Shogo here with another weekend blog!

For all you East Coast people, hope you’re keeping sheltered up for the vicious eye of the tiger that’s headed your way this weekend.

David and I are here in LA this morning getting ready for another amazing boot camp! I just went for a run on the beach, the weather is great out here this weekend, and I can already tell this weekend’s boot camp is going to be an amazing experience for everyone.

No to toot my own horn, but our events are always an amazing experience. Last month a very cool guy who came out to the New York seminar, whose name will remain anonymous, asked me how it is that I am able speak my mind in front of women with ease. He asked me how it’s possible that I can say whatever I’m thinking in the moment and not hesitate or be worried that I’m going to be offensive or sound like a pig.

This was a great question, and something that I want to share with all of you guys. It’s an important topic to address, especially if you’re out not just approaching women, but getting into real conversations, going out on dates, and talking to women in bars.

Shogo In Nightgame Mode

The thing that’s holding back a lot of guys from freeing up and speaking their mind is that they believe their own inner thoughts will be offensive to others. They think that if other people find out what they’re REALLY thinking, especially women, that they will be seen as a huge pervert. A sicko. An asshole who just wants to get in her pants.

So what happens is that guys get all nervous in front of women, afraid that the woman they’re talking to will find out about all those thoughts and all that chatter going off inside their brain, so they make something up. They come up with lines, they try to be funny, they pretend to be cool and disinterested, and then what happens is that they never let their true selves out.

But the fact is that you don’t have to be squeaky clean. If you really want to get good at this, you gotta let your true self out. You have to say what you’re thinking, no matter what ends up coming out of your mouth. You’re not an asshole or a freak, deep down inside you know you’re actually a really great guy, so start tapping into that part of you. You have to trust that part inside of you.

You have to be unapologetic for who you are. If you’ve never been able to get a girlfriend, or you can’t get past the second date, or you constantly get blown off at bars when you approach women, it isn’t because you’re deficient in something. It’s not because there’s some secret pickup information you don’t know. It’s because you’re covering yourself up. You have a hidden agenda when you’re talking to women that you’re interested in—sure she’s attractive, sure you’d like to have sex with her, sure you’d like to get to know her more—but that agenda really needs to come out into the open. And the rest will follow.

You will feel so much better talking to people.

So what do you do?

Some of you may run.

Some of you may hide.

Some of you may just say nothing.

Some of you will do some variation of what is in today’s video.

Do you want an offbeat easy laid back Friday night?

Try this out and see how easy it can be!

I am sure some of you have your routines all ready to go, all you need is a willing and able drunk girl who will buy into your planned course of action.

Here’s the deal, the above statement really does not work in the long run.

Sure you may grab a phone number from the overly drunk girl in the corner, but what about the smart sexy women?

They want you to approach them and connect with them just as I state in today’s video.

Are you ready to ditch the routines and become a man that women desire?

If so watch this before you go out so you don’t repeat the same mistakes!

After asking my client to elaborate more on what he meant, I understood that what he was asking was how to keep control of situations instead of letting situations control you. He wanted to know how to not let intimidation get in your way when you want to meet someone.

I told my client that it all starts with the way you approach. You have all heard me talk over and over again about the power of observation. So the first and most important thing to do is always to observe what a woman is doing so that you can frame the conversation based on your own enthusiasm.

Let’s say that you go to a book store and you see an absolutely stunning, beautiful woman browsing in the travel section of the store. Let’s also say that you are very interested in travel and have traveled extensively, so approaching that woman should be quite easy and comfortable.

If you don’t stay in your own reality, though, you can risk not controlling the situation and letting the situation control you. Because the woman is so beautiful, you may want to open her as quickly as possible. You may not take the extra five or six seconds to realize she is standing in the travel section.

A lot of men in this situation panic, and all they focus on is the thought “I’ve got to approach, I’ve got to approach, I’ve got to approach…” While I would agree that you should approach, you should not do so until you are armed with the necessary information to do so. Taking those extra five or ten seconds to really observe what is around you is arming yourself with that necessary information.

Men will often be totally focused on what they can think of to say and will often miss something easy, comfortable and obvious they could say based on what is going on around them. So you need to take those extra five or ten seconds and observe before you approach. It will be well worth it when you see how much more successful (not to mention easy and comfortable) your approaches will be.

Think about what is in her mind at that moment. Is the woman in our hypothetical looking at a particular book? In what section of the book store is she browsing? If she is in the travel section, maybe she is looking for a book about the place to which she is about to travel (or a place to which she would like to travel).

What you’re doing is playing the odds. You are playing the odds based on what she’s already thinking, though, which means that you’ll be in control of the conversation.

This is precisely what most guys do not do when they approach. Most guys go in too quickly.

The reason why these “too quick” approaches don’t usually end up so well, is that you are not starting a conversation based on what the woman is already thinking. You are not getting inside her head.

Don’t go into the approach too quickly simply because you want to get it over with. Don’t rush the approach.

The more you train your mind to be observant by taking those extra ten seconds, the quicker your mind will begin to do that on its own. Don’t worry about getting faster, though, and just work on the observation skill and on not rushing your approaches.

As with everything else I teach you, whatever happens in any approach you should never beat yourself up. Remember that you learn from each experience, and there will always be another opportunity. Working on this observation skill, however, will help to make more and more of your approaches successful.

At 10:30 pm, you decide the place is lame and you go somewhere else. At midnight, the same guy every week says, “Dude, we have to go check out this other place. I heard it is great. My friend just texted me from there…”

It’s like Groundhog Day over and over again. You go home, and you’re always frustrated because you missed talking to the girl that got into the cab as you were walking over to talk to her.

In reality, what you’re doing is chasing the night. You’re miserable and not enjoying yourself, but you go back and do it again the next weekend.

While you’re doing this every weekend, other guys may be sitting around the house with some buddies having a great time barbecuing and drinking some wine. Others may have a great soul-searching weekend. Those guys come back on Monday feeling invigorated and alive.

There is a time when you really have to stop giving into your friend’s bullshit. You have to start saying that enough is enough.

When I was single, some of my best Friday nights included going out to dinner and being home by ten o’clock at night. I never cared about chasing the night. I’d be home at 10:00 pm so I could get up early the next morning and have an amazing Saturday meeting the kind of women I really wanted to meet and doing things I loved to do.

When you finally break up with your friends and stop buying into their bullshit, then you’ll know you really didn’t miss a thing when you get that day after call saying, “Dude, you should have been there!” So start breaking up with your friends and start becoming an independent, free thinker!

I woke up this morning next to a beautiful woman and had these thoughts to share with you.

Think about this: there’s a woman that you’re friends with and she convinces you to go on a blind date. How many times has that happened?

Or, your woman friend is throwing a party, and she says that all of her good-looking friends are going to be there. You go to the party, and you look around, and you say to her, “well where are all of your good-looking friends?” and she says, “they’re all here!”

This biggest clue that men can take from this is that women basically think all of their friends are beautiful. That’s what they do: they look from the inside out – while men look from the outside in.

This is something that men don’t grasp. If you look at the way women think about their friends, you might not find them appealing, but women find them incredibly sexy and beautiful.

Basically, it’s the same exact thing when women look at a man. You can never compare yourself to other guys, because women will look at you from the inside out. They don’t know that they’re attracted to you until they meet you. That’s what is phenomenal.