The best way to approach a woman in a bar is to go up to her after the douche bag has just tried to pick her up and failed.
The guy always goes over there with his training wheels on – and not even decent training wheels, but the ones that are squeaky and wobbly. So he goes over and tries his ridiculous line on her, and it obviously doesn’t work.
The second he leaves, you can go over there and say, “okay, I’ve got to know: what the fuck did that guy say to you? I watched him and his friends over there, checking you out and elbowing each other to decide who was going to come over and talk to you. So, just for the sake of social research, I’ve got to know what he said to you – I bet you money he picked it out of some book, right?” (more…)
It’s interesting, because a lot of men – and I’m talking about MEN, I’m not talking about boys. As little boys, we used to look at girls and we used to rate them on a number system.
I remember being like 11 years old, and we’d look at women – well, at that time, girls – and go, “man, she’s cute, what would you rate her?” “Oh, she’s like a 6.8,” or “she’s like a 7.5.”
The problem is that any man over the age of, really, 22 should no longer be rating women on a number scale. The number system is just really ridiculous. Why are you rating a woman on a number? Really, it’s arbitrary anyway, because my 10 could be your 3. Your 3 could be my 7, your 6 could be my 6.18, and your 2.87 could be my 3.14 – wait, isn’t that Pi? (more…)
If you’re a woman, how do you know when a man is attracted to you? Are you a woman who believes that if a man doesn’t approach you that he is not interested in you?
Do you know that a LOT of men have trouble approaching women? A lot of men suffer from a disease they call “approach anxiety” (although I call it “self-inflicted torture!”)
In my more than ten years of coaching men, virtually every one of them seek my help in learning to conquer approach anxiety. You should see what happens over and over again at the beginning of every one of my men’s bootcamps. (more…)
I got a message from a woman tonight who told me, “I just wish I could be able to tell from a guy’s online profile whether or not we’ll have chemistry. There must be a simple way to be able to read a profile and know if we’re going to get along?”
Let me tell you something: profiles lie. People write the most ridiculous things in their profiles – I think of online profiles as Fantasyland half of the time.
It’s like an advertisement for a new weight loss pill: “lose 300 pounds in two minutes!” In their online profiles, everybody seems to write things that express who they want to be and not who they really are. (more…)
So, you’re dating a woman now whose only sexual experiences have been with men that are pump and dumpers. For those of you who don’t know what a pump and dumper is: it’s what I call ‘minutemen.’
Not the minutemen from the Revolutionary War.. They get in, they thrust their hips, they pump a few times, and then they dump all their little men: all their little sea-men to swim all over the place. (more…)
In order to become more observant, your mindset needs to be this: everything you see you need to look at with a child-like curiosity. Look at everything like you’ve never seen it before.
The way you need to live life is to walk through a neighborhood every single day like you’ve never been there before. Every day you walk through that neighborhood, notice new things. Notice new buildings. Notice the color of the sky. Notice the new trees in springtime. Notice the new buds coming up. Notice everything you can possibly notice.
What happens is that this is tuning you to your environment. You can even do this on your way to work. If you walk to work, you can do this then. You can notice the cars, notice the way people walk, notice the way people are dressed. What happens is that you start training your mind.
What comes next is going into stores: let’s say you go into a Starbucks and you see someone you are attracted to. Have that same child-like curiosity. There’s someone standing next to you that you’re attracted to and you want to talk to them. You can look at the big menu board up there, the caramel machi-frattos and all that other junk, and you stand there and it’s called ‘throwing words to the wind.’ You project your voice so that the other person can hear it.
You never want to speak low or softly; you want to project your voice. When you project your voice, you can basically look up, throw those words out, and say, “god I was wondering, what’s good here?”
Immediately the person standing next to you will answer – everybody likes to pretend that they know it all. So she’ll answer, and there’s a conversation starter for you.
Everywhere you go, you can use the “I am wondering” or “I’m curious” method of reading people.
Let’s say you’re at a gas station, and you’re pumping gas into your car. Someone is standing next to you, and they’ve got this great Audi. “I’m curious, do you like your car? I was thinking of maybe getting one of those one day.” Whether or not you just bought your car or you didn’t – it doesn’t matter, you can still say that.
So be curious about everything. If you go to the Apple store – which is a place that a lot of people go – you’re looking at the iPods. You pick up the 70 GB iPod and say, “god, I’m wondering: do you think anybody ever fills up this thing with music?” The person will answer, “well, yeah, I have all this music…”
The most important thing you need to do is to look at everything in the world just like a child. You have the wonderment of a child, and you look at the world as if it was the first time you’ve ever been there.
Become and embrace that inner child.
Todays video is all about how to embrace who you are. How to love yourself and your insecurities.
You will learn all about my insecurity and how i deal with it!
It’s Summer – Time to Get Creative On Your Dates!
By David Wygant
So with the weatherall toasty hot, it’s time for you to change your whole attitude on where to go and what to do on a date. Forget about the old standbys of dinner, drinks or a movie. They’re boring . . . and we also need to save those things for those cold winter months when we’re stuck with planning indoor-type dates.
It’s time to think summer dates, so let me get you started with some suggestions. These are not only going to be fun and different, but they will give both of you lots to talk about while you’re doing them. Here are 8 great summer date ideas to try:
1. Take A Cooking Class Together. Cooking is fun. Not only that, but doing things together – like chopping the vegetables or playing with the meat – can be a very sensual experience. This is a great way to share something with someone . . . whether your joint culinary effort results in something edible or not. Doing something fun like this on a date creates lasting memories, and this is definitely the kind of date you can joke about with each other for a long time.
