I used to be the guy who would go out and get validated by sleeping with women. I used to be the guy who would go out with a bunch of guys every Friday night to cruise bars, try to meet hot women, and try to get as many women’s phone numbers as possible.

I used to be that guy trying to do all that stuff — going from bar to bar and place to place — looking for the best night I could possibly have. I used to be that guy who would actually go home with girls to whom I wasn’t even all that attracted. I mean, they might be okay or kind of a cool girl . . . but they weren’t who I wanted.

The women I really wanted always had left the bar two hours before, but my ego needed validation so I’d be with women I didn’t really want just to be “that guy” who could get women to all my friends. I had to prove to them that I was the guy who could pick up women.

My ego needed that validation. I used to be that guy. I remember being that guy in my 20s.  

I recently had a great coaching session with a guy in his 20s, and we were talking about this very subject. As we were talking and reminiscing, I found myself being amazed thinking about how many women I would have actually connected with if I knew then what I know now.

I would have connected with women on much deeper levels and would have had much better connections with them. I would have met women I wanted to meet, instead of allowing my ego to dictate with which women I’d have sex or ask out on a date.

Back then it didn’t matter to me about the kind of connections I was having as long as my ego was getting validated. As long as I got validated by women, I was able to connect and hook up with women.

A lot of guys are like that. I used to be like that. I used to be that guy. That’s why I totally understand what all you guys are going through and what you really want.

You don’t need to have constant validation, because truly connecting with women is one of the most unbelievable and amazing things you can do. A lot of guys don’t understand that until they get older.

What is so great about coaching you guys and really getting inside your mindset is that I understand where you want to be. I’m so jealous and wish I could be in this mindset I’m teaching you when I was younger, although it’s so great to be able to help you and see all of you get there now.

I used to be you. Now I can help you become the most powerful version of you.

What’s up with all these men who keep getting busted because they can’t keep their dick away from the yum-yum? It’s amazing.

Look at all the high-powered men from Eliot Spitzer to Bill Clinton, and even back as far as Ted Kennedy and Chappaquiddick. Really, what’s up with men and their endless pursuit of the blow job or the new indecent woman?

The downfall of a man is always when their hand gets caught in the yum-yum cookie jar. Just look at Eliot Spitzer. He went from being New York’s Governor to being a scumbag who will always be remembered as the guy who was a customer in a busted prostitution ring.

I mean, men need to understand something: You are special and there are PLENTY of women to meet. With the right amount of confidence, you can go out and get any woman you want . . . and you can find some really cool ones too.

The problem with a lot of these high-powered men is that they’re addicted to the rush. They’re addicted to business. They’re addicted to lifestyle. They’re addicted to money. Women are just another commodity to them, so they use women and don’t respect women.

So a lot of these guys have a lover whom they use. It’s no different from anyone else on their payroll. What these men do is use women for their own sexual favors.

The problem in this scenario is often times the women are using them too. This is where it starts to get ugly, because there’s nothing worse than having a worthless whore. So all these men who go out there in the pursuit of having their dick sucked basically have their careers thrown away as well.

Throughout history, the downfall of some very powerful men has been their choice in women. They had a wife and kids, got bored, sought a lover . . . and found someone who actually could play the “commodities” game smarter than they could.

Living in Los Angeles has allowed me to see all sorts of women. Look at the recent TV shows, “The Millionaire Matchmaker.” Good show . . . and a lot of fun to watch.

If you saw and remember the last episode, the guys were feasting over the women who were just hot instead of picking the really amazing women. Look at the women these guys chose. One of them was, according to tmz.com, an ex nude model, and the other one was actually an escort that you can get for $300 an hour. The rest of the women in the room were intelligent and interesting, but maybe not as hot as these other two.

No matter what, men will always go for eye candy. Similarly, these powerful men (male “commodities brokers”) think that because they’ve made money, that they have a right to and deserve the hottest piece of ass . . . exactly like they think they have a right to and deserve the hottest car, best plasma TV and the coolest phone. It’s no different to them.

Then he started listing some of the reasons why things aren’t working for him in his dating life. What every one of his “reasons” had in common, were that they were all excuses.

