Today for those of you have have not read or heard about Randy Pausch he passed away today.

He wrote an amazing book called The Last Lecture…all of you need to read it.

So lets celebrate life today. Todays blog and especially todays video goes deep into the meaning of life.

So I’m sitting here with Khiem and Rey, and you’re about to learn a little bit more about Rey right now. It’s the end of July , and for those of you who missed my birthday on Tuesday, July 1st – I’m still waiting for your happy birthday emails.

Not that I really care, anyways, because a birthday to me is just another day.

But do you know what birthdays are really all about? And this is really important: birthdays are a celebration of life. That’s the way that I look at a birthday. It’s not the gifts that you get – even though Rey got me one of the nicest gifts in the world, a black Labrador mug with a nose that’s the pour handle – I’m about to have some tea out of it.

Birthdays to me are just a celebration of life. What did you do in your past year? How did you celebrate life? I tend to reflect a lot on my birthday. I tend to think a lot about a lot of different things. I listen to oldies music from the seventies and remember when I was kid. I remember going to summer camp and hanging out with a bunch of friends.

I just think a lot. I think a lot before my birthday – I think about the people that are in my life and celebrate them. I express gratitude for all of the things that are happening. It’s not about the dinner; it’s not about getting drunk – I wouldn’t touch booze if it were the last thing to drink in the world – I would die of dehydration before I would drink alcohol. I’m not a big drinker at all – some of you probably know just from many of the podcasts and blogs.

Birthdays are for appreciation. I really appreciate the people that are in my life. I appreciate my dog and I appreciate the people that work with me. A lot of you know Khiem who is a super coach (unfortunately I don’t think that there is a Superman t-shirt for that.)

But a lot of you don’t know Rey. I met Rey last December, and if you look on my site, Rey is the young Asian guy with the spikey hair in some of the pictures. So go look at the site, and find him.

The amazing thing about Rey is that four years ago, he didn’t speak any English at all. He came here from Taiwan and bounced around with his mother, and he found his way around here. I really want him to share his story about what it was like coming here – all of the self-development and the work he’s done for himself.

So, Rey, share a little bit of your background with everybody.

Rey: Okay, well, four years ago, I moved to the US and I spent my first year here moving around a lot. I started my first two months in Orange County, and I lived in New Jersey for another two months, and then I lived in Seattle for three months, and finally I moved back to Torrance, California – LA.

At first it was really hard, because I couldn’t even memorize the whole alphabet in order. I didn’t speak the language at all, and it took a long time for me to be able to communicate with other people – to communicate with other people my age, and to connect with people.

At first, I tried to make friends with the other Chinese kids, but then I realized that a lot of them had been in the US for, like, six years, and they still couldn’t speak English. I told myself, if I’m already living in the US, I’m not going to isolate myself. That’s ridiculous. I’m not going to spend six years of my life feeling shitty because I can’t communicate.

So I started hanging out with the white kids. It was tough at first, because I couldn’t understand anything they said. I got it from their body language, hand gestures, and all of that stuff. Kids would make fun of my here and there. They would say, “oh dude, you sound like a faggot when you say that,” and I’d say, “what’s a faggot?” “You’re a faggot!” It was pretty frustrating at first.

I learned that I just had to keep with it, and practice every day. It’s like everything you do in life: keep going with it, practice, and keep looping your mind around it.

Khiem: You know, you’ve actually grown a lot since December, and to me, that’s even more important than the transformation you had earlier. Not so much in terms of picking up girls or dating, but you’ve had so much growth as a person.

How are you different now than you were in December?

Rey: I’m a lot more comfortable around girls. I’ve always been able to make fun of people, or just joke around, but I’m more comfortable now. Another thing about me is that I didn’t hit puberty at all until like a year ago.

Before that, I was dealing with how to learn English, and acclimate, and everything else; all of a sudden I started having feelings for girls. I’d think, oh my god, that’s amazing. Look at this, look at that. Coming across David, I learned that women are just people, and that they have other attractive physical features.

David: And how else did you change? Think about your lifestyle: what about the people you’ve met, and the way you’ve grown, your contacts. Go deeper into your life. You were a scared kid when I met you, and now you’re meeting people who are powerful. How has your life changed in that way, besides what you’re feeling with girls?

Rey: Well, I’ve always read a lot and thought a lot, but my friends and I were just cool surfing buddies who would go to parties together. But nothing was going anywhere, because that was all we would do.

