Yes I know you all think Tom Brady is cute but lets dive into something deeper today.

And guys chime in you will really like the advice I am giving the women.

I have a confession as a man I need to make to all the women: We men are clueless about anything subliminal that you do. We really are. You need to be obvious to get our attention.

For any of you who have lived with a man (whether it was a boyfriend, a husband or a brother), this will probably sound familiar. As you leave the house one day, you ask a man to clean up or straighten up a bit while you’re gone. So what does he do? He goes to the sink, puts a few things in the dishwasher . . . and that’s it. Meanwhile there are still dog hair tumbleweeds traveling across the living room floor and laundry piles up to the ceiling. When questioned about those, he inevitably says “I didn’t notice those.”

Men don’t notice small details. They have no idea about the little clues. Men need the obvious. Women need to really understand this, especially when it comes to communicating their interest in men.

Women need to realize that it is not only okay, but necessary, that they show men they are interested. So many women I’ve coached will tell me they flirt with men all the time but never get any response. When I ask them what they did that they were calling “flirting,” virtually every one will tell me they “glanced over at him a couple times” or they “smiled at him a couple times quickly” or something similar.

These two second glances and quick smiles simply do not constitute flirting in the eyes of a man. They are simply not obvious enough.

When many women go to flirt with a man, they do something they believe to be flirting but which is in reality is something too subtle for that man to notice it. So despite that woman’s interest, the man will leave that situation thinking she didn’t like him.

When I say that you need to show interest that is obvious, I am not talking about you grabbing a man and sticking your tongue down his throat as you grind up against him. What I mean by showing interest are things like smiling a bit more or touching his arm a little bit when you talk to him. I mean that you need to use your body language to express your interest. Lean in a little when you talk to him, Flirt with him. Laugh at his jokes. Engage him in some deeper conversation.

If you’re interested in a man you meet, don’t wait for him to ask you out. Say something to him like “I really enjoyed this great conversation. Hopefully we’ll run into each other again some day.” Let him know you’re interested.

Not only is it okay to show a man you’re interested, but you should show men you’re interested because you want to be in control of your dating life. If you think about it there are really only two choices: you can either start to show your interest or you can continue to do nothing (or to use subtle gestures which convey the same message as nothing to men).

Every time I address this issue, I get tons of emails from women saying some version of this: “David, I can’t do these things. If I do, men are going to think I’m coming onto them and will just think I want to sleep with them.” Let me address this misperception so we can clear it up once and for all.

If you are making out with a guy in his living room, he is going to assume that the two of you are just going to have a makeout session in the living room all night long. The only way we men know you want to sleep with us, even in that situation, is if you say “Let’s get naked and go in the bedroom.” Once again, men don’t pick up on subtlety and even on the semi-obvious.

So the fact is that if you like us, it’s okay to show some interest. We are not going to over-think or assume more about it than what it is. If you smile, lean in and touch our arm when you’re talking to us, we’re not going to think we’re going to get to hook-up with you right there and then or that you want to drag us off to bed.

All we think is that you like us, that we can ask you out . . . and this could potentially be a relationship. You need to remember this the next time your head is telling you that we’re reading all these other things into everything you do.

So ladies, take control of your dating lives by showing us when you’re interested. Not only is it okay to do that . . . but we men could not be happier when you do.

This blog is not just for men today. The same exercises will work for women who want to meet men!

Here’s a great little question after a bootcamp – and this actually felt like a real bootcamp too – 90º, 90% humidity, thunder, lightening and heavy rain as we marched through the streets of NYC meeting all sorts of people along the way.

This is a transcript from an actual conversation that we had on Saturday when Yakub and I were coaching Mike.

Mike has a question. Mike?

Mike: What are some strategies that you use to stay present in the moment?

David: Kub?

Yakub: Alright, one of the things that I do is tell myself, STOP – when your head is thinking way too much, you can pretend you see a stop sign, and just say, STOP – where am I? What do I see? Right now!

David: Another thing that I do is a bit more Zen-like – his method is pretty Zen as well, but I’ll sit there – like when we were laying on the grass. I feel around everything that’s around me. It’s like, oh man, this grass feels so good. I don’t think anything else.

Or if we’re in a store? I don’t think, alright, there’s no chicks in this store, we’ve got to go – I think to myself, alright, I’m just going to enjoy the store. I’m going to enjoy the stuff in the store, I’m going to enjoy the people in the store, and I’m going to listen really carefully. Whenever anybody talks, I’m going to make sure I’m paying full attention.

I’m going to touch things to ground me some more – another great thing to do when your mind starts wandering is to start touching things. Touch, like, breasts, vaginas – no! (Just wanted to see if everyone is paying attention!) But no, just touch things. If you’re in the supermarket, and you start wandering, you’re not really present – then go to the produce section, and start smelling the fruit.

If you’re in a coffee shop, start smelling the aromas of the coffee. If you’re in traffic, start cursing at the person ahead of you! Whatever it is – just ground yourself for that moment. Don’t allow anything else to come in there. Take advantage of that moment.

You’re in the lobby of a hotel, waiting for your buddy to come down because he’s visiting from out of town, and instead of thinking about work and other things, start people watching. Start looking at what’s going on around you. Just focus in on everything that’s around you, so you don’t start wandering.

The minute you start wandering, focus in on something in that room to ground you back. The bunny rabbit over there – anything! Focus in on it. If you feel your mind starting to wander, think to yourself, what did this person say to me last?

Client: One more thing to add to what David just said – he kind of already said it, but things around me remind me of things that I’ve experienced before. Maybe I’ll see a stop sign, or maybe I’ll see a tree, or whatever, and it will trigger a memory.

And there is a story attached to the memory, and all I have to do is stop for half a second and remember that story – and I have all of the emotions of it again, and everything associated with it again.

The whole point about how to be present during a conversation is that you’re distracted by thinking, what if I run out of stuff to talk about? The last word we spoke, the last memory we had – there’s a story attached to it and there’s more to talk about there.

David: Perfect.

Tomorrow I am going to post the perfect summer workout. So every man and woman will be in the shape of their lives!

This is one podcast you can’t afford to miss!

See you tomorrow!