On the internet, the majority of people are ‘athletic and toned,’ yet we live in a country where most people don’t work out.

It seems like the internet is always bucking all trends. There’s a ton of women on the internet that are 39 years old but yet there are no women that are 40 or 41. It seems like everyone wants to remain 39, 29, 49 – no one wants to cross over to the 4-0, 3-0, or 5-0!

Internet dating is really interesting because to succeed there, you should really put up an array of photos of yourself. The fact is that you look exactly the way you do. There’s no denying that. You can’t just check a box that says ‘athletic and toned’ when you’re not, because eventually you’ll have to show up on the date and the other person is going to see that you’ve never worked out.

You’re not going to be able to convince them – you won’t become a date salesman who sits there and convinces someone to like the body type they don’t like, or to become attracted to you when they aren’t.

So the best thing to do is to put up five pictures of yourself: three body shots (I’m not talking naked ones, or bikini shots, or muscle shots for guys) but three shots where you are standing head to toe. Three current shots that show exactly what you look like today, so there are no surprises.

The reason that most dates don’t work out is because the person was afraid to put up a picture because they didn’t like the way their body looked. They then go on the date, the other person isn’t attracted to them, and they don’t call them back. You can eliminate that step – why go out on so many first dates when you are misrepresenting yourself?

The fact is that you should be proud of who you are. Your body is your body. It’s exactly what it’s going to be, and you shouldn’t compare it to anybody else. You need to embrace it. So put yourself up there on the net, be who you are, and don’t try to sell yourself like a used car!

It’s funny, when I look for used cars, I’m always weary of the car that only has one picture up of it. Doesn’t she want to seduce me? Doesn’t she want me to take her for a test drive? Shouldn’t I see the wheels and the shiny inside? Shouldn’t I see the leather interior? I hate looking at a used car that the owner says is in absolutely perfect condition, and there are rips on the leather seats. You don’t want to be the car that has the rips on the leather seats.

You want to show everyone who you are. Get a friend, take a few pictures, smile, and be proud of who you are.

You know what? In the long run, you’re going to attract a lot more people doing it this way, and you won’t have to worry about what body type box you need to check off. If they see you, they’ll know what type of body you have!

There’s a couple of different ways to meet people on the beach. One of the best ways to do so – and you can do this on the lake too – the only place you can’t do this is at a pool.

So if someone is sitting there on a blanket, of course, you sit down next to him or her. You put your blanket down next to theirs, and you do the old, “oh man, I forgot my sunscreen. Can I borrow some?” This is always a great way to open up somebody.

Another good way to do it is to bring some Frisbees, balls, and other things, and have a Frisbee toss with your buddy. Of course, let the Frisbee fall onto their blanket – or near their blanket, don’t hit them on the head or anything! But let it fall directly near their blanket, and then look at them and say, “oh man, my buddy has a bad arm. Could you do me a favor and whip it back at him?”

Get them engaged in the game. People come to the beach to have a good time, so get them engaged in the game.

Another thing to do, which I love, is go down in the water and put your toes in the water. Of course the water will be a little on the chilly side in the beginning of the summer, and if a woman walks up to the tip of the water, you look at her and say, “alright, I’ll race you in! Winner buys the lemonade. Ready? One, two, three,” and make it a game. Start running in a little bit and look at her, and if she hasn’t started running, turn back and say, “aw, come on, what are you, chicken?”

Play a game. Be like a little kid going to the beach. “What are you, chicken? Come on, I dare you. Let’s go. I’ll give you a head start.” Have some fun with it. You race them into the water; you have a little bit of fun.

One of my favorite things to do at the beach is go to the store and buy a bucket full of little kid stuff. Buy a shovel, a rake, buy some animal figures to create sand monsters; buy different sized buckets to create sand castles. Go to the edge of the water, pour all of your toys out, and start building a sand castle.

You want to see people gravitate over to you? Give each person a task. The minute a woman looks at you, you say, “alright, fine, you’re going to be the Block Girl.” “Alright, fine, you work the rake.” “You build the moat.” It’s about having fun. Everything is about really having fun and doing something different.

Another way I really like to meet people at the beach is by going to a store that has really fun beach towels. Maybe they have a Spongebob beach towel, or a Smurfs beach towel, or whatever it is. Get the biggest, funniest beach towel you can possibly have. Get two of them, actually, and spread them out on the beach, and use them as your towel.

Now you have something to talk about. A woman walks by, and she looks at you and says, “Spongebob, man, what are you? Ten years old?” You can say, “it’s the beach, come on! It’s about having fun and being a child again!” It’s just about lightening up. It’s the summertime, and you can just have a good time.

Another thing you can do is bring a cooler full of water, and you can basically have extra water for people. So when some one walks by you, you can offer them some water. They look in your cooler, and you can say, “hey do you want a bottle of water? I’ll give it to you for a buck. I’ll charge you a buck for that!”

It’s about having fun. Everything is about being different; everything is about having fun. Everything is about being unique. So stop being so uptight and have a good time at the beach!