I always wanted to get more out of life and to be the best person I can be. Learning from David has just been amazing; I’ve been able to meet all different sorts of people from places all over the world. With all of these people with different character traits, I can learn something different from each one of them.

I keep in touch with every client of David’s that I’ve met. I’ve become more confident in my own skin and I understand myself better. I don’t blame other people for the things that happen to me. I know that whatever happens, no matter how bad it is, I can use it to teach myself a lesson.

I don’t resist the things that happen to me – of course, when something happens, I get upset and bitch about it for five to ten minutes, but I realize that I still have to move on. No matter what, life moves on – whether you move on with it or not. Time still goes by.

David: Pretty cool, isn’t it? You’re appreciating things now. I remember some key thing that you said when you were asked at a bootcamp, “how has your life changed? Did it change in a day?” And you responded something about being in it for the long haul.

Rey: Yeah. I think so many people come to this and they hope to drastically change their lives over a span of one weekend – the weekend will change your life, but it really comes back to you working on yourself, day after day. You have to put your own personality on the line, question yourself, and progress to the next step.

You have to progress a little bit every day, and before you know it, three to six months will have passed and you’ll be a completely different person.

David: How do you feel now compared to the way you felt in December?

Rey: I feel better. I’m more comfortable about people that I perceive that I’ll have respect for, and people that have a lot going on in their lives. I understand people’s work better – I don’t just think, oh, he’s so lucky, he has all of this, and all of that – I know that everything that people have in their lives is from hard work. If you want it for yourself, it is possible; you just have to work towards it.

David: Yeah, hard work is everything, isn’t it? It’s amazing how so many people want this part of their life to excel, and so quickly. I want you to really listen to Rey. We’ve never put Rey out in a podcast or blog yet, and you can tell he kind of struggled in the beginning – he was self-conscious about talking into a recorder. But if you noticed him in the middle and the end, he started relaxing a lot more.

Life is a really cool journey. Rey is 18 years old, and he’s learning things that 40-year-olds don’t know. He’s learning about patience in life – he really has this quality of patience in him. He had to learn an entire language – and he doesn’t really have much of an accent. You can tell when he speaks slowly that he is thinking his words through, but can you imagine going out there and speaking fluent Chinese after four years? Rey also didn’t want to talk like the other Chinese students. He didn’t want to have an accent or anything.

So, think about it: he has learned an entire language, and he’s been able to flirt – flirting probably doesn’t even translate! If you think about escalating sexual tension and attraction, how do you translate that? He’s learned this stuff from a lot of people: myself, and all of the clients I work with. Rey’s at every single bootcamp, and he’ll continue to be at every bootcamp.

You learn so many things about yourself through this journey. In summation, don’t judge yourself! You can learn something from every single person that you engage.

Today we were out to lunch, and I was on the phone with this woman, and Rey just started chatting up the guy we were sitting next to – and he learned a bunch of things from that guy.

When in doubt, always say who, what, when, where, and why? Those are the important things. I’ll write a blog about that soon.

Todays video goes way beyond meeting and picking up the opposite sex. Lets talk about life and the amazing gift that it is.

I go much deeper into this in my mens and womens mastery series as well.

Enjoy the video its one of my favorites. A little more background….this video was shot last week at my bootcamp when we all sat around at dinner and really broke through barriers and fears!

I recently returned from a great six day trip to Hawaii. It was a trip I really needed to just clear my head, have a great time and relax. I took someone very special whom means the world to me, and someone whom I think is one of the greatest women in the world.

For those of you who know me, you know I’m talking about my ex, Alison, with whom I spent six and a half years.
Alison and I are not together as a couple anymore due to my own issues.

You know, in life nobody is perfect or has it together all the time. In a nutshell, though, when Alison and I were together she really wanted to continue our relationship and to build the foundation for a future together with me.
During the time I was building my business, however, it was really hard to do that.

There’s something about being a man, having a business and making that business exactly how you want it to be. There is something inside a man that really just aches to be ultra-successful and proud of what he does.
It took a long time to build my business because even though you are an expert at what you do, you still have to build your reputation.

You need to work with clients. You have to research. You’ve got to live it, believe in it, and be that business.

Alison and I had a great time together and a great relationship, but I just wasn’t ready to give her what she wanted. I believe there’s a saying that when you love someone, you have to be willing to let them go.

You can’t keep someone when you can’t give them the love in a relationship that they want and deserve. Thus we separated as a couple.
When Alison and I separated, I realized (and I’ve always known since we broke up), that she is an amazing woman and in fact is amazing in every way.

