A lot of us are still living our parents’ decisions and our parents’ wishes as we formulate our own—myself included. My father’s belief systems have plagued me my entire life.

What I’m about to admit to you is the hardest things I’ve ever written in my entire life.  But last night’s game should have been my fourth Super Bowl triumph.  See, my old man, he was the guy that would always thought it was funny to do the opposite.

So he was living in New York, I think, in the ’50s.  And of course the Giants were a good team in the ’50s; they were an NFL powerhouse before the AFL and the NFL became one league.  They were an NFL powerhouse.  They won a couple of championships.

The Jets were an expansion team.  So my father decided to root for the expansion team because he thought, “yeah, I’ll just go against everybody else” because he loved to argue with people.  That was his whole point.

When I was a little kid I always wore a football jersey and that jersey was the Titans. (Because the Jets used to be the called the Titans back then.)  And I’ve been a Jets fan, as all of you know, my entire life.  Pity me.  The Jets don’t win anything.

But my father was halfway cool.  He had sort of been a Giant fan.

This would have been my fourth Super Bowl win.  Yesterday, I would have been jumping up and down when Eli Manning won the game.  I would have been excited-yet-annoyed that Ahmad Bradshaw didn’t take the knee at the one and kill the clock, instead of giving Brady another chance.

But you know what, congratulations to the Giants.  It shows what good coaching will do and it shows what determination will do.  I don’t even want to begin to tell you about the other curse my dad gave me, the one that’s even worse than the Giants curse: I’m a Mets fan.  I don’t know, eight, nine World Series’ the Yankees have won in my lifetime compared to the Mets’ two measly World Series and mediocre play every single year.

It’s time to get rid of our parents’ programming.  It’s time to start living our own lives.  Go Giants.  Go Yankees.  See, the curse of my dad is now officially over, because as of now I’m a Giants fan.  And next baseball season, I’m all about A-Rod, Mariano Rivera, and Derek Jeter.

Go Yankees.

Fantasy football season is around the corner. Although not for Shogo, because we learned from the Shannon Sharpe blog that Shogo throws like a girl and now I’m never going to ever, ever let him live that down.

Anyway, today’s blog is not about why Shogo can’t throw a football. What this is about is whether or not this summer was the magic summer for you. Man, fall is right around the corner. Did summer happen the way you thought it was going to happen? Did you have that summer magic that you thought or you were hoping for? Did the summer time share, the house on the lake, the house on the beach, the parties and the barbeques, the things that you planned out, did the magic happen on those summer nights? Were they your rescue from the year? Or, as you’re sitting here right now reading this blog, are you realizing that you still lack some of the social skills you need to really make the magic happen?

My mom is funny, she always wants to move. She always says to herself, I’m going to move, and things are going to be different when I move. When she would say that I used to say to her, “No Mom, you’re still bringing yourself there with you.” And she would laugh. But it’s the truth.

Who Throws A Better Football; Kardashian or Shogo?

So when you showed up to all the barbeques, while you’re planning your big Labor Day weekend—remember that you’re still bringing yourself. You may be going to some amazing events and doing some really fun activities, but you’re still bringing the fears, the excuses, you’re still bringing that old person with you. To me, when you have great social skills that you really work hard on, you can have fun standing at a bus stop. You don’t need the magic of summer. Every day can be magic for you. Every day can be this amazing day that yields great results. Every night can be that magic summer night. So if you’re right now staring at your summer and realizing that it’s gone by and it didn’t deliver the goods that you thought, then I strongly suggest that you craft a plan, and make a commitment, to make these changes this fall.

You’ve got to work on yourself, you’ve got to be in touch everything that’s around you, you’ve got to get rid of the monkey chatter. Keep up with the blog, take the messages to heart and use them every day. And if that’s not enough and you can’t do it on your own, come to one of my events that are coming up. We’ve got a Communication Seminar in Chicago the week of September 10th, and I’ve got an intensive live-with-me program and a boot camp in London at the end of October. Shogo will make sure you don’t have to throw a football if you don’t want to.

But it’s time you made these changes.

Because let me tell you something, fall is coming up. Then the holiday season. New Year’s resolutions are right around the corner, and guess what you’re going to be saying? The same thing you said about where you were going to be this summer. Only now you’re going to change it to January 1, 2012.

I have no clue who is in first place in each division of baseball.

Basketball creates zero interest from me and I will always leave soccer to the my friends in Europe.

As for me nothing beats the NFL.

I am an avid Fantasy football player as well and this year I am stacked to make a run for the Fantasy Bowl!!

Today I am going to put my money where my mouth is and trash talk a bit.

Heres who I like this year.

AFC
Ravens
Chargers
Colts
Jets

Wild Cards
Texans
Patriots

NFC
Cowboys
Packers
Saints
49ers

Wild Cards
Falcons
Vikings

So what team will be this years surprise and make a run that falls short.

In the AFC I like the Raiders.

In the NFC

I all about the Eagles coming up just a bit short.

So who wins it all this year?

The Ravens will play the Packers in the Super Bowl and Aaron Rodgers will throw 2 4th quarter touchdowns in a comeback win!

