Every time someone asks me this, all I can picture is this giant chicken wing dripping with buffalo sauce running around next to them. I picture them constantly having to clean off their shoes from all the buffalo sauce that is dripping off their wing.

So is it better to run with a wing or to run by yourself? The answer is that it is always better to run by yourself.

If you’re by yourself, then it’s like you are the complete master of every conversation. If you run with a wing, then all of a sudden you are opening up your conversations to someone else.

That someone else will jump in your conversations and might even end up dominating the conversation. Even worse, they might end up turning off the very person you are trying to intrigue because they aren’t listening.

If you are having a great conversation with a woman, your wing might end up feeling neglected and want to leave. I’ve seen women wings do that all the time. A woman will having a great time talking to a guy in a bar, and the woman wing will get annoyed and start tugging on the woman telling her that they need to go somewhere else.

Meet Women With Wings

I’ve seen so many wing scenarios go badly. So it’s much better to go alone.

Going alone also forces you to learn to speak with people when you are alone. You don’t want to just stand in the corner by yourself. Going it alone forces you to go out there and communicate with people.

So going alone is something all of you need to do. It’s something I personally really enjoy. My best conversations always happen when I go out alone.

Daphne and I hit the beach and I waited as she did her business.

I went back upstairs into my office and opened this email.

Below you will see a quote from Seth Godin who writes some of the best books on marketing.

This quote got me thinking.

How many of you are childlike when it comes to dating and meeting the opposite sex?

How many of you are childish when it comes to dating and meeting the opposite sex?

When you read the words below I want you to think about your life and how you act when it comes to dating.

Do you have a temper tantrum in your head when things dont work out?

Do you work on yourself everyday and have a childlike enthusiasm about meeting people?

Do you have a hissy fit when your approach does not go as planned?

Do you have a childish meltdown when the person does not call you back?

Read the words below and realize that when it comes to dating and meeting the opposite sex you must be more Childlike!

Childlike makes a great scientist.

Childish produces tantrums.

Childlike brings fresh eyes to marketing opportunities.

Childish rarely shows up as promised.

Childlike is fearless and powerful and willing to fail.

Childish is annoying.

Childlike inquires with a pure heart.

Childish is merely ignored.

One time, I went to a seminar where all the guy leading the seminar wanted the audience to do was to say “Yes!” over and over again. No matter what the seminar leader said, he expected the audience to respond to with just one word: Yes!

You don’t ever want to be a “yes man” (or a “yes woman”). Why are you saying yes? Why are people “yes men” or “yes women?”

The reason is that they are insecure. They actually feel like nobody wants them, so when they find someone with whom to have a relationship, they agree with everything.

They’re so afraid to rock the boat. They’re so afraid that if they don’t say yes to everything that they’re going to lose this person and never have a chance at another relationship again.

Unfortunately they are unaware of one thing. The truth is that nobody wants to be with a “yes man” (or a “yes woman”).

It drives me crazy to be around these kind of people. I have friends who are “yes men,” and have been stuck in conversations like this:

DW: “Do you want Thai food?”
YesMan: “Yes.”
DW: “How about Mexican food?”
YesMan: “Sure.”
DW: What do you want to eat?
YesMan: “I want whatever you want.”

I really can’t stand it.

Stand up for yourself, have an opinion on things and don’t be afraid to communicate. People will respect you more.

I never respect “yes people.” If someone yes’s me to death, I don’t respect them because they don’t feel like my equal.

Everyone is each other’s equal. So if you feel like you’ve been a “yes man” or a “yes woman” in relationships, then it’s time for you to start saying the magic word: No!

These are two letters you need to learn — “n” and “o.” Use them. Be one with “no.”

Whenever you talk to someone, you need to come away from that conversation with some personal information about them.

Ask yourself after each conversation, “What personal thing did I find out about this person?”

If your memory needs work, try using a digital recorder or start writing down what you remember. I tell this to guys all the time.

The fact is that the more you remember about people, the greater your chance is to bond with them in the future.

So after you talk to anyone, ask yourself, “What did I discover about this individual personally? What did I learn?” This also trains your brain to think in this way, and it helps improve your memory.

Next time you run into that person (which you will!), you can start the conversation with something personal you learned the last time you both met.

For instance, we were just talking to some women who were trying to raise money for the homeless shelter. In a few weeks I might run into one of them again and say, “Oh, I saw you a few weeks ago outside Whole Foods. Have you reached your fundraising goal yet?”

It’s really important for you to remember things like that. Without a personal takeaway, you have no way of following up with someone that you want to speak to again!

