A client of mine recently reunited with a woman he used to have a crush on in high school, after they found each other on Facebook ten years later. They didn’t know each other very well in school, but they hung recently and hit it off.

They had dinner together, then she invited him over to her place for some drinks. He followed.

The woman had a young daughter, and once the daughter went to bed, my client moved in to try to kiss her. She turned her head away, but they continued chatting. My client immediately thought that she rejected him and that he was put in the friend zone, and didn’t make another move.

A little later, she suggested that he sleep on the couch because they had both been drinking. In the middle of the night, the woman came into the living room and got under his covers and laid down with him. Assuming she wanted to hook up, he then started feeling her up.

She pushed his hand away and said she just wanted to cuddle. Then she slept in his arms for the rest of the night.

Foreplay

The next day my client received a Facebook message from her saying that she was sorry about the situation last night, but it’s not something she does with guys right at the beginning.

Ok, let’s break this down:

My client thought he was in the friend zone because this girl did not want to hook up with him and in his mind, she was sending him mixed signals.

Was he in the friend zone? NO. Was she sending him mixed signals? Maybe, but we’ll talk about why that doesn’t matter.

First, you are NEVER in the friend zone on the first date with a woman. You are not friends with a woman on a first date, so you cannot be in the friend zone. Unless you’ve been hanging out with her for a while with no spark, or she says right in the beginning, “I like you better as a friend,” or “Let’s just be friends,” or something like that, you are not in the friend zone.

So, was she giving him mixed signals here?

Let’s dig into how female psychology works. My client assumed that because she invited him over for drinks that she wanted to hook up. Then he assumed that because she offered for him to sleep on the couch that she wanted to hook up. Then he assumed that because she got under the covers that she wanted to hook up.

He was wrong each time.

So if she liked him, why didn’t she want to get physical with him? After all, if you’re attracted to somebody, you will want to have sex, right?

Kind of. The problem with my client is that he was thinking too much like a man. If you’re a typical guy, the only thing on your mind is the shortest point from the tip of your penis to the entrance of her vagina. You’re attracted to a woman, you want to have sex. Period.

Not so fast with women. Sure, just like men, some women will be horny right then and there and are just craving some action. Even for women who are looking for a relationship, she may be really attracted to the guy and act on impulse and sleep with him, and still want a relationship with him later on.

There is no hard rule. Every woman is different, just like every man is different, and it all depends on where they’re at in life.

A young girl in her 20′s may be really concerned about finding the right guy and want to move slowly because she wants to be romanced and to feel special. Another girl in her 20′s may be sexually open or going through a phase where she wants to sleep with a guy right away. Some women are looking for relationships and will hold off on sex until they’re in one. Some women have been burned in the past and don’t want to get hurt again. Some have children and are looking for a guy who is stable and dependable, who will be there when she needs to call on someone for support. Some women have freed themselves up sexually and all they want right now is sex (the infamous “cougar”).

But most of the time, and this is the biggest lesson a lot of guys need to learn if you really want to turn her on, is that YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT SLOW. Emotions and fantasy have to take time to cultivate and they come into play slowly, not overnight. You have to keep your pants on. You have to lead my taking small steps, being the one to end things first and knowing when to leave, letting the sexual tension build, and giving her space.

You have to be patient with the woman you’re with. Just because you’re turned on does not mean that the pants need to come flying off. For a guy, sex is the goal. No sex? Fail. For a woman, intercourse is not the goal. Cuddling counts. Making out counts. Oral sex counts. Feeling turned on and emotionally connected, these things all count as part of the bigger picture. So don’t get discouraged if she tells you to put the breaks on because you’re moving too fast. A lot of times if you get shot down, you need to listen to what she’s telling you. She’s saying she wants to take it slow and get to know you better, not that she doesn’t like you.

You need to let the sexual tension build up, you have to let her feel comfortable and safe around you, you have to let her know that you are actually interested in her as a person, interested in spending time with her, and not only that you want to have sex with her. You make sure that she knows you’re still going to be around for round two, round three, and round four.

So forget about mixed signals coming from a woman. You have to assume that she’s interested in you sexually if she’s inviting you over to spend time with you.

If you make a move and instead she wants to cuddle in bed with you the first time, that’s ok. Let her feel safe around you and build up your trust level.