Worse yet, in his mind he perceives each of these to be unchangeable facts of life instead seeing them for what they really are: excuses he’s created so he doesn’t have to face his dating difficulties. So many people make these kind of excuses in order to feel justified in not putting themselves “out there” in the dating world, or to avoid having to face that they need to work on their confidence or conversation skills.

In this article, I am going to go through five of the biggest and most common excuses people make. All five of these excuses have one thing in common: They are all manifested inside your mind so you can justify not having to try, and to allow you to feel better about your unsatisfying dating life.

What all of you excuse-makers need to realize is that an amazing dating life is not just going to magically happen to you. Just with anything else you want to achieve in life, you’ve got to put work and effort into meeting people. Let me assure you that your doorbell is not going to ring one day and when you open the door your perfect mate will be standing there with a bottle of wine and takeout saying “I’ve been driving around the neighborhood for the last 15 years looking for your house and now I’ve finally found you!”

Here are five of the biggest and most common excuses people make about their dating lives, along with proactive ways to overcome those excuses so you will never allow yourself to buy into them again.

1. I Am A Victim Of Geography: I hear it every day from clients and readers, “David, there are no good men (or women) to meet where I live – and everyone I hang out with agrees with me.” Let me tell you, I hear this “and everyone I know agrees with me” validation for people’s excuses more than anything else. The old saying that ‘misery loves company’ has never been more apropos. People love to complain, and love even more to find others who will agree with their complaints. You need to go out there with a better attitude. The fact is that where you live has nothing to do with you remaining single. It’s your mindset and your belief system that are the problem, because there are great people to meet everywhere. I’ve worked with people all over the world and no matter where my clients reside I have always been able to show them how to meet great people where they live. It’s your mindset that is dictating your ability to meet someone where you live. If you truly believe that there is nobody great to meet where you live, there you’re 100% right and you will not find anyone great to meet where you live. So you need to develop a better attitude.

2. I Attract All The Wrong People: Another excuse I constantly hear from people is “David, the only people I seem to attract are the wrong people, and I can’t seem to do anything about it.” The truth is that you have the power to do something about it. The reason why you’re attracting the wrong people comes down to the way you go out there and meet people. Look at your life a little more deeply. Are you going to same places over and over again and always meeting the same type of people? Well that could be one of the reasons. Are you not making yourself available so it’s too much of a challenge for people to meet you? That could be another reason. When you go out on dates, do you tend to talk more about negative things than positive things? This can also bring the wrong people into your life. The list of questions like these can go on and on, but what’s important is that you stop thinking about the people that you are meeting and start thinking about how you’re meeting them. Start thinking about how you can change your life. In order to meet different people than you’ve been meeting, you need to change your life immediately.

3. I Don’t Have Time: If you don’t have time to meet someone, then you’re not going to meet someone. If you truly want to meet someone, you need to make time to do it. It’s really that simple. As I mentioned above, your perfect person is not just going to show up on your doorstep one day. You need to be willing to put some effort into meeting people. In fact, you need to put time into it every day if you want that to actually happen. This is something I tell all my clients all the time. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need. Try setting goals for yourself if that helps you. Tell yourself “I’m going to talk to four new people today” or something like that. Whatever your goal is, though, you need to make yourself reach it every day. People aren’t just going to start coming over and approaching you. You’ve got to make it happen. You’ve got to make the time. If you’re not willing to make the time to meet someone, then you’re right when you say you will not meet someone. I know you’re busy. We’re all busy. Just remember that this is YOUR life, and only you can make your life happen for you.

4. I Can’t Meet Anyone Until … : Some people’s excuses, while phrased less negatively than others, are just as bad in terms of preventing them from facing their dating issues. My favorite one of these is the “as soon as” person. These people are everywhere. You’ve heard them, and I certainly have heard them. “David, as soon as I lose weight I’ll go out and talk to people.” There are a million other phrases that could be filled in after the “as soon as” part of that sentence: as soon as I get back in the gym … as soon as I finish this big project at work … as soon as I go on this new diet … as soon as my kids get older … I could go on and on for days with examples, but you get the idea. When you start using “as soon as” excuses, you become the person who truly believes that life is going to change the second you accomplish other things. You’ve got to start doing this now, because life is all about being in the moment and living in the now. You need to totally get rid of the mindset that you will somehow be magically ready to meet someone “as soon as” you accomplish some other thing. Life is not about scheduling things like this and putting them on a timetable. Once again this all about your attitude and mindset. You’ve got to be open to meeting someone all the time.

