Was 2010 the year of you?

If so, why?

Better yet, if not, why not?

The last podcast of 2010 is all about you… and how you could have, and should have, the best year of your life!

Listen in now, as this could change your life forever.

To Download Today’s Podcast Click Here!

We’ve talked a lot in the blog about the truth — the importance of telling the truth and being honest with all the people in your life. There is one facet of the truth, though, that I think we need to go into more deeply today.

Today we are going to talk about being truthful with yourself. You are the person with whom you need to be the most honest. So, how honest are you with yourself?

Right now, I want you to write this down on a piece of paper: “Where I’m at in my life right now is . . . ” Then I want you to fill in the end of that statement and speak your truth.

Then write down this down: “Where I want to be in my life right now is . . .” Then fill in the end of that statement and speak your truth once again.

Look at what you wrote down. What is preventing you, honestly, from getting to the next level?

Are you one of those people who want to meet more women (or men), but you just can’t do it? You read about it and you talk about it. You go out and you try doing it for maybe ten minutes. Then you wait three weeks before you try doing it again. You’ll never get good doing it that way.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called Outliers: The Story Of Success. In that book, he says that people who are experts at something became an expert by spending many hours doing it over and over again. There are no naturals at anything. Some people find it really easy to do things once they practice, while others need to push themselves harder.

So the question you need to ask yourself is: How honest are you with yourself? Are you someone who is thinking of getting coaching but puts it off and makes excuses that you can do it on your own, but you can’t do it on your own?

How honest are you with yourself about your life right now? You’ll never get where you want to be in your life without being honest with yourself.

If you lack the self-motivation to learn how to meet the opposite sex, seek help. Set up a calendar of things to do every single day that push you. Get honest with yourself, because if you’re not then you will never achieve your goals.

Want to have Me and my coaches on your email “speed dial” answering all your dating questions? CLICK HERE if you are a man or CLICK HERE if you are a woman to find out how.

A lot of guys always look at the surface things they want. They think that if they can just meet a hot girl that everything is going to be great, but that is not the end-all-be-all answer to things.

Remember that even if you get that hot girl, she may have a vision of you (and for the two of you together). She may want more kids than you do. She may want different things than you do.

So you need to have a vision that is crystal clear. The only way to get such a clear vision is to get yourself in front of an empty page and to start writing every single day.

Call it a life journal. It actually doesn’t even have to be written — it could be audio or video as well. It can be yours to watch, yours to watch or yours to which to listen. It doesn’t matter. It just needs to be yours.

Doing this allows you to see your progress and how you have evolved over time. You can go back and read (or listen or watch) where you were two years earlier, and see how immature you were at the time.

Another great thing to do is to find someone older than you after which you want to model yourself. Pick someone who has gone through life already.

I’m not saying to find someone who will tell you what to do (because no one should do this). I’m talking about someone who can tell you that whatever you’re going through is okay.

When you are putting together your life’s vision, be very clear about what you really want. Here is a perfect example of why this is so important.

I just heard about someone who had a vasectomy and married a woman who wanted kids. At first she was okay with that and with them not having kids. Seven years later, however, she was begging him to reverse the vasectomy and it has changed the whole dynamic of the relationship.

So it is critical that you be very clear in knowing what you want. It doesn’t mean that what you want won’t change over time, but you need to be able to write down everything you want as time goes by so you can see your process.

Realize that your thoughts are wonderful thoughts. Your vision is a wonderful vision.

A friend of mine is a workout nut, and his wife was never very into working out. Initially he felt okay with that. As time went on, though, she started gaining more and more weight.

He kept saying that he was okay with that. He would tell me that every time I was with him.

Clearly he really wasn’t okay with it, because he started cheating on her. He started cheating on her because having a wife who was also a workout nut and looked a certain way was extremely important to him, but he wasn’t clear with himself about what he wanted.

I know some women will read this and just think that my friend is a superficial guy. It’s not really about that though. It’s about being clear about what you want and in your vision for your life.

The only way to be clear in your vision is to write and write and write. That’s your first journal entry.

I go through step-by-step the process of how to really discover your clearest vision for what you want in your life, and then how to create a plan to make that vision your reality. CLICK HERE if you are a man or CLICK HERE if you are a woman to see this.

When it comes to asking a woman out on a date, you ask once or maybe twice and that’s it. There are other areas of life, however, where it behooves you to become a pain in the ass.

Let me give you an example. I live in a building that has tandem parking and parking spots that are very close together.

My neighbors are inconsiderate and rude. Whenever they get out of their cars with grocery bags, they do the pinball maneuver in between our cars and scratch the side of my car. This really angers me because I am very respectful of other people’s things.

I would never open my car door and let it hit and mark up a car next to me. I also would never set my keys or my shopping bag on someone else’s car and scratch their paint so they have to spend a couple hundred dollars to color sand their car. That’s just not me.

