This morning, I was walking down the street with my dog Daphne. It’s simply an absolutely beautiful day today, and we’re just walking down the street and I just started talking to people. When you let the weather and the environment inspire you, you get in the most interesting conversations.

So many people don’t take advantage of the beautiful days of summer and they spend all this time not talking to people and spending all this time at home. Were you one of those people this summer?

If you were, you need to start getting into more conversations. Ask people if they’re enjoying the great weather as much as you are. Relax. Go to a cafe. Sit outside and bring your work to the cafe with you. If you get stuck in traffic, roll your window down, smile and wave to the person stuck in traffic next to you. Yell something fun and lighthearted over to them, be playful have fun and keep in mind the weather is going to turn cold soon and you will wish that you took advantage of the great weather.

David is out in Chicago today at his final Communication Seminar of the year! If you missed it but wanted to attend, don’t worry. There will be more coming next year, so stay tuned.

You know I always love giving you guys advice on how to handle going out on the weekends, making sure you have a good time, and being able to make sense of it all. The reason I can give you the insight is because I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to go out on Friday and Saturday nights chasing women around, collecting phone numbers, not getting anywhere, and generally not having a very satisfying time by the end of the night.

But every once in a while, I still get swept up into the Saturday night fever myself. I still get sucked into the same traps, standing around in some bar, talking to some woman I just met over blaring music, not being able to hold any sort of real conversation, wondering, “Why the hell am I here?”

Last weekend, I took a trip out to Montreal with some good friends. We were five guys all together, no women in our group. All around, the weekend was terrific. Friday night? Amazing. We had a great meal and saw some cool live jazz in town. Saturday during the day? Had a great time walking around, meeting people, eating some great food, sitting out in the park, and checking out some of the sights.

How To Meet Women At Night

But then…by the time Saturday night rolled around, everybody started getting nightclub fever. It’ like as a single person you’re led to believe that on Saturday nights you’re supposed to go out to a bar or a nightclub. That’s just what you’re supposed to do. So we all met in the lobby, everybody wearing the same collared shirt, jeans, and black shoes combo. The infamous wolf pack. I wanted to kill myself before the night even started—way too many dudes in the same group. I’ve been in the situation many, many times before and I saw where it was headed: a whole lot of nowhere.

Now don’t get me wrong: I did end up meeting some cool people and generally having a good time, just because that’s my nature and I’ll have a good time wherever I go, but a couple of my buddies were so stressed out from the night. One guy kept wanting to go to a strip club. Another guy didn’t drink and didn’t want to hang around drinkers. Another kept texting his girlfriend every 15 minutes. Another hadn’t been laid in years and was totally unsuccessful in his attempts to chase down women. Everybody was in a different place in their heads and nobody was getting anywhere.

The fact is you don’t have to go out to a bar or club to meet single women. It’s not true at all. If you want to, great! I like a nice bar. I really do. But if you’re going out on the weekends, it’s frustrating you, and you keep repeating the same pattern over and over, you need to stop going to those places. You need to reevaluate what you’re doing and where you’re going. It’s time for some change. There are plenty of places you can go on a weekend night where you will meet a lot of other single people that don’t involve massive amounts of overpriced vodka, pumping techno music, and people standing around posing in their club gear. More to come on some fun alternative places for you to go on weekend nights in a future blog…

I say this ALL the time before we go out for the evening at our boot camps and seminars, and I’ll say it again: If you don’t actually like to go out at bars, don’t go out at bars to try to meet women. Don’t do it. Just like if you don’t like to read books, don’t hang around Barnes and Noble trying to meet women. If you don’t like basketball, don‘t get basketball season tickets to try to meet women at games. You get the picture…

Now get out there, have a great time this weekend, and enjoy one of our last weekends of summer!

You know, the other day a reader named Jen posted on the blog asking how she can recognize the shy guy who is too timid to approach to get him over to come approach her.

Sure, women who are not often approached can work on their appearance and work on making themselves more approachable by smiling more wherever they are, getting rid of the ipod in public, making more eye contact with men they’re interested in at bars, etc.

But even for women who do get approached often, do you ever find you’re just not getting approached by the kind of guys who you want to approach you? There’s another even better step you can take: ladies, you can approach the fellas too!

How To Meet Men

I know plenty of guys who are great catches, in reality they are take-charge kind of men, just the kind of guys you would like to meet, but they will never approach you in a public place. Why? Because it’s just not a part of their social norm to meet and get to know people in a random public place. So in turn they don’t do it—not because they don’t want to talk to you, just because it’s something they’ve never thought of doing before. This is especially true with a lot of European men.