5. Only Losers Do Online Dating: I hear many people who have never tried online dating tell me “I don’t want to do online dating. Online dating is for losers.” This is a ridiculous statement. There are millions upon millions of people dating online. A client of mine once said to me “David, I don’t want to put my picture on my online dating profile because someone I know might see it and then they’ll know I’m doing online dating.” Let’s put aside the fact that if someone sees your online profile, it likely means they themselves are doing online dating. Here again, there is an attitude problem at work. You need to change the way you see things. If someone has seen you online, then if they see you in real life they can walk over to you and say “Did I see you on Yahoo! Personals the other day? I didn’t know you were single.” You’ve got to tell people you’re single and, more importantly, you need to stop feeling like there is something wrong with being single. Going online is making an announcement to the world that “Yes, I’m single, I’m open and I want to meet someone.” You can’t just stay in your house and do absolutely nothing. While online dating may not be for everyone, you need to stay open and take action to improve your dating life.

In order to meet great people, you’ve got to decide to be proactive and do all these things. So get rid of the excuses, get rid of the fears, and start meeting great people.

If you have another excuse that I haven’t mentioned here, email it to me because I want to hear it. That way, the next time I write an article about excuses I can be sure to address it.

David: So what you’re worried about is not the opener, right? You’ve opened a woman up, but you’re worried about creating that attraction throughout the conversation, right?

Client: Yeah, that, and having something to say immediately after opening her, especially if she’s not giving me a lot to go off of.

David: Okay. So she’s not giving you a lot to go off of. A lot of women do this. But if you’ve opened her in the right way – based on an observation, based on what she was already thinking – you’re getting some type of answer back from her.

So let’s say you walk over to a group of women sitting there at a table. You say, “Hey, that food looks really good! What is that exactly?” One of them might respond, “It’s the special.” You say, “What is the special?” Then she tells you about it.

You can go back to her table 20 minutes later and say, “Oh man, I ordered that special, and it’s just not as good as you said it was!” You can return and follow the conversation. You don’t have to worry about coming up with something new every time.

You can give her 15 to 30 good seconds to think about it, and then remember what she said and come back to her about it. Come back at her with the things that you talked about with her previously.

Carry the conversation. Pay attention to what is going on. That is really the only way to do that. Otherwise, you don’t keep the conversation flowing or moving.

So really gather that information. Pretend that you’re an investigator. You’re like a CSI – it’s a crime scene. You’re this great investigator, and you’re trying to figure out exactly what this person is all about.

What are you learning about this person from the very first time? What did you learn?

And then when you go back to talk to them again, start the conversation based on what you’ve already learned. You’re just uncovering a mystery – she’s a mystery.

If you pay attention to what she is saying the first time you talk to her, then you will have plenty of things to talk about the next time you approach her.

Let’s say you’re talking to a girl in a coffee shop and she says, “You know, I love Italian coffee. It’s my favorite thing ever!” So then five minutes later you can talk to her again while she’s sipping her coffee and ask her, “So how did you end up falling in love with Italian coffee? Have you been to Italy?”

She might respond, “Oh my god, I went to Italy, it’s my favorite!” You ask, “what’s so great about Italy?” and then she’ll tell you. She’ll tell you how much she loves Rome – the history, the culture, blah blah blah… so the next time you talk to her you can say, “Man, you have to tell me more about Rome. I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard that the Coliseum is phenomenal. What was your favorite thing?”

So do you see how that happens? You’re moving that conversation forward. You’re remembering things that she talked about previously and then moving the conversation forward. You’re taking that conversation somewhere and turning it into something instead of this blasé chat that you have to start fresh every time.

It’s about paying attention to the details and being a really good investigator. The more you investigate, the easier it will be.

Client: And how do you avoid being one of those fucking guys who are hammering a girl with endless questions?

David: The most important difference is that you’re actually listening to her answers and sharing yourself with her at the same time.

When she tells you how much she loves Italy, you’re saying, “Oh my god, I love Italy too! I went to Italy one summer a few years ago and the food was amazing! What was your favorite thing that you ate there?” She answers, “Oh, I had the best pizza at this restaurant in Positano.”

