The kiss means absolutely nothing unless you’ve done all the rest of the stuff right. I feel that if you pay attention to what the woman has to say — if you listen, react to her, smile in her presence and enjoy the date — that the kiss is really easy.

Not ending the date with a kiss is so different from how most guys think. I truly believe that you shouldn’t play tonsil hockey at the end of the first date. There is no reason to do that.

That’s a sexual thing. That’s a male thing. That’s an ego thing. It’s a man who is acting like a little boy who feels like he has to prove to everyone that he can get a kiss from a girl.

A real man couldn’t care less about the kiss at the end of the first date. A real man builds attraction by listening to her, talking to her, enjoying her company and asking her out for the second date. Those are the things that a real man does on a first date.

The best “kiss close” you can do at the end of a first date is to look into the woman’s eyes, reach in, give her a kiss on the lips, pull back and smile at her. That alone is so much more powerful that figuring when to jam you tongue in her mouth.

That subtle little kiss, in conjunction with asking her out at the end of the first date, will keep her thinking about you way more than any makeout session. So come on guys, do you want to be a boy or would you rather be a man?

The other day I was hanging out with this woman and we were talking about my business.

She knows exactly what I do – teaching guys how to really become master communicators and learn the art of attraction – but she had no idea that there are all of these wacky companies out there that teach pick-up terminology and teach you how to be something that you are not.

She could not believe that guys sit around and ask each other how to ‘escalate sexually’ the very first time.

I’ve always said it – but the way you ‘escalate sexually’ is by listening and talking to her. You engage her, and you smile at her. This is how you escalate sexually.

If she says something funny, you can lightly touch her arm. You don’t have think to yourself, like a robot, oh she just did something. Let me touch her arm now. Okay, I touched her arm, now I need to lean in and kiss her.

It doesn’t have to be this hard!

The reason why you make it this hard is because you just don’t spend enough time developing and trusting yourself.

Granted, when I was first out there in the dating world at 18 or 19 years old, I was nervous as hell and always scared to death to go in for the kiss. Of course you’re nervous – that’s natural!

But I never looked for a manual that told me exactly when to go in for the kiss.

Instead, I learned and practiced and started paying attention to things. If you really pay attention to women, you’ll know when she wants you to kiss her. If she’s looking deeply into your eyes and smiling at you – absolutely you should go in for the kiss!

You don’t have to sit there and think about when is the best moment for going in for the kiss. The fact is that you just have to be yourself.

A guy just emailed me, and he basically said, “I’m going out with this girl, she’s really deep, she’s really amazing, but how do I get her to like me?”

Hello! You just said it yourself: she’s really deep and really amazing. How do you get her to like you? You have to be deep and amazing for her as well.

I’ve said it a thousand times: in order to attract amazing looking women, you have to learn how to be attractive to yourself. You have to learn deep inner confidence. You have to learn to love yourself before you can go out there and meet people.

If you don’t love yourself and trust yourself, of course you’re going to be neurotic in every situation! That’s the way that things go and it’s just the way you are.

Develop your inner confidence. Every product that I put out there has so many lessons for gaining inner confidence. I know that there is no shortcut in life.

Eventually, you’re going to have to find a way to be comfortable being yourself. The most powerful version of you is the most comfortable version of yourself.

Learn who you are. Trust who you are. Along the way, start taking chances and risks.

If you see the outward signs that she wants to kiss you and you want to go in for the kiss, grab your balls and go kiss her!

Just try it. If you get rejected, who cares? If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t matter. No matter what I say and tell you, you’re still going to have to get out there and try it.

You are going to fail, but you are also going to succeed.

But no matter what, you’d better start today!

Something that is so funny is that so many guys try to get a kiss close.

For those of you that don’t know pick-up language, a kiss close is when you meet a woman in a square in Europe, or you meet a woman in a bar, or wherever, and you get a kiss close. This means you talk to her for like five or six minutes and then you get a kiss close.

But what is so funny, and what most guys don’t think about is this: that doesn’t validate you!

So you kissed some random woman? If she was so up for kissing you, you don’t know who’s dick she had in her mouth the night before! So basically you’re kissing someone’s dick from the night before. Think about that.

Not only that, but I know guys that have kiss closed women in bars, and I’ve seen it – they’ve actually kiss closed a woman in a bar, and they come over and they are so proud of it – all of a sudden I’ll see that woman making out with some other dude in the corner, grabbing his crotch.

Now the thought of sticking my tongue in a woman’s mouth that’s probably already gone down on some other dude doesn’t really appeal to me!

The fact is: why do you want to kiss somebody that you don’t even know? She could have the flu! She could have a really nasty cold. She could be skanky. She could have a cold sore – why do you have to validate yourself by kiss closing a random woman?

That doesn’t make you a man. It’s silly, it’s ridiculous, and it’s one of the dumbest things – this is why these guys call themselves ‘puas’. What does ‘pua’ stand for? Once again, every time I say it: it’s a pick-up asshole!

Basically you’re an asshole running around trying to pick up women all day long instead of learning how to attract women. Stop trying to pick them up – they’re not weights! You can’t lift them up over your head or curl them!

“Hey man, let’s pick up some women today,” “cool, I picked up two today, let’s put them on either side of a stick and just lift them and get a good workout,” right?

If you really want to pick up some women, lay down on the ground, I’ll throw one on top of you, and let’s see how many women you can bench press.

But that kiss close thing – this has always been something that has really repulsed me. Granted – I’m not a prude, I’m not an asshole, I have definitely gone out and had my share of make out sessions with random women in bars – when I was drunk and loaded.

But think about it as a sober person: think about where her mouth has been. Think about it: if she’s so willing to kiss you so quickly, think about where her mouth could have been ten minutes before.

Now do you still want to kiss close those lips?

Or would you rather spend the time, get to know her, and turn her into a dynamic, passionate, sexual being that absolutely indulges every inch of your body?

If you want that, I’ll tell you about it another day!