Now I am ready for that type of relationship and I would love to have that type of relationship with Alison, but she is no longer sure if she wants to have that type of relationship with me.
I’m not trying to dump all of my feelings and the details of my personal life on all of you, but I am telling you all of this because there is a very important lesson I want to share. Just because you’re ready for something with someone doesn’t mean the other person is ready for that at the same moment. Timing is everything when it comes to relationships.

So if someone is worth fighting for, you better fight for them every step of the way. It’s a battle out there to find someone with whom you can really connect and whom you really love. Because meeting the right person is so hard, I tell people all the time to stay focused, stay motivated, and to meet as many people they can.

In order to find the right person for you, you must go through a lot of people. You’ve got to work the numbers.

To find someone spectacular you will have to go through a lot of disappointments, a lot of near hits, and a lot of near misses.

Even if you do find a spectacular someone, if you’re not ready for it then it will not work out and you are going to have to do the whole thing again when you are ready.

Part of what I stress all the time with my clients and with all of you is how important it is to work on yourself. Work on your inner confidence. Work on who you are as a man or as a woman. Work on yourself as a person. What do you want out of life? Who do you want to be, and how do you want to be remembered?

Are you passionate about what you do for a living? If not, that’s going to affect you in all other areas of your life. If you are passionate about what you’re doing but you are not fully successful at it yet, then keep at it.

In order to be able to give to someone else, you must first complete this part of your journey. So now I feel complete. I have everything I want: a great business, great people with whom I work, and a fantastic dog who snores next to me every night.

Now I also want that spectacular person, and it would be nice if that person is Alison because finding someone as special as she is isn’t an easy task.
I’ve dated other people this year and last year, but they just didn’t work out because none of them were grounded, stable or as amazing as I always considered Alison to be. No matter who I was seeing, I always had Alison in the back of my mind.
It’s really interesting what you discover as you’re going through life finding yourself. Sometimes you realize that what you had is exactly what you want . . . but you just weren’t ready for it.

So my advice to all of you today in this blog that is so different than almost every other one I’ve written, is to work on yourself. Become that person you can respect, and others will respect and love you back!

In order to really be a powerful man in all ways you need to lead a woman sexually.

Todays podcast talks all about that.

Click here to download…

Have an amazing Friday!

So, last night I was able to go to the Coldplay concert, which was just phenomenal. Yeah, yeah, I know what they said about Coldplay in “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” but I like Coldplay for a few different reasons.

I like Coldplay because they play with such passion, which made their concert last night a really great experience. You know, right in the middle of the show, Chris Martin of Coldplay said ‘Nothing is better than going out, standing there in front of all these people, creating great energy and playing with all of your best friends.’ That is what life is all about!

Life is about enjoying yourself. Life is about experiencing things. Life is about having fun with your friends. Life is not about chasing people you want to come into your life; life is about attracting people into your life.

It was an amazing thing to be in The Forum last night, which is saying a lot. For those of you who are unfamiliar with The Forum in Los Angeles, it is just an absolutely awful and outdated arena. It was cool, though, being there last night with about 20,000 people who were laid back and just having a good time.

No, this blog is not about giving you a wake-up call to buy Coldplay concert tickets (although I certainly would recommend their show). This wake-up call was inspired by the combination of the realizations I experienced at the concert and some other realizations I’ve made in the last few days.

Some things have happened to me in recent days that really rocked my world. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling, enjoying myself a little bit and, of course, working. I was in Santa Fe last weekend and was in Hawaii before that. While I was in Hawaii, the woman who sits for my six year-old English Lab Daphne noticed a lump on her belly. Although the lump was not new, it had been small and had not previously changed in size.

When I returned home, I saw that the lump had indeed gotten bigger so I took Daphne to the vet. The vet looked at it and didn’t want to do anything, but I made her aspirate it anyway. During my Santa Fe trip, the lab report came back which showed that there were mast cells in the cyst that was aspirated.

Now, mast cells in a dog can be either malignant or non-malignant. I actually have been learning all about them over the last several days. Although there seem to be conflicting medical viewpoints on what Daphne’s lab results mean and although I really didn’t think there was anything wrong with her, at this point I thought it would be better to just take the lump out anyway.

I am figuring she will be okay. My fingers are crossed. What all of this makes you realize, though, is that life is very precious.

Life can be taken away from you at any moment. Everything that you love or have ever built – whether it’s relationships, animals or friends – can be lost in an instant. You don’t know what fate has in store for you.

