Christmas is right around the corner, there are a lot of Holiday parties going on right now, and a lot of you younger guys are home for the holidays going out to the bars and seeing old friends…

So you’re out at night doing exactly what I always tell you to do.  You’re enjoying yourself, making your rounds talking to everyone, working the room, never trying to chase or pick up women and letting the ones you’re attracted to come to you.

You’re talking to everyone, having a good time, and pretty soon great things start happening, just like I said they would.  And just like that, you start talking to a REALLY hot woman.

But then the worst thing happens…She’s a total raging bitch.

You know the kind.  She kind of looks at you, raises an eyebrow, and says something really obnoxious, like:

“Um, why are you talking to me?”

“My boyfriend is in the bathroom you know…”

“Yeah whatever, that’s nice… BYE little man!”

What Are You Going To Say To Me?

So in your own head, you’re furious.  What a bitch, you think.  I mean, who does she think she is?  I was just talking and having a good time.  It’s not like I was hitting on her!  Does she really think she’s that great?  She’s not the prize, I’m the prize, you think to yourself.

You want to say something.  Really show her up and give her a piece of your mind.  But now she’s talking to someone else so you can’t just go up and interrupt them.  So you walk away feeling rejected.

And you can’t get that one interaction out of your head, and it’s just ruined your night.

If this is you, you need to change your mindset.  Mindset really is the most important thing.  Because while it is true that you are the prize, you are only the prize if you really believe it.

So here’s what I would do in that situation.

If she comes at me with a really ridiculous statement, I like to be a little immature myself at times, so I’ll play along and be equally ridiculous back.

If she asks me why I’m talking to her, I’ll be honest.  If I thought she was really hot and I wanted to get to know her to see what she was like as a person, that’s exactly what I’ll say.  And I’ll say it with a big grin and a twinkle in my eye.

If she tells me she has a boyfriend, I’ll say something like, “Congratulations, that’s quite the accomplishment.”  Or if she says her boyfriend is in the bathroom, I’ll ask her, “Number 1 or Number 2?  I just want to know how much time I have to flirt with you!”  (I think that’s from a movie somewhere.)

I don’t censor myself and I like to have fun talking to everyone. That’s just my personality. But I also believe that life is all about the people you surround yourself with, and I don’t surround myself with stuck-up, arrogant people.

And after a quick exchange I’ll just walk away.  I’ll smile and say, “Well that was an ‘interesting’ conversation, have a nice night,” and I’m on to the next person.

And that’s it.  A woman who is blatantly rude to me has just selected herself right out of the pool of people I want to spend my time talking to.

And that’s the most important thing you can learn.  You can come up with all the comebacks and cocky little lines you want (it works on some immature girls because, to be honest, only an immature girl would say something like that), but the bottom line is that you need to learn how to dismiss her.  You need to learn how to walk away feeling great about being the better person, and forget about that interaction immediately.

If a woman says something to you that makes you upset, ask yourself why you’re getting so upset.  It’s not your problem that she treats perfect strangers like shit.  No need to try to overcome that attitude.  The last thing you need in your life is a person with a negative attitude who has decided it’s ok to treat people like that.

The way I think is like this: I don’t need to win every time.  I don’t need to teach her a lesson.  There are tons and tons of women out there for me to meet who are both attractive and friendly.  I don’t need to say, “Ha!  You were wrong about me, in your face bitch!”  That’s all ego talking.  I don’t need to change her opinion about me, because I don’t really have anything to prove to her.

It’s all about practicing abundance in every aspect of your life.  An abundant mindset is crucial to developing an attractive personality.  You don’t have anything to prove to anybody, so start acting that way.

A lot of the time when men will talk to women, a woman might be interested but she’s also very nervous. So men will often not end up asking those women out due to what her body language is communicating.

When they’re nervous, a lot of women will have one foot in one direction and the other foot in another direction. Even though they’re smiling, their body language will say to a man that she’s half in and half out, which a man will interpret as disinterest.

He won’t be interpreting it consciously. It will be done subconsciously. This will be his interpretation nonetheless.