I also know many men who just don’t approach women even in a bar or club setting, or at a party—places where most people would approach—because they’ve never learned how to, or they have a bit of social anxiety (we all do to some extent), or because they just haven’t built up the confidence to go after what they want. Doesn’t mean they’re not great guys—in fact, for a lot of women out there the shyer introspective guys are actually more attractive and a better match for them than the dominant fearless types. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.

So how do you do this? Very simple. Just like we teach men how to start a conversation with women: you make an observation based on what’s going on in the moment around you, and you say that observation to the guy. There’s a benefit to this, too: because women are far less threatening than men, and men are pretty dumb and unassuming, you can say pretty much anything you want and it won’t look like you’re “picking him up”!

Here’s the best way to start a conversation with a man: ask him a question, or tell him you need help with something. He’ll love the fact that he’s coming to the rescue and be so proud that he was able to help you out.

Ask a guy for directions somewhere, or tell him you’re looking for a nice restaurant or place to shop in the area and ask if he knows of any.

If you’re sitting at a restaurant, ask the guys sitting at the table next to you what they’re eating. Tell him you’re not sure what to order and his food looks good. He’ll tell you all about it and help you out with the menu just because guys love to be the guy who comes to the rescue.

If you’re standing by the bar ordering a drink, you can say something as simple as, “What are you drinking? That looks interesting.”

If you’re standing by the subway or waiting for the train and a guy is reading a book, ask him what book he’s reading, or tell him the cover looks interesting. Just yesterday I was waiting for the metro in Washington, DC, I saw a woman ask a man what he was reading, and they talked all the way into the subway car and beyond.

Right now you may be thinking, “Geez, won’t it appear like I’m completely desperate or being way too forward?” The answer to that is no. It won’t appear like you’re doing anything other than striking up a friendly conversation.

This isn’t the 1950’s anymore. You can do and say whatever you want to a man, there are no rules in dating and the single life. In fact, I have more than a few girlfriends who get approached by men all the time, but the men who they usually end up with (and ones they’re happiest with) are the ones who they actively decided to introduce themselves to and go talk to first. The reality is that most men would be flattered, and many of them relieved, to see that you actually took the initiative and got up the courage to talk to them!

Now fellas, this doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook. A man should NEVER use the excuse of, “Well, if she was interested in me she would approach me.” The women you want won’t just fall into your lap. You have to put yourself out there and go after what you want with complete vulnerability and honesty. That’s the only way you’re going to get good at this. Staying in your comfort zone and standing around waiting for the women to approach you is the worst thing you can possibly do.

It is all about how bad advice can lead you to a very lonely dating life.

Lets clear up a few things today.

Check out the email and then listen to today’s podcast.

Its time we got rid of our mothers advice and starting listening to what really works.

Hello David,
I first off want to thank you for all of your useful and I must say funny videos. I am sure that you get a lot of emails but it would mean more than you believe if you could help me out. As I just came across your videos on YouTube tonight.

Here it is.I am a 22 year old female and have never ever been approached by a guy. Im sure you must be thinking that I need to work on my confidence and possibly body image but it is not any of those. I am a normal girl however I am pretty shy, and I tend to be very serious when I am in public alone. Don’t get me wrong if someone comes up to start a conversation, I’m more than nice!

Moms Dating Advice

But as my mom always tells me I look too serious and look rather unapproachable, as if I’m not interested in any guy or that I am already with someone. I feel like my attitude my come off as being “bitchy” but that’s not it. I’m a serious girl and I know what I want. But obviously the way that i have been carrying myself has not been working for me

I especially am serious when I go to the gym, I have my music on and just in my own world. I have tried looking back at guys when they look at me. But I have this thing that if I look, and they look… It kind of cracks me up and I start laughing, I know its weird.. But its just from me being shy. That’s why I always take the serious approach and not look into guys eyes.

I would realllly appreciate ANY advice you can give me. There are a lot of potential guys that I was interested in but things never happened cause of me and me being shy! Especially at the gym!

Thanks a million!!!!!
Lara

Listen now below to hear my thoughts…

To Download Today’s Podcast Click Here!

In reality, there are only a few things in life on which you are an expert, but one of those things is your errands. You’re an expert at your errands — and about the places you go time and time again as part of your errands.

How many times have you been to that same supermarket? You’ve been there and seen those women you’re attracted to a thousand times.

How many times have you run into Starbucks to get your morning coffee and seen that woman you’re attracted to also getting hers. How many times have you ordered coffee there? You’re an expert there.

How many times do you go to the dry cleaner, the library or a bookstore? If you think about it, you can see all the places in which you are already an expert where you can be meeting people.

You know the history of those places. You may have been shopping at Ralph’s for ten years, and you know that the donuts that are the shelves on Tuesdays are different than the donuts they put on the shelf on Thursdays.