If it’s the third or fourth time and she’s still pushing you away, you need to man up and ask her what’s up. She may not actually like you. She may have some hang-ups that you deserve to know about. Be up front and open. Tell her you’re into her, that you want to be intimate with her, and find out if she just wants to take things slow or if she’s not actually attracted to you.

But if you’re getting shot down the first couple dates and she still wants to see you again, that’s actually a good thing, not a failure. You’re making progress, you’re being clear with what you want, and it’s time to slow it down and take control by taking smaller steps instead of trying to go from 0 to 100 in one night.

Got a great one from somebody the other day that I really thought was worth posting, especially where there seems to be a common theme.

As you know, I will never post e-mails that you guys send me unless I have your permission. So I e-mailed this guy back and I told him I want everybody to know and understand and learn from your own experience, and he had no problem having me post it.

Here is a shortened version of what he wrote

:

“Hey David, can you explain to me why I can’t get an erection when I’m with my girlfriend? I just need physical stimulation to get it up when we’re intimate. She has a lot more experience than me and she says all her past boyfriends would get hard just at the sight of her body. Plus, my penis is only 5.3 inches. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve probably measured it more than 10 times this week. I really need to get these thoughts out of my head and figure out what’s going on…”

10 times?

You’ve got way too much free time on your hands if you’ve measured your penis more than 10 times this week. 5.3 inches—great, you know the exact amount too. Obviously you have no problem getting hard on your own. You’ve had 10 erections on your own this week? 10 boners that you were able to measure each and every time and you were able to get 5.3 inches?

Who cares how long your penis is? It doesn’t matter. What matters is how you hit the wall. What matters is how you please her, how you grind into her, how you perform in bed. It’s not the size, the way you move your hips, and even more so, the way you perform foreplay. (You can perfect the art of foreplay no matter how long or short your penis is, but that’s another blog for another time—we’ll get there too if you ask nicely )

Here’s the deal: the reason why you can’t get an erection when you’re with her is because your EGO is freaking out. Look at what you just wrote. “She has a lot more experience than me.” It’s actually bothering you that you’re with a woman that has a lot more experience than you. Your ego can’t handle it. Your male ego is wired to be annoyed by that. Your male ego wants YOU to be the one that has the sexual experience in the relationship, and not than the woman that you’re with. A lot of guys suffer from that, and it’s ok if that’s where you’re at right now. But it can mess you up, and you need to recognize what’s going on in your head and how you should be thinking.

I could care less when I sleep with somebody how much experience they have. In fact, I want them to have a ton of experience, otherwise I’m just going to get bored with them. I want them to know what they’re doing. I want them to bring new things to the table.

I want to learn stuff! It doesn’t matter.

Just be happy that she’s got the experience and she wants to use it all on you.
Now, your girlfriend also needs to grow up a little bit. All her past boyfriends would just get hard at the sight of her body? Great, but you’re not her past boyfriend. So that puts pressure on you. But, more importantly, it shows that she’s got no compassion for you and she doesn’t understand how to get you hard. You need physical stimulation. That’s great.

She should be willing, with all of her sexual experience, to stimulate you. What you need to do in this situation is have this conversation with her. Say, “Hey babe, I don’t get hard at the sight of your body. I think you’re absolutely sexy as hell and I’m really turned on to you. But I need physical stimulation, and it’s got nothing to do with you. So why don’t you take all that great experience and why don’t you show me how hard you can get me?”

Have fun with it. Communicate with her. That is key! I know you’re just intimidated. Your ego is playing with your mind, your ego is definitely, definitely keeping you in check right now and she knows it. You’ve got to really even the playing field out, and you’ve got to embrace her experience and allow her to get you really hard and excited.

If you really desire to be the best lover she has ever had click here for more details.

Sonja looked at me and said, “Oh my God, a Siamese cat. I love them!” I said, “Me too.”

So we both got down on the ground and looked into each other’s eyes. We had that really great gaze that only lovers can have.

All of a sudden, we got involved in this heavy petting session — right there at the end of the driveway. It was really heavy petting.

That cat kept pushing up against us really hard as we were petting it. It kept raising its ass up in the air because it was loving the heavy petting so much. It kept banging its head against us, to encourage us to continue the heavy petting.

When we left, we were hoping the cat wouldn’t follow us since we had to cross the street. I know after an intense heavy petting session, cats tend to follow you because they are so satisfied.

So why this whole cat story? Well it was inspired by an email I just received.

