Do you know what ruins the possibility of most relationships taking off?

Ego always ruins it.

Here you are, hanging out with a woman you’ve been out with three or four times. You’re getting along great, and you know it. You’re having a good time, and then all of a sudden, one of you gets scared – which always happens. Someone always gets scared.

So all of a sudden, she stops calling, or she doesn’t text you back right away. And what do you do?

Your ego works to protect yourself, and you basically say to yourself, fuck it – it’s not going to work out.

In reality, your ego was actually just protecting you from becoming even more vulnerable.

Love Me Always

Then you rationalize to yourself by just submerging yourself in work or whatever it is. Your ego is just trying to protect yourself the whole time.

Life might just take one more phone call. Call that person out and say to them, “hey, what’s going on? I don’t get it. You and I were having a good time, and then you disappear. What’s going on?”

By calling somebody out on their shit, you’re going to get a response that will be far different than you ever imagined. Maybe she just needed that extra push.

Women like to feel safe. Maybe she did get a little bit scared, and when a woman gets scared, what does she want? She wants to be protected by her man.

A real man is going to make her feel protected and make her feel safe. That’s what women are craving – that feeling of safety and security. Women are nesters. Women are looking at you as a potential husband or father, and they want to feel very safe.

And by you saying, fuck it, and just walking away, you proved to her that that little doubt that she had about you was 100% correct. Just because you didn’t want to become vulnerable and you had to protect your ego. You wanted to save face.

And who might you be saving face from? Her friends if she talks to them? If you call her and just tell her what’s up, she’s going to go to her friends and say: “Joe called, and he just wants to know what’s going on with me. What should I do?” If her friends know that she likes you, all her friends will be encouraging her to call you.

So your ego just protected you from nothing.

You have to lose the ego. If you really want a true, spectacular relationship, drop the fucking ego. When you go to meet somebody, drop the ego. Stop worrying about what other people say and just live your life to the fullest every day by becoming vulnerable.

I had a very eye-opening weekend, and I will be sharing all my thoughts on that (as well as on a number of other things) tonight when I will be interviewed LIVE on my friend’s MatchMatrix Internet radio show.

If you want to hear my views on relationships, and how to super-connect with the opposite sex, then this is one hour that you do NOT want to miss!

If you want to tune in, it is taking place TONIGHT — Monday, June 8, 2009 at 6pm PST, 7pm MST, 8pm CST, 9pm EST.

Click on this link to listen:

http://www.loaradionetwork.com/frank-seifert-and-larry-michel.html

So onto today’s blog, where I am going to give you hopefully a new perspective on the idea of finding love and relationships.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting tired of hearing all the ‘gloom and doom’ about the economy and the state of things in general. There is one thing, however, that is priceless that you can get for free — it’s love.

The one thing in life that is 100% totally free is love. Love doesn’t cost any money. 

Of course, you do have to be willing to “pay” in some senses to find love. The only way to find love is to open yourself up, become vulnerable about who you are, and accept yourself and your quirks.

The truth is, though, that nothing else in life is free except love. With the exception of certain disgusting Los Angeles men or certain other types of very wealthy men who try to do it, you can’t buy love.  You can’t buy someone’s heart, because you can only buy possessions.

So instead of complaining during these tough economic times, you should be focusing on the one thing in life that is free: love. Love for yourself and for other people never costs a penny. With love, it doesn’t matter if you’ve had to take a pay cut at work. You can still always afford it.

You can always consistently be loving yourself and trying to let love in from others. If you aren’t doing this, then you’re missing everything. If you’re sitting home every night with a ‘doom and gloom’ mindset thinking how bad your life is right now, then what kind of people are you going to attract?

So start thinking about a change of perspective. Think about what kind of person you want to be attracting right now. Why not decide you are going to concentrate on finding love with yourself (because if you don’t love yourself you will never have anybody else love you) and love with someone else. Start challenging yourself to find love.

Let’s talk about building a relationship. It’s really interesting. So many people don’t understand how to build a relationship.

Of course people always come to me seeking advice on how to meet someone, but the question is what do you do once you do meet someone? Whether you’ve just met someone you really like or whether you’re already in the process of dating, how do you build a relationship up so that it’s strong enough to really work out and last?

The most important thing to do to achieve this is to make sure you have open lines of communication. If you are dating someone now, then ask yourself this: Do you do recaps with each other? Something I find really important to building a relationship is as much as possible to recap everything that’s happening between the two of you.

Talk about things. Talk things through.

You know, it’s interesting, because I was dating a woman one time who was definitely a little more conservative than I was sexually. So in order to really to get her to open up sexually with me, we created open lines of communication about sex and really talked about it. You know what happened? She not only opened up sexually with me, she opened up amazingly.

Another time I was dating someone who was really uncomfortable communicating about almost everything. She really was not comfortable communicating about things, especially feelings and emotions. So what I had to do was to make a very safe haven for her to talk about things and to share things with me. Once I did that, she did open up and shared amazing parts of herself with me.

So if something is bugging you, don’t be afraid to talk about it with the new person you’re dating. Opening up the lines of communication like this is the only way you can get in touch with each other, and really start to learn about each other.

Don’t be afraid to say things that are on your mind, because they’re going to find out sooner or later anyway . . . plus, it’s better to find out as much about someone as soon as possible. Think about the alternative. Otherwise six months could go by before something is out in the open, which is six more months that you both have invested your hearts into the relationship and each other.

My suggestion, then, is to go and really open up a distinct line of communication with the person you’re dating. Be open. This will not only make it more likely that you will be able to build a strong relationship, but it will enable you to create a deeper connection and unique bond with each other.

So communication is really, really important to building a strong relationship. It’s very important to have open lines of communication at all times, because when you do you are able to establish a relationship that keeps getting better and is better than any relationship you’ve had in the past.