answering machine message and came home to about 37 hang-up “clicks” on my answering machine. When I answered the phone the next time the phone rang, i asked the woman on the phone if she was the one who had been calling and hanging up, and she said it was her and that she just wanted to hear that Brady Bunch song over and over again.

Those were some good times. They were simpler times.

Technology certainly is great. With technology you can cruise the Internet. You can go on a website like match.com and meet someone amazing from somewhere across the country, and you can communicate in real time with anyone in the world. You can get a phone call when you’re driving and not have to wait until you’re home.

What you miss with all this technology and instant results is the suspense you used to have with things. It was like Christmas and waiting to see what Santa brought you. You’d come home and be excited to see if you got a message and, if so, from whom. Sometimes you were happy because it was that woman you called earlier, and other times you were a little disappointed because it was just your friend leaving you a message.

I wouldn’t want to go back in time and be without all the awesome technology of today, but I think it would be fun to be able to go back in time for a week or so and get to re-experience all that great anticipation I used to feel. What do you miss that is gone now because of technology? Share with me your favorite story.
Also, share with me your favorite answering machine story or the thing you miss most from when you were young and dating.

The perfect summer date!!

Anyway lets talk today about the convenience that things like cell phones, iPhones and BlackBerrys afford us, there is one major drawback: Our constant attention to them may be putting a serious dent in our love lives. There are so many people who spend virtually all day every day giving their cell phone, iPhone or BlackBerry 100% of their attention. Those people are missing opportunities to meet people every day, and in fact may not be meeting people at all.

These are likely the same people, by the way, from whom I receive emails daily complaining that they never see anyone to meet. The irony is that those people are being honest when they say they don’t see anyone to meet . . . but it’s not because people aren’t there. They are victims of “self cell phone sabotage.”

I don’t want any of you to be sabotaging yourselves from finding great connections all because of your cell phone. So to help you be aware if you unknowingly killing your love life by “self cell phone sabotage,” here are 6 ways your phone may be ruining your dating life:

1. You’re Stopping Them Mid-Approach: You’re in a store where someone is checking you out – someone you’ve also noticed and found attractive. Then that someone decides to approach you, but the minute they take their first step in your direction, your phone rings . . . and you answer it. Not only do you answer it, but you proceed to have the same unimportant repetitive conversation with the friend who called you. By doing this, you have stopped someone who was already interested in you from approaching – and they probably won’t wait around to do it a second time.

2. You’re Totally Programmed: Let’s put you in that same store, and that same person you were attracted to walks right by you and smiles just as you receive a text message on your phone. What do you do? Instead of reacting to what’s going on around you and reciprocating with a smile, you react like Pavlov’s dog to the “ding” of the incoming text and immediately look at your phone to find out who texted you. Not only did you miss that person to whom you WERE attracted smiling at you, but by not acknowledging their smile that person will believe you are not interested and they will walk away (and likely never smile at you again).

3. You’re Never “Here”: You could be out with a group of your friends in a great place filled with people you would want to meet. Instead of being present and talking with the people with whom you’re with physically, you are spending the entire time and devoting 100% of your attention to a full-blown conversation you are having with another friend via text message on your BlackBerry. Meanwhile a man or woman that you may have been interested in comes over and starts talking to your group. You are so involved in your text message conversation that you don’t even notice he or she is there. When you don’t acknowledge that person, they will assume you’re not interested and will walk away.

4. It Never Occurs To You To Look: It’s not that you don’t leave the house. You are in the grocery store, the gym, the book store, the coffee shop, or the dry cleaners EVERY DAY. So when I hear people say that they “never see anyone” to meet, I know immediately that they’re not “seeing” anyone because they’re simply not looking. If people want to meet people so badly why aren’t they looking? Well because they allow you to do virtually everything right from the palm of your hand, many people never stop checking their email, making business calls, doing Internet research and sending text messages. So even though they’re out in public, they miss everything (and everyone) around them. They also never interact with anyone – they don’t look at people, smile at people or flirt with people. It it any wonder they’re not meeting anyone?