When you’re interested in a man, you need to hold your ground. You need to look directly at him, face him and smile. You can’t have one foot in one direction or a shoulder turned off in another direction.

Another thing that women do that absolutely does not work, is that they will have their arms folded. Even though they’re interested in a guy, they’ll have their arms folded when you’re talking to him. This is a defensive pose, not an open pose.

What you need to do instead, is to leave your arms open. Either have them at your side, or have them facing the guy (or use your hands when you’re talking). The minute you fold your arms, you are basically telling a guy — even if it’s on a very subconscious level — that you’re not interested.

Your eye contact is also really important. When you look down at the ground or off in the distance because you’re nervous, you are telling a guy you are not interested. Even if you are interested, when you look away from that person what he will process in his brain is that you are looking at someone else and isn’t interested.

So, once again, eye contact is really important. If you are uncomfortable with constant eye contact, then you can meet his eyes, look down and then come back and meet his eyes again. Just don’t look off in the distance, that will always tell a guy that you are not interested.

Another mistake that women make when talking to a man is fidgeting. Fidgeting with things when you’re talking to somebody tells him that you’re very nervous. You might be nervous because you like him, but a guy will likely interpret your fidgeting as a sign that you’re bored.

It’s amazing how much these little things communicate to the opposite sex. Being more aware of your body language in these situations will really help you get more men to ask you out (and, by extension, get you more dates).

If you want to know more about what you are saying to men with your body language, then have a friend go out with you and film you. Have your friend watch what you’re doing, how you’re reacting to things and how you flirt. Then you can watch not only yourself, but also see things the way a guy does.

It’s really funny. One time a woman did this and sent me the video. In the video she was flirting with a guy, but kept looking away because she was scared, nervous and intimidated by the guy.

When she sent me the video, she said to me that she didn’t know why the guy hadn’t asked her out. When I watched the video, I knew why the minute she looked away and the guy turned around to see at whom she was looking.

She was interested in that guy, and she thought she was showing interest to him. It’s amazing what your body language and you eye contact says, as compared to what your voice says. Be more aware of that, and you’ll see yourself having better flirting sessions, better dates, and a better dating life.

Now let me ask you a question… Do you want to know where are all the marriage-minded men are?

I thought you did… All you need to do is click here to find out where.

I love cramming all the guys into my car. Usually I have to drive around with Daphne or Sonja.

I also love when a guy at a Bootcamp comes up with a scenario he thinks is going to be a huge challenge for me. Nothing is a big challenge for me anymore, at least in the area of meeting women (and the emotions and concepts behind it).

It’s something that I’ve mastered, and it’s easy for me. I so enjoy now showing guys how it can be equally easy for them.

So it’s so great when I get challenged by one of the guys and am able to give them an easy solution. Then the biggest challenge is for that guy to actually go out and do what I say.

As you all know, being successful at meeting women is all about being in the moment, creating a moment and being real. So Adam, who came all the way from Australia to attend a Bootcamp here in L.A., had one of these “challenges” for me.

He said to me, “You know, I’m a workout guy. I go to the gym and I see women there, and it’s like they break my routine. It drives me bananas. There she is — on the treadmill, on the shoulder press. Here I am trying to make my body buff so all the women will think I’m a big guy and a stud.”

I told him I remembered that, because I was a big gym guy in my 20s too. I’d see that hottie and I just couldn’t concentrate any more. I’d be doing my sets, see her, and then I couldn’t concentrate at all because I’d be thinking to myself, “How can I continue to work out and get to know her?”

Well, once again, it’s all about the power of observation in this situation. How many times have you seen this woman before at the gym? What does she normally do for her workout? To whom have you seen her talking? Does she take any certain classes (like yoga)?

Ask yourself these questions. Once you know the answers, then you will have your approach.

Say you’ve seen that she uses the shoulder press every time she is at the gym, she likes to work her legs out hard, and you’ve seen her coming out of yoga class. Right there you have three different ways you can approach her.