Do you know what that word means when a guy says it to you? It means that he is not listening to you anymore. He has not stopped listening to you because he’s bored or because he isn’t interested in you . . . in fact it’s just the opposite.

When I guy starts to respond to you with the word “cool,” it means he is very attracted to you and is nervous. Due to his nervousness he doesn’t know what to say, so all he says is “cool.” The “cool” guy will often have his hands deep in his pockets. He’ll roll his shoulders forward a little.

So how do you get these guys to come out of the “cool” zone? How do you get them to say something other than “cool?”

I understand that when men start doing the “cool” thing, it can be a quick conversation killer. You need to understand, though, that men need a little encouragement sometimes.

What I like to do is rephrase things. I tell women all the time that if they are in a conversation with a “cool” guy, they need to rephrase what they’re talking about with him.

For example, let’s say you are talking to a guy about dogs and he tells you about his Labrador Retriever. You say “God, I love Labradors!” to which he says “cool.” Here’s where you can rephrase what he was saying back to him in a question to get the conversation back on track. So ask him “What made you get a Labrador?” This will get him talking again and off the “cool” track.

If you can get a “cool” guy talking again, he will start relaxing. He’ll realize you don’t bite and that you’re actually approachable.

So the next time a guy says “cool,” don’t take it as a sign he’s not interested in you. Take it instead as a clear sign that he IS interested in you, but you need to dial it back a bit and pull the coolness out of him.

Women tend to be better conversationalists than men. It’s just a fact of life that when you come across a “cool” guy, you are going to have to get him to stop using that one word phrase that always seems to kill a conversation. Remember that once you get the “cool” guy talking again, though, you will be back talking to a guy who will be VERY grateful you did.

One of the absolute best things you can do to make a guy want you more on a date, is at the end of the date to lean in toward him letting your lips touch his ear as you whisper “I had a great time tonight.” Then you walk away.

Let his eyes follow you as you leave. He will follow the shape of your body as you walk away, and you will leave him wanting more.

You didn’t kiss him on the lips. You didn’t kiss him on the cheek. You didn’t give him a hug or a handshake. You didn’t do anything except whisper in his ear.

Do you know why this works? It works because it clearly and unambiguously communicates exactly what you want to him, i.e., that you are interested in him (and in him wanting you) but in a way that doesn’t seem at all desperate.

Think about the alternatives. None of them achieve both these objectives. If you kiss him on the cheek, then he will immediately think you are putting him in the friend zone. If you kiss him just on the lips (and don’t involve at least a little bit of tongue), then is going to be wondering if you might just be friendly.

If you whisper in his ear, however, he will get so turned on that from that moment forward he will be just like a puppy dog coming after you. What happens when someone whispers in your ear – even if it’s to say “I’ll be right back” or “It’s so great to see you” or whatever it may be – it immediately makes you remember some great sex you had with someone who whispered certain things in your ear.

So this is one little trick you can use to not only fill a guy with desire for you, but which will get that guy to call you right away. Doing this will not in any way make a guy think you are going to sleep with him right at that moment. The only thing you will lead a guy to think when you do this is that you are one cool woman.

Are you wondering how I know this? I know this because every time a woman has ever done it to me, I couldn’t get my head out of the clouds for hours.

We talk and learn about all this because we want to meet someone who absolutely blows us away. The real reason why we spend so much time and energy working on ourselves and our inner confidence is so we can learn how to love ourselves (by understanding who we truly are and what we’re truly all about).

We do this so that one day all of a sudden out of left field we will meet someone who absolutely captivates our mind. We don’t do all this work on ourselves so we can remain alone. The whole reason we do all this is so we can meet the most amazing person we’ve ever met.

We spend such a considerable amount of time getting to know ourselves so that we can appreciate when magic happens with a most amazing person, and so we will go with it and embrace it.

This most amazing person is someone about whom we spend entire days thinking. We are anxious for each phone conversation with them. We eagerly await every text message from them.

You know what the most amazing feeling is that you can experience? It is the smile you have on your face every single time you learn something new about someone. It is equally amazing to find someone with whom you easily stay present and on the same page.

I may be using the word “amazing” too much, but when you meet someone who just blows you away it is really difficult to accurately describe in words the emotions that creates inside of you. Those emotions – that warmth you feel inside – are a combination of so many things.

It’s the anticipation of seeing that person again. It’s waking up in the morning with a smile on your face as that person pops into your mind.

It could be remembering that certain little thing they said to you that day (or even days before that). It might be remembering a lingering kiss you shared with them – a kiss you feel like you can still taste on your lips hours or even days after the kiss has ended.

It doesn’t matter what the specific things are that engender this feeling within you. There is no doubt, though, that we all desire to experience this kind of feeling.

That kind of feeling is created when every moment you are getting to know someone becomes a special moment for you. You eagerly await each phone conversation, because every new thing you learn about that person becomes one more reason why you like them and makes you like them even more.