You respond, “Oh my god, I was never in Positano, but I had this great pizza in….” and you share a story with her. You go into storytelling mode and share with her your experience there. This is how you avoid being Larry King and peppering her with questions.

You’re becoming an investigator, but you’re also sharing your own stories and bonding with her through it.

So that is how you do it. It’s a conversation. Think about having a conversation with your friends. If you speak to women as you speak to your friends, you’ll be fine.

All we’re really doing is trying to escalate attraction with everyone we connect with. The real reason we befriend somebody is because we connect with them and we show interest in each other’s lives.

So you’re really letting your true personality come out in this way.

When you’re in this situation, you get frustrated. As the conversation progresses and gets more and more heated, you start to panic. You feel the need to somehow swing the conversation in your direction.

So you either change the topic – which is a mistake, because you just needlessly killed a great conversation – or you feel driven to say something totally stupid.

Here’s what I tell guys who find themselves in that situation: it’s a great time to shut up and learn.

Life repeats itself nonstop. Twenty days later you may find yourself in that same conversation again. This time, you’ll know what to say. You’ll be able to add your opinion and provide interesting facts. Remember, knowledge is power.

When I’m in a situation where I don’t know what is going on, I shut up. I allow myself to listen and learn. I don’t try to add in clever comments just to stay in the game.

To stay in the conversation, I do look at the person speaking and show my interest in what they are saying. I direct my body language to the speaker, keep my eyes open and stay engaged. I’m enjoying the conversation; I’m having fun (even if I can’t contribute to the topic.)

The most important thing is to drop your ego. Your ego is what makes you think, how can I get this conversation in my direction? In reality, often that strong, silent type wins!

And twenty minutes later, you can pull the woman in the conversation aside and say to her, “That was really fascinating. I had no idea about the depth of the economic shakedown,” or whatever it might be. “I had no clue. Did you know all of that stuff? Are you passionate about that stuff?” In this way, you can bring the conversation back into your realm.

You have to learn that knowledge is key. Knowledge is the key to everything you do in life.

It’s all right to be silent. It’s all right to say that you don’t know about a topic. It’s great to listen!

Todays video explores why all men are 18.

We’re always running errands. We’re getting our car washed, we’re getting gas, we’re going to the supermarket to buy groceries, we’re going to the art store to have a picture framed, we’re on our way to the dry cleaners. Whatever it is…we are always running errands.

So, think about this: you’re always running errands, and I’m always running errands, everyone is always running errands – that must be a great place to meet people!

Even better, you have something that you can talk to people about at any time in any place. You’ve probably been running errands at the same places for years.

Look at running errands as something fun to do. Walk into a place and take over. Create a party in the place you are in. It’s no longer about just buying a pair of sneakers – you’re going out to have fun and talk with other people (and find some new kicks!)

Begin to look at things in a different way. Think about where people are. People are where you are! You have to realize this and take advantage of these places. These are the places where things start to become interesting. Take advantage of it!

You guys converse for a few minutes, and then she walks away. And after this, you stop enjoying yourself because all you’re thinking about is “Where is she right now? Is she coming back?”

With all of these thoughts running through your head, you can’t really concentrate on the conversations you’re having with other people. This is where you make the biggest mistake.

You have to understand that the dynamic presence – the power of who you are as a person – will intrigue her. Did you intrigue her enough? If you intrigued her enough, you can just walk away.

A confident man will walk away knowing that the woman will come back. An unconfident man will follow her around and turn her off. The more you follow her around, the more she’ll start to think, “Why is this guy being so needy and following me around?”

So here is what I would do at these parties: I would talk to her for five or six minutes, and then I might tap her on the leg lightly and say, “Hey, look, I just saw a buddy of mine over there that I need to go talk to, I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t miss me too much.”

Later, I’ll come back – even if it’s twenty minutes later. Maybe she’s talking to another guy. I might whisper in her ear, “Oh man, you’ve got to stop flirting with this guy. I know you miss me!” And then I’ll walk away.

I’ll play with her like that, and I’ll keep a theme running. And what will inevitably happen is that she’ll start to try to find you.