You can walk over to her and say, “You know, I see you here all the time coming out of yoga class. How are the yoga classes here?” By saying this, you have opened up a line of communication.

You will then find out which nights she takes yoga, and then of course you will go and twist yourself into a pretzel on one of the nights she goes. You’ve already established a relationship – first contact.

Maybe you have noticed that she is aways hustling on the treadmill or the Stairmaster. So what do you do in that situation?

You get on the Stairmaster or treadmill next to her. She probably has her antisocial device (aka her iPod earphones) in her ears. So you point to them, and have her pull those out of her ears.

Then you look at her and say, “I’ll race you. Where do you want to go? You’ve already got a head start on me, so let me catch up.” Then you start running really fast to be a little comical. She will start cracking up, and you will start a conversation with her.

How do I know this? It’s funny, but I can hear you saying “Are you sure this is going to work?” I did this throughout my 20s, 30s and 40s.

Am I sure this is going to work? I am as sure as I know the sun will come out tomorrow (like Annie said in that play). I am as sure as I know I will have a morning hard-on. I am as sure as I know that I will be thirsty when I wake up. It will work.

Here is another thing you can do at the gym. Let’s say she is working out on the machines. You can look at her and say, “Man, you’re breaking a sweat. I don’t know if I can do that much weight.” You just be funny.

Then you ask if you can work in with her. When you get on the machine, you squeeze really hard pretending to be having a hard time with her weight and say, “One . . . that’s all I can do. You’re buff.” Have a good time with her and you will get her laughing and talking.

CLICK HERE to find out the EASY way I approach women at some of the other places you go to every day.

Anyway, we were talking about my friend Behar. A lot of you know Behar from the Men’s Mastery Series. He has become something of a legend from that.

He’s actually the man who looked at me at age nineteen and said, “You just have no clue. Do you?” It was an eye-opening moment for me at that time (being age nineteen), because I really didn’t have a clue.

Behar is a basically an “average guy” — about 5’9″ or 5’10″, is kind of going bald and has the “Jewish nose.” Whenever we would go out, he would always kind of throw me under the bus — and this is something every one of you can do when you’re out trying to meet women.

After seeing him do this about a thousand times, I can give you the sequence of events in perfect detail. Here is how this would go down every single time.

He and I would go to a restaurant. The waitress would come over and, of course, would start flirting with me instead of him.

Behar would immediately look at the waitress and say, “Oh, you’re so typical. You go for the solid, good-looking guy just like women always do.” Then the waitress would feel the need to defend herself, and would look at him and say, “No, no that’s not me at all.”

Behar would respond, “What are you talking about? You ignored me like I was not even sitting here. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever thought about going for short, fat, bald Jewish guys? Do you have any idea what you’re missing?”

The waitress would start laughing. Then Behar would tell the waitress to leave and get our order.

When the waitress returned, she would once again start to flirt with me. Behar would say, “Have you given any consideration at all to what I talked to you about? Are you a woman who doesn’t want to expand her horizons, and just continues to do the same things over and over again? You know that is the definition of insanity.”

At this point, her ears were perked up and her mind was racing. Of course, she would always seem to say, “So tell me about short, fat, bald, Jewish guys.” Behar would then look at her deadpan — right in the eyes — and say, “You’ll just have to find out for yourself.”

I mean, it was brilliant. It is one of those things that either works or it doesn’t. The bottom line is that it worked half the time — half the women would go for it and the other half would go back to what they originally wanted, i.e., me.

Anybody can do this. It doesn’t just work if you are a “bald, fat, short, Jewish guy.” It can work if you are average looking, or of a particular ethnicity (e.g., of the “Asian persuasion”), or if you’re super tall or super skinny or whatever it may be.

If, for example, you are of the “Asian persuasion” (as one of my Bootcamp students once termed himself), you could say something like this: “Let me ask you a question. have you ever had a guy of the Asian persuasion? I mean, come on, do you always go for the tall white guy? Have you ever tried Asian? You know, we come in a lot of different flavors.”

There are so many different ways that you can do this. There are so many different ways to have fun with this.