We’re always running errands. We’re getting our car washed, we’re getting gas, we’re going to the supermarket to buy groceries, we’re going to the art store to have a picture framed, we’re on our way to the dry cleaners. Whatever it is…we are always running errands.

So, think about this: you’re always running errands, and I’m always running errands, everyone is always running errands – that must be a great place to meet people!

Even better, you have something that you can talk to people about at any time in any place. You’ve probably been running errands at the same places for years.

Look at running errands as something fun to do. Walk into a place and take over. Create a party in the place you are in. It’s no longer about just buying a pair of sneakers – you’re going out to have fun and talk with other people (and find some new kicks!)

Begin to look at things in a different way. Think about where people are. People are where you are! You have to realize this and take advantage of these places. These are the places where things start to become interesting. Take advantage of it!

You guys converse for a few minutes, and then she walks away. And after this, you stop enjoying yourself because all you’re thinking about is “Where is she right now? Is she coming back?”

With all of these thoughts running through your head, you can’t really concentrate on the conversations you’re having with other people. This is where you make the biggest mistake.

You have to understand that the dynamic presence – the power of who you are as a person – will intrigue her. Did you intrigue her enough? If you intrigued her enough, you can just walk away.

A confident man will walk away knowing that the woman will come back. An unconfident man will follow her around and turn her off. The more you follow her around, the more she’ll start to think, “Why is this guy being so needy and following me around?”

So here is what I would do at these parties: I would talk to her for five or six minutes, and then I might tap her on the leg lightly and say, “Hey, look, I just saw a buddy of mine over there that I need to go talk to, I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t miss me too much.”

Later, I’ll come back – even if it’s twenty minutes later. Maybe she’s talking to another guy. I might whisper in her ear, “Oh man, you’ve got to stop flirting with this guy. I know you miss me!” And then I’ll walk away.

I’ll play with her like that, and I’ll keep a theme running. And what will inevitably happen is that she’ll start to try to find you.

During that time, you have to make sure that you’re talking to other people at the party. Talk to everyone, and you’d better make sure that you’re having fun! Show her that you’re enjoying yourself in other conversations.

Don’t look around the room like you’re seeking a ship on the horizon – “Where is she? Where did she go?” You have to stay present in that moment, and let her seek you out.

If you think this was easy wait till you see what is even more obvious in this video.

The point of life is realizing every single day that life itself is actually a miracle.

To get really Zen in your thinking, you need to accept everything that comes into your life and learn from the lessons you are presented with. You need to embrace those lessons and move forward.

It’s important to realize that when you receive coaching of any kind – whether it is a dating bootcamp or coaching on a physical sport – you have to practice.

Think about yoga. Yoga is practice, right? Why is yoga called practice? Because you’ll never be good at it unless you practice. And there is always room for improvement; there is always something new to learn.

I’ve been doing yoga for three years, and while I’m much better now than I was when I started, I’m still not as good as I’m going to be. Even when I get to the point where I’m really good, I’m still going to have to improve and get somewhere else.

That’s what life is about: a constant evolution, trying to get somewhere. And more important than this evolution is your acceptance of it. The more you accept, the more you will evolve. This is where that Zen-like feeling comes in, which we all want to feel, right?

So if you are able to have total acceptance of everything that goes on in your life, you’ll be able to enjoy the gift. You will be able to enjoy what is happening each and every day. You’ll be able to extract the value of whatever is going on in your life.

Coaching is just the start – the tip of the iceberg. My interns could tell you, whenever I go out; I’m constantly being coached. I’m constantly talking to people, I’m always learning, and I’m constantly writing things down.

I’m always communicating with my girlfriend and learning ways to be a better man. I’m constantly investing in myself.

I’ve referred to this before, and the movie Defending Your Life goes into this: the worst thing in the world is to be cheap with yourself. If you’re cheap with yourself, then you will die cheating yourself.

So even though some people decide to make that initial investment in themselves and take a bootcamp, they still have to continue to make that personal investment and continue to learn.

I’m investing something in myself every single day. When I threw my back out, I invested in my healing – a lot of money! Was it a waste of money? No way. I learned how to heal my body, and I learned to listen better to how my body communicates with me.

This is your one body, and your one chance. I don’t know about you, but I want to get it right. I don’t know what your religious beliefs are, but I believe that your soul passes on to a better place, and I think that if you haven’t learned all of your lessons then your soul comes back as another tortured individual. That’s my belief system.

So I really want to get all of my lessons in this lifetime. I want to make this life as fulfilling as possible. Whenever I pass, I want to make sure that I really embraced the ride. That’s really all you can do for yourself.

It really is about investing in yourself every single day. It’s very powerful, and it’s fun!