During that time, you have to make sure that you’re talking to other people at the party. Talk to everyone, and you’d better make sure that you’re having fun! Show her that you’re enjoying yourself in other conversations.

Don’t look around the room like you’re seeking a ship on the horizon – “Where is she? Where did she go?” You have to stay present in that moment, and let her seek you out.

If you think this was easy wait till you see what is even more obvious in this video.

So you grab your ham sandwich and run out of there as quickly as you possibly can, saying to yourself “I will NEVER do that again. This doesn’t work. The next time I go back there I am just not going to smile anymore.” Is this the best way to deal with rejection? How do you personally deal with rejection? More importantly, are you someone who believes that if you become “good” at dating that you will no longer get rejected?

The truth is that being able to deal with rejection is the key to being successful at going out and meeting people. It’s also not the ultra-significant event so many make it out to be. So here are 5 essential tips on how to handle rejection which you need to embrace if you are going to have a full and successful dating life:

1. Change Your Expectations. One of the first and most important things you need to understand is that no matter what you do, not everybody is going to respond positively to you. Not everyone you smile at will smile back at you. Not everyone you say hello to is going to say hello back to you. Not everyone you make any sort of gesture to is going to respond to you positively (and in some cases won’t respond to you at all). This happens, and it will always happen at one time or another. You need to stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time. What you have to realize is that just because somebody did not smile back at you, does not mean that you’re not an attractive person or that you made a mistake by smiling at people. The only thing it means is that it did not work with that ONE person.

2. Life Is All About Rejection. Think about everything that you do in life. Everything in life has rejection involved in it. If you’re a sales person who makes ten sales calls, you may only get one or two of those people to say yes. In baseball, a player whose batting average is around 300 will likely end up in the Hall of Fame. In football, if a quarterback can complete 55% of his passes then he is doing pretty well. You get the idea. If you go to a store to buy a pair of jeans, you may have to try on five pairs before you find the perfect pair. Everything in life is about percentages. In any area of your life other than your dating life, you wouldn’t just quit simply because you experienced some rejection. Think if quit looking for work after your very first interview didn’t result you getting hired. That would, of course, be ridiculous. So remember that you also need to keep going in your dating life when you’re rejected, because you want to keep increasing your odds of success in that area of your life.

3. Focus On Increasing Your Odds: When you feel like you are getting more than your fair share of rejections, instead of focusing on those rejections you need to focus on increasing your odds of success. The fact is that by playing the percentages as I mentioned above, that you WILL be successful. The reason is that every time you take action – every time you smile, say hello or walk over and initiate a conversation – you get better at it. If you’re going to go out there and only talk to one person a day, and that’s it, then your chances of success are not going to be great. If you are this person, you need to increase your odds every single day and in everything you’re doing. You need to understand that if you approach someone and get rejected, it’s not a reflection on you. It doesn’t mean you did it wrong or shouldn’t have done it at all. It in fact could mean a million different things. Maybe the person was having a bad day. Maybe they have just lost every cent they have in the stock market. You’ll never know . . . and it doesn’t matter.

4. Keep Things In Perspective: I hear some version of this from clients of mine all the time: “David, what if I approach somebody, get rejected, and someone sees me? I’ll never be able to go in that store again (or that gym, that donut store, that Starbucks or wherever) and I’ll have to drive to the next town to do all my shopping!” You need to get a little perspective here. Let me tell you something – you’re not front page news! When you’re rejected, you need to just get over it. I promise that if you’re rejected by the deli counter at your grocery store, that the next day you will not see on Yahoo’s homepage or the front page of your local paper this headline “John Smith of Memphis, Tennessee was seen yesterday getting rejected at the deli counter of the local Whole Foods market … details on pg. 6 …” No one is talking about you. People are concerned about themselves and what is going on in their own lives, just as you are focused on what’s going on in yours. So the fact that you get rejected in front of other people at the market, at the gym, or anywhere else is not a big deal to anyone else but you. You need to keep this in it’s proper perspective: No one is going to be talking or thinking about you getting rejected except you.

