Every time someone asks me this, all I can picture is this giant chicken wing dripping with buffalo sauce running around next to them. I picture them constantly having to clean off their shoes from all the buffalo sauce that is dripping off their wing.

So is it better to run with a wing or to run by yourself? The answer is that it is always better to run by yourself.

If you’re by yourself, then it’s like you are the complete master of every conversation. If you run with a wing, then all of a sudden you are opening up your conversations to someone else.

That someone else will jump in your conversations and might even end up dominating the conversation. Even worse, they might end up turning off the very person you are trying to intrigue because they aren’t listening.

If you are having a great conversation with a woman, your wing might end up feeling neglected and want to leave. I’ve seen women wings do that all the time. A woman will having a great time talking to a guy in a bar, and the woman wing will get annoyed and start tugging on the woman telling her that they need to go somewhere else.

Meet Women With Wings

I’ve seen so many wing scenarios go badly. So it’s much better to go alone.

Going alone also forces you to learn to speak with people when you are alone. You don’t want to just stand in the corner by yourself. Going it alone forces you to go out there and communicate with people.

So going alone is something all of you need to do. It’s something I personally really enjoy. My best conversations always happen when I go out alone.

I stopped him at this point, and said “Almost a year? Do you realize that self-growth is a never-ending process?”

I want all of you to think about that for one second. No matter where you are in your life today, if you’re somebody that really strives to have an amazing life then you are going to be growing every single day.

Self-growth is a lifetime job. It really is.

It is not a temporary thing you’re going through like getting the flu. There is no temporary self-growth fix. It’s constant.

The Ultimate Mindset

It’s a constant thing that happens in your life. You will always have things that you need to work on, there will always be things that you need to battle, and there will always be things that you need to learn and to embrace.

Self-growth is something I am going to do until the day I die. I’m going to be still growing probably on the day that I die, because I still have a lot of self-growth left to do. That’s life.

So just enjoy where you are in your life right now. If you feel like you’re frustrated, and you wish that the self-growth stage of your life would be over so that you can finally be where you want to be in your life, then I have news for you.

Once you get to where you want to be in life, you will want to be somewhere else — because there is always something else you will need to work on or learn. So just enjoy it.

One of my favorite quotes is one I said to a client a long time ago: “You are where you are in your life because that’s exactly where you should be.”

I want you all to think about that today. You are where you are in your life because it’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.

This person is what I call “the conversation killer.” The conversation killer can’t just kick back and listen, and only join in when they have something to add to the current topic of conversation.

They are the person who gets annoyed because the conversation is not going their way or because they have nothing to contribute to the current topic of conversation. They always want to be able to say something during a conversation or control a conversation, and if they can’t then they will kill that conversation.

You see it all the time when you go out. You see the conversation killer strike, and then usually the entire group disburses. Yes, they all leave because they realize that they around the person who doesn’t pay attention to what other people say and who needs to be the center of attention.

A Great Conversation

Some of the best conversations I’ve ever had are ones in which I was just the listener. When you don’t know something and you can’t contribute, it’s fantastic to listen. The more you listen in life, the more you learn in life — and the more you will be able to contribute to future conversations.

So the next time you’re in a conversation that’s not swinging in your direction, listen, learn, and embrace the subject matter. If you do that, then the next time that same subject comes up in a conversation, you’ll be really glad you listened.

If you’re starting a conversation with somebody, you don’t want to be the subordinate person or the weak person. You don’t want to be the subordinate person because conversations are all about energy, and if you walk over to someone feeling weak or insecure then your energy will make that person perceive that you as a person are weak or insecure. Nobody wants to be in a conversation with someone who is weak or insecure.

Have you ever noticed that when you walk up to a woman (or walk up to a man if you’re a woman) and you’re not feeling great about yourself, that the conversation always goes the same way? It usually goes down the toilet in about fifteen seconds. It’s usually one of those conversations where you have to push the eject button almost immediately because the conversation is just plain not working.

Blah Blah Blah

The only way you can every start a successful conversation with someone is to become the attractor. You cannot be the retractor and start a great conversation.

So before you go and approach someone, you need to feel good about yourself. I can’t stress enough to all of you the importance of self-love, feeling great about yourself and really being a person you respect every single day.

If you’re needy when you walk over to someone and start a conversation, do you know what your needy energy will do? It will repel that person, because you will be the weak person.

So how do you feel good before you have every single conversation? You can do a visualization exercise about something that you love to do, or something about which you feel great that puts a smile on your face. Put whatever that is on your SmartPhone. It can be anything that is going to warm you up and make you feel really good.

For years I’ve been saying, and I want you to really understand, how important the first impression is when you meet someone. So you really have to get yourself feeling good before you have that first meeting.

Remember that you’re the director and the star of your own movie. Would you want to watch a movie about a weak person walking up to someone and having a conversation? No, you wouldn’t.

So you’ve really got to start feeling good about yourself. All of the power to start a great conversation with someone and to attract someone starts within you. It starts with who you are as a person and how you feel about yourself.

There is no shortcut, magic pill, or go-to phrase that someone can give you that will allow you to start a successful conversation with someone if you don’t feel good about yourself as a person when you start it. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it doesn’t matter what you say.