The email said, “I met up and took a trip with a guy. At the end of the trip, we kissed and had some heavy petting, but no sex. Then he went back to his country. . .”

Heavy petting? Really?

Are we rubbing each other’s heads like cats? Are we touching each other on that certain spot above the ass, resulting in us sticking our butts up in the air? Are we getting down on all fours and saying stupid things to one another so that the other person will touch us with heavier hands?

Heavy petting just sounds so hot. “God, Sonja and I made out the other night. It was so hot. Then, all of the sudden, we were heavy petting . . . ” Come on now.

Heavy petting is the weirdest term in the world. Who came up with that term?

What ever happened to the term “fooling around?” How about saying that you were caressing each other’s bodies? How about saying that you were sexually touching each other? How about just saying kissing and some great foreplay?

When did we become animals? When did “heavy petting” become a term in our common vocabulary? Let’s talk about that today.

In the meantime, I have to go because my girl is looking at me right now wagging her tail and I need to take her for a walk. Wait, actually I am going to do some heavy petting on Daphne my dog, so that she will be extra satisfied when she pees.

No podcast today just got back from a trip.

Today I thought we could all use a great laugh. Have you ever wondered if that sexy massage therapist would be willing to show you a happy ending?

Today’s video reveals the truth about Happy Endings and why certain massage places may not be what they appear.

And to all the women of my blog you need to wach this video as well, it will change your view of men forever.

It’s amazing what a good orgasm will do. I’m not talking about self-administered orgasms.

To tell you the truth, those kind of orgasms are lame. They really are.

It doesn’t take much skill to plug a vibrator into the wall, put it on your clit and fifteen seconds later scream “Ohhhhhh!” as you come. Bravo! Let me give you a standing ovation. Also, to the men out there who are beating off in the middle of the day over the sink with hand lotion they stole from their grandmother, I say get real!

Those are not the kind of orgasms I am talking about here. What I am talking about is the sex you have in a relationship that makes the fights go away.

Now, I’m also not talking about taking off your clothes, humping and getting each other off (basically masturbating inside each other). That is not what sex is all about.

Granted, I’ve had relationships in which the sex was really just about masturbating inside each other. I’m sure all of you have.

What I am talking about here is being connected to each other’s needs, wants and desires leading up to sex. That means tuning in to how your lover needs to be taken.

Are you someone who just needs to be thrown down on the ground in a testosterone-driven rage and be taken while they look in your eyes? Are you someone who needs verbal foreplay? Whatever it is, we are all very different sexually.

We all love the act itself. Who doesn’t love the warmth and the moisture and the heat of that whole experience?

I remember when I was a baby what my first words were to my Mother. I said, “Wow, it’s so warm in your amniotic sac.”

When I slid my way out, I couldn’t wait to get back in. It took me eighteen and a half years to get back inside.

The bottom line here is to know how you are wired sexually. What do you need the most in your lover? This is something I want all of you to think about today.

Do you need someone to seduce you? Do you need someone who will look in your eyes and talk dirty to you in order to turn you on?

Are you someone who likes to get raw and dirty, and just be taken? You want to have dinner, go home and have your lover f*^k the shit out you?

Write down whatever it is that you want and need. This is very important and something that a lot of people overlook.

Like your good friend Dr. David says, “an orgasm a day keeps the Tyson away.” It keeps the fighting away.

The only issue, and what’s important, is how we get to that orgasm. You may not be aligned with somebody sexually; they may be a totally different sexual type than you are. In that situation you might be having great sex, but it doesn’t mean you are being fulfilled.

So it’s really important before you get into a relationship (or even if you’re in one already), that you are straight about who you are sexually. Be honest about who you are and what you want. This is so important because once you start having sex with someone, it’s very hard (no pun intended) to make changes.

See everyone tomorrow!

So many men are so obsessed about getting into a woman’s pants that they miss business opportunities all of the time. For instance, let’s say you’re trying to start your own business.

The key to starting a business is customers – if you don’t have customers, you won’t have a business. So, technically, every person you meet is a potential customer – maybe not today, but down the road.

Life is about investing. I look at life like the stock market.

Some stocks you buy, wanting them to pop in five minutes, and then you want to bail out. I look at those as like having a one-night stand. You buy this stock, it goes up $2, you get in and you get out. You get a little bit of a high and you’re done. That’s like getting laid that night.

Other stocks you buy because you know the value of the company. You know it’s undervalued at the moment, but you’re making an investment in the company for the future.

It’s the same thing that happens in dating. When you’re dating someone, you’re making an investment in the moment for the future. Everybody you meet has some type of potential for you down the road.

So here’s what you should do. Get the business card of everyone you meet, and on the back of each card write down the following three things: (1) Where you met them, (2) when you met them and (3) three personal things you learned about them (e.g., what they like to do).

Let’s say four years down the road you open up your own business. Every person you’ve met over the last four years now sits in a stack of business cards on your desk.

Open up a Gmail account and enter all of these people into your address book. For each person input their name, address, phone number, email and all the things you noted about them on the back of the business card. Then when you’re working 75 hours a week trying to build your business, you can write personalized emails to all those people you met.

You can write emails like, “Hey Joe, greet meeting you. Remember we met about four years ago in Georgetown? It was interesting, we had this great conversation about French wine and I actually went out and bought two bottles that you recommended. I never emailed you to say thank you, but here it is! Listen, I just opened up my own financial planning business, and I’m reaching out to everyone because this is a real passion of mine. Whether you’re looking to invest now or in the future, I’d love to keep you abreast of things. I’m writing a newsletter that I’d like to send out to you. If you’d ever like to talk investments with me, then let’s get together sometime.” Then end it with “your friend,” “truly,” “see you soon,” or something else very personal.

So what does this mean? It means that every day, you’re out there cultivating potential clients and dates. You might meet a potential client on a Wednesday, and he may lay $1 million on you Thursday (which is like getting laid right away). Another one might take ten years to get (which is more like a relationship).

Regardless, you cultivate them the same way. Every single person you meet has to go into your database.

Even the person who does hire you right away is an important relationship to cultivate and maintain, because you want to keep them coming back for more. It’s like great foreplay. If you please them and they come back for more, that means you’ve essentially f*^ked them really well and left them very satisfied.

You’ve given them really good foreplay. You’ve gotten to know them — their body and their mind. You’ve gotten them off, they loved it and now they’re back for more.

Life if about treating everyone well. Don’t do business with someone that you don’t like. I tell people that all of the time. That’s why I speak to people on the phone before I do business with them. I have to see if I like them. If I like them, I’ll want to work with them.

To me, it’s a relationship that can last forever. If you do business with friends, than it’s like it’s not really business. Friends trust friends. That’s really what it comes down to in the end.

This dating and sex analogy is a bit weird to think about at first, but it’s true. You just have to make everybody feel good.

I don’t care who makes it from the National League, because the Yankees are winning it all this year. You can take that prediction to the bank . . . and maybe even to the bedroom.

Life is not fair.  The other night I was having a conversation with someone about sex. I’m not going to tell you all the specifics, other than to tell you that after that discussion, I was absolutely orgasm envious! So let’s talk about orgasms, and I will tell you the reason why I’m orgasm envious.

By the way, if I could have one wish it would be that I could have a vagina for a day. I just think it would be so much fun. I already know exactly what kind of orgasms I’d want to have. I’d love to know how to have multiple orgasms through all different ways.

I’d want to have a g-spot orgasm. Of course there is the clitoris, so I’d want at least one clitoral orgasm (since the only reason it exists is for pleasure). Then there is this other place way back in the bowels of the vagina that supposedly can create a whole other type of orgasm.

I mean, give me a break. Right there, that’s three different kinds of orgasms! We men only get one kind.

I really don’t, however, want to talk today about the unfairness of orgasm counts between the sexes. What I really want to talk about today is sexual prime.

By the time men hit the age of 25, they are basically out of their sexual prime. Age 25? Half of the guys out there don’t even get laid enough to enjoy their sexual prime while they’re in it. Then by the time they are getting enough sex, they are already out of their sexual prime.

Women, on the other hand, don’t hit their sexual prime until they are around 37 years old. Think about the way that balances out.

By the time a guy is 37 years old, he isn’t exactly producing the same amount of “little swimmers” as he used to produce. Not only that, he doesn’t really want to have sex five times a day anymore (while women at that same age are machines!).

It’s no wonder that 37 year old women are the number one consumers of vibrators. They can basically vibrate their day away.

It’s really not fair the way things line up here. It really seems like things are very askew. It’s no wonder that there are so many cougars running around out there.

If I were a 37 year old woman who was hanging out with a Viagra-infused 55 year old guy with no stamina, I would certainly go find myself a young buck. I mean look at Demi Moore.

Don’t ever give her a hard time. She has a guy who is (whoops, I mean was) in his sexual prime. Wait, she may need to go find someone even younger. Justin Timberlake and Zach Efron, Demi Moore may be calling you really soon.

All joking aside, it just doesn’t seem right how the sexual prime thing is set up. Is this God’s way of punishing us? Someone was being mean when they designed the penis and the vagina. Why aren’t those two things created to be in alignment with one another?

Can all the guys remember when you were 18 and you basically would hump the air every five seconds (almost like a dog that humps the air all the time)? The reason why you were humping air was because you constantly wanted your dick to be touched.

I remember when I was 18 years old. I was so penis conscious, it was ridiculous. I felt my penis nonstop. No, I don’t mean that I touched my penis nonstop. I was just aware of it nonstop.

My penis led my life. It made me sleep with some really iffy women. It wasn’t my idea to sleep with them. It was my penis’ idea.

Not only that, but some guys can’t snuggle with a woman until they hit 28 years old. When you are a male who is 22 or 23 years old and your girlfriend asks you to snuggle, you have to go to the bathroom and snap a load off before you can do it.

This sexual prime gap between men and women just does not seem fair. Something is kharmically wrong here! It’s a mean joke. It’s like our sexual primes should have been matched.

Then again, some of this seeming mismatch may actually have been designed better than we thought. So although a guy past his sexual prime may no longer be able to pump and grind five times in one night, he can really satisfy a woman during the one time they do it and will be more likely to want to engage in a lot more of the foreplay that women crave so much.

Sexting is really all about escalating. I am not trying to sound like a pickup artist (as most of you well know!), but when you’re dirty texting back and forth you really want to take the woman on a journey.

Think of sexting like a road heading into the mountains. The road starts out nice and flat, but you want to test things out ahead of time. You want to make sure your tires are sound and that the brakes will work.

So to do that, you will send something very simple like, “I had a thought . . . ” If she takes the bait, she’ll text you back asking you what that thought was.

Then you can write, “Well, last night I had this dream about you . . .” When you do that, you’re testing a little bit to see if she goes for it. This is good, because if you really had a dream about someone, you would probably share it with that person in bursts (and not all at once).

You want to be able to take it slowly. Really, this is mental masturbation! If you can get her to mentally masturbate about the thought of you having sex with her, she’s going to want to sleep with you when you meet up. So you’re really just testing the road.

It’s also about being 100% in control. For instance, you can say something like, “Yeah, last night I learned about this new position, and it was really hot. So, how’s your trip to D.C.?”

It’s a giveaway-takeaway. You want to constantly give and take away from her.

The more you do that, the hotter she will become. You’re teasing her.

It’s really the same thing with sex. The guy who goes straight for the vagina and pounds away is not going to please the woman. The guy who massages, loves and cherishes the woman is the one who is going to get that woman totally hot.

It’s the same thing for sexting and for sex. Everything is about foreplay. Life is about foreplay.

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If you’re not on my subscriber list and want to get on it (so you can get in on these specials in the future), simply sign up in the box near the top of the page (for my “Naked Truth Dating Secrets” subscriber list).

So, you’re dating a woman now whose only sexual experiences have been with men that are pump and dumpers. For those of you who don’t know what a pump and dumper is: it’s what I call ‘minutemen.’

Not the minutemen from the Revolutionary War.. They get in, they thrust their hips, they pump a few times, and then they dump all their little men: all their little sea-men to swim all over the place.

A lot of women who are young (and some unfortunately that are older) have only been with pump and dumpers and they have no idea of how unbelievably amazing sex can be with an attentive, sexually aware man. They don’t know sex with a man that has been reading these blogs – a man that really knows that sex and foreplay start right inside a woman’s mind.

So let’s say you’ve done it all right. You’ve started with sex and foreplay, and you’ve seduced her mind and you have her all turned on. How do you encourage this woman – who is basically very submissive in bed due to the fact that all of her experience is with Mr. Pump and Dump?

The reason why she is submissive, much of the time, is that she has never explored her own sexuality. A lot of women that have had pump and dumpers don’t know what they want sexually, and they are usually women that have never masturbated. They don’t know what feels good and what doesn’t. Their only experience is with Mr. P & D.

For those of you who think he is related to P & G, you’re absolutely incorrect. Pump and Dump is not Proctor & Gamble – though I heard that Proctor & Gamble makes their products for pump and dumpers. But it’s just a rumor that I heard!

Anyway, how do you encourage this woman to open up to her own sexuality?

First of all, this woman may or may not have ever had an orgasm before. I would assume that she never has. She thinks she might be having an orgasm – it might be a momentary wave – but she is not having a full-blown orgasm.

If you ask her if she’s had an orgasm, and she says, “I think so” – there is no “I think so” when it comes down to orgasms. Either you’ve had one or you haven’t! If a woman will tell you that she thinks she had an orgasm, it means that she has probably only experienced a little wave of pleasure and not a full orgasmic experience. Ladies, please chime in here and describe what a full orgasmic experience feels like so all the men know.

So let’s assume that she’s never had an orgasm. You’ve got to become the teacher in this relationship. She is probably the type of woman that just expects you to do whatever you want to do, and she’ll just lie there submissively.

So you need to show her slowly how amazing sex is. I would take some extra time and give her a full body massage. I would spend extra time kissing her and just touching her, everywhere except in her breast and her groin area.

I would take extra time when I go down on her and not only lick her, but to also touch all parts of her body also at the same time. I would also slip one finger inside as I was licking her in order to give her a different experience.

I wouldn’t ask her if she is coming. I would just continually do all the things that I know bring pleasure to a woman, and I would ask her, “how does that feel for you? Are you enjoying this? How do you like the pressure? I want to please you and I want to make you feel amazing.” Don’t say, “I want to give you an orgasm.” Don’t tell her you want her to scream and yell. Just say, “I want to make you feel wonderful. Okay?”

And take your time. Allow her to open up and allow her to see sex in an entirely different light. Don’t expect the magical orgasm right away. Don’t expect her to open up immediately. Your only job is to show her – through a soothing, relaxing, attentive sexual session – just how great sex can be.

Another way to do it, too, is when you’re having sex with her, is to do the opposite of what the pump and dumpers have done. Hold her really close to you so she can feel the tightness and feel the sensuality of sex, and then grind in very slowly as you pull her close to you. That way your pubic bone is actually massaging her clit at the same time. By doing that and staying deep inside her, you’re going to give her feelings that she has not had before and you’re going to get her to open up. You may actually get her to start having a clitoral orgasm that way, in time.

You are also going to show her a different side of sex, going to show her the sensuality of sex so that she can feel protected, warm, and nurtured during the experience.

Right now, all she feels is used. All she feels is that guys want to get inside, get off, and leave. So you’ve got to deal with the fact that she was with Mr. P & D. You’ve got to be tender and warm, and you’ve got to put absolutely no pressure on her at all.

By following these simple steps, you’re going to make her feel really comfortable, and you’re going to be able to get her to explore herself even more. She’ll surrender herself to you, in time, but you need to be very patient – because the other guys, the Mr. P & Ds, were not patient. It’s your turn to be patient now.

David: So here I am, sitting here, and talking to a good friend of mine who has never appeared on the blog but is an avid reader and really wanted to share her thoughts with all the men and women. Today she really wanted to help the guys out on the blog, and we’re going to talk about the art of seduction, using hot oil massage and foot massage. She’ll give you her step-by-step way of turning a woman on, just by hanging out with her and watching TV. All women need to pay attention to this as well…you can use this seduction on the men.

So let me ask you a question. You’re sitting, watching a movie with a guy, and the guy wants to seduce you. What would be the best way – instead of him just grabbing you – to seduce you when you’re watching television?

Jessica: I would say that a good place to start would be to slowly massage me, starting with my hands or the back of my neck, my head, or my feet – if you touch my feet, you’re in for sure!

David: So should the guy get some foot lotions and other things to like rub you during the movie?

Jessica: Absolutely! If he did that, I would feel like a princess, I would feel pampered; I am a sucker for massage. If you massage me long enough, you’re definitely getting some action!

David: And how long – a lot of guys don’t know how long they need to massage a woman. A lot of guys do the obligatory five-minute massage and that’s it. How long do you think is good?

Jessica: At least 35 minutes!

David: So would you say that during the whole movie it would be good to kind of massage your feet, maybe massage your legs, maybe massage your hands?

Jessica: Yeah! If you start off with some nice small caressing, and then say, “I would like to give you a massage, do you want one?” of course I’m going to say yes!

