A lot of the time when men will talk to women, a woman might be interested but she’s also very nervous. So men will often not end up asking those women out due to what her body language is communicating.

When they’re nervous, a lot of women will have one foot in one direction and the other foot in another direction. Even though they’re smiling, their body language will say to a man that she’s half in and half out, which a man will interpret as disinterest.

He won’t be interpreting it consciously. It will be done subconsciously. This will be his interpretation nonetheless.

When you’re interested in a man, you need to hold your ground. You need to look directly at him, face him and smile. You can’t have one foot in one direction or a shoulder turned off in another direction.

Another thing that women do that absolutely does not work, is that they will have their arms folded. Even though they’re interested in a guy, they’ll have their arms folded when you’re talking to him. This is a defensive pose, not an open pose.

What you need to do instead, is to leave your arms open. Either have them at your side, or have them facing the guy (or use your hands when you’re talking). The minute you fold your arms, you are basically telling a guy — even if it’s on a very subconscious level — that you’re not interested.

Your eye contact is also really important. When you look down at the ground or off in the distance because you’re nervous, you are telling a guy you are not interested. Even if you are interested, when you look away from that person what he will process in his brain is that you are looking at someone else and isn’t interested.

So, once again, eye contact is really important. If you are uncomfortable with constant eye contact, then you can meet his eyes, look down and then come back and meet his eyes again. Just don’t look off in the distance, that will always tell a guy that you are not interested.

Another mistake that women make when talking to a man is fidgeting. Fidgeting with things when you’re talking to somebody tells him that you’re very nervous. You might be nervous because you like him, but a guy will likely interpret your fidgeting as a sign that you’re bored.

It’s amazing how much these little things communicate to the opposite sex. Being more aware of your body language in these situations will really help you get more men to ask you out (and, by extension, get you more dates).

If you want to know more about what you are saying to men with your body language, then have a friend go out with you and film you. Have your friend watch what you’re doing, how you’re reacting to things and how you flirt. Then you can watch not only yourself, but also see things the way a guy does.

It’s really funny. One time a woman did this and sent me the video. In the video she was flirting with a guy, but kept looking away because she was scared, nervous and intimidated by the guy.

When she sent me the video, she said to me that she didn’t know why the guy hadn’t asked her out. When I watched the video, I knew why the minute she looked away and the guy turned around to see at whom she was looking.

She was interested in that guy, and she thought she was showing interest to him. It’s amazing what your body language and you eye contact says, as compared to what your voice says. Be more aware of that, and you’ll see yourself having better flirting sessions, better dates, and a better dating life.

Now let me ask you a question… Do you want to know where are all the marriage-minded men are?

I thought you did… All you need to do is click here to find out where.

Anyway, we were talking about my friend Behar. A lot of you know Behar from the Men’s Mastery Series. He has become something of a legend from that.

He’s actually the man who looked at me at age nineteen and said, “You just have no clue. Do you?” It was an eye-opening moment for me at that time (being age nineteen), because I really didn’t have a clue.

Behar is a basically an “average guy” — about 5’9″ or 5’10″, is kind of going bald and has the “Jewish nose.” Whenever we would go out, he would always kind of throw me under the bus — and this is something every one of you can do when you’re out trying to meet women.

After seeing him do this about a thousand times, I can give you the sequence of events in perfect detail. Here is how this would go down every single time.

He and I would go to a restaurant. The waitress would come over and, of course, would start flirting with me instead of him.

Behar would immediately look at the waitress and say, “Oh, you’re so typical. You go for the solid, good-looking guy just like women always do.” Then the waitress would feel the need to defend herself, and would look at him and say, “No, no that’s not me at all.”

Behar would respond, “What are you talking about? You ignored me like I was not even sitting here. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever thought about going for short, fat, bald Jewish guys? Do you have any idea what you’re missing?”

The waitress would start laughing. Then Behar would tell the waitress to leave and get our order.

When the waitress returned, she would once again start to flirt with me. Behar would say, “Have you given any consideration at all to what I talked to you about? Are you a woman who doesn’t want to expand her horizons, and just continues to do the same things over and over again? You know that is the definition of insanity.”

At this point, her ears were perked up and her mind was racing. Of course, she would always seem to say, “So tell me about short, fat, bald, Jewish guys.” Behar would then look at her deadpan — right in the eyes — and say, “You’ll just have to find out for yourself.”

I mean, it was brilliant. It is one of those things that either works or it doesn’t. The bottom line is that it worked half the time — half the women would go for it and the other half would go back to what they originally wanted, i.e., me.

Anybody can do this. It doesn’t just work if you are a “bald, fat, short, Jewish guy.” It can work if you are average looking, or of a particular ethnicity (e.g., of the “Asian persuasion”), or if you’re super tall or super skinny or whatever it may be.

If, for example, you are of the “Asian persuasion” (as one of my Bootcamp students once termed himself), you could say something like this: “Let me ask you a question. have you ever had a guy of the Asian persuasion? I mean, come on, do you always go for the tall white guy? Have you ever tried Asian? You know, we come in a lot of different flavors.”

There are so many different ways that you can do this. There are so many different ways to have fun with this.

Women love to respond to a challenge. Doing this is calling them out on their shit.

People love to be called out on their shit. They love to be challenged.

So how are you going to challenge yourself to challenge a woman? That’s the real question I have for you today.

Women who have a lot of masculine energy need to dress more sexy. They need to put themselves out there a little bit more.

Do you know what masculine energy is?