5. You Make Your Date A “Third Wheel”: You’ve met someone you think you might really like, and you go out on a date with them. So there you are enjoying their company and feeling like there might be an amazing potential connection. Then the red light on your phone starts flashing or your phone starts vibrating alerting you that a text message has just been received. What do you do? Despite the fact that you’re in the middle of a great date, you just can’t resist picking up your phone to see who sent you that text. When you do this, you immediately turn off the person with whom you’re on the date. Nobody likes having a date interrupted by text messages, and nobody likes to feel that their date’s attention is not focused on them. You’re date will feel like a “third wheel.” You’ve also shown your date that your first priority will always be your phone.

6. You’re Always Available But Never Free: When someone tells me that they don’t get approached, or that they never “see” anyone to meet, I know that most of the time this is because that person does not make themselves available. In the case of people who are glued to their cell phone, their BlackBerry or their iPhone, what is happening is that they are “available” in that they are in places where they can meet people but they aren’t ever free. People won’t approach them, because they always seem busy with whatever they’re doing on their phone. They also won’t ever notice potential opportunities to meet people because they never look up from their phone.

So while I love the flexibility and the convenience that my BlackBerry affords me in being able to conduct so many of my business and personal affairs from ANYWHERE, I want to caution everyone to not let them take over your whole life. By doing so, you may be unknowingly killing your dating life.

Start being conscious about how much time you are spending glued to your phone, and try to avoid behaviors like these. Just think how many people you may have completely missed who wanted to meet YOU. Start paying attention to what’s going on LIVE around you. You won’t believe what (and who) you’ve been missing!

Not only that, but Verizon has the WORST rates when you travel internationally. When I’m traveling abroad, the last thing I want to do is roam on some ridiculous network when T-Mobile is worldwide.

But this blog is not about cell phone service – if it were, I would talk about the new, cool, exciting phones that have just come out and why I don’t have an iPhone. Do you know why I don’t use the iPhone? Because I can use my BlackBerry Pearl and type on it with one hand – I get 400 emails a day – and I can whip right through them.

If I had the iPhone, I’d have to dance around with my pointer finger and try to find everything. I like the fact that it has really fun little graphics, but I sit in front of my 24” Mac all day – I don’t need to be on the internet while I’m driving!

Then again, sitting in LA traffic is so bad, I could probably use the time to be on the internet, but I’d rather be cursing at the people in front and to the sides of me who are staring and almost running into me.

But this blog is neither about bad driving or the power of your cell phone network – or, as they say globally, your mobile.

This blog is about the power of your personal network.

Stop for a second and think about your network: who do you know? If an emergency came up, who do you know? Are there doctors in your network? Do you have doctors as friends that you can call up and get their medical opinion – without having to wait for an appointment?

Do you have a veterinarian friend that you can call up when there is something wrong with your dog? Someone you can trust? Someone who won’t charge you $80 a visit to find out that it was nothing but common diarrhea?

What about clothing and fashion? Do you know people that work in the stores you shop in? Do you know people that call you when something good comes in that would be perfect for you?

Do get deals? When you go out at night, do you get a free drink or appetizer because you are just a great person that connects with people? Do you know people in all different places?

How about when you go buy a car? Instead of getting red-penned to death by the salesclerk – going back and forth bargaining – can you walk into a car dealership and get a low, rock bottom price just because you know people there and you’re respected?

How big is your network?

What about when you go to the airport – they only have one seat left in first class and you’re out of certificates – but because you got friendly with the person behind the counter, they slide you into the seat with no questions asked (and no extra charges?)

What about when you check into a hotel that you’ve been to before? Do they remember you and upgrade you to a suite just because you remembered to ask about their dog or their cousin that was about to get married?

How big is your network? All of the time that you spend chasing the opposite sex – are you attracting people into the power of your network? Are you expanding your social circles?

Are you becoming a more powerful person, or are you just walking around trying to validate yourself by meeting people of the opposite sex?

