Has anybody ever told you that you over-talk about yourself on a date? A lot of people go out on a first date, and all they ever do is talk about themselves.

They constantly talk about themselves on a date. They are constantly talking about work, and I have to tell you men that women don’t want to constantly hear about your work when they’re on a date with you.

Women don’t want to hear about your fantasy football league. They don’t want to hear about your past and your ex-girlfriends. They don’t want to hear how bruised you were by your last relationship. Actually both sexes don’t want to hear about that.

If you do this on dates, I want you to start seeing the purpose of a first date differently. I want you to redefine what a first date is really all about.

A first date is just a way to learn more information about each other. First dates are about sharing stories and being positive. They are not about obsessing about work and bragging about your accomplishments.

Bragging is the biggest turnoff in the world. I have heard so many women complain to me about men who brag about their work accomplishments on a first date.

Men will talk about how successful they are and about the kind of car they drive, when what women really want to know is where you are emotionally. When men brag women will wonder, “Are they that materialistic? Are they that into just themselves?”

So if you are someone who brags and talks about themselves constantly on a first date, you need to rethink your first date behavior. You need to start listening, and maybe even bring a recorder along on one of your dates.

Bring a little mini-recorder along and tape the conversation that takes place on your next first date, then send me the recording. I will break it down and I will tell you what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong.

If you are getting a lot of first dates but very few second dates, then it is time to really figure out how to get to the bottom of what is causing this and become more successful.

I’m about to give you six easy things you can (and should) do to impress a woman on a date. As you will see, none of these six things involve picking out the right food or the right restaurant.

1.What Do You Know About Her?: So what do you know about this woman you want to impress? What are her likes and dislikes? In order to plan a great date, it has to be something that really interests her. A lot of guys do the standard “take her out to dinner” thing and just hope for the best. In reality, though, that’s just not the right way to do it. You need to think outside the dinner box, and think about something that will show her you thought about her when you planned this date. Picking something that relates to something she likes or in which she’s interested goes a long way.

2.Have A Plan: There’s nothing that turns a woman off more than when you call her and ask her what she wants to do on a date. It’s called listening. It’s about knowing what she likes. If you like her, you will do things that resonate with her, and you will know what (at least some) of those things are because you’ve been listening to what she’s had to say when you’ve talked to her. Also, women like strong, confident men. Women like men who have a plan.

3.Activity Dates Are Great: When you plan your date, do something where you can challenge each other and have fun. Go bowling. Play miniature golf. Go to one of those pottery places where you can paint a mug. Take your dogs for a walk. Go get some ice cream. Instead of just having dinner, take a walk around a lake. Do something that’s casual, fun and no pressure. The problem with going to dinner on a date is that is can feel very high pressure. You are sitting across from each other with nothing to do but watch each other chew and resume swap. Do something more fun than that, and the more child-like the activity the better. Plus activity dates give you lots of easy conversation topics.

4.Have No Expectations: Even though you are so excited to be out with this woman, you really don’t know who she is yet so why have expectations? When you have expectations, you have pressure to make things work. By remaining present on the date and by not thinking ahead to other dates, you’ll actually have more fun (which will give the date a much better chance of being successful). The reason why so many dates go south is because you’re thinking ahead during the date. In reality, though, all a woman wants is the real you. She wants you being present and being engaged in the moment with her. She wants the real you, not the “playing it safe” version of you.

5.Don’t Worry About The Goodnight Kiss: If you both have a good time on a date, then don’t worry about the goodnight kiss. So many times, guys feel like they have to “seal it with a kiss.” So many times, guys will start thinking about the goodnight kiss the entire last part of the date. It’s like it’s the 4th quarter of a football game and they’re planning their comeback, when what they should be doing is just enjoying the play-by-play. When you walk her to her car, just give her a hug or a little kiss on the lips. Don’t worry about the full-blown makeout session. Women love foreplay, and they love to be left wondering about that passionate kiss they will have with you.

6.Follow Up With A Second Date: If you had a good time and she had a good time, then why leave her in suspended animation? Ask her out for a second at the end of the first date, and ask her to do something you both talked about enjoying on the first date. That way, when she goes home and does the play-by-play with her friends, she’s going to say that you’re one of the few guys who didn’t leave her wondering what she did right or wrong on that first date. You will stand out among all the “other guys” she’s met.

As a man, you want to be a leader. You need to remember that women love romantic comedies. They are always looking for that serendipitous moment where a man just knows things about her and takes her to her favorite coffee shop without even having to ask her which one that is. You want to be the leader, not the follower. You want to lead her on a romantic journey. So taking her to a restaurant and watching each other chew just isn’t going to cut it. It’s time to get creative.