As incredible as it feels to experience this depth of emotion about someone, it is perhaps an even better one to wake up in the morning knowing this person is out there thinking you are equally as fascinating, and amazing. That person also waits eagerly for each phone conversation with you. That person also wakes up smiling as you pop into their head. That person feels those same intense emotions inside themself about you.

Life is about experiencing this kind of magic. Most of us don’t spend enough time experiencing this kind of magic (and some miss experiencing it all together) because we are so afraid of experiencing it. I’ve written about this in a few other blogs.

Think about this. What is the point of doing all this work on ourselves unless we are willing to share ourselves with someone else? Sharing your thoughts, feelings and emotions with another person is truly the greatest high you can experience.

There is no greater feeling. There is no drug or type of alcohol that produces a high as intense and incredible as being truly emotionally, physically and spiritually connected with someone.

When is the last time you kissed someone and that kiss was so intoxicating that you were lost in that moment long after the kiss ended? Even after you said goodnight and parted company with that person, you craved and wanted more of every part of them.

You craved and wanted to hear more of their voice.
You craved and wanted to feel more of their lips.
You craved and wanted to touch them more, and to feel more of their touch on your skin.

When was the last time you experienced raw passion and lust? When was the last time you drove someone home after a soul shattering kiss and literally felt drunk, so much so that you worried that if a cop pulled you over you would be convicted of DUK (driving under the influence of kissing)? This DUK feeling is precisely how you want to feel when you’re with someone.

How about the person you wish you were still talking to even after you’ve just returned from taking them home? Every time you hang up from talking on the phone to that person you wish you could immediately call them again. You constantly want more of that person and feel like you could never get enough of them.

What about the person with whom you have sex for the first time and it is so natural that you never think about it being your first time togethe? As we all know, the first time you have sex with someone it rarely feels exactly right because you don’t know their body well enough yet and you think about it a little too much.

So if you meet someone and the very first time you have sex with them it feels so completely natural and like you already have learned each other’s bodies, that is what makes you feel as though you are meant to be with that person. You feel like your bodies communicate perfectly with each other without either of you having to speak.

Your bodies communicate with each other so deeply and intensely that you can still feel their energy inside you all throughout the next day. You anxiously anticipate the next time you will have sex with them because deep in your soul you know your connection with them will be better, more intense and more amazing.

We spend our lives working on ourselves so we can experience these kind of deep and intense emotions. We do it so we can feel that drunk-like intoxicating soul connection when you have sex.

We do it so we can feel comfort and a true sense of peace. That’s the best way to describe how it feels when you truly make love to somebody – it’s a sensation of peace. You completely stop thinking and solely are connecting with that person. Your bodies just move. You get lost in the touches, the kisses and the entire experience. If you think about it, that is what we are looking for in the best sexual connections: the ability to become totally and effortlessly lost in each other.

Life has its ups and its downs, so why not search for someone with whom you share this kind of intense emotional, physical and spiritual connection? A connection that has you excited for every phone conversation, every kiss, every little touch – so much so that you feel you can never absorb enough of that person.

Imagine falling asleep every night with the last thoughts in your mind being a yearning for more and more of every part of someone. Imagine wanting to know more about them, wanting to taste more of them, wanting to devour every word they say, and wanting to know their every thought and emotion. This is what magic feels like, what life is truly all about, and what we all should aspire to find.

Hey hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend!!

I just got out of the water I spent the early part of the day surfing!!

Hawaii is amazing and I think I found a new sport!
Onto todays blog.
When you’re in the mall and you really want to start conversations, start them based on observations. Your observations are always a good way to start conversations.

You can start by saying, “hey, look, I need some help with the furniture,” and then observe. A client and I recently went into a Pottery Barn and did this. We listened to how she talked – in this case, the woman was Russian – so I threw in, “what part of Russia are you from?” to get her to start talking about herself.

The key is to observe, to then start the conversation, and then to listen intently. Whenever you listen, you get to pick up on all of the things that you want to be able to talk about next. Instead of thinking about what you NEED to talk about, you’ll actually be able to flow with the conversation by just listening to them.

The other person is giving you all the information you need to carry on a deep conversation with them. The more you listen to them, the deeper you can go.

When she mentions that she is from Moldavia, you can say, “Moldavia, I’ve never been there. What is Moldavia known for?” What happens is that you are creating an emotion in them, and by doing that; they are going to start to have some type of connection.

By asking her about things that she actually likes, enjoys, and is a part of, you will make her think about her home. When she thinks about her home, she’s going to want to talk to you more about that and she’s going to look at you as an emotional response. She’s going to bond with you, and think, oh my god, this guy is really interested in me – most guys aren’t really interested in ME, they’re interested in the physical aspects.

You can see when she starts talking a little bit about her language, and she gets red in the face. And then it’s like, well how much money do you have? I’ve got this magic pill – at that point, you have her. It’s done. That’s all you need to think about.

Today our video is all about getting wet with women in the rain.

Have you ever wondered what to say to a woman in the rain to get her intrigued and willing to get even more wet with you.