My network is huge. I just had a question about this cyst that Daphne has, called three people up in a span of five minutes and got an answer – through my network.

Next time you have something going on, who are you going to call?

Instead of chasing the opposite sex, learn to attract the opposite sex and attract a more powerful network by being a more powerful person!

Todays video is all about how to overcome approach anxiety forever!!

Its Saturday time to become a tourist in your own town.

Hope everyone is having an amazing weekend.

We are in the middle of a great bootcamp.

Yesterday we went to Malibu and everyone had a task at hand.
To have fun like a kid and overcome all fears of approaching women.

It was a huge success and the task was something you would have never imagined.

I will post some of it this week on you tube so stay tuned…..you will be shocked at what we did.

Today we are heading to the Santa Monica Farmers market as well as Venice beach. Till tomorrow.

Today I want to share with everyone a great question I got from someone in an email. I’m sure this kind of stuff is applicable to many of you who are talking on the internet, so let’s talk about this right now.

Client: Hi David. First of all, I’d like to take a second to kiss your ass for opening a whole new world to me. Basically, your Men’s Mastery Series and blogs are amazing, but I’m sure you already know this, so on with my question.

Last I was IMing a girl that I met through a friend and eventually started talking to through MySpace. It was the second time I have talked to her through AIM and I was planning on getting her number so I could ask her out over the phone (as you recommend.)

As we were talking about boring things, she put me in the position to compliment her. Don’t get me wrong: I love to compliment someone when it is deserved, but it was just so blatantly obvious. I felt like I was giving all of my power away.

Here is one example of our conversation:
Her: So are you actually going to get some work done tonight?
Me: I’ll try, but some crazy girl keeps IMing me… haha.
Her: So why don’t you just ignore her?

So now the nice guy inside wants me to say, “because I really enjoy talking to you,” but that just feels too clingy. Plus, I’m not sure if she still views me just as a friend or as someone she is actually interested in. So I just ended up saying, “nah.”

How would you have handled the situation?

David: Tim, I agree with you: it’s best to give compliments when they are deserved. However, in the example you sent me, it looks like you are the one who really put yourself in that situation.

Don’t worry so much about whether or not you give your power away (just don’t do it constantly), but focus more on keeping the vibe fun, playful and exciting. That’s the real art of flirting.

So in your situation, there are multiple ways you could have handled it. You could:
1. Call her out on it
2. Ignore it and give a very open-ended/vague and neutral answer – basically circling around the pot – this creates some form of intrigue
3. Give her an answer that makes her want to know more – using curiosity/intrigue
4. Give her a “conditional compliment”

So here’s how your situation could have played out:

Her: So are you actually going to get some work done tonight?

Me: I’ll try, but some crazy girl keeps IMing me… haha.

Her: So why don’t you just ignore her?

Me:
1. Hmmmm… I think someone is fishing for a compliment here… :p :p :p
2. [yes, just give a smiley face. Do not answer... and let her ask another question]
3. Well, I don’t know what it is… but… there’s something about this girl that makes me want to talk to her more. [you give her the compliment but you keep it vague to keep your power]
4. Because for a lawyer [insert whatever stereotype she is], she’s pretty fun [insert the opposite quality expected from the stereotype]
I hope these suggestions help you. As you can see, you are just vibing based on what she tells you. Your “nice guy” response would be fine as well as long as you come from a position of power and self-respect. The woman can tell from the OVERALL conversation if you are you just trying to please her or if you truly mean what you tell her.
That’s more important that the exact response you give to the woman fishing for compliments. There’s nothing wrong with giving free compliments once in a while – you just can’t come from the wrong place.
Contact me again if you have any more questions. If you want me to go deeper with something, we can set up some form of phone or email coaching.
Have a great weekend!

If you have any questions at all please send them my way and I will use them in newsletters in the future.

I really enjoying hearing from all of you!

Todays Video is all about how to connect with a woman from the moment you first meet her.

In this video my friend Lexi goes over this in detail.