How To Meet Men At The Supermarket

So why aren’t you meeting people in these places? The problem is that you get into these places and you go right into your head . . . and inside your head is a bad neighborhood.

The worst block in that neighborhood is at the intersection of Fear Avenue and Insecure Boulevard. It’s a horrible place.

It’s not only bad, but the traffic lights never work. Everybody is stuck right in the middle of it. No one knows which car should go first, which person should walk, and which person should turn right or left.

So if you are stuck at that intersection of Fear Avenue and Insecure Boulevard, what do you do about it? You become the leader.

You realize that you are an expert in that intersection. You’ve already been through that intersection a million times. So you need to bring yourself back to the moment, and really grind into your head where you are.

So if you are at Ralph’s and you see a woman standing there staring at the donut boxes, just take a second to look around, observe and realize you’ve eaten donuts your entire life. You’ve dreamed of donuts even before you could eat donuts. (I hope you’ve figured out that donuts is just the analogy here.)

You’re in a place where you are truly an expert. So really allow your brain to process all the signals that are going on around you, and then speak with authority.

I don’t care if you walk up and just say something like, “I like the white powdered sugar ones better, but really what are you in the mood for?” Whatever you say, just say it with authority. Speak with clarity and passion in your voice.

You’re an expert at the places you go to run your errands, but you refuse to use your brain and state the obvious with confidence. You are an expert in all these places, and yet you spend the whole time in them inside your head wondering what to do and say that is clever.

The truth is that nobody is smarter than you are in the places you go to run your errands. So take advantage of that!

100 percent of the women are waiting for about
10 percent of the men to approach.

About 10 percent of the men in this world know how to successfully approach women naturally, 24/7, all the
time. The other 90 percent of men are battling some form of approach
anxiety, not knowing how to approach in certain situations.

How do I know this? I’ve been coaching guys for so long. I’m trying
to get guys to join me in the 10 percent because it’s fantastic to
live there, but the ratios don’t have to be that high. Women could
change that percentage if they just paid attention to their
surroundings a little bit more, made it easier for men to approach,
and made it easier for guys to talk to them. Smile, be friendly, drop
the cellphone or the smartphone and actually say hello to a guy
they’re attracted to. Things would change if women just made
themselves available. You have maybe about 40 percent of the guys
being able to handle it then. Meeting other people would be so much
better if women participated.

Most women don’t make themselves available at all. They expect the guy
to walk over there like some miracle worker, and break down the wall
that they’ve put up for that day. Most women refuse to come over and
say the right thing at the right moment even though women swear
they’re always in the moment. Really? I know you say that and I know
you want that, but you don’t make yourself available for the guy to
say hello to you in the first place. You can make it easy on the
men—you have all the power. It’s as simple as saying hello. I’d like
to be a woman for 24 hours, I’ll show you how many numbers I can get.
Men are easy. It’s easy to pull men over, it’s easy to flirt with
them, and it’s easy to make them feel comfortable and safe. Stop
waiting.

And the 10 percent of the men that already approach you, you
don’t trust them anyway! A lot of women don’t trust them because they
think they’re just players. They don’t trust it because the guy was
too slick—the guy said all the right things. So maybe 5 percent of the
10 percent actually get your phone number. Make it easy on us. Make it
easy on us, and it’ll be easy for you.

As usual the year is moving along at a rapid pace.

One month from today is my birthday, so this will be your only reminder to make sure that you spoil me on my birthday!

I have a question for all of you today.

How fun are you?

Are you able to get out of your head and just let go, without thinking of how others perceive you?

I show you how on today’s podcast, listen now below!

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

As well as a podcast today, I want to share this video with you.

When I was in London last month we did a get out of your head exercise during the bootcamp.

Check out how we go out of our heads and became the life of the party in London.

And for those of you who are thinking of a bootcamp.

I only have 3 left this year, so check out the schedule below and if your interested shoot me an email so we can go over all the details.

Bootcamp Schedule

June 10th – 12th
The Only 2011 New York City Bootcamp for Men
1 slots left!

July 15th – 17th
Toronto Bootcamp for Men with myself and Marni from Wing Girls.
5 slots left!

October 28th – 30th
London Bootcamp for Men
5 slots left!

Is your body image controlled by the cover of Self Magazine?

Do you believe you have to conform yourself to all the women you see on the E! Channel?

Do you use other people as a yardstick to constantly compare yourself to?

Are you a man who is only attracted to one kind of woman?

Do you feel like the world is against you?

Dream Girls Or Sick And Twisted

I am interested in knowing why you choose to help men find “hotter women” or to “pick up women”.

As a female, I feel like it is portrayed in society, and media that I need to be 5ft 9in, 125lbs with huge perky breasts and bleach blonde hair and wear miniskirts and skimpy shirts with 5″ stilettos to be considered attractive…..and I am continually disappointed in myself for not looking like this.