Masculine energy in a woman can be a woman who is very successful in her career. She competes with men all day long, so she’s basically masculine. She’s battling men all day long in the business world, so she’s masculine.

She’s looking for a raise. She has to fight her boss, so she’s masculine.

When she goes on a date, she takes that same masculine with her, and takes the guy’s balls and chops them into a million little pieces. When a man is trying to flirt with a woman on a date who has a lot of masculine energy, she basically ends up going into interrogation mode.

She will talk to him the same way she would talk when she’s trying to negotiate a business deal. She doesn’t bring out her feminine energy.

So what is feminine energy and what does it look like on a date? Feminine energy is dressing sexy, flirting with the guy, leaning in when he talks and looking directly in his eyes. Those are one part of it.

Another part of it is learning how to throw a bone to a guy every so often, and then making sure he jumps on it. Learn how to give a man clues, and give him the opportunity pick up on them and take the lead.

That’s how a woman should act around a man. Throw a bone then allow him to lead. You want him to take action.

You don’t want to be the one taking the action all the time. Every time you take action, you emasculate him.

I mean, most guys may not initially see it like that, but eventually it will deteriorate the type of relationship you have. If you want a “guy’s guy,” you have to give him a bone every so often and make sure he picks up on it.

Now I know there are some people reading this right now who are mistakenly thinking that I am telling women to be passive and submissive to men. I am actually saying the opposite.

A big part of feminine energy is being open. It is also being the decision-maker in terms of choosing men with whom you want to be willing at times to be led. It’s allowing yourself to surrender at appropriate moments.

So how do you develop your feminine energy, and feel amazing and sexy in your own skin? Take a look at your body type.  Take a look at the type of woman you are.  

Start looking through magazines which contain pictures of women with your body type. If you’re a little heavier, look at magazines that have heavier women in there so you can see how they dress sexy.  

Go to a store and get a makeover.  Find a way that you can express your sexuality.  

Men are attracted to all body types. The key thing here, though, is that men are attracted to sexy women of all body types.  

So women really need to explore that a little bit more, so that they can use their feminine energy when they start flirting with men. Doing that will get you noticed so much more — and you, as a woman, will also start to have a lot more fun in your dating life.

She wines when she speaks, has the worst posture I’ve ever seen, and looks like she has neither showered nor washed her hair in months. She looks like she would smell.

So how she got a movie about love, I’ll never figure out. Of course she doesn’t know what love is (which is the basic premise of the movie), since the way she dresses and carries herself makes her reak of insecurity.

What a complete and utter waste of time. The worst part of the movie was that we brought a picnic to eat during it and never got to eat it because of the “Men In Black.” No it wasn’t Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones . . . but two men who stood in black suits at each side of the theater for the entire movie staring at the people in the seats. Their suits looked like those ones you can buy three for $149.00.

Then, at the end of the movie, they just left. I’ve never been to a movie where there were security guards wearing black suits.

Why were they there? Did they know the movie was this bad, and worried that we might attack the movie screen? Were they there to wake us up when we fell asleep during this awful movie . . . or was this just another oddity about living in La La Land. I’ll never know the answer since the “Men In Black” disappeared before we could find out who they were.

Enough about bad movies, Men In Black and picnics that can’t be eaten. On to today’s main event . . .

So, what do you do when the conversation stalls with someone?

You have to think to yourself, what do I know about this person? What have I learned about this person?

A conversation should never stall. There might be no chemistry, and you might not have “it” with that person, but you can always reignite a conversation and give it another shot. How? Well, what have you already learned about them?

So she’s from Japan – you’ve learned that. You’re currently in Seattle studying. If the conversation stalls, you can just look at her and say, “so what do you miss the most about Japan? Is there one thing that you really miss about home?”

Get her to talk more emotionally; get her to talk about her feelings and about what is going on. In this way you can re-engage her and she can answer, “you know what I miss the most about Japan? I miss the food; I miss the culture…” whatever it is.

“What is it about the food you miss?” Ask her like you’re talking to a child. When you look at any kid and you ask, “what’s bugging you today?” They always answer, “nothing,” and you have to prod them a bit. You say, “alright, come on and tell me what’s bothering you.” Then the kid will say, “well, I didn’t like dinner.” You ask, “alright, what didn’t you like about dinner?” – do you see how you are paraphrasing the child’s words to get them to open up a little bit?

Sometimes talking to women is like talking to a five-year-old. You have to paraphrase her a little bit – but don’t talk in that same little kid voice! But you do have to get her to open up a little bit.

Another reason that was a fantastic example is that you opened up what I consider to be the hardest culture of women to open. Japanese women – oh man. Chinese women are tough, Filipino women are very shy and hard to open up, but Japanese women are just about the most difficult to open – because of their culture.

What is Japanese culture like? If you ever go to Honolulu, the men are walking and the women they are with are like five or ten feet behind them. The younger Japanese women still have that as their parental example even if they are a lot more modern, progressive and hipper than their parents.

The culture is different now, but still, Japanese women are tough to open. But once you open them up, they start laughing and smiling. So that interaction all together was really fantastic.

To get the conversation back on track, instead of thinking to yourself, oh my god, what do I do here? How do I save this conversation? Think to yourself: what do I know about her? I can ask her a question based on something we’ve already talked about and I can take the conversation deeper.

That is, are you somebody who won’t talk to people to their face – so you talk shit about them behind their back?

There is nothing I disrespect more than back talking. I don’t respect someone who can’t look me in the eyes and talk to me directly – someone who badmouths me behind my back. I find that to be the most disgraceful way of addressing something.