So I’ve been trying to get the management company to move me into the big garage (which is reserved for people who live in the bigger apartments). There are four big apartments, and the people who live in them get the four good spots in the big garage.

So I’ve been asking for a new parking spot nonstop for a year. I call the management office, ask the woman on the phone about her day and then say, “Where’s my new parking spot?” Finally, as a result of my consistent badgering (or what like to call “persuasive talking”), I am going to get a new spot so my car will no longer be scratched. Now someone else will have my spot and get their car scratched for a while.

In life, you need to be really persistent in everything you do. Don’t ask for something once, and don’t expect someone to get back to you. Don’t ever expect anything.

You need to take a stand for anything you want in life. So the next time you don’t get want you want — whether it’s in business or in your personal life — take a stand for it.

If you’re dating online and you emailed a woman a month or two ago who didn’t respond to you, find her again online and send her another email. Now don’t send an email every day, because even persistence needs to be spaced out properly.

In my example with the car, I wasn’t calling every single day. That crosses the line from persistence into pestering. Pestering just drives people crazy.

A friendly reminder or call about something once a week or every couple weeks, however, is what makes people successful. Persistence is what you need to succeed in life.

We only know what we know. We only know answers when we have the experience to know them. So if you are trying take the fast track working through something, working through it more quickly than you have the knowledge and life experience to do it, then you are never going to be able to accept yourself.

Every moment you experience in life is there to teach you something. Every moment is a lesson for you to learn. Some lessons take months to learn. Some take years to learn. Some only take hours to learn.

Regardless of how long it takes, you need to understand this concept and allow yourself the time to go through that process. The time it takes you to learn and the time to accept is exactly the time frame in which it needed to happen in the first place.

Don’t rush it, because there are no shortcuts in life. There is no shortcut to meeting women, to loving yourself, to accepting yourself, to making money or to anything else you want in life.

If there were such a shortcut to any of these things, everyone would be happy, with the person of their dreams and rich. There are no shortcuts.

So instead of beating yourself up and thinking how you failed at the end of each day, take a different perspective. Write down all the things you learned that day. Do that, and you will all of a sudden start to feel better.

You learned one thing or two things today? Well then you had a great day!

Every day you learn something. You learn how to deal with something better or how to meet women better or how to deal with yourself better.

There is always something you learn how to do better each day. If you’re not learning something each day (or think you’re not), then you need to listen better both to yourself and to the people you’ve chosen to mentor you along the way.

It is an honor for me to be able to mentor you in your dating life. You need to understand that this mentoring relationship we have is two-fold. By me mentoring your, I am really listening to you. The other part of that relationship is that you also need to listen to me.

If you want me to walk you through this journey to self-acceptance, then check out my “Self Love” Audio that is in my Men’s What’s Your Excuse? and Women’s No Excuses programs. In it, I take you through my personal journey to self-acceptance and self love.

For anyone who doesn’t know what a “kegger” is, let me give you the quick description. A kegger is when a bunch of high school kids sit around drinking beer out of a keg, get drunk and act like idiots.

I remember that all the hot girls were going to be at that party, and how badly I wanted to go. Despite this, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t get myself to go. I had so much fear and anxiety about it, and I couldn’t figure out why.

When my buddy John called me around 7:00 pm to let me know he would be picking me up in an hour to go to that party, I told him I couldn’t go. I didn’t tell him that I had too much fear and anxiety to go. I told him the excuse that I had spent the entire day thinking about and creating, that my Mom wasn’t feeling well so I had to stay home to take care of my sister and brother.

I told him how much it sucked that I couldn’t go. I really sold it, and John believed me. I remember getting off the phone and thinking what a great job I did selling that excuse.

How many times have you sold excuses? You get invited to something, but you create an excuse not to go because of your lack of self-confidence, your lack of social confidence and your mindset.

How many times have you spent the entire day working up the perfect excuse to blow off a social event to which you were invited? What is funny is that when you do this, you will always check in the next day with your friends to see what you missed.

Then, because the mind is very funny in the way it works and tricks itself, you think “Oh man, I could’ve gone to that party. I should have gone. Next time I’m going to do it.”

The truth is that the next time you are going to come up with another excuse. The same thing will happen the time after that.

We make excuses in life because it’s too hard to face our fears. As human beings, we love to make excuses. Facing our fears means we have to leave our comfort zone.

When you get out of your comfort zone, it by definition means that you are going to be uncomfortable. As human beings, we always want to be comfortable.

That is why television is so popular. Watching television allows you to escape into a different world.

The Internet is another great escape. If you ever read comments people post on Internet sites, people are as ballsy as can be because they can be their own “alter ego” and say what they would never have the guts to say in real life.

In order to overcome your fears and excuses, you must go out and do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. There is no way around it.

For some of you, that might mean approaching ten women a day. For others of you, that might mean going out on a date with someone you’ve always wanted to ask out on a date but never have.

if you don’t do something every single day that gets you out of your comfort zone, you’re just going to remain comfortably numb (as Pink Floyd so aptly put it) for the remainder of your life. Let me tell you, time goes by really fast.

