I’ve been looking recently to buy a new house. There is a house that I saw up in the hills that needs a lot of work. I could buy it for a certain price, put a certain amount of money into it, and at the end I could probably have a couple of hundred thousand dollars worth of equity. I can have that big payoff, right? I could sell it if I wanted to. Or I could live in it if I wanted to.

But here’s the bottom line: I don’t want the house! I don’t like the street that it is on. So even though I could make money on it – there would be a big payoff attached to it – I don’t want it.

Why is it that everything we do in life has to have a big payoff at the end?

When you buy a piece of property, you never buy the land you love; you buy the one that has the best resale value. You want to live in a place that you love, but we’re trained to choose the option that is going to give us the biggest payoff.

Life has to give us the big payoff in every facet. If you buy a stock, yes, there should be a big payoff to your investment. If you buy a house, you want to buy the right house in the right neighborhood at the right price.

But what happened to the time when home ownership was just home ownership – living in a place to increase your quality of life? Coming home to a neighborhood that you love? Having friends over to a place that you were proud of? Hanging artwork on the wall in a place that felt like home?

Why does everything now have to have such a huge payoff at the end?

When you approach someone that you’re attracted to, you’re no longer present in the moment – you’re just thinking about whether or not they like you and if you can get the phone number.

I know so many men who approach a woman and instead of just talking to her and getting to know her, they spend the whole time just thinking about whether or not she is interested in him. From the second they approach her, all they think about is how they can get the phone number – they are focused only on the payoff.

Rather than approaching someone and just having a great conversation, they are worried about the payoff the entire time. They worry about if the other person likes them, they worry if they are going to connect with them, they worry about when they should ask for the phone number, and they are never actually present in the conversation!

Meanwhile, they haven’t even taken the time out to think about if they are genuinely interested in this person or not! The whole point of approaching someone has become the payoff – not to find out if you connect and have chemistry and want to get to know the person further. Figuring out whether you are interested in this person or not should be the payoff.

You have to start learning that often times the quality of life is more rewarding than the big payoff. The payoff – the outcome – is going to happen naturally.

If you’re 100% present in a conversation with someone and enjoying the experience – guess what is going to happen? You’ll get the payoff that you were worried about in the first place! You’ll get the phone number; you will go out on a date and find out whether or not you’re interesting in them.

But if you are so obsessed with the end result during the conversation then you will never intrigue the person or be able to get to know them. You’ll just be nervous and your energy will convey that.

Stop worrying about what the future holds in life. Stop worrying about the future payoff and just stay present. The more present you are the better decisions you’ll make and the richer your life will be.

The other day someone told me that he wanted to get into my business after he listened to me talk about how I struggled for the first few years of my career. He told me he wanted to get into the business, and I asked him why.

He answered, “because I need to make money.” This is hardly the business to get into if you want to make money. You’re a nobody. What’s your platform? What do you stand for? Who are you?

That’s the funny thing about it – so many of us are all about instant gratification. You need to make money right away? Are you that short on cash? Well, get a job! Rob a bank!

There are no shortcuts. Anyone who is successful in anything in life has worked his or her ass off to get there. I don’t know anyone who has found a shortcut.

Now, granted – there are some easier ways to success – such as inheriting Daddy’s business. Some guys just happen to meet a great woman, marry her, and then, boom.

There are people who got involved in the dot com industry in the late nineties and instead of getting greedy actually cashed out in time – they probably haven’t really worked since. Is that luck? Sure, there is luck involved, but there are also smarts there.

But people hear that one story about the actor who became on overnight sensation. The thing you don’t hear about is the ten years it took that actor to become that “overnight” sensation.

I tell guys all of the time that I’ll give them the foundation, but they have to do all of the work. The foundation is the easy part – it’s the sticking with the foundation that is the challenge.

Hard work is tough for people. I don’t know why. There’s no sales letter advertising hard work: “do you want to work 100 hours a week for the first three years of your career? You’ll have to sacrifice everything…” Can you imagine that advertisement? How could you write that? Nobody would buy that product, even though it’s the one thing in the world everyone needs to have.

