Then all of a sudden, you get in your head. You think to yourself, This is too easy. This can’t be that easy. This woman can’t be attracted to me. If you’re a woman, you think, This guy can’t be THAT into me, the way he’s looking at me. This is way too easy.

Then you start going deeper into your head, circling through all the bad neighborhoods up there. You basically start talking yourself out of the great things that are happening right now. All of a sudden, the conversation changes, the energy changes in the conversation. The attitudes of the people around you change, the way they respond to you changes. And then, it’s over.

They look at you. You look at them. You say, “Hey, it was nice talking to you.” They say, “Yeah, it was.” And then—because you broke the moment—they leave. If you’re a guy, you usually hit yourself over the head at this moment because you got into your head. You say to yourself, I can’t believe I didn’t get her phone number! We were having such a great conversation until I jumped into my head and broke the moment. If you’re a woman, you think to yourself, I can’t believe it! Why didn’t I tell the guy I had a good time talking to him? Why didn’t I just give him my phone number?

Can You Kill The Moment?

When you break a moment because the interaction is going too smoothly, you’ve got what I call “broken moment” mentality. You just can’t believe it could be going down this easily. You can’t believe it’s not as hard as you always thought it was.

So the next time, if you’re a man who breaks moment, look at the woman you’re talking to, look at her during those awkward 30 seconds before you leave, and say, “I’ve got to confess something. I just broke the moment.” She’ll look at you and say, “What?” “I just broke the moment. I was having such a good time and all of a sudden I realized, ‘Man, I’d love to get together with you!’ And I got inside my head for a second, and I basically stopped the train of conversation we were having.” Then you smile. She’ll appreciate your honesty. She’ll appreciate that you’re being real.

If you’re a woman, say the same thing. Say, “This is the moment that I always hate. Is he going to ask me out or is he not asking me out–because I’d love to get together with you. Here, take down my number.”

Whether you’re a man or a woman, you’ve got to put yourself out there. Be vulnerable. Try to be vulnerable when the moment is broken, because most people are so afraid of being real, most people think that the slick, great, Hollywood-movie version of themselves is the version they need to be at all times. But in reality, it’s not.

In reality, all you want to be is real.

But they don’t just talk your ear off. It’s like every story they tell sounds like a novel.

You’re 100 pages into the story, and they still haven’t paused for a breath. You’re on your third cup of coffee, they’re 200 pages into the novel, and the stories usually pertain to nothing that really matters or had any relation to the conversation you we having.

You have just met who I call the epic story person. Epic story people are always nice people. They really mean well. But they just don’t know how to wrap it up and give you the Cliff Notes version of the story.

When I tell a story, I’m all about the Cliff Notes version. I’ll give you a couple minutes, I’ll make it fun and exciting. Then I get to the point, deliver the punch line, and I’m done with it.

When I hear a story, I don’t need to hear from somebody the very first chapter since the beginning of time. I don’t need to know every little detail about other people that have nothing to do with the story I’m being told. I’m not going to remember all that detail anyway, and if you’re an epic story teller, neither is anybody else you are telling your story to.

So if you know that you’re an epic story person, start thinking to yourself a bit about how much talking you do to other people. I’m sure your stories are great and entertaining, but start coming up with the Cliff Notes version of all your great stories. No matter how entertaining your stories are, nobody has time for a two hour movie. We all have ADD after a certain point. We all need a little commercial break. So treat it like the news, and wrap it up in a two and a half minute segment. Because that’s the attention span of the average person before they start feeling the need to interrupt, say something unrelated, or want to leave out of boredom.

So Mr. or Mrs. Epic story person, you’re wonderful, you’re great, but it’s time to practice the Cliff Notes.

I want you to read this a few times and really take in a very important message.

If you can master today’s message and really take it in, you will be able to meet a ton of people of the opposite sex.

If we were as boring with our friends as we are when we try to meet the opposite sex, we’d have no friends.

Think about that for a moment.

If we were as boring with our friends as we are when we try to meet the opposite sex, we’d have no friends.

I want all of you to go out today and when you meet people of the opposite sex, talk to them like a friend.

Talk to them like they are your close friend.

Think about the moment when you see “that guy” — that confident, good-looking guy — who walks over to you and says something really cute and clever. Maybe you were in Starbucks looking for something to eat, and you were indecisive about whether you wanted a muffin or a scone.