This is so important, and I stress this all the time. Every single person who comes to one of my seminars or Bootcamps understand this principle, and they have gone on to be a master communicator.

If you walked into a business meeting and started the conversation as the subordinate person, how do you think that business meeting would go? It’s no different when you meet someone socially. So if you want to be a master communicator, understanding this principle is where it all starts.

Here’s a great video that I did on the topic as well.

Have a great weekend!

Thanks Zach from the blog for sending this to me.

Thought you guys would get a kick out of this sad but true way we communicate.

And here is a great clip on how men talk.

This should get all of you excited for this weeks games.

Are you able to stay motivated everyday and do the things you self talk yourself to death about?

Today I talk all about how to stick with your dating action plan.

Listen now below!

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

Do you know anybody who is a repeat talker? Every time you talk to them on the phone or go out with them, they talk about the same things and tell the same stories over and over and over again.

It’s funny. You’ll go out with them, and they’ll bring up the same story about something that they did last summer, last Christmas or last football season. It might be a story about something that happened during their childhood.

Whatever it is, it seems like they never remember what they’ve ever said to you before that moment. I don’t know if they have a poor memory or if they are very limited in how far their conversational skills can go.

My Father was a repeat talker. Whenever we’d go out, he’d always repeat the same things over and over again. My brother and I would sit there, start to laugh and say, “Cue the Jay Levine story” or “Cue the Jets game story.” It’s like my Father found a way to tell the same four stories every time we were with him — at every single dinner that we had with him, at every lunch, and at the beginning of every football season.

He would always repeat the same stories. That is not what is called tradition. It is just a poor memory. There are just people who repeat the same things over and over again.

Instead of sitting there listening and pretending you’ve never heard it before (because you don’t want to be rude), whenever a repeat talker starts to tell one of their stories you almost want to let them know you’ve heard the story before and don’t want to hear it again. You almost want to say, “You know you’ve told me this story about 7,000 times. Let me tell you the beginning, the middle and the end of it.”

It is almost like repeat talkers are just limited in the amount of things they have to talk about with people. They are limited in their ability to connect with people (which I know through my Father).

They are limited in their ability to connect with people, so they only talk about what’s safe to them. What’s safe to them are the same stories they’ve been talking about over and over and over again.

Have any of you ever been around a repeat talker, or are you one yourself? I’d like to hear from all of you today about this.

Ok maybe not that drastic but today I have a challenge for you.

Are you ready to for an early Christmas present from yours truly?

Intrigued?

Then kick back watch and see what I am going to give you.

One last thing.

All you women who just watched the video.

Reverse the advice and make it work for you!!!

I work with so many people who suffer from this syndrome. When I tell them how to do things, they say thing like “This won’t work where I live (or in the town I’m in)” or “This won’t work at my Starbucks” or “This won’t work for me at the gym.”

So ask yourself whether you suffer from “this won’t work for me syndrome.” It’s so funny. I’ve coached people from all over the world — from London to Sweden, to Italy to Vancouver to Michigan — and what I teach works everywhere.

I love when I hear from somebody who writes me and says something like, “Dear David, I live in London. Your principals might work on Americans, but they won’t work on the Brits.” Really? I spend two or three weeks a year in London, and I seem to have a huge social network over there. So it must work over there, because I don’t do anything different than I do here.

I don’t go to London and say, “Now I’m going to put on my London persona.” I don’t book a flight to Detroit tomorrow, and say that I’m going to be a Detroit person when I get there.

“This won’t work for me” is another lame excuse. No matter what reasons follow that statement — whether it’s that you don’t look like me, talk like me or live where I live — they are bull.

What I teach works everywhere and for everyone. Everything I talk about in my Men’s Mastery Series and Become A Master Communicator programs work everywhere and for everyone.

Maybe when you travel to Columbia, they won’t fully understand your sense of humor unless you have a translator or they speak English, but spent two weeks in Columbia and what I teach worked for me there. I have been to the Philippines, and it worked for me there.

So why does it work everywhere for me, but yet I get emails daily from people telling me that it won’t work in the city where they live? My favorite type of email is when someone writes me and says, “I dare you to come here and see if it works.”

Pay for my ticket and pay for my time, and I will prove it. If you think it won’t work for you in your city, pay me for my ticket and my time and if it doesn’t, then I will pay you your money back. I guarantee in the first hour of being together that I will show you not only that it does work in your town, but I will do something so different and outrageous that you’ll think I have performed magic (and yet all I will have done is communicate).

Communication is the key to life. That is what it is. Life is all about communication. Communication works everywhere.

How come little babies can cry and everyone understands what they want? They want to either be held, changed, fed, or rocked. You can figure that stuff out, but you can’t figure out that when a woman in Starbucks winces that maybe she burned herself on a hot cup of coffee. Come on, get out of your head! This will work for you.

The excuses are pathetic. They are lame. I don’t buy into the excuses anymore, nor do I have compassion for them anymore.

I used to have the same excuses you do. I’ve been doing this a long time, and if you suffer from “this won’t work for me syndrome,” my answer to you is BULL.