Posts Tagged ‘how to approach men’

Women send me emails all the time telling me that they have gone out and smiled at a ton of guys, but aren’t getting the the kind of response from men they want. They want to know if they are doing something wrong. My answer? Maybe…

Smiling is critical to being successful at meeting men, but the question is: When you are smiling, what does your body language say about you?

Are you smiling and running? (Are you doing the old “smile and run?”) Are you quickly smiling so that when men see you do it they are not quite sure if it’s a smile or not?  

Conversly, are you a woman who blows men away when she smiles because when you smile at a man you smile fully and look directly in his eyes?

I know when a woman stares right in my eyes and gives me a great smile – whether I’m attracted to her or not – that I ALWAYS give her a great smile back. I can’t help it. I’ll think “Wow, did you see that smile? There’s something amazing about it.”

There really is something amazing about a smile like that. It’s about an energy.  

So my question to all of you women who are telling me that you are out there smiling and saying hello to men without success is this: How are you actually doing it? Are you saying hello like you really care, or are you saying hello and running? Are you really smiling at somebody from your heart and not just out of fear?

What does your body language say about you? Are you open when you smile, or are your arms folded and you are mainly looking down at the ground?  It takes a lot more than to “just smile.” It takes actually being able to give that smile the right way.

I tell women to smile doing the exact same things I do when I smile. When I smile at someone, I look directly in their eyes and smile directly at them. My body language is not closed – my hands aren’t in my pockets and my arms are not folded.

When I say “Hello, how are you today?” I always sound like I’m talking to an old friend. It’s all about your voice tone. It’s all about the way you smile.  

If you nervously run up to a guy and say “Hello, how are you?” then he is going to wonder what’s wrong with you and why you are so nervous. If, however, you do it like you’re talking to an old friend then he’s going to respond much more positively to you.

So the next time you smile and say hello to a guy, do it like you’ve known him forever. Pretend that you’re actually going over to say hello to an old friend when you do it. The next time you smile at a guy, pretend like you are smiling at an old friend.

Here is a great exercise I tell many of my female clients to do to help with this. I tell them to put a picture of someone you love as the home screen on your phone. It could be a picture of your dog or your niece at her birthday party. Choose whatever makes you smile when you look at it.

Then the next time you feel intimidated when you see a man to whom you are attracted, all you have to do is look at the home screen on your phone and keep that smile you make looking at the picture when you smile at that guy. This is easy and won’t appear strange to the guy. It is so common for people to be constantly staring at their phones, that the guy will think you were looking at your phone because you just got an email or text message.

What you will really be doing is building up your smile confidence, so you are able to deliver that incredible, killer smile.  That kind of smile is believable and will make a guy want very badly to talk to you.

Trust me on this. When a woman comes over and smiles at me and she gives me that smile, all I can ever think about is that intoxicating smile and how badly I want to talk to her.

Today’s video will show you exactly how important body language is in being attractive: