So, lately I’ve been hearing a lot of guys making the “observation” that women always say they want a “Nice Guy” but then end up with the total jerk. In my circles, this is one of the most common reasons why guys think they don’t get dates. They’re nice guys with “principles” and treat women with “tons of respect” only to have them say they only want to be friends. The “Nice Guy” always follows this up with “Well, women aren’t logical and do really dumb things and this jerk is going to treat her way worse than I would treat her.” And we can’t forget “Well, I’m a nice guy, that’s who I am and I won’t change into a jerk for her, that’s just not who I am.” I’ve heard this over and over again and I’ve probably thought this way myself once or twice.

Well, guess what? This whole “Girls don’t date nice guys” is true. Women don’t want a “Nice Guy”. They may say they do, but what they really mean is that they want a GOOD guy.
What’s the difference? Well for starters, Nice Guys aren’t actually nice. A Nice Guy is a guy who doesn’t think enough of himself to fully take control of his life so he tries to be as accommodating and inoffensive as possible.

Nice Guys And Dating

When he meets a woman he’s attracted to he wants to make sure he does everything he can to please her. He thinks he can do this by constantly asking if she’s okay and getting her to plan dates. The wishy-washy sentence “Oh whatever you want to do?” is the perfect example of this.

See, what the nice guy is actually doing is giving control over his life to the woman. He’s too scared to live his life so he’ll let her do it for him. It’s weak and not just a little cowardly. Women don’t want the power over a man’s life. She wants a partner, a friend, a lover… not someone who she has to make life decisions for. When you’re “nice” you’re really trying to give up the responsibility of living your own life to a woman, trusting she’ll take care of you.
In my books, that’s a pretty jerky thing to do.

How many times do I need to tell you guys that the reason you end up in the friend zone, is because the woman never looked at you as a sexual being. She’s never felt that you turned her on sexually and emotionally.

It’s all about how you got involved with her in the beginning. Instead of asking her out, you said, “Let’s hang with a group of people” or you would just kind of run into her over and over again. You acted like a friend.

If you want to get out of the friend zone, the next time you first meet a woman you need to ask her out. You step up to the plate. You get some balls and you ask her out.

If you’re friends with a woman and you have a crush on her, stop. Ask her out. You can always go back to being a friend again.

If you’re a woman who’s stuck in the friend zone with a guy, look at him and say “Look, I have feelings for you. I’d like to explore this more. Are you up for it?” If the guy is not up for it, he’ll tell you. He’ll say he enjoys the friendship.

Do these things so you no longer have to email me and tell me you’re stuck in the friend zone. Do this so you can move forward. So many people waste time pining away for people they’re never going to have.

So today your challenge is to get out of the friend zone. Approach those two people in your life with whom you’re stuck in the friend zone, and either ask them out or state your intentions.

The real reason why you’re friends with them is because you’re hoping one day they will wake up and fall in love with you. So why don’t you take control of it? Get out there and do this today.

I told him that unless he wants to start playing basketball with her, that this is not the time to make his move. Unless he wants to be “rebound man,” this is not the time to make his move. If he wants to be the guy she with whom she cries, talks and falls in love with for about an hour, then this is time to make his move.

You never want to be “rebound man,” because he never stands a chance of actually getting her. When any relationship ends, you need time to process your feeling, your emotions and the relationship as a whole.

I remember in my 20′s being “rebound man” a few times. I thought it was so cool. I thought, “Timing is everything, and I’m going to make my move right away.”

It was great. We’d get close, then she would freak out and say it was too soon. Then we’d get close again, and she would call and say she was thinking about getting back together with her ex.

You never want to be “rebound man.” You don’t stand a chance. What happens is that as she’s healing and using you as the rebound person, she’s going to meet someone else. She will see you as the person who made her feel better, but will see this new guy as the person who makes her feel great.

So, realize, that unless you want to play basketball that you don’t ever want to be “rebound man.”

I really don’t have women anymore with whom I am just “buddy-buddy.” Now I am not talking about having women friends. I am talking about being just friends with certain women whom I liked as more than friends, but with whom I was just friends because that is all I could be with them.

I used to have women friends like this during my twenties. I was always the dishrag.

They would get into a fight with Joe The Boyfriend, and then they would call me crying and say, “Oh my God, I don’t know what happened…” I’d sit there and listen to them because I would think that something would happen if I just listened and waited it out.

What did happen with those women? Nothing.

They would come over and say, “Can I snuggle with you?” Then we would snuggle as I had a full-on erection, hoping that they either wouldn’t notice or would notice and give me some misery sex or something.

I would also keep hoping that when they would break up with Joe The Boyfriend, that they would then decide to date me. Did that ever happen? Nope. They would break up with Joe The Boyfriend and start dating someone new . . . and I was never that guy.

Eventually I realized that there was a way to escape being stuck in the friend zone. I started to realize that every time I befriended women in another way, things turned out very differently (and with a much more desirable result!).

I began to be the “cool guy” with women I would befriend. I would hang out with them and have fun — maybe take the dog for a walk on the beach or get some coffee — but there was no romantic pressure or talking about the boyfriend. Once I started doing this, I never went back.

I never again sat with one of these women and said, “So what’s your relationship with your boyfriend really about?” I didn’t ask women in text messages, “How’s your boyfriend?”

I knew what the relationship was about, and we didn’t have to talk about it all the time. We might talk about it for five or ten minutes, but then I’d drop the subject.

By being this type of friend — a buddy, but really not a buddy — if she texts you out of the blue six months down the road, then she is still thinking about you.

I remember back when I was single something like this happening to me one time. I received a friend request on Facebook from a real estate agent whom I had asked out on a date months before.

When I first met her, I wrote her an email that said “You know what? I’m very indecisive right now about the house that I want, but one thing I’m very sure about is that I want to get to know you better. Dinner.” She emailed me back saying, “God, I’m so flattered and tempted, but I’m seeing somebody and just can’t right now.”

So months later she added me as a Friend on Facebook (with no message). This meant that somewhere in the back of her mind, subconsciously, she was thinking about me.

So what I did next was to write her a little note on Facebook saying, “How the hell are you? What’s going on? Is that boyfriend protecting you from burglars?” (We had talked when I met her about her house almost being broken into, and I was joking that she needed somebody to protect her).

She responded, “Well, the dog protected me.” That led into a conversation and some consistent contact (and ultimately a date with her as her relationship was on the verge of ending).

So think about the women in your life with whom you might be able to reconnect. How do you be sure to stay out of the friend zone? Be sure that you’re not being used as a dishrag. Be that “cool” guy, and you will never get stuck in that dreaded friend zone.

So now lets turn the tide and talk about the opposite sex.

If you have not seen this record blog click here.

So what do you do if she has a boyfriend?

You walk over to her and you’ve been talking and you think you’re doing great. You say, “hey, I’d love to get together with you; let’s grab a cup of coffee,” and she says, “well, I have a boyfriend.”

At this point, most guys tuck their tails between their legs and run away. This makes you the asshole that ran away as soon as someone mentioned the word “boyfriend.”

Here is what you should do instead: say something like, “oh man, what a lucky guy.” This plants a seed in her head, where she thinks, what a lucky guy? He’d better think he’s lucky to have me!

Then she goes home that afternoon and gets into a fight with her boyfriend and she’ll be able to say, “do you realize how lucky you are going out with me?” You’ve planted that seed.

Another one of my favorite responses to the “I have a boyfriend” is this: “oh man, I hope he treats you well,” or “I hope he appreciates you.” This also gets her thinking, oh man, this guy doesn’t really appreciate me! I’ve been fighting with him for the last few weeks!

This opens up a potential conversation down the road. Two minutes later she will be telling you about the boyfriend that doesn’t appreciate her.

You have to say all of these things from your heart, or they will sound fake.

Another thing you can say is, “just my luck, this is ridiculous. I was so ready to start dating again. I just processed my last relationship and I’ve spent a lot of time working on myself. I have to tell you, I’m super picky, and the last few women that I’ve hit it off with…” – which tells her that you’ve hit it off with her and that you’re very instinctual – “have all seemed to have had boyfriends! Do you have a twin or anything? A friend just like you?”

I’ve been set up like that with a friend that was pretty damn hot. You’re also networking for a date, which a lot of guys try to avoid. You want to network for the date because this will allow you to go out and meet some more interesting people.

And remember the 50% rule: 50% of the people that you meet today that are in a relationship will be single in a year.

Do you want to be the guy that complimented her with confidence and dignity? And then when you run into her again someday and ask, “so how’s that boyfriend treating you?” guess who is going to get the phone call? You. She will remember that good spirit and great energy every single time.

So the next time she says that she has a boyfriend, you have to think about what your answer is going to be instead of running away from her like the bratty kid who didn’t get his toy.

It’s about the dividend. It’s like investing in real estate. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all buy real estate today and sell it tomorrow for a profit? Right. There is nothing in life that you do today that is going to pay you a dividend tomorrow.

Anything that you invest in now is going to have its great payoff in the future. This is just one of the future benefits.

And I am enjoying the future benefits now. My girlfriend when we met had a boyfriend and now she is with me. We were friends, she broke up and we reconnected a year later.

Thats why you just kick back and be yourself with no expectations.

Todays video is all about Live Street Approaches.