How are we going to relate this blog to dating?

Today were not.

So lets get some fun football talk going today. Who do all of you like this year?

My football record stands on its own at 12-1. 12-1 is pretty good I think. The Titans are my only blemish. So, with that, I am going to go out on a limb and tell you which teams I’m picking this week

.

The Giants are going to dominate over the high school quarterback led Oakland Raiders. The Vikings will be victorious over the Rams and its equally inept quarterback. Really, the Rams aren’t rams at all; they’re more like goats.

The Ravens will beat the Bengals. I’m not buying all the hype about the Bengals yet.

Here’s another tough pick. The Eagles will beat the Buccaneers. Let me tell you, Jon Gruden is laughing every single day. They fired him? Are you kidding me?

Braylon Edwards will catch a pass and lead the Jets to a victory over the finless Dolphins. The Patriots will win big.

Denver is going down this week. Is that not the worst 4-0 team you’ve ever seen?

Dante Culpepper will wish he was still on the bench after the Steelers destroy him on Sunday. As for the Buffalo vs Cleveland game, really who cares? It’s not even worth predicting.

As for Dallas, Tony Romo better start learning that finding the end zone is not as easy as finding one of his celebrity girlfriends. Maybe he should go back and run one of his family’s rib businesses. Tony Romo notwithstanding, Dallas will squeak a win out this week.

What is it about ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends? They seem to somehow know the exact wrong time to text you.

Here you are, about to have sex with your partner, and all of a sudden there it is. You hear that certain beep telling you that you have just received a text message.

You think to yourself, “Oh man, who is texting me? It’s really late. Who is texting me?” You get nervous about those 1:00 a.m. texts that come in.

It’s nerve-racking, because the only one who should be texting you at 1:00 a.m. is the person with whom you are laying in bed at that very moment. So you keep wondering who texted, until you can’t stand it anymore and you instinctively check your phone like Pavlov’s Dog.

At first you are relieved and you think, “Whew! Thank God it’s not me.” Then all of a sudden you notice that it is your partner’s phone that is blinking. You both have the same “beep” for incoming text messages, and the beep that you heard is theirs (not yours).

Now you think to yourself, “Oh man, I know EXACTLY who just texted them. It’s the ex.”

So here you are laying in bed, either just about to have sex or just having had great sex, and you have to have “the ex talk.” You may have already had the ex talk before several times. When that ex intrudes into your personal space at 1:00 a.m., however, that ex talk goes into a whole other dimension.

You will lay there wondering what your partner is thinking and feeling. You will want to know what the emotions are that they are experiencing, and how they are feeling at that moment about their ex.

Ex’s are a very powerful influence in a relationship. Even though you are with somebody new and you are sharing amazing feelings together, you will still wonder what your partner is thinking and feeling about their ex when a text comes in like that.

You tell yourself that you are not going to let your paranoid mind take over. After all, it is you who is laying next to then (and not the ex). You are the one with whom they are now hanging out and sharing feelings.

Regardless, you have that ex talk right there and then at 1:00 a.m. You are wondering about it, and your partner really needs to let out whatever is on their mind about it.

You need to be 100% okay with whatever they say, because the topic needs to come up and your partner needs to get out what is on their mind. Eventually, your partner is going to need to confront the ex issue, because at some point the ex needs to stop holding on to whatever part of that old relationship to which they are clinging.

The key is that your partner needs to feel that there is an open space where they can talk to you no matter what is going on and no matter what they have to say. They need to feel like they can talk to you anytime and about anything, because building a relationship is all about open lines of communication. That is the only way that two people are going to get close.

I am always fine with the ex talk because I like clean slates. Both people need to have clean slates when you’re in a relationship, and sometimes you need to clean those slates together to get there.

You’ve got to deal with things. Relationships are all about supporting one another.

Now on today’s non-football related topic…

Let’s talk about relationships and, specifically, about being stubborn in a relationship. Let’s talk about giving in when you’re in a relationship.

When you’re in a relationship, you will have arguments. You will sometimes argue about something even when you know the other person has a valid point. Your ego wants to “win” and be right, so you’ll get into an argument instead of really thinking about what the other person was saying.

During every argument, there will come a time when someone needs to give in . . . but it seems like everyone always wants the other person to be the one to do it.
Each person will think, “I don’t want to hug them first” or “I don’t want to make the first move.”

How many nights when you’re in a relationship has your bed felt like it has an imaginary dividing line down the middle? You might accidentally touch knees or ankles in the middle of the night, and you jump because you don’t want to make the first move.

I mean, it’s crazy how many people are stubborn. I, myself, am very stubborn. I hate apologizing. I have always hated apologizing.

I have always hated making the first move. My mindset was always, “Why should I make the first move. They are the ones who brought the issue up.” The fact of the matter is that relationships tend to get very sour very quickly if both of you are being stubborn.

How many nights do you want to sleep on opposite ends of the bed? How many nights do you want to look at your lover and realize that what you’re fighting about is really ridiculous?

