People aren’t entitled to happiness. People have to work for happiness just as they have to work for a successful career, and in the very same way they have to work and save for a house, a car, a stereo, retirement, or even to maintain friendships.

When you believe you’re entitled to something, you won’t go after it. You passively wait around hoping whatever you feel entitled to will be handed to you on a silver platter. When no one serves it up to you, you become angry, upset, and frustrated. “Damn it,” you proclaim. “I’m a good person. I do the right things. I’m entitled to this.” You become reactive, instead of proactive.

In our daydreams, we’d all like the most important and most difficult to achieve things in our lives to be handed to us. Many of us sit around, look out the window and dream of being famous, admired, rich, and super successful. Yet, in reality, that just doesn’t happen to most of us. However, even if it did just happen to us overnight, would we really be able to appreciate it the same way as if we’d strived and worked hard for it? Most likely not. Therefore, it’s in the process of striving for something that we find the greatest rewards. We grow by working for something, not just getting something.

Put effort into finding a mate

You may desire dates and to fall in love, but you’re not entitled. You must put effort into finding a mate just like you must work for anything else in life. You’ll have to be proactive instead of reactive. You’ll have to take chances, move around, explore, open up, go against your natural human instinct to wait for a prince- or princess-charming.

Now, some of you may say, “David, I’ve never felt entitled to love. I’ve done everything I can to find someone. I’ve dated hundreds of people, done blind dates, Internet dating, and speed dating. I walk up to people on the street and introduce myself. I’ve had one relationship after another. Yet, nothing substantial has ever come out of any of it. I’m getting older. I don’t feel entitled, I just feel tired and worn down.” My response to these people — Keep Going!

In the professional world, some people don’t become successful at a career until later in life. If they had stopped pushing for success after some negative experiences, they may never have had the profound impact that they eventually did. For instance, Abraham Lincoln lost more than five elections before he was elected president of the United States and Henry Miller didn’t sell his first book until he was in his forties and even then he was broke until late in his life. Keep Going!

Success happens at different times

Success happens to each of us at different times in our lives and the same is true when it comes to love. So, don’t compare yourself to your friends or the average person your age. You may be forty and still single, while all of your friends are married with kids. However, they may be in unhappy marriages, headed for divorce, or even cheating on their significant others. They may sit around and daydream of the days when they were free to experience the world and actually be jealous of you-despite telling you otherwise. Consistently be aware of negative thoughts and try to look at the big picture.

Start to look at your life as one long journey where there is no timeline as to when significant events must happen to you. Erase the idea that you must go to school in your teens and early twenties, get married in your mid-twenties, have kids in your later twenties and early thirties, build wealth in your forties and fifties, retire in your sixties, and start dying in your seventies. Leave this conventional thinking to the sheep in our society. You may not find the great love of your life until you’re sixty — and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The pop culture myth

We’re bombarded with pop culture. It’s next to impossible to go through a single moment of your everyday life without encountering a book, a magazine, television, advertising, music, billboards, movies-and they all send a message about how love is supposed to happen.

D. H. Lawrence once said, “…the real trouble about women is that they must always go on trying to adapt themselves to men’s theories of women.” If Lawrence were alive today, he may reword that bit of wisdom to read, “…the real trouble with society is that it must always go on trying to adapt itself to the theories of those few people controlling the media.”

The most dangerous theory that the media tries to sell you is that love is fate. Movies like “Serendipity” and “Sleepless in Seattle” play on our hopes that our love is predetermined and written in the stars. Ask yourself how many times you’ve seen the storylines in those two particular movies happen in real life! Rarely, if ever, right?

Love is not fate or predetermined

Recognize that love is not fate or predetermined. In fact, there isn’t just one person in this world that would be a great match for you, there’s many. There are over five billion people in the world. Is it realistic to think the preordained one for you just happens to be living in your hometown and that you’re meant to meet them between the ages of twenty and twenty-five? No.

Sometimes as an audience, we forget that we’re watching escapism. We forget that we’re not in a movie and tend to believe that our lives should be like one. Recognize that if you think this way, you’re setting yourself up for a disaster.

Don’t buy into the myths that Hollywood sells to you for entertainment and allow it to affect your reality. Don’t let what you watch on the big or small screen convince you to passively wait for love to fall into your lap. Chances are, it won’t. You have to get out there, be proactive, and start meeting new people everyday so you increase your chances of finding someone that you relate to. If you meet the right person, love will develop over time. Your only fate is the fate you create for yourself by being proactive.
The societal myth

Have you ever complained to someone you know about your dating life and they try to console you by saying, “Oh, honey. Don’t worry. It’ll happen. The right person will come along when you least expect it. That’s how I met my spouse.”