He reads your mind and he read the moment, so he looks at you and says, “Indecisive today? If you could have anything in that case, which one would it be?” Okay, it’s something a bit stupid, cheesy, and funny . . . but something in the moment. It is kind of like what I teach men to do — to just be really present.

I always tell men to walk over and allow a woman to have a moment like this that she so desires. If the world was a perfect place then every man would embrace all of my teachings, become very natural, and allow the woman to experience that magic moment she craves.

The man, because he is able to create that moment, will then become satisfied because I truly believe that all men need to have that feeling of conquest. They like to have that feeling of conquest. They like to feel like they selected that woman.

They like to feel like they selected her, and she fell for all of the things he said. He said all of the right things at the right time, and they have this instant attraction.

How To Meet Rich Men

So in a perfect world men would be doing this every single day, women would be falling for it every single day, and people would be falling in love. People would have a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, and they would really start to see how easy life can be.

Since this is not a perfect world, however, why not try reversing the roles a bit if you are a woman? Why don’t you become a hunter, so you don’t get the guys you’re not attracted to anymore, i.e., the passive guys?

The guys you are really looking for are the ones you need to select. When a woman decides to be a hunter, there are a lot of different ways to do it — and I know all the guys appreciate this.

Guys appreciate it when a woman becomes a hunter in any way. Maybe a woman walks over to you in that coffee shop and helps you in that magic moment. Maybe a woman makes a comment on something or asks you for your opinion. Maybe a woman cracks a joke about what you have on the conveyor belt at the supermarket, and she challenges you to bring out the hunter in you — to bring out your confident side.

I used to love meeting a female hunter when I was single. It made my job a lot easier. It was also a lot more fun, because it felt like I was meeting somebody who was playful, enjoyed life, and who was not living a life full of fear and excuses.

So when you’re out and about, try being the female hunter. Smile and bait the man a little bit. Walk by, look at him him again, smile again, and bait him a little bit.

Do this, and maybe you will start meeting a different type of man. Actually, not maybe — I know you will meet a different kind of man.

Just start saying hello to guys. Make it that easy. Then maybe make a comment here and there.

Start becoming the female hunter, and you will finally be satisfied in dating because you will start meeting the guys you really want to meet. You can pull any guy out that way. Men are just looking for a little hint — a little validation — that you are interested.

Also, just wait until you check out the sex with this new kind of man you will be meeting. When you have sex with someone you actually hunted, the passion is going to be ten times that which you have experienced in the past.

This person is what I call “the conversation killer.” The conversation killer can’t just kick back and listen, and only join in when they have something to add to the current topic of conversation.

They are the person who gets annoyed because the conversation is not going their way or because they have nothing to contribute to the current topic of conversation. They always want to be able to say something during a conversation or control a conversation, and if they can’t then they will kill that conversation.

You see it all the time when you go out. You see the conversation killer strike, and then usually the entire group disburses. Yes, they all leave because they realize that they around the person who doesn’t pay attention to what other people say and who needs to be the center of attention.

A Great Conversation

Some of the best conversations I’ve ever had are ones in which I was just the listener. When you don’t know something and you can’t contribute, it’s fantastic to listen. The more you listen in life, the more you learn in life — and the more you will be able to contribute to future conversations.

So the next time you’re in a conversation that’s not swinging in your direction, listen, learn, and embrace the subject matter. If you do that, then the next time that same subject comes up in a conversation, you’ll be really glad you listened.

If you’re starting a conversation with somebody, you don’t want to be the subordinate person or the weak person. You don’t want to be the subordinate person because conversations are all about energy, and if you walk over to someone feeling weak or insecure then your energy will make that person perceive that you as a person are weak or insecure. Nobody wants to be in a conversation with someone who is weak or insecure.

Have you ever noticed that when you walk up to a woman (or walk up to a man if you’re a woman) and you’re not feeling great about yourself, that the conversation always goes the same way? It usually goes down the toilet in about fifteen seconds. It’s usually one of those conversations where you have to push the eject button almost immediately because the conversation is just plain not working.

Blah Blah Blah

The only way you can every start a successful conversation with someone is to become the attractor. You cannot be the retractor and start a great conversation.

So before you go and approach someone, you need to feel good about yourself. I can’t stress enough to all of you the importance of self-love, feeling great about yourself and really being a person you respect every single day.

