Say you are looking at a sushi bar and you say to her, “Man, there’s a lot of different colors here” and she ignores you. What do you do next?

A lot of guys run. They play the “oops I spoke and you didn’t respond right away so I’m going to run and hide” game. The guys who run in this situation do so without realizing a lot of things.

They do so without realizing that the person they talked to might be shy. In fact, that person might even be shyer than you.

You might have taken her off guard, and she wasn’t ready for a conversation. She might have been thinking about something else. You have no idea because you are not inside her head.

So let’s go back to the sushi scenario. In that situation, here is how I would handle it.

If when I say the observation about the colors the woman looks taken aback, then I would say to her, “What are you getting? What’s good here?” I would give her the opportunity to respond.

Think about yourself and how many times you are out somewhere — at the market, a coffee house, a clothing store or wherever — and you are trapped in your own thoughts. You might be thinking about your day, about work, about what you have to do when you get home or even about your underwear. Who knows?

Just think about how many times you are stuck in your own thought process. So, with that in mind, give someone another shot to respond to you before you bail in these situations thinking someone blew you off.

You may not be getting blown off at all. You might have just caught her stuck in her own thoughts and shocked her for a moment.

That is all it takes. Give it another whirl. If she still ignores you, then maybe she isn’t interested.

If that is the case, then you move on and say “no chemistry” to yourself. Then you think, “They weren’t interested. Who cares? Next!”

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