For the majority of us, the right person will come along when we least expect it, but not before we’ve worked to find them. Some people are lucky — they marry their high school or college sweethearts and live happily ever after. The majority of us aren’t that lucky. Yet, there’s nothing wrong with having to work a little bit harder or wait a little bit longer to find the right one. As I said before, when they do come along, it will make you appreciate them even more.

Personally, when someone I knew in a relationship use to say to me, “it will come along when you least expect it,” I got annoyed. People mean well when saying it, but it’s also condescending and doesn’t make you feel any better about your current state of loneliness. Perhaps this can make you feel better; the majority of people, your family, friends, and co-workers know nothing more about love or finding it than you do. Again, many people get lucky at a young age, many people have worked harder at finding love than they lead you to believe, and many people may not be as complicated and sophisticated as you-they may have settled for the first person that came along that was attentive to their needs.

When it comes to the societal myth, my advice is simple. If certain friends, family, and co-workers of yours don’t understand the concept of proactive dating, then don’t talk to them about your dating life. It will only serve to frustrate you. When you need a boost either reread this article (or get a copy of my book) book or call upon people that relate to your current situation. It’ll make you feel better to know that you have people to lean on who have the objectives.
The tradition myth

Many women believe that men are always supposed to make the first move and that it’s a man’s responsibility to do the courting. Books like “The Rules” teach women how to play men with regard to this tradition. It’s trickery and it’s unhealthy. Women must stop buying into this deceptive nonsense on how to draw men to them by playing games.

It’s the year 2011. Women run large corporations, governments, are successful doctors and lawyers, and are highly paid movie stars. If women have become assertive in their careers, why do they fear the same sense of empowerment when it comes to men? Most of the time I believe they’re simply afraid they’ll scare men off or be perceived as “loose.” The fact is, if you scare a man for starting a conversation with him and asking to get together some time, he’s the wrong man for you anyway. You don’t have to live your life playing to the backward thinking of men who aren’t evolved.

Men, if a woman approaches you, be flattered and thank your lucky stars that for once in your life you didn’t have to make the first move. Women, go after what you want. Get out there and get in the ballgame. Don’t spend your life passively waiting for men to approach you. If you see someone you want, go after them.

The introvert myth

Introverted people develop shyness from an early age — it’s every bit as much of their personality to keep to themselves as it is for an extrovert to be the life of the party. Introverts are non-aggressive in most areas of their lives, not just when it comes to dating.

Unfortunately, most introverts, because of their shyness, become wallflowers. In the world of dating, this translates into their taking what they can get. Rarely, if ever, would an introvert see someone they were interested in and approach that person. Instead, they stand around like magnets, hoping that someone will be attracted to them and make the first move. They’re condemned to a self-imposed prison where they wait around and simply hope that they get a great cellmate.

Being introverted is a crutch that timid people rely on to stay within their safety zones. “I can’t approach people. I’m too shy,” they say. It’s a myth that introverts can’t be more proactive in their quest to find dates or love.

To introverts, the very thought of approaching a new person is anxiety provoking. What introverts don’t realize is that it doesn’t have to be that way. Just because you’ve had problems meeting people in the past doesn’t mean you won’t have new opportunities. One of the reasons you may feel so much anxiety is that no one ever taught you how to approach people in a creative, non-aggressive way.

Just by learning how to nonchalantly start a conversation with another person of the opposite sex, you will feel more comfortable. Shyness is no longer an excuse to passively wait around!

Don’t buy into the myths that say that love will fall into your lap, that there’s only one person out there for you, that men should always make the first move, or that you’re too shy to meet anyone. Instead, rid your mind of them, and if they start to creep back, keep pushing them down. Why be a passive waiter and condemn yourself to a life of missed opportunities? You do the selecting. Love will happen when you least expect it, but don’t expect love to just happen. Give it a push.

I know this is comedy but I know some of you can relate to this poor clueless guy named Darrel.

Enjoy and have a great Friday.

In that blog, I gave some advice on how to handle that situation, including leaving the decision of whether to stay talking to you or to leave with Mr. Annoying up to her. A few days after I posted that blog, I got an email from a guy who told me he had tried what I said and that it had worked! This guy said what I recommended in that blog, and (not surprisingly) the woman chose to stay with him instead of leaving with Mr. Annoying.

This guy was not just writing to let me know how well this technique worked though. His email went on to say that after the woman rejected Mr. Annoying, he started to try to pick a fight with this guy right there in the bar.

Here’s a guy who just can’t handle that someone else talked to the girl to whom he wanted to be talking. So what do you do in that situation? Here’s exactly what you do.

You take the girl by the hand, look at her and say, “Let’s go sit down over there with some of my friends. I want to introduce you to my crew.” Then you take her by the hand and sit down with your friends, or grab a table if you’re not there with friends.