Women love to respond to a challenge. Doing this is calling them out on their shit.

People love to be called out on their shit. They love to be challenged.

So how are you going to challenge yourself to challenge a woman? That’s the real question I have for you today.

I have never been to the Olympics, but a client of mine thought it would be a great weekend to do some one-on-one coaching. He has been right. It’s been great so far. There are people everywhere!

So, now, what are all of you going to do on this mid-winter Saturday?

How about checking out today’s video to get some ideas about meeting people at one place I always think is great to meet people.

It’s not Whole Foods . . . so no wisecracks

Like the idea of being able to approach and talk to women in places like this that you go to every single day? I tell you how to approach and exactly what to say to women in these places – CLICK HERE to get this.

Women who have a lot of masculine energy need to dress more sexy. They need to put themselves out there a little bit more.

Do you know what masculine energy is?

Masculine energy in a woman can be a woman who is very successful in her career. She competes with men all day long, so she’s basically masculine. She’s battling men all day long in the business world, so she’s masculine.

She’s looking for a raise. She has to fight her boss, so she’s masculine.

When she goes on a date, she takes that same masculine with her, and takes the guy’s balls and chops them into a million little pieces. When a man is trying to flirt with a woman on a date who has a lot of masculine energy, she basically ends up going into interrogation mode.

She will talk to him the same way she would talk when she’s trying to negotiate a business deal. She doesn’t bring out her feminine energy.

So what is feminine energy and what does it look like on a date? Feminine energy is dressing sexy, flirting with the guy, leaning in when he talks and looking directly in his eyes. Those are one part of it.

Another part of it is learning how to throw a bone to a guy every so often, and then making sure he jumps on it. Learn how to give a man clues, and give him the opportunity pick up on them and take the lead.

That’s how a woman should act around a man. Throw a bone then allow him to lead. You want him to take action.

You don’t want to be the one taking the action all the time. Every time you take action, you emasculate him.

I mean, most guys may not initially see it like that, but eventually it will deteriorate the type of relationship you have. If you want a “guy’s guy,” you have to give him a bone every so often and make sure he picks up on it.

Now I know there are some people reading this right now who are mistakenly thinking that I am telling women to be passive and submissive to men. I am actually saying the opposite.

A big part of feminine energy is being open. It is also being the decision-maker in terms of choosing men with whom you want to be willing at times to be led. It’s allowing yourself to surrender at appropriate moments.

So how do you develop your feminine energy, and feel amazing and sexy in your own skin? Take a look at your body type.  Take a look at the type of woman you are.  

Start looking through magazines which contain pictures of women with your body type. If you’re a little heavier, look at magazines that have heavier women in there so you can see how they dress sexy.  

Go to a store and get a makeover.  Find a way that you can express your sexuality.  

Men are attracted to all body types. The key thing here, though, is that men are attracted to sexy women of all body types.  

So women really need to explore that a little bit more, so that they can use their feminine energy when they start flirting with men. Doing that will get you noticed so much more — and you, as a woman, will also start to have a lot more fun in your dating life.

A good salesperson will get on the phone and talk to the person on the other end, “Hey man, how are you doing today? Are you having a great day?” He or she will start bantering back and forth.

For you, no sales pitches are necessary. Just flirt. If you think about it, we really flirt all day long.

You have to create that banter – whether you’re a salesperson or just looking for a date. Life is about cold calling. You never know what someone is going to say to you, so you have to start off with some type of friendly banter (instead of just going straight in for the kill!)

You think, I really want to ask her out, so you just walk over to her and say, “Hey, do you want to go out?” It doesn’t work that way. You have to start with friendly banter.

So how do you do this friendly banter? How do you cold call your way through life and succeed?

You succeed by picking up on the clues in your environment. You observe the clues of people’s body language. You observe the things that people are doing and experiencing. These are the things you make comments on. To bond with someone, you have to share something. You must share something about yourself to get that connection with someone.

Here is a good exercise to learn how to cold call in your life: think to yourself about how you can open this specific person based on your observations of what’s going on? How can you have the best cold call there is?