This topic is always interesting to me, but it is especially interesting right now because I am currently dating a woman with whom I started out being just friends. When I first met her, she was actually dating somebody else.

So how did I go from the friend zone to the boyfriend zone with her? Did I subliminally do some mind tricks on her to convince her that dating me would be a far better experience than the one she was having with her boyfriend? Absolutely not. What I did was I got to know her.

For any of you who have been in the friend zone with a woman and wondered if there was a way out of it, here are four tips to help you get a woman to look at you in a different way:

1. Don’t Sell Yourself: If you meet and become friends with a woman whom has a boyfriend, don’t sell yourself to her her at all. Get to know her over a period of time. If a woman is attracted to you as a person, she could become attracted to you a significant other. It all depends on at what place she is in her life. We all know that many relationships tend to “go south” and end. The problem is that a lot of men will meet a woman who is in a relationship and decide not to befriend her at all. Now I’m not suggesting that you become the shoulder she comes to cry on when things are going wrong with her boyfriend. What I am suggesting is that you can get to know her as a person, because you never know where life may lead you down the road. So don’t be a salesman, and don’t berate her boyfriend. Get to know her. Be yourself. Have a good time with her, and see if natural chemistry develops between you. When you are genuine and take the time to get to know her as a person, she actually might start to look at you in a different light and end her relationship.

2. Don’t Be Afraid To Express Yourself: If you’ve already been friends for a long time with the female whom you’d like to date and she’s never thought about you in a romantic way, then you need to understand that there’s a good chance she’ll never think of your romantically. The way so many guys get themselves into the eternal friend zone is that they played it too safe when they first met that woman. They act in a very passive-aggressive way toward her. They are so afraid of really expressing to her any indication of their romantic interest in her, that they go out of their way not to express any feelings toward her at all. For example, instead of really asking the woman out on a date, they will ask her to hang out in a group. So instead of really talking to her and clearly asking her out on a date, guys will nervously ask a woman out on a “non-date” kind of date. The reason why it is almost a foregone conclusion that you will end up in the friend zone in this situation, is because you have never asked her out on a real date. You ask her out – to barbeques, to happy hours or to parties – but it’s always to join a group of other people. If you’re interested in somebody, you need to ask her out so it’s clear to her that you are asking her out on a date.

3. Be Patient: Four of my best relationships have been with women with whom I was friends before I became romantically involved with them. To do this, you must be patient. So many guys will not even befriend a woman if she has a boyfriend at the time they meet her. They won’t take the time to befriend her because they are only interested in immediate gratification, i.e., if they can’t get involved with her romantically right now they don’t want to have any involvement with her at all. You have to stop thinking about immediate gratification all of the time. Not every woman you meet today is going to want to go out with you tonight. I tell guys to think of befriending women they meet like building a portfolio of interesting people with whom they can get together in the future. You need to treat women you meet like long-term investments. Just enjoy getting to know them as a person right now, because you never know what may happen. Chemistry just might spark between the two of you.

4. Don’t Wait And Take Action: Don’t ever ask a woman’s friends to tell you about what she is thinking, and in particular do not ask them what she thinks about you. If you are interested in a female friend and would like to get out of the friend zone with her, then you need to ask her out on a date. Take the risk. She might actually feel the same way about you as you do about her. She may have been developing a crush on you too. So what you need to do is take the risk, because the friendship can survive something like you asking her out on a date. You, however, don’t want to have to live with the self-torture of never knowing if you could have become romantically involved with her. Don’t wait to take action, thinking that will say something to you if she is interested. Even if she is interested, she might never say anything first. So don’t ever wait. If you’ve got a crush on a female friend of yours, you need to call her and say “You know what? I want to go out with you. You and I need to hang out alone.” Make it clear to her that you want to go out on a date with her. It doesn’t matter if she says yes or if she says no. It just matters that you take the chance. You will define the relationship one way or another, and then you can move forward.

Dating takes a lot of patience. It takes a lot of perseverance. The best things in life, in fact, tend to pay off when you have patience and perseverance. No one is ever completely successful the first time they do something.

So start being willing to take your time. Take time to look at all the women you’ve met in your life, and think about whether any of them stick out as being someone you’d like to get to know again. Perhaps she’s someone with whom you became friends when you first met. Send her a text or call her on the phone. Who knows? She might be more receptive to you the second time time around

Its a tough day for me, I had to drop Daphne my amazing Lab off to the vet to see if the tumor she has is cancer.

So today I am just a bit out of sorts in all ways.

And to top it all off when I got back to the office we had a mild earthquake.

Now i do not believe in God but someone up there was really mad about Daphne.
Today we have a video.
It is all about Facebook, crushes and 24 years later on how I should have never put myself in the friend zone.

This one is a real eye opener.

It was for me and it will be for you as well.