In other words, you walk away. Mr. Annoying is a bully. You walk away from bullies.

Mr. Annoying is so sexually frustrated in his life, that all he wants to do is fight. Bullies like that are so pissed off that they don’t get what they want, that they go out at night with aggression and ready to fight. So you walk away.

There is power in walking away, because real men will walk away from Mr. Annoying. Less powerful men will challenge Mr. Annoying. They will engage with him.

A powerful man doesn’t do this. You are not only being a powerful man when you do this, but you are also showing that woman that you are a powerful man who has restraint as part of your personality.

That woman is going to admire the fact that you don’t have a temper. Women don’t want to be with a guy like that, because it reminds her of so many other guys she has known in the past.

Men are very testosterone-laden and women don’t want to see that crazy hot-tempered side of you. Women want men who are very even-keeled and can handle all situations.

Do that, and she’s going to look at you as someone with strength. It’s actually probably going to turn her on. The fact that you walked away from the idiot will turn her on, because a lot of guys would have just gone ahead and engaged with him (and maybe even got into a fight with him).

Let me tell you something, if you get into that fight with Mr. Annoying then neither of you would end up with that woman. Both of you would have gone home alone.

The lesson here guys? Walk away.

Click Here to read how to be a powerful man and handle any situation in a way that will set you apart from all the other guys and will attract women to you even more.

As we’re talking, I turn around and there is a guy standing there wearing a wizard hat. Here is this 30-something year old man standing there wearing a gigantic wizard hat. It’s not even close to Halloween.

I looked at the checkout girl and said, “Have you seen the wizard?” She started laughing. It’s funny when people wear outrageous, over-the-top things.

I am all about individuality. I’m all about being yourself and dressing in a unique way.

This guy, though, was in his own league of unique. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants along with his wizard hat.

When you see someone being so over-the-top, it makes you wonder what they are trying to get out of dressing that way. What did this guy want from wearing that wizard hat?

Was he seeking attention, or was he someone who just loves being eccentric (and kind of a freak)? Was he someone who just likes to create a reaction in others?
I always wonder these things when I see someone like that guy in Whole Foods.

I truly believe in individuality, as you all know. I talk about this in all my products, and my coaching is all geared toward helping you become the most powerful and confident version of yourself with the opposite sex.

I think, however, that someone who goes out wearing a wizard hat is really starving for attention. I think that person is not only looking for attention, but is also looking to get a rise out of people.

I mean, it’s really not a natural look. You don’t want to look like Harry Potter when you’re 30 years old. You don’t want to wear a wizard hat or walk around holding a broomstick at age 30.

So for all of you who feel the need to dress in outrageous things just to get attention, you need to realize that you can actually get attention in other ways. You can get attention based on what’s inside you — allowing what’s inside you come out and by expressing yourself.

It’s a beautiful thing to express yourself. Saying what you want. Being able to express what you feel. Being true to yourself and who you are as a person.

Those things will get you lots of attention. Trust me, you don’t need a wizard hat to get attention. You just need to allow yourself to be free, and realize what a great person you are deep inside.

None of us are perfect, and that is what makes life so interesting. It’s our imperfections — the way we conduct ourselves and who we are — that make life really interesting.

There is no perfect person in life. There is no perfection person for you in dating.

The person you end up with is not going to be perfect. They are going to have flaws. They are going to do things that irritate you. There are going to be things that you battle about together.

The best way to attract a great person, is to work on yourself first. Fall in love with yourself.

Accept who you are. Accept your flaws.

Accentuate the positive things in your life, and believe in abundance. If you truly believe there are a lot of great people to meet out there, then eventually you will meet that perfect person for you — that perfect person who is imperfect in every way.

It’s all about you first though. What have you done to work on yourself today? What have you done to embrace yourself?

Did you wake up this morning and think about negative things first? Life is about attitude and mindset. The more positive your attitude is, the more positive people you’re going to attract.

Let me ask you a question. How many times have you been talking to a woman and, like magic, other women come over and start talking to you?

Guys always think this phenomenon is the result of women thinking you have a girlfriend and thus must understand how to talk to women. In reality, this phenomenon is totally attributable to an energy thing.

When you’re flirting, smiling and being real with a woman, other women see this energy that you’re putting out and the way the woman you’re talking to is responding to it. Women want emotions. Women can sense emotions. It is called women’s intuition.

Have you ever came home from work, and even though you told your girlfriend that you had a great day, she says, “Something is wrong.” They’re always right about it too. That’s their intuition.

Women read emotions better than men. They’re more in tune with emotions than men are.