Saying you are sorry is really easy. Saying you are sorry and really meaning it is sometimes harder. So I think you need to really realize what your arguments are really about in your relationship, and start to see that it’s really not worth it 90% of the time.

Check out this great new in field approach video we shot last week. Its all about how to approach a group of women,

I had every intention of getting this blog out to you on Friday – but between moving and being in constant meetings with my team brainstorming, creating and … let’s say gently critiquing each other’s ideas for the early 2009 launch of my new community site that I’m designing for my members — I don’t know if I’m coming or going half the time!

So my apologies on the tardiness of this blog, but hopefully ‘better late than never’ applies here …

I have recorded a short VIDEO where I share my thoughts and my vision for this new community site. I also give a little preview for what this new site is going to be all about.

So definitely check it out (if for no other reason than to see what I’m like in the middle of a move …). See it here:

OK then … now onto today’s blog.

As many of you know I am a big NFL fan. And no, this is not going to be a blog talking about how well I’m doing in my fantasy football pool (although I am doing quite well if anyone was curious).

I do think that there are some dating lessons that can be learned from football – and as this is a football Sunday, I thought this was a great day to talk about that.

Let me ask you a question. Have you ever gone out with a friend who is so good with the opposite sex that you become intimidated even to open your mouth? Then when you do open your mouth you feel that what you’re about to say could potentially be the wrong thing . . . so you say nothing. You don’t say a word.

I wrote a blog almost a year talking about how impressive Eli Manning’s success was in light of all the low expectations and comparisons to his super-famous brother Peyton that he was up against in making his own name in the NFL.

I also talked about how despite everything that made it more difficult for Eli Manning to succeed, that he never quit. He never let what other people said or did get to him. What he did was manage his game. He took control of his own destiny and his own success.

In your dating life, you need to take control of your destiny and decide that you are going to create what you want for yourself … and that you will do what it takes to get there. It’s about being true to yourself and staying on course.

Eli never quit . . . ever. He kept going and going and going. He decided that he was going to ignore all the critics, and that he would become the best quarterback he could be. After last year’s Super Bowl, I think there can be no doubt that this can create the greatest of success stories.

So when you’re going out to meet members of the opposite sex, stop comparing yourself to ANYONE and stop listening to the critics. Keep practicing. If you throw an interception (which in the dating world would mean getting rejected), keep flirting and keep talking.

I guarantee that if you work on your gamesmanship, you’ll get to the Super Bowl of dating . . . fast!

Have a fantastic Sunday!

I just wanted to share some thoughts with you today on the art of follow up.

The key is to follow up with everybody. This keeps you in a very social environment – it keeps you very socially engaged all day long.

Women should do the same thing; women should do follow up as well. Many women will not follow up with the guys that they have talked to, so in turn, the guys don’t follow up with them. You want to be able to go out, play, and just have a good time.

Even if you’re not interested in the person, following up is important because other people are always looking at you. Do you see how people have noticed us since we’ve been out here? You can see how people are checking us out, how people are stopping when they see us having fun.

If you’re walking through a mall and you see a woman that you’ve talked to before but aren’t really that attracted to, you can follow up and say, “what are you doing? Are you making laps around the mall?”

By either saying something playful or saying something based on what you remember from your previous conversation, the two other women that are walking in your direction will notice that – they will notice the woman smiling at you. This will give you instant social proof. Everyone wants to talk to the fun person. Nobody wants to be approached by the boring guy.

You’re basically building up your social energy. This is why I constantly stress how important it is to talk to EVERYBODY. You have to make yourself available – emotionally, mentally and physically.

This is where most guys make the biggest mistake – they wait and only talk to the one person that they are attracted to. Women make this same mistake. If you do this, you’re going to be so nervous that you won’t be able to actually speak to that person!

The longer you wait between conversations with people of the opposite sex, the bigger it gets built up and the more the monkey chatter increases in your head. You’ll get more nervous and the experience will become more traumatic.

Client: One of the techniques I use to help relieve the social tension or anxiety is much like you do – I compliment people or find something interesting to comment on. Once I’ve done that, I just let it go. Would you say that is a good tactic?

David: Compliments and comments are great because they have no outcome derivative. This is what we talked about earlier. Paying someone a wonderful compliment, like telling them they look great, basically opens up your energy. It’s like good karma.

You can just walk over to someone and say, “wow, that dress looks great on you” and don’t expect anything from them. You should never expect anything from anybody.

Client: It was like that girl with the tattoo last night. It was like the throw and go.

David: Exactly! The throw and go – that’s great terminology. This will keep up your social momentum, and it will also keep you in a good frame of mind. If you’re in a good mindset, you’ll feel good and you’ll stay open to opportunities.

Once again – the longer you wait between conversations the more difficult it becomes. You will start to lose your energy.

It’s a long day. If you think about it, going out and meeting people all day long is intense. By 7:00 at night, you’re exhausted. Let’s see what you guys feel like tonight at 8:00 when we sit down to have dinner. You’ll be beat.

This takes so much energy. You’re observing everything and you’re constantly aware. You’re fully awake all day long. Most people sleep through the day.

I had this talk with my cleint the other day and thought you would enjoy it….so what are you thoughts today?