Think about who the best cold callers are in the business world – they are the ones that don’t care so much about the outcome. They just whip through as many as they can in an hour.

When you’re out there trying to meet women, you want to try to talk to everybody. You want to get through as many people as you can so you get warmed up. If you’re not sufficiently warmed up, every cold call you make is going to be very uncomfortable.

Start looking at your life as one giant cold call!

But anyway, then we went for a hike, we’ve probably written about 30 blogs today, we did some audio – we did a new audio confession, another one of my Girls Tell All series tonight – which is a very interesting product that is coming out that I’ll tell you about in a week or two.

Yakub and Khiem were asking me tonight how have I become so good at dirty talk. And really, I love dirty talk. And let’s not say ‘dirty,’ I’d rather use the term ‘naughty.’

So how did I get so good at naughty talk?

I have to thank my college girlfriend. Not Amy Alterman, Amy Alterman was my college girlfriend junior year. I used to call her FISP – which stood for Flicking Itching Scratching and Picking – she was definitely very neurotic, and I teased her, of course. I’ve always been teasing women since I was a child!

But I have to thank Ellen Weinberger. Ellen Weinberger was this hot, sexy girl from Livingston, New Jersey, that I went to American University with. And Ellen Weinberger – every guy in school wanted her. I met her when I was a sophomore and she was a freshman. She had one of those incredible bodies – 5’3”, natural big breasts, thin little body, brunette, big eyes, and she just reeked of sex appeal.

She was one of the sexiest girls you’ve ever seen. Every guy wanted her in school, but the problem was: she had a boyfriend.

Her boyfriend was this guy named Norm. Norm walked with a limp because he got into some car wreck, so we called him the Limping Boyfriend from Brooklyn (of course, being immature 19-year-olds, that was about the most clever thing we could come up with.) Ellen and I had instant chemistry, but she had this boyfriend.
I used to go to her room, we used to catch a buzz, and we used to talk dirty to each other. We would literally sit there and tell each other what we would do to each other if we were both single. So I would leave her room, after getting her all hot, and she’d go sleep with her boyfriend (because every weekend she’d go to Brooklyn to see Norm.) I’d go out and have sex with some random little college babe that I’d tried to hook up with – sometimes I’d get lucky, sometimes I wouldn’t.

At the end of the weekend, I would always see Ellen again, and we’d catch a buzz, and I’d look directly into her eyes and tell her, flat out, that I’d thought about her while I was sleeping with someone else. And I’d tell her about the things I’d want to do to her, and how great it would be if she’d just dump Norm.

This went on for two years. We just talked dirty to each other for two years! It was unbelievable. It was the most freeing, fantastic experience. I couldn’t have her because she kept dating Norm, but the conversations got deeper, more erotic, and more sexual – I knew everything about her sexually.

Then, halfway through my senior year, I went to Florida and came back. It was 1984. January 1984 – the start of my last semester of college. That was the year that old man coats were in style – if you remember those long woolen coats you could get at thrift stores.

I bought an old man coat, I had a little suntan, and I walked into Ellen’s apartment. It was on a Thursday night – we used to go out on Thursday nights, we’d catch a buzz and then go out and drink some more. We used to just flirt and tease each other, and then I’d pick up another girl and she’d go to see Norm the next day.

I remember picking her up, and doing our usual thing, flirting, teasing, talking dirty to each other, and then I dropped her off at her apartment. I asked her if she was going to see Norm that weekend and she said she was actually going to stay around here. I said, alright, cool, and told her we should get together. She said alright, and then she grabbed me, and she kissed me!

Now this was like two years of dirty talk culminating in this fantastic kiss. I was kissing Ellen Weinberger, the girl that everybody at school wanted, and I finally had her!

Ellen Weinberger and I ended up going out for the next two years.

She taught me how to be free with my words. How to push the envelope – how to not care – because our situation was safe. I was busy turning her on for two years with dirty talk, and she was having sex with her boyfriend and thinking about the things that I’d said – and then she would tell me about it.