That was 31 years ago I made that excuse to my friend John to avoid going to that high school party. While I have obviously gotten over those fears, there are times in my life that I will still bail out of things with some other stupid excuse.

Everybody wants to be the boss. Everybody wants to be paid like the boss, but no one wants to excel like the boss.

How many times do you look at how much money your boss makes, compare it to what you make, and think to yourself “I work my ass off. Why does he get to make more money than me?”

Perhaps it is because he built the company from the ground up. Perhaps it is because he hustles every single day and he deserves it.

Build your own company if you think you can do better. That is what I did.

I used to work for people, but I thought I could do better. So I went out and built my own company. I basically ate pasta and butter, and begged and pleaded as I built my own company.

So many people want to be compensated for mediocrity. They try to get five things done in one day, but they only do a mediocre job doing each of those things.

I tell people all the time that if you want to get good at something, learn to be great at one thing at a time before you work on doing other things. Once you perfect that one thing, then move on to doing something else and do it until you can do it perfectly.

As I mentioned in a recent blog, you can’t multitask in life unless you learn how to do each task perfectly first. I am tired of mediocrity. I don’t like mediocrity, and neither should you.

So the next time you look at someone who is good at meeting women, don’t be jealous or upset. Just go out there and perfect one skill that will help you become just as good with women.

Pick just one thing at a time. For example, go to the grocery store and learn how to be the best at meeting women at the grocery store.

The next time you look at your boss thinking he is overpaid and he gives you a list of things at which you can get better, think about how you should respond to him. Instead of being jealous, lazy or unappreciative, prove yourself to him.

Become great at one thing, and then take on the daunting task of becoming great at something else. If your boss tells you that you’re lacking in an area that is a part of your job description — whether it’s that you don’t bring in business, you don’t know to sell, you’re not a good marketer or whatever it might be — then you should go and work overtime to be great at that skill because that is how you get compensated.

Too many people in life feel like they just deserve things. They don’t have a good work ethic.

Get a good work ethic and you will earn respect. If you come to someone with your hand out looking for money and you don’t have that good work ethic, that person will lose all respect for you.

Get good at everything you do. Make a list of five things at which you want to become great, and then tackle one of those things at a time.

If it takes a month to get great at that one thing, then so be it. Just be sure to focus on that one thing until you master it, and forget about the other things while you do.

Hope this was a big kick in the ass for you guys today. I know some of you need it.

Does that mean that this year everyone will be dating a 10? Well, you will be because you are now dating in the 10s and “10s” will be your mantra. Perhaps your New Year’s resolution will be “I’m going to date a 10 in 10.”

Anyway, and all kidding aside, I bet all of you are curious about what I have to say about 2010 and your New Year’s resolutions. If you’ve been reading my recent blogs, you know that I think New Year’s resolutions are bullshit.

So in today’s podcast, I’ve got a kick in the ass for you. What you will hear in this podcast will grip you, will move you and will really wake you up in the RIGHT way as you start out this new year.

I’ve got a couple of special guests with me on this podcast who will help you get 2010 started off with a bang. Hopefully, it will be a bang with someone else, and not just a self-induced bang.

To find out what this is all about, click here and listen now:

Don’t let 2010 be another year full of regrets. Take control of your dating life NOW by investing in yourself with my Men’s Mastery Series and Women’s Mastery Series programs.

People decide on some New Year’s resolutions, and then expect that everything will just instantly change. It’s almost as though people believe that the act of making the resolution is enough to create the change in their lives that they want . . . and that it will happen the minute they make the resolution.

Say my resolution is to meet more women. So I figure I ought to go out there and meet them. I spend about a week trying to meet more women, but yet nothing is happening. I am no more successful at meeting women than I was before I made the resolution. Why?

The reason is that nothing in life changes instantly. Nothing.

Just because the calendar changes, does not mean that all of your own habits and mindset have changed. Your habits and mindset are still the same as they were.

The calendar changing has nothing to do with whether you change. That is why I talk about people needing to do things every day to work toward a goal. To achieve any goal or “resolution,” you need to do something every day toward achieving it.

Stop evaluating yourself. Stop beating yourself up. If you don’t reach your goal that day, it is okay.

You need to realize that just because the calendar changes to a new year, doesn’t change how you will achieve your goals. You still need to start somewhere and sometime, and the best place to start is today and right now.

How will I remember this Memorial Day? I will remember it as hopefully the last time I am ever stubborn. Tomorrow, I am going to share a very personal blog and story with you and tell you more about that!

A great way to begin this unofficial start to the summer is with setting some goals for yourself . . . and then actually sticking with them. What are your goals for the summer?

Before you know it, summer will have come and gone. It always seems to go so quickly!

So today, let’s write down our goals and hold ourselves accountable. As I always say, if you write it down there’s proof and you’re committed to it.

Enjoy Memorial Day!