You have no idea what’s going to happen to you on any single day. So why do so many people choose not to live life to the fullest every single day? Why do so many people go through life like they’re in a coma?

It always amazes me how so many of us go through life like we’re here forever and like we have an unlimited amount of time to experience life. We live our lives as if no matter what we do and no matter what happens, we’re going to be here forever . . . but we’re not.

Not only are we not here forever, we could be here a much shorter time than we anticipate. Life is a gift, and it’s a gift that you need to embrace every single day.

I mean, this last week has been really tough for me – I had to go and research (and see pictures of ) this thing called a mast cell tumor, I had to talk to all sorts of people and doctors and vets trying to figure out whether my dog is sick. I wanted to make sure that Daphne gets the best attention, because I really don’t want to lose her.

What I’ve realized over these last days is that everything that is precious to me can be taken away in a second. So with that realization in mind, why don’t you enjoy everything you do to the max? Enjoy life! Enjoy the gift that is your life.

People spend so much time trying to chase members of the opposite sex and worrying about what to say or do when they see someone they want to meet. Just walk up to those people. Stop wasting your time with worry, and start experiencing.

Surrender yourself to the experience. That’s how you will live without regret.

I wrote a blog like this awhile back based on the movie “The Bucket List.” Well in this blog I’m going to talk about making other kinds of lists.

What if you made a list of all the things you are afraid of doing? How about a list of all the things you’ve been wanting to do “someday” but have never done? Why not start doing the things on these lists, because you never know when you’ll no longer be here.

As I’m walking Daphne right now and noticing how happy and content she is just sniffing the warm night air, I realize that this beautiful gift of this English Labrador may not be here forever. Although I am going to do everything in my power to make sure she is, I am also going to make sure that every moment she does have here is amazing. I am going to appreciate every moment I have with her.

It’s time for all of you get out of your comas and start looking at life as the gift that it is. Here’s your wake-up call!

Ok that was a heavy blog so todays video is all about being goofy and having fun!

I recently spent a week in Hawaii, and while I was there I learned how to surf for the very first time. Now I’ve got to tell you that Wygant on water, ice or snow tends to be comical and is a sight to see. If you’ve ever seen me tumble down a mountain or sporting ice skates or roller blades, then you know why.

So when I got to Hawaii and Alison suggested that we go surfing, my first thought was “no way,” but I told her “Sure, whatever, I’ll go with you” because I am a trooper . . . and because my ego wouldn’t allow me not to go. So when we get there, I don’t expect be able to get up at all. Now, I’ve normally never had trouble ‘getting it up’ in life, but in this situation I did not expect to get up.

Our surfing instructor, Ron, was a really cool guy and he began to explain everything. I’ll provide a link to his website for any of you who make it to Hawaii one day. As Ron was talking to us, I was in another world thinking “There’s no way I am going to be able to get up on that surfboard. It’s not going to happen.”

Not only that, but I had to overcome my fear of Bruce, the electronic shark in Jaws . . . and weren’t these the same waters where that 14 year-old surfer girl recently had her arm bitten off by a shark? Look, I’ve had a fear of sharks ever since I saw the movie Jaws. I was 13 years-old when Jaws came out, and that was just one of those growing up movies that impact you a lot.

Meanwhile, Ron continued on the sand to teach us how to surf. He showed us how to get up. He showed us how to get down. He taught us everything we needed to know to go out there in the water and do it.

So I got on my board in the water and was going through waves thinking “Damn, man, I am not going to be able to do this. I’m going to get my ass kicked in surfing.” Then something interesting happened.

I get on a wave, stand on one knee, put one leg up, and all of a sudden I think to myself “I am going to get up on this board!” Then I rode it in just like that. A couple of rides later, I stood up and I took the entire wave from start to finish.

It felt amazing to be able to see the mountains that were all around, to be able to see the beautiful Hawaiian sky, to be able to smell the water, and to be able to see the crystal clear water all around me. I was addicted at that moment.

What does this story of my first surfing adventure have to do with dating – or with why you should date like a surfer? Well, surfing is a lot like dating.

In surfing as in dating, there are a lot of ups and there are a lot of downs. There are some times you catch that perfect wave as your board starts inching into the water, then the next thing you know you’re tumbling all over the place having no idea when you’re going to be able to get back up again or how you’re going to feel.

Surfing is just like dating because every time you get your ass kicked by a wave and tumble in the water, you have got to get right back up on that board and try again. You have got to do that in surfing, because you never know when that next wave is going to come that is going to take you all the way into the shore and make you feel victorious.