5. Don’t Overreact: The other thing I most commonly hear from clients who have been rejected is some version of this: “I’m NEVER going to talk to that person ever again now that I was rejected by them.” This reaction is not only a total overreaction, but it is also absolutely the wrong thing to do. So you tried to talk (or smile or look) at someone, and they didn’t respond. As I mentioned above, there are a million possible reasons why that person did not respond to you. Maybe that person was simply having a bad day. Think about how many times you have been having a bad day and someone smiles at you, but you are just not in the mood to interact with others. So you have to realize that just like you have days when you just aren’t in the mood to talk to anyone, so might that person who didn’t respond to your hello at the deli counter. It doesn’t necessarily mean that person wouldn’t want to talk to you another time. If I smile at a woman and she doesn’t respond, I don’t play hide-and-go-seek the next time I see her. What I do is be equally friendly to her the next time I see her, because you never know what will happen that second time. You never know how someone will respond the second time. You never know what’s in their head or what they’re feeling. It’s a different day. Put the last time behind you.

These are some ways to help you get over rejection. You have to realize that in order to get good at interacting with the opposite sex, you are going to get rejected. In fact, you WANT to get rejected every single day, because if you’re not then it means that you’re not trying.

So ask yourselves this: Did you get rejected today, and how can you go out tomorrow and make it an even better day than today? Learn to not only handle, but indeed to embrace, rejection and you, too, will meet great new people and have an amazing social life.

The guy always goes over there with his training wheels on – and not even decent training wheels, but the ones that are squeaky and wobbly. So he goes over and tries his ridiculous line on her, and it obviously doesn’t work.

The second he leaves, you can go over there and say, “okay, I’ve got to know: what the fuck did that guy say to you? I watched him and his friends over there, checking you out and elbowing each other to decide who was going to come over and talk to you. So, just for the sake of social research, I’ve got to know what he said to you – I bet you money he picked it out of some book, right?”

You can play the odds at that point, and say, “did he say, ‘I’m thinking of a number between one and ten,’ or did he ask you, ‘who lies more, men or women?’ Or was he REALLY creative and said, ‘my friend got caught by his girlfriend the other night kissing someone else, would you consider that cheating?’”

Client: Or, “did he say, ‘I have to get back to my friends, I just need your opinion on something…”

But you really could go up there and be curious about something. For example, you could approach a girl wearing a scarf and ask her if it’s okay for a guy to wear scarves. I see all these guys wearing scarves all of the time, and I just don’t know if I could pull it off. I’d kind of feel weird being a guy wearing a scarf! You could just ask for her opinion, if you’re genuinely curious. Then you could see where it goes from there.

David: But you should go even deeper with that and tell a story. Say, “look, I just moved here from Cali, so I’m already wearing some weird shit to begin with. I’ve been hanging out with my buddies today and realizing how crazily I dress, like wearing flip-flops in October…” – you can be self-deprecating with your humor.

And then you can say, “but I have to get this scarf thing down because the other night it was like 40 degrees out and I was thinking about how cold my neck was here!” Boom – she’s laughing, and it shows that you are real and genuine.

It’s an entirely different thing. Instead of these ridiculously manufactured conversation-starters that don’t actually work, this is real.

It’s interesting, because a lot of men – and I’m talking about MEN, I’m not talking about boys. As little boys, we used to look at girls and we used to rate them on a number system.

I remember being like 11 years old, and we’d look at women – well, at that time, girls – and go, “man, she’s cute, what would you rate her?” “Oh, she’s like a 6.8,” or “she’s like a 7.5.”

The problem is that any man over the age of, really, 22 should no longer be rating women on a number scale. The number system is just really ridiculous. Why are you rating a woman on a number? Really, it’s arbitrary anyway, because my 10 could be your 3. Your 3 could be my 7, your 6 could be my 6.18, and your 2.87 could be my 3.14 – wait, isn’t that Pi?

Anyway, I really think it’s time that men stop rating women on the number scale, and started evaluating women on a whole new system.

I am going to explain this whole new system. This new system is so revolutionary, guys, that women are not going to look at you as man-boys anymore. Women hear you say that stuff. I’ve seen guys out in a bar, and they look at a woman and they…

Come on man, wake up! It’s unbelievable. We’re doing this blog as we drive, and if any of you have not driven in Los Angeles, the horn in LA is called the ‘wake the fuck up’ device. People love to just sit at that light. There’s not much to do at a light. You have two things to do: you stop and you stare at the light, and when it turns green, you go.

