I’ve found that many people, when approaching someone of the opposite sex, are just trying to close the deal. They are just trying to sell themselves.

Life is not about selling yourself. This isn’t a negotiation. When you approach someone you are attracted to, you should never go up to them and list the “ten reasons why you should date me.”

What it is about is getting to know someone. People want to do business with people that intrigue them. They want to do business with someone they can imagine being friends with, with someone that makes them feel comfortable.

So you don’t have to sell yourself so much! I’ve seen it all – people will really go completely over the top when trying to sell themselves. They are trying to negotiate a date out of someone rather than just relaxing, having fun, enjoying life and being fully present.

Life is not about negotiations. Life is not about selling yourself. Life is about presenting the best version of yourself based on who you are and your confidence.

Whenever I run into someone who is trying to sell themselves to me, I’ll look at them and say, “let me ask you a question: why are you trying to sell yourself so much? Let me get to like you for who you are – the REAL you. I don’t need to know just the good parts about you – let me get to know ALL the parts of you! Then I’ll be able to make an informed decision when it comes down to whether or not I want to hang out with you.”

So don’t sell. You might run into somebody like me – somebody who can’t be closed!

And don’t ever try to close me if you meet me. Just get to know me. I have lots of friends and a great network of contacts, and not one person I know is someone who ever tried to close me. They just got to know me.

Todays video is a live approach and breakdown at Bed Bath and Beyond.

You are about to learn what beyond is!!

How was everyones weekend?

I had the opportunity to work with a great guy from Scottsdale. I am off to NYC on Friday for a bootcamp as well as some one on one coaching.

I think todays post will really hit home for a lot of men and women especially after the weekend.

Which number is greater: your age, or the amount of women or men that you’ve met in a bar?

Think about this for a second. Think about the number of great women or men that you’ve actually met in a bar – or a nightclub, or a restaurant. Write it down.

Now take a look at your age – which number is higher? Usually your age is higher than the number of great men or women you’ve met in a bar.

It’s funny – I was with a client the other day, and we were talking, and he kept saying to me over and over again, “man, I just hate going to bars. I can’t stand going to bars. I really want to go just do something else.”

And I said to him, “how many women over the last year do you think you’ve actually met in a bar?” He looked at me, and said, “I’ve met one.” I said, “so do you average one per year?” and he said, “yeah, probably one per year.”

He’s 40 years old, and I asked him how many years he’s been going to bars. He said probably since he was 18, and I said, “so basically in 22 years you’ve met 22 women, and you’re 40 years old?” I don’t like that ratio. I think that number is pretty ridiculous.

Think about it – how many people have you actually met in a bar? If that number is greater than your age, then you should continue to go to bars. But if that number is less than your age, then I think you need to reconsider what you are doing on Friday and Saturday nights.

As we get older, our age will always increase. But to balance the scales of life, if the number of the women that you’ve met in a bar is not greater than your age, then you are just wasting time and wasting years.

Every single day, what you need to do is set a goal. You need to go out there and have at least ten conversations a day.

By having ten conversations a day, you create positive energy around you. I don’t care if you go out and talk to ten men, ten women, ten kids – what happens is that every time you stop and have a conversation, you smile, you look in someone’s eyes and you engage them, you are learning how to be a more confident person the whole time.

Not only that, but other people are looking at you. When other people are looking at you, they want to go and talk to you too – they’re wondering what you are all about. You’re creating intrigue around you, you’re creating a positive vibe around you, and you’re creating something that most people don’t create: interest.

Most guys walk around, and all they do is chase. They walk through the entire day just trying to find the one woman that they’re attracted to that they can talk to.

The problem with that is that when you find her, you haven’t talked to anybody else, so you haven’t had any other conversations, so you walk over all uptight.

Once again, go out there and talk to everybody all day long, and you’ll build your social confidence up all day.

That’s what real confidence is about – being able to carry on a conversation with everyone. The point is that you want to become a good conversationalist. Becoming a good conversationalist means that you can talk to everybody in every situation.

Todays podcast is all about playing the percentages. Life is all about numbers……and until you are willing to fail you will never meet anyone.

This podcast is for men and women.

Click here to download…

Enjoy your Sunday!!!

Wherever you go, you need to always talk to people – everywhere. You need to stop chasing women and start attracting people into your life.

You have to start being memorable. Memorable people get somewhere in life. If you’re not memorable, you won’t get anywhere in life.

So how do you become memorable?

Very easily. Everywhere you go, you need to walk in there and make people feel great. If you go to a sunglass store, and you’ve bought sunglasses there before, walk in and say, “hey, how are you today?” Talk to the person who is selling you the sunglasses. Get to know them a little bit. So then the next time you walk in there, they know you, they remember you, and they greet you like an old friend.

You want to have a circle of friends. What will happen if you start networking through your life is that people will start remembering you and doing favors for you. It could be something as simple as just getting an extra slice of cheese on your sandwich, or getting a free soda at the deli.

But the bottom line is that most people don’t engage others in conversation. If you are able to engage people in conversation, you will become memorable. People will remember you.

Life is so much about nonverbal communication. For instance, you go into a store and there is a beautiful woman standing there, and you walk in with some approach anxiety – you don’t know what to say to her. But if the two clerks in the store know who you are, they will walk over and say, “hey, how are you today?” and you can tell them you’re doing great.

The next key thing is to remember things about these people. If you have a bad memory, then start taking notes. Buy a Blackberry or an iPhone, and start taking notes about all of the people that you meet.

That way, when you go into a store you will remember things about the people there. So here you are standing in the same store, about to order a sandwich, and you’re having approach anxiety with the woman standing there because you don’t know what to say – yet you remember the guy behind the counter just had a baby.

You look at the guy behind the counter and say, “hey, how’s the little kid treating you? Are you getting enough sleep?” He answers, “oh man, thanks for asking. I haven’t been able to sleep in so long…”

All of a sudden, the woman standing there will notice what is going on – she’ll notice the energy that is being created. You’ve created positive energy, and she’s noticed. So she will start looking at you in an entirely different light. She will see how the guy behind the counter is looking at you favorably.

This is what life is all about – so much nonverbal communication. So you need to become memorable wherever you go.

Today I have 2 podcasts for you that will make your Sunday more fun. The first one is how to give your man a great erotic massage. Men you need to listen to this one…..something to keep in mind the next time you have a woman over.

The second one is all about how to stop trying to be so perfect and just have fun in life!!