You have got to do this in dating, because you never know when the next person you run into in the supermarket or the coffee shop is going to be that person with whom you create magic. It’s amazing that dating (and life) are just like surfing.

I surfed for four days while I was in Hawaii. I had a great time. I went out there and kept trying. On some days I was able to get up more than I wiped out. On some days I was able to surf better than I was on others.

On my very last ride of the trip, I jumped off the board in a weird way and jammed by back. It was as I hobbled my way back onto the plane that I realized that surfing and dating are no different.

In surfing there will be some days you’re going to ride the wave and feel great, while on other days you won’t. In dating there will be some days you’re going to meet some great people and think great things about a possible connection with someone, while on other days you’re going to realize things aren’t going to work out with someone and that you have to start all over again.

What you need to realize is that every day and every wave give you a chance to start anew. When you get on a surfboard, you never think about the previous wave or your last wipeout. All you think about is getting up on that board on THIS wave. You take in the beautiful Hawaiian mountains or focus on the waterfall in the mountains above you. Then all you do is look straight ahead, crouch down, get on that board and ride that wave into shore.

You need to have that same mindset about every date you go on and about every relationship you have. You should never thing about past dates. Don’t think about past disappointments. Treat each date as you would treat a new wave. Every wave is different and gives you an opportunity to start anew. Similarly, everyone you date is different, and you can start anew every single day. That is really amazing when you think about it.

To Ron, I want to say thanks for a wonderful time surfing in Hawaii. You were a great instructor! For anyone who wants to visit my friend Ron in Hawaii, here is his website. http://www.kauaisurflessons.net/index.html Aloha.

For those of you that want to see my surfing skills……enjoy.

Today is my birthday. For those of you who don’t know, July 1st was the day I sprung out of my mother’s belly. The sad thing about this, though, was that it took me eighteen years to get back to that warm feeling all over again.

It’s amazing, because ever since I left my Mom’s belly I’ve thought “Boy, it’s nice in there. I can’t wait to get back in!” I was a poor tortured virgin throughout my entire high school career, and was not allowed back in until the ripe old age of eighteen in college.

This blog, however, is not about losing my virginity. This blog is about my birthday. For those who have not yet sent a present, you know what I like. If, on the other hand, you don’t know what I like then I’d suggest that you use your creativity because at this stage of my life I don’t expect presents from anybody.

I’m not big into birthdays, and I’m not big into presents . . . even though my intern Rey bought me the coolest present in the world: a Labrador Retriever mug that has a snout as the handle. So I was holding onto Daphne at all times when I was drinking my tea.

Anyone who has hung out in my office or in my house knows that I tend to drink a lot of tea. No, I’m not British – I just l don’t like coffee. Plus, it’s herbal tea and I’m a Californian. This blog is also not about tea or thanking Rey for the great present (which I already did).

This blog is about how you should celebrate your birthday. I’m celebrating my birthday by going to Hawaii. When I get on the airplane to Hawaii in a few hours, I am going to enjoy a fantastic birthday dinner. The dinner will be unbelievable (I’m going to bring a box of food from Whole Foods). I may even indulge — I may actually allow the flight attendant to get me a drink of water (as I usually bring my own).

What I will spend most of my time on this flight doing, though, is reflecting about how amazing the past year has been. You see, your birthday is not about getting presents or getting drunk. Your birthday is about celebrating life.

Your birthday is about celebrating everything in your life that’s amazing. It’s about celebrating the past year of your life and seeing how much you’ve grown. It’s about reflecting. It’s about embracing all the friendships you’ve had. It’s about appreciating everything. It’s about spoiling the one person you need to spoil every day – yourself.

So that’s why I’m taking myself to Hawaii for my birthday. I am going to sit on a beautiful beach for the next six days relaxing and reading . . . and I am going to celebrate what an amazing year it’s been. Who knows, I might even try surfing. I will definitely do yoga and eat great food.

I’m going to celebrate what to me has been one of the best years of my life, because getting older means embracing your life every single day. Although I don’t expect presents for my birthday, I am going to think about how many gifts I’ve been given this past year.

I have been gifted this year with so many great clients with whom I’ve gotten to work and with all of you readers of my blog. I have been gifted with all the fantastic people who work for me and with me to help to build up a great business.

So this year on my birthday, I’m embracing all of the great things that have happened to me over the past year. My only birthday wish is that I will continue to make every day better than the last day.