But in LA, it’s amazing how many times the light turns green, and they just sit there. Being a New Yorker, I’m going to use the horn, because I love that horn. And in Los Angeles, by the way, too, the directional blinker is optional equipment, because no one ever signals here. So you can save a thousand bucks off your car.

But let’s get back to that number system. So I was in a bar one night, and these guys were standing there and rating women, and women were hearing them. “Oh man, she’s a 6.” And that’s really classless. You’re 40 years old, and you’re rating women on a scale from one to ten? You sound like an immature child!

So how would you like a covert system where you actually can go and meet a woman, and afterwards you can say words that women will hear over and over again, but will have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about? Hell, you can rate these women right in front of their faces and they’ll have no idea what you are talking about!

It’s time to grow up, and it’s time to use the new system of rating people. I’m not talking about the Nielsen ratings, I’m not talking about the Arbitron ratings for radio; I’m talking about the new system here that Khiem is so proud of that he’s thinking of patenting it.

And he hasn’t even thought it up – it isn’t even his. But he’s going to share something with you guys that you need to learn. It’s called, for you technical guys, YMN.

Khiem: Thank you, David. You’re right, you shouldn’t rate women on a scale, because truthfully, at what number is a woman attractive to you? A 6? Above a 5? How about you simplify it to yes, no, and maybe.

Let’s be honest: would you want her? Yes or no. And if you’re not sure, then maybe. Maybe can be a lot of things. Maybe could be if she has a good personality, and you just might want to do her. But if she’s really bad, then she falls quickly into the no category.

Let’s be honest here. You’re a man, and you meet a woman. We’ll put you one-on-one in a room, and assuming that there are no distractions, how much do you desire her?

It’s so much simpler. And even when you wink at each other in the bar or wherever you are, she’s like, yeah – okay, I don’t even know what you mean, David, I can see it in your eyes!

David: It’s a yes or a no!

Khiem: It’s a yes or a no, there’s no ifs ands or buts about it. It’s just yes or no. Once in a while, you’ll get the occasional maybe, and that’s why you go up and talk to her. When you’re not sure, go find out! Go find out and be curious about her.

And then you can come home and say, “you know guys, I saw a yes girl,” or “no way, I saw a no girl.” And it’s so much easier.

It doesn’t matter what your guys tell you – it’s all up to you. Either you like her or you don’t.

David: Not only that, but think about this: you might run into a woman in the street, and you might see her walking to Whole Foods, and she might actually work in Whole Foods, or whatever, and she’s a maybe. You’re not quite sure about her yet. Guess what? You met a maybe! That means you can go back in there and meet her again. She might turn into a yes; she might turn into a no.

I’ve had maybes that have turned into yeses, and I’ve had maybes that have turned into nos. Hell, I’ve had some maybes that have turned into long-term relationships! I wasn’t quite sure about her the very first time I met her. I wasn’t quite sure about her personality, and who she was. And I learned more about her the second time around.

So expand your horizons! Become a yes-no-maybe man. Lay off the number system. Numbers are great – on a calendar. Numbers are great on a phone. Let’s look at my car right now – it is 68°. Does that mean that the women around us are all 6.8s?

So let’s lay off the number system, guys, and let’s go to yes, no, and maybe. It’s going to make you sound a hell of a lot more mature in life. Really, the fact of the matter is that these numbers are just validating you anyway. Every guy wants to be with that “perfect 10.”

Really, the perfect 10 comes from inside out. And the perfect 10 is very different for each guy. You don’t need to tell your friends that she’s a 10, you don’t need to high-five, your friends don’t need to validate you; you need to validate yourself!

Go after what you want with a vengeance. If it’s a yes, go after her and ask her out! If it’s a no, then be nice to her because she may lead you to a bunch of yeses.

But, once again, be open to everything.

Alright, that’s it. I’m sitting at a green light right now, and I’m the lead car. In Los Angeles, it’s really important to be the lead car. If you’re the lead car, you don’t have to use the ‘wake the fuck up’ device. If you’re the lead car, the only you have to do is make sure that the person next to you doesn’t weave into your lane – they tend to be lane weavers here too.

Do you have lane weavers in your town?