That’s how I learned how to talk dirty – that’s how I learned how to push it. That’s how I learned what to say, what not to say, and how to say it.

I have to thank Ellen for allowing me to be free. Ever since then, I’ve always been able to say what’s on my mind sexually. Always. Being sexually free is really what it’s about. When I talk dirty I’m not talking in a very graphic way, I’m talking very subliminally. But that’s how it all started.

I really believe that when you’re growing up, it’s the experiences that you have with the first couple of women that really set the stage to what kind of man you’re going to become. And I had fantastic sexual experiences with my first few girlfriends.

My high school girlfriend wouldn’t sleep with me, but we had foreplay all day long. So when all my friends were trying to get laid – thinking about it all the time and then not getting laid – I was getting some great education in foreplay. I learned the importance of foreplay at the age of 17!

And I learned the importance of dirty talk at the age of 19. I had to get really good at talking dirty to get Ellen to break up with Norm. It took me two years of dirty talk to get her to breakup. Two years of practice allows you to perfect it! Once I got her to breakup with Norm, I had the confidence to talk dirty to any woman out there.

So that’s my story of how I learned to talk dirty. What’s yours?

One of the absolute best things you can do to make a guy want you more on a date, is at the end of the date to lean in toward him letting your lips touch his ear as you whisper “I had a great time tonight.” Then you walk away.

Let his eyes follow you as you leave. He will follow the shape of your body as you walk away, and you will leave him wanting more.

You didn’t kiss him on the lips. You didn’t kiss him on the cheek. You didn’t give him a hug or a handshake. You didn’t do anything except whisper in his ear.

Do you know why this works? It works because it clearly and unambiguously communicates exactly what you want to him, i.e., that you are interested in him (and in him wanting you) but in a way that doesn’t seem at all desperate.

Think about the alternatives. None of them achieve both these objectives. If you kiss him on the cheek, then he will immediately think you are putting him in the friend zone. If you kiss him just on the lips (and don’t involve at least a little bit of tongue), then is going to be wondering if you might just be friendly.

If you whisper in his ear, however, he will get so turned on that from that moment forward he will be just like a puppy dog coming after you. What happens when someone whispers in your ear – even if it’s to say “I’ll be right back” or “It’s so great to see you” or whatever it may be – it immediately makes you remember some great sex you had with someone who whispered certain things in your ear.

So this is one little trick you can use to not only fill a guy with desire for you, but which will get that guy to call you right away. Doing this will not in any way make a guy think you are going to sleep with him right at that moment. The only thing you will lead a guy to think when you do this is that you are one cool woman.

Are you wondering how I know this? I know this because every time a woman has ever done it to me, I couldn’t get my head out of the clouds for hours.

Men are all about the chase, so we love when we can sexually chase you. Show me a man who doesn’t love a woman who talks dirty, and I’ll show you a man who spends the entire night looking at Internet porn because he’s too afraid to tell his wife or girlfriend what he wants sexually.

Here are some of the best ways to turn a man on sexually:

1) Make sure to compliment him. Tell him how hot he makes you feel. Tell him how turned on you are by his touch. It’s a psychological ploy. He’ll get turned on to you, and you’ll benefit because he’ll touch you more.

2) Locate his “sweet spot.” No, I’m not talking about cramming a Krispy Kreme doughnut down his throat. Some men love to have their neck kissed. Some men like a sensual all-over body massage. The best way to find that out, though, is to give him a sensual massage and ask him how that feels. Men are really turned on by a woman who wants to please him.

3) Learn how to give a good blow job. Find out how he likes it. When you go down on him, ask him if you’re doing it right. He’ll tell you. Just the idea that you want to please him will turn him on.

4) When you’re on top of him, open your eyes and look directly into his eyes. Let him see how turned on you are by being that close to him. It will drive him crazy.

These are just some tips on how to turn a man on. When in doubt, just moan out loud “Oh baby . . . you’re the best!” Every man wants to believe they‘re the best lover. Keep in mind that the best sex is when you have open communication with you lover and your partner.

Get the real truth about how men think, why they do the things they do, and what really attracts them here.