If you’re needy when you walk over to someone and start a conversation, do you know what your needy energy will do? It will repel that person, because you will be the weak person.

So how do you feel good before you have every single conversation? You can do a visualization exercise about something that you love to do, or something about which you feel great that puts a smile on your face. Put whatever that is on your SmartPhone. It can be anything that is going to warm you up and make you feel really good.

For years I’ve been saying, and I want you to really understand, how important the first impression is when you meet someone. So you really have to get yourself feeling good before you have that first meeting.

Remember that you’re the director and the star of your own movie. Would you want to watch a movie about a weak person walking up to someone and having a conversation? No, you wouldn’t.

So you’ve really got to start feeling good about yourself. All of the power to start a great conversation with someone and to attract someone starts within you. It starts with who you are as a person and how you feel about yourself.

There is no shortcut, magic pill, or go-to phrase that someone can give you that will allow you to start a successful conversation with someone if you don’t feel good about yourself as a person when you start it. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it doesn’t matter what you say.

This is so important, and I stress this all the time. Every single person who comes to one of my seminars or Bootcamps understand this principle, and they have gone on to be a master communicator.

If you walked into a business meeting and started the conversation as the subordinate person, how do you think that business meeting would go? It’s no different when you meet someone socially. So if you want to be a master communicator, understanding this principle is where it all starts.

Here’s a great video that I did on the topic as well.

Have a great weekend!

So when you read today’s blog think about how you can use my funny observations as your openers to engage the world around you.

I drove by a Toyota lot the other day, and I saw a couple of really ugly cars. I started thinking to myself, “What happens to all of these cars? Is there really an ass for every seat? Do they all get sold?”

I know the cars that don’t sell and get a little old on the lot will go to an auction where some other dealer will buy them. Usually a small used car lot will buy a car at the auction that a big franchise dealer wholesales.

Are there some cars, though, that just never get sold? Are there some cars that just go from lot to lot and sit there, and nobody ever wants them?

There just seems to be so much inventory of so many things in life. Have you ever gone to a Nordstrom’s and looked at all the clothes? You know they can’t all be sold. Where do they go?

Of course they first get passed on to Marshall’s and then to Ross (and maybe some other stores), but what happens if they don’t get sold there? Do they just get exported somewhere else?

We’re such a “make more stuff” culture. We’re constantly producing things — televisions, clothes, cars etc. Where does all this stuff go?

Where does all the fruit go? Do you ever go to Whole Foods or to the supermarket and see all the fruit that is just sitting there?

You want to buy a peach, and when you reach for one you find it’s mushy. You think to yourself, “Well, that was a waste. That poor peach. It made this long journey from a tree to a truck to the fruit market, and now where will it go?” Do they throw it away, or give it away?

How about all the food that is at the “ready to eat” counters? They make all that prepared food. Where does it go? In the trash?

There are so many needy people out there. I wonder if these stores give the food to the needy or if they just throw it out.

More Stuff To Sell

What about the clothes that never end up being bought? Are they just thrown out? How about the cars that are never bought or sold at auction?

I think we should set up something. There must be some way to get all the stuff that is never bought or that nobody wants to people who cannot afford it.

There is so much extra surplus in the world. Does anyone else wonder where all this stuff goes, or is it just me? Maybe it’s just my crazy creative mind always thinking about things and processing stuff.

I’d like to hear what all of you think about this topic, and about where you think all this stuff goes.

I know some of it goes to Craigslist. You can find the weirdest things in the world on Craigslist. Where does the rest of it go?

Also, who really buys those orange colored Range Rovers? I can’t imagine. The other day I was driving around and saw a pink PT Cruiser — the exact thing I was craving the day that I was hung over, drunk, and needed a little bit of Pepto-Bismol.

So let’s hear from all of you today about this…

“Today is my day!”

Now the real question is… “Do you really believe that?”

Today’s podcast is all about your belief system.

BE LIKE A NEW YORK JET!

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

For those of you who have yet to see the now famous Bart Scott interview check it out.

Thanks Zach from the blog for sending this to me.

Thought you guys would get a kick out of this sad but true way we communicate.

And here is a great clip on how men talk.

This should get all of you excited for this weeks games.

Are you able to stay motivated everyday and do the things you self talk yourself to death about?

Today I talk all about how to stick with your dating action plan.

Listen now below!

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