David: So they’ve given you a massage while you’re watching the TV, and now the movie is over. Now it’s time to take it to the bedroom. How would you describe the perfect way to continue this to keep you in the mood you’ve been in during the movie?

Jessica: Saying something like, “hey, this was just a warm up massage, I’ll give you the real thing, with massage oil or lotion,” in fact, David has told me about this great candle that he uses when he has a special guest.

David: The candle is called Jimmy Jane. Go to www.jimmyjane.com and check it out. It is a candle that comes in six different fragrances, and all of the fragrances are very sexual in nature.

Jessica: That sounds amazing if we were not sitting in this coffee shop right now i would jump you:)

David: Thanks and I always wondered what it would be like if you jumped me:) Ok…back to the candles here. They’re all very sexual and sensual in nature. There is a spout on the candle so you can actually pour the hot oil and wax all over your lover’s body. You light the candle, and then pour the oil on them, but the oil is not really hot when it touches them…

Jessica: Wow that is super hot. I once had a guy drip hot wax all over my body.

David: How did it make you feel?

Jessica: Hot! It’s really sexy, and sexual, and it very much put me in the mood. It was great because the fragrance of that candle that he used was very strong and it definitely helps arouse your senses – I’m getting aroused right now just thinking about it!

David: I think you were born aroused!! So you love when there’s a lot of hot oil, a lot of touching, and a lot of rubbing?

Jessica: YES!

David: You like the constant attention…

So let’s say the guy is massaging you – this is something that a lot of men don’t understand – many men will perform oral sex but they don’t really understand how to do the right kind of oral sex. It’s not just the way you lick! Share with the guys what they need to be doing with their hands in order to get a woman to climax really strong.

Jessica: You need to start off by stroking our legs at the same time, and I like it when the guy looks up at me. I also like it when… well, I don’t know what else to call it besides human vibrator! When a guy, like, hums? What would you call it?

David: You mean like vibrate your mouth?

Jessica: Yes, vibrate your mouth – that’s exactly what I’m trying to say. When a guy vibrates his mouth on me – that feels really good. And then you should slowly take one of your fingers and put it inside of me. Then give it a little bit more pressure, and do it a little bit deeper and move it around inside a bit more, to try to touch my walls and find my G-spot. That’s really hot.

David: And so let me ask you a question – there’s one hand inside, and the way the tongue is moving the other hand should be using those oils, and massaging what? Where should they be rubbing?

Jessica: All over! My inner thigh, my stomach, my hips, my breasts, my neck – and stop every once in awhile and talk to me, too. Keep using your finger, but you can talk and tell me how good I taste, and how turned on you are, and how much you want me – all of that good stuff!

David: So if a guy does all that, how much harder are you going to cum, and how much more are you going to desire him?

Jessica: Both, very much more so! I’m going to cum super-hard, and first of all, I’m going to pull you over and return the favor! I’m also going to want to come back for more… and more and more!

David: So for a guy to get really good head from a woman, he should pay attention to all of these little things. If he does this with every woman he’s with, he should be getting some amazing head, shouldn’t he?

Jessica: Absolutely. And you know, what goes around comes around – literally!

David: I agree, and I have to tell you, a lot of guys think that they’re doing it right just by licking her clit, but there are definitely different pressures you can use to lick her clit. A lot of women like things differently, as well – there are some women that love hard pressure at the top, there are some women who love it super hard and fast towards the end.

Jessica: I like it when am man tells me to spread my lips for them and hold them too.

David: Yeah that’s very erotic. Tell me why you think that’s so erotic, so men can learn.

Jessica: Well, I’ve only had one man tell me that! I think it’s naughty. I like to be bossed around, maybe not everyone would, but I do, and it’s all in the way a man says it. It really makes me feel like i am with a strong powerful man. I am not talking being mean or anything, but strong erotic talk and telling me what to do sexually is super super hot!

David: So you like being bossed around?

Jessica: Yes!

To learn more about what women really want in bed you need to check out my Girls Tell All Series Secrets Of Sex. Click here to find out even more about what they desire.

Todays video is all about how to become a master at the sly smile. Did you know that this sly smile worked on a very famous actress that I met the other day. She may have been Paris Hilton or she may have been Kate Hudson.

But only I know who she was and the smile and conversation was a trip….this works on all women whether a famous celebrity or the girl next door!