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Posts Tagged ‘how to have a better relationship’

 
 

The Four Words You Never Want To Hear

Monday, October 26th, 2009

What are the four worst words in the English language? Do you have any idea what they are? They are: We have to talk.

What a powerful phrase that it. It’s never good when anybody says those four words to you. Usually when people say “We need to talk,” they do so lurching at you with a frustrated energy, because no one wants to have the talk that follows the announcement that “We need to talk.”

If you think about it, the reason that you have the “We have to talk” talk before you have the real conversation, is because you’re full of anxiety. What you have to talk about is probably something you’ve been thinking about for weeks, but just couldn’t get yourself to raise with the other person.

Because there has been all this buildup, when you do finally bring it up the tone that is taken is unbelievable. It is never a loving tone.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend ever says to you “We need to talk,” you know it is not good news. If it was good news, you would have heard about it already..

Nobody uses the phrase “We need to talk” to tell someone that they love them. When your boss calls you into the office and says, “We need to talk,” it’s never good.

It’s funny, too, because you could have just been in the kitchen with your boyfriend or girlfriend five minutes before talking about breakfast, then all of a sudden you are hearing “We have to talk.” So you say, “Weren’t we just talking?” and they will say “No, we weren’t having the ‘we have to talk’ talk.”

I don’t have a solution for the “We have to talk” problem, but I can tell you one thing. If you have something good to say to someone, you’ll never preface it with “We have to talk.”

Also, no matter what you have to say to someone — whether it’s something great or telling someone they are driving you up the wall — don’t start it off with “We need to talk.” Start it off with something more loving like, “Hey babe, I want to share something with you about the way I’ve been feeling that I think will really be beneficial to our relationship.” Doesn’t that sound much better than “We need to talk?”

Let’s talk about this. There are so many better ways to start a conversation than, “We need to talk.”

What would the theme music be for ‘we need to talk?’ Maybe the theme from The Exorcist? It must be something ominous sounding. Let me know if any of you have suggestions.

The Relationship Stand-Off

Monday, September 28th, 2009

Have you all met the country’s newest and hottest handicapper in football? Fresh off my Lions pick, I am now 6-0 on the season. So stay tuned for next week’s picks.

Now on today’s non-football related topic…

Let’s talk about relationships and, specifically, about being stubborn in a relationship. Let’s talk about giving in when you’re in a relationship.

When you’re in a relationship, you will have arguments. You will sometimes argue about something even when you know the other person has a valid point. Your ego wants to “win” and be right, so you’ll get into an argument instead of really thinking about what the other person was saying.

During every argument, there will come a time when someone needs to give in . . . but it seems like everyone always wants the other person to be the one to do it.
Each person will think, “I don’t want to hug them first” or “I don’t want to make the first move.”

How many nights when you’re in a relationship has your bed felt like it has an imaginary dividing line down the middle? You might accidentally touch knees or ankles in the middle of the night, and you jump because you don’t want to make the first move.

I mean, it’s crazy how many people are stubborn. I, myself, am very stubborn. I hate apologizing. I have always hated apologizing.

I have always hated making the first move. My mindset was always, “Why should I make the first move. They are the ones who brought the issue up.” The fact of the matter is that relationships tend to get very sour very quickly if both of you are being stubborn.

How many nights do you want to sleep on opposite ends of the bed? How many nights do you want to look at your lover and realize that what you’re fighting about is really ridiculous?

Saying you are sorry is really easy. Saying you are sorry and really meaning it is sometimes harder. So I think you need to really realize what your arguments are really about in your relationship, and start to see that it’s really not worth it 90% of the time.

Check out this great new in field approach video we shot last week. Its all about how to approach a group of women,