I think at times it is men such as yourself who are out there for a quick dollar to help other men find women that rarely exist and to ignore the Quality women who have beauty and brains as well as a strong head on their shoulders. I may not be 125lbs with model type physique, but please let women like me have a chance at finding a man instead of being continually passed upon in search of “the hotter woman”.

What do your “teachings” teach young prepubescent girls about body image and self esteem.

I am curious on your thoughts…..

Now listen up, both men and women, to my thoughts on what MDavies had to say.

This is a very powerful podcast today…

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

I want you to read this a few times and really take in a very important message.

If you can master today’s message and really take it in, you will be able to meet a ton of people of the opposite sex.

If we were as boring with our friends as we are when we try to meet the opposite sex, we’d have no friends.

Think about that for a moment.

If we were as boring with our friends as we are when we try to meet the opposite sex, we’d have no friends.

I want all of you to go out today and when you meet people of the opposite sex, talk to them like a friend.

Talk to them like they are your close friend.

My client was telling me, he goes, “I really want to meet new women.” He just wants to get to know them, maybe ask them out on a date. So far so good, right? I said, “Great. To get to know a new person, make an observation to her based on what you notice, listen to what she says…”

You know, all the things that I teach all the time.

Here’s where his negative excuse thinking comes in: He can’t, he says. He thinks that something bad will happen if he tries. He goes back into the past and–remember when we were talking about the past? If you’re going to live in the past, you’re always going to get what? That’s right, the past.

He said, “See, this one time I was at the mall with my friend—”

I had to stop him. One time! That’s the key word here: One time. He’s allowing this one experience to basically dictate what happens in his future. He’s allowing it to prevent him from all the things he could possibly be doing in the future. How many times have I told you guys, to be successful in life, you need to do things over and over and over again. You need to get rejected. You need to get blown off. Can you image if the world operated on some “one time principle”? You know what that principle is called? It’s called failure. Because if everybody in the world, if everybody operated on this one time principal, not one person would be successful. Nobody would make a dollar. No progress would be made in the world.

So my client, he’s at the mall with his friend, and his friend tried saying hello to a girl: “She yelled at my friend really loudly to get the hell away from her! How do I cope with that so I can talk to girls if this happens to me?” Basically, by the time my client gets the courage to go talk to someone, he’s already shot himself in the foot. He’s already thinking about that one time and he’s already thinking to himself, “She’s going to scream at me,” or “She’s going to tell the police.”

REALLY? Because in my 30 years of approaching and talking to women, I’ve never once had anybody threaten to call the police on me. Now granted, maybe your friend walked over and had zero confidence, was really staring at her like a creepy stalker boy for a long time before he decided what he was going to do. Most likely, by the time he finally walked over with a weird energy about him, she was totally creeped out. She basically wanted him to get the hell away. That’s what a lot of guys will do. Even though they’re well-meaning, they’ll stare at a woman endlessly before they do anything about it.
Honestly, if you’re having this issue, what you need to do is really work on yourself and your mindset. You need to invest some time in yourself. I’m coaching my client to get working on this issue of his, but the fact is that a lot of guys will send me these type of e-mails because they want that miracle answer. They want the ONE ANSWER that is going to change their entire lives! It doesn’t work that way. I can’t change the way you think in a one-paragraph email and nobody can. I don’t sell you crap that you can memorize and then regurgitate in a situation and to a person I know absolutely nothing about. I will work with you, I will give you some amazing insights, and I will help pave the way, but you’ve got to make a steady commitment. Commit to yourself, buy some of my products, get some personalized coaching, keep up with the blog, dig deeper, and go out there and work every single day to become good at this.

That’s what I would tell you in an e-mail.

You have to stop looking for that magic pill. I feel—and I’ve felt—my client’s pain. I really have, and that’s why I’m so good at coaching. But you really have got to stop looking for that magic pill and start doing the work. I could tell you right now: observe, see what she’s doing, react to what she’s doing with a smile, have power in your voice, etc. But it’s not going to mean anything if you don’t go out there—all of you—and make some type of commitment to this. It’s what it takes to live without that fear that some of you have, every day.

If you’re serious about meeting women and you’re seriously frustrated, send me an e-mail and we’ll set up some type of coaching. We’ll recommend the product you need. For those of you who need it but are worried about cost, we can work within your budget. Stop living so much in your head and get this part of your life taken care of. Otherwise, I am going to call the police and bring you into my prison. I’m going to be the warden of that jail, and you’re not going to like what you see, because it will be the most intense locked-down boot camp you’ve ever gone through. Because I want all of you to have the kind of success that I have.