2. Take A Trip To Target. Another date that I like I call “The Target Date.” What I like to do is ask a woman to go out for a drink, but then I tell her that I need to run an errand and pick something up at Target before we go. Most people enjoy going to Target – it’s a lot of fun to roam around there. When we get to Target, I’ll grab my basket and say “You know what? Let’s play a fun game. I feel really generous today, and I’m willing to buy you anything you want in the store that costs $1.29. But here’s the catch. It has to cost exactly $1.29. You can’t have three extra cents if it costs $1.32 and you can’t cheat yourself out of three cents by picking something that costs $1.26.” Then what you do is conduct your own scavenger hunt inside Target. You’ll see her looking around and start filling her basket with things that cost $1.29 while she debates which thing she wants. What happens here is you create a fun and very interactive date. Not only that, but you will create memories that will last a long time because it’s different.
3. Check Out Your Local Farmers Market. A date I love to do when when the weather starts getting warm is to ask a woman to go do some food sampling at a Farmers Market. You walk around together, check out all the different stands, and start sampling the food. You can sample some of the wine there together. Start sampling different kinds of vegetables. Sample the fruit and decide which one is each other’s favorite. It’s fun. It’s an active date. It’s also different and something you don’t do very often.
4. Cruise For Barbecues. Another fun date I like is to drive around your neighborhood on a Saturday afternoon or early evening, and start sniffing for barbecues. Your goal: to crash a barbecue. Find one where you see a bunch of cars parked near the house. Then you both walk around together to the backyard, and see which of you is exposed first as the “barbecue crasher.” It’s a lot of fun. On one date where I did this, we both made up stories about how we knew “the cousins.” We were both eventually found out, but the funny thing was that people really didn’t care. A lot of people at barbecues are strangers anyway that were invited by a guest. On another barbecue-crashing date, I actually didn’t get caught the entire night until the very end when the host thanked me for coming then looked at me and said “. . . but who are you??”
5. Have A Different Kind Of Picnic. Everybody does a picnic in the park. Here is a great twist on this old favorite. Tell your date that you are going to go have a picnic. When you get in the car, however, just take a quick ten minute drive around the block and park back at your place. Then go up on the roof. When they say “But I thought we were going to have a picnic,” you say “We are . . . we’re going to have a picnic on the roof.” Hopefully your house or your building has roof that’s high enough that you’ll have a great view of your city. Doing this will be different and unique. Instead of being in the middle of a park with kids running around and having to search the park for “that perfect spot,” do something close to home and head to the roof! This is a new way of rediscovering where you live and seeing things from a completely different perspective.
6. Relive Your Childhood. A really fun idea is to bring your date into a “kid moment.” Ask them “What is one of your favorite things you used to do when you were a kid?” If, for example, the person says they used to love to draw. Tell them “I don’t care how well you draw, I know you like to doodle so we’re going on a field trip.” There’s a lot of fun little stores nowadays (I think one of them is called “Color Me Mine”) where you can take your choice of pottery and paint it as many colors as you want. Then you can come back a week later after they’ve “cooked” it for you. Guess what? This ensures a second date because you both have to go back there to pick up your little art pieces. Then you can compare how your pieces turned out. How much fun would it be to share a kiddy moment with your potential significant other?
7. Be A Photographer. Try going on a date walking around your city like tourists – except don’t do the “tourist thing” and pretend you’re visiting. Instead, do it like you are a photographer and a model. One of you can be the photographer and the other can be the model. You can then switch roles, or even split the roles if you want. Have you each choose five spots you think would be fun to take a picture of the other. Then run all around the city just like a model and a photographer looking for the next best spot. You’ll be surprised at how fun it is. Not only do you get to explore new areas of the city, but it will really push you to be super spontaneous . . . and nothing is more fun than when you’re each trying to figure thing out, trying new things and trying to come up with things on the spot. The fact that nothing is planned is what makes a date like this exciting.
8. Arrange A Scavenger Hunt. This date brings in the spontaneity ingredient I talked about above. So, go out and explore your city except instead of taking pictures you make it a scavenger hunt. This is a great idea in particular if you are the man making the plans. It’s intriguing. First tell her to dress a certain way and to meet you at a certain place. For instance, you could call her or send her a text message saying “Hey, meet me at 3:30 pm at the park wearing sneakers.” Once she gets there, you can leave a little gift or note for her and then tell her where to go or what to do next. By the time she comes to see you, she’s going to be happy because you’ve led her to multiple experiences all in one date. This is a great way to use imagination and engage her desire to be playful with you. Trust me, she’ll love the fact that you’ve been so creative (because likely no one else has done that for her!).
The good thing about non-traditional dates like these is that it gives you the opportunity to engage your senses. It could be your sense of smell, your sense of hearing or your sense of taste. It’s bringing those into a date that makes a date fun and memorable.
Also, the more senses you can bring into your date is more opportunities where you can develop a connection with your date (whether emotionally, physically or sensually). To the guys, remember that by stimulating a woman’s senses you are also stimulating her mind. This will make a woman more attracted to you just by being around you.
These are all fantastic ideas for dates because, don’t forget, more than anything else a date is supposed to be fun! A date is not meant to consist of just sitting across from each other at a dinner table exchanging resumes, watching each other chew, and making decisions about each other.
Activity dates are always a lot more fun, a lot less pressure-filled and something that I always recommend. So try out these ideas, or get creative and think of some great creative dates to enjoy this summer!
Now I know I missed some good ones so please share some of your favorites!