So when they see you talking to a waitress in a restaurant, and the waitress is smiling and laughing, you will notice that other women will all of a sudden come and sit down next to you.

Why do they do that? They do that for a few reasons.

For one thing, you will stand out as being different from almost every other guy and how almost every other guy acts. Two, your energy will be very open. Three, they see how other women respond to you.

This is why talking to everyone all day long is equally important to meeting great women as going directly up to the women you want to meet. It’s really as simple as that. It’s an energy thing. Women love to talk to guys who bring good energy to other people.

How would you feel if you were the president of your local coffee shop or of your local Whole Foods?

Imagine being able to walk into any bar or being able to go into any party, and you are the person that everybody wants to get to know . . . all before you even utter a word.

If all of this sounds good to you, then today’s podcast is all about you.

You need to listen to me and my coach Adam from London as we walk you through a very emotional journey.

We will show you how to command attention wherever you go.

You’ll know exactly how to turn on that charm and charisma in every situation, and before you even speak to anybody.

That’s all I’m going to say about it. See you guys on the podcast!

Listen live now:

Click Here To Download The Podcast!

This woman is beautiful. She is everything you think you want.

You see her take a sip of her drink, play with the straw, look at her watch and check her cell phone. She looks around the room and, for just a split second, your eyes meet and you have a moment. Then she quickly looks down, and looks back at her phone again.

There you are, standing there alone at the bar with your hands in your pocket waiting for you friends. Apparently she is also waiting for her friends.

Your mind starts racing. You start thinking to yourself, “What can I say? What can I do?”

There are so many clues in this situation! She checked her watch. She checked her phone. Obviously she is waiting for her friends.

It is very easy to walk over there, look at her and say, “Obviously you are waiting for your friends. My friends are late too.” You could start chatting with her.

The problem is that your mind starts messing with you. You don’t see the obvious or, even if you did, you start to freak out the second she looks at you.

You start to ask all those questions in your head like “What can I say” and “How can I get this amazing woman’s attention?” Listen, though, to what you are saying.

You already have her attention. She already looked over at you.

It is because you are afraid and overcomplicate things so much that you don’t see the obvious signs in life. You don’t even see the wonder of this moment. You don’t even realize what a powerful moment this can be because you over-analyze things so much.

You have such a fear of embracing the unknown, that this is what is going to happen to you in this scenario: You are going to stay standing where you are and another guy is going to walk up and start talking to her.

Then her friends are going to arrive, and you are going to watch she and her friends get into a great conversation with him and his friends. When you go home, you are going to wonder what you could have done.

The truth is that you already know what you could have done. It is just your fear of the unknown that doesn’t allow you to do it.

Every day you need to face the unknown. Every day you need to push yourself to do something of which you are afraid.

Otherwise, the unknown will continue to scare you and you will end up dating women who don’t intrigue you and to whom you are not attracted. There is nothing worse than having sex with a woman who doesn’t intrigue you.

You also don’t want to ever end up in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t intrigue you. Fear of the unknown is what drives us to loneliness.

I talk more about how to approach women in any situation without feeling any of this kind of fear or anxiety. CLICK HERE to check this out now.

He said, “I was hanging out with Khiem and his girlfriend, and there was this girl we ran into who was one of those loud girls. Everything she said was just over-the-top — amplified and loud. How do I deal with that? I mean, she was pretty. I thought she was hot, but how do I relate to her?”

Here was my answer: You don’t.

It’s so funny. As a man, we are so visual. We get so caught up with “the hot girl” that we tend to really never think about what it would like to hang out with her.

Can you imagine having a woman like the one Will met over for Thanksgiving dinner? She gets asked what she’d like on her plate, and she screams “drumstick!!” at the top of her lungs.

This person does not match who you are. This is not your personality style at all. This is not a person with whom you would get along.

So forget the fact that your penis is attracted to her, because that’s really all that is happening. Your eyes are attracted to her. Your penis felt some movement because it was attracted to her. That is all there is to it though.

It’s called penile attraction. Thank God it’s not fatal, because if it was a fatal attraction then other things would happen.

It is just penile attraction. That is all it is, so walk away from it.

You don’t vibe with her. You don’t relate to her. You two have totally different personalities. So walk away.

Sometimes I’ll see a guy on a date who really . . . stands out. The woman he’s on the date with looks hot and sexy.

The man, however, looks like he was just at a Microsoft convention — he’s wearing a Microsoft t-shirt, and worn stretched out jeans up as high on his body as his grandfather’s pants. Then he wonders why he doesn’t get a second chance to go out with this woman.

There is a famous saying that goes, “First impressions are everything.” Make a great first impression, and it could last forever.

Today’s video talks about first impressions, and what women really desire from a man in terms of fashion.

Enjoy . . . and have a great Saturday!