Todays video is all about how to have fun and unleash that inner child. Have a great weekend I am doing a bootcamp up in Seattle!!

Yesterday we talked about a few quotes. Some of you embraced them, some of you fought them. Life is all about embracing new concepts and thinking outside the box.

Today lets talk about being Rich….lets make a lot of money….or maybe there is a whole new way of being rich besides trading oil.

People spend their entire lives chasing things. Men spend their lives chasing women. Women might chase love. Men might chase money.

And then we finally get these things – some of us get that love, and some of us get the money – we think that we’re really rich. This society is based on the idea that if you’re a millionaire you are rich.

But I’m going to give you a whole different version of what I consider being rich. I’m rich. I’m rich in every aspect of my life. Financially, I’m fine. Emotionally, I kick ass. I have friends I love; I have friends all over the world. My soul is enriched every single day by the things that I do – because I only do things that I love. I’ve got the most fantastic dog in the world. I have people that I work with that are fantastic and amazing. I get on an airplane and I get to travel to places, I get to do things, and I get to experience things.

I lead a rich lifestyle, because everything that I do makes me feel rich – rich as a person. But the greatest thing about being rich is that you absolutely love yourself. You love everything about yourself. I’m not talking egotistically – I’m not talking about walking around with a big ego saying, “I’m the greatest person in the entire world” – not that at all.

What I’m saying in this situation is that you are content with who you are – you’ve accepted all the things about you – you believe in yourself, and in your little nuances. Maybe the fact is that you have skinny legs, or maybe your ass never looks perfect in a pair of jeans – whatever it might be. You’ve embraced all of your insecurities.

You can look at yourself in the mirror everyday and say that life is an amazing gift. Every second of every single day I’m going to spend living my life, experiencing my life and being an active participant in my life – that is the definition of being rich.

There are people who will always have more money than you, and there will be people who will always have more things than you. But the fact is that spoiling yourself in little ways is what’s important.

For instance, going out and buying yourself something you really like – if you can afford it, embrace it and do it. Going out there and having dinner with a friend you haven’t seen in a long time, sharing your heart and sharing your soul – that’s a rich experience.

Everybody should lead a rich lifestyle. It doesn’t take money. Once again, we always want other things. People always think, I’m going to be happy as soon as I get better skills and connect with the opposite sex. I’m going to be happy if I can fall in love.

Or there are a lot of women on the internet that are 39 years old and they think, well I’m not going to be happy until I have a family. You know what? You’re not happy right now! So you’re going to attract all the wrong people and you’re not going to live a very rich lifestyle.

I want to add that also for a lot of people, the idea of being rich is to accumulate things. That’s how they believe they will reach that acceptance of themselves, that contentment.

But to me, and what I always say is that you become happier and more comfortable with yourself by learning to let go of everything you thought you needed.

Eventually, what you learn is that you need to let go of everything – your fears, your desires, and everything else so you can find the true essence of yourself. Once you do, that’s when you define yourself and find out who you truly are.

Once you get there, it’s just easier. When you believe yourself, you realize that you are perfect as you are. You’re not the BEST – there’s a big difference in believing that you’re perfect the way you are and disillusioning yourself into believing that you’re better than everybody else. You’re not the best. But you are perfect as you were created. You’re perfect as you are.

Everything you need to succeed and be happy in life is already in you. You just have to rediscover it, because something clouded that part of you before. Whether it’s your experiences, positive or negative – it doesn’t matter. But it’s really about rediscovering what you already had.

Most people don’t see that – they keep on adding things to their lives and that creates more junk to remove later. That’s why a lot of people can’t be content. Instead of removing all the junk, they keep on adding junk to their life, which makes it more confusing and more difficult for them to define themselves and realize who they truly are.

Todays video is all about how you are going to spend your money. On booze repelling women or on improving yourself.