No, not somebody who orders eggs and hash browns at the diner, takes them home, and then rehashes them the next morning.

The other rehashing.

Are you somebody who will go out on a date—maybe a few dates—and then if it suddenly fizzles out with him or her, you’ll go and drive your friends crazy for the next two weeks reliving and replaying every single moment of those dates. You want to rehash every moment: “If I just said this…” “If I just did that…” “If he just reacted to me this way…” “It was over all because I didn’t react that way, that’s the reason why we’re not going out again!”

All that rehashing is ridiculous. It’s not the one thing you did or didn’t do that killed it. It’s a combination of things. It’s energy. It’s chemistry. There’s so much more involved than just one stupid little thing you could’ve done better. Usually nothing you could have done would have saved the situation anyway.

So if you’re driving your friends crazy rehashing your last failed date or relationship 24/7 over something that you think might have gone wrong—you’re 100% wrong in that. Because what really went wrong is that you didn’t have the chemistry with that person. Maybe life at that moment was throwing you a curve ball. Maybe your date had things going on in his or her life. Maybe you had things going on in yours.

It’s never, ever just one thing. It’s not one thing that you said on that date that turned the whole thing around and killed the date momentum. It’s not one thing that made your date not want you or desire you or want to be with you. So stop rehashing the past, and start smoking all the hash that you want.

But last week I was lucky enough to get free tickets to an amazing new show called “Iris.” Iris is the new production from Cirque Du Soleil. If you haven’t seen anything by Cirque Du Soleil yet, it’s probably going to be one of the best shows you’ll ever see.

I’ve been lucky enough to see about six of these shows, and every time I see them they never fail to amaze me. For those of you guys who aren’t familiar, Cirque Du Soleil is well-known for its contortionists putting their bodies into all different types of acrobatic poses and motions.

It’s just a classy show all around. But what I really appreciate the most about this show is the sheer amazing, eye-popping acrobatics that the performers do with their bodies. If you watch the performers very carefully when they’re going into these crazy performances, you’ll see them hand-holding each other from trapezes, bodies interlocked, curling up in the air, catching each other on the ground, forming human pyramids, all sorts of amazing stunts.

Not one time will you ever see them sweat, blink, or behave like it’s a hard act to pull off. They make such an art form of portraying the human body as weightless, and it’s such an amazing and beautiful thing to see.

Not only that, attending a Cirque Du Soleil show is one of my favorite activities in the entire world because it’s very sexual. It’s a very physical show with a lot of focus on the sensual movements of the human body. You get to admire the beauty of all those bodies on stage. Each little segment takes you through a different journey of pushing the human spirit, and how much more you can push it, and how much better.

I really suggest you guys check out the show Iris, one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. Best of all, it’s something that you’ll enjoy because it makes a great, great date that will give you plenty points of conversation to discuss after the show.

Think about this: 95 percent of first dates never materialize, never ever get past the first date. Most first dates are one and doners. It’s not that you’re not going to like the person. It’s just that in order to have real chemistry, it takes a lot of dates to find that. Some of us get lucky, meet one person — haven’t met a person in awhile, meet somebody, go on a date, and end up in a relationship. That’s one of the rare cases. But most first dates tend to crash and burn. And the reason why is because of the jitters.

Here’s the deal: If you go into a date really nervous thinking about what to say, how you’re going to act, then you’re just not going to be yourself, and that’s what you need to present: Yourself, a good, strong positive, amazing side of yourself. Don’t talk about exes. Don’t talk about things you don’t like. Talk about all things that you like. Talk about your dreams, and more importantly: Have fun. Here’s the deal: In terms of what you say or what you do, they’re either going to like you or they’re not going to like you. It’s not one statement that’s going to sway them in one direction or another. It’s not the place you pick out that’s going to sway them one way of the other.

Well, then again, unless you take them to McDonald’s for a first date. Then you might sway them never to come with you again, never to hang with you again. But in reality it’s all about just having a good time. Get rid of the first-date jitters. If you still have them, if you’re still so anxious to have sex with someone you’re meeting — remember the movie “Something about Mary?” — you can whack off before the date.

As a man, you start getting annoyed because you made reservations, you took her to this nice restaurant, you spent money on movie tickets, or you ordered a nice bottle of wine. Or if you’re a woman, you’re sitting there and you’re just not having fun. The guy is just so boring, and you could be out with your girlfriends right now.

But really, so what if you don’t have chemistry? It doesn’t matter because this is somebody who’s also single and bored. This is another person to get to know, and networking is what it’s all about. Putting yourself out there and getting know people, even if it’s not your next boyfriend or girlfriend, is what it’s all about. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have chemistry, so don’t let it get your evening down.

It doesn’t really matter. What you’ve got to do in this situation is you’ve got to learn how to turn the bad date into the good date.

Look at it this way: if another person is sitting across from you, you’re stuck with that person for the evening. Your options are to either waste away the night and learn nothing and gain nothing—or you can make the most of it and get to know this person and see if it’s someone worth adding to your social network.

So don’t be an idiot, don’t be rude, don’t look at your watch over and over again just because you two aren’t clicking romantically. Don’t look down at your phone every five minutes and hope that someone texts you. Don’t leave the table and come back and make up some phony excuse to get out of there. Don’t be inconsiderate to your date just because you haven’t found the love of your life. Have a good time with that person. It’s the evening and you’re out having fun, so enjoy the moment and you’ll carry that good energy with you down the road. You’ll look back and actually be able to say to yourself that you had a good evening, a good weekend, and you know how to create a fun time.

First Date Nightmares

Then, at the end of your date, look at them and say, “Hey I really enjoyed this, I had a good time, but I don’t see you and I really going forward together. I just don’t think we have that chemistry, but you’re an interesting person and I’m sure we can network and make something happen with the people we know. You know what, I like to throw barbecues and dinner parties every now and then. Why don’t you get a few of your single friends, and I’ll get together a few of my single friends, and we’ll throw everyone together next weekend and see what happens!”

Now you’ve left having made a good impression, your ex-date will hype you up to their friends about how nice of a person you are, and they will all be incredibly eager to meet this great person they’ve been hearing about.

It’s all about the power of networking, and you never know what lies ahead for you down the road.

I know that our usual weekend topic is nightlife and bars, but let’s switch it up a little for today. Today let’s talk a little bit about when you’ve got a date.

When you’re out and you’re dating, you know from the blog that if you’re the man on the date you always want to have a plan on the first date or so. When you ask a woman out, you want to be the leader, you want to have a place to go, but also be open to suggestions from your date. You want to have an idea of where you want to go and what you want to do that night based on the situation, the interaction, or the conversation you had with your date.

“What do you want to do tonight?” are words that should never come out of your mouth when inviting a woman out on a first date. Be thoughtful, be inspired, and show that you actually put some consideration and effort into the evening.

You don’t need to plan out every little detail of what you’re going to do—granted, some men and women do like their evening to run that way, and that’s fine if it suits your personality.

First Date Ideas

But there is a fine line between planning out a fun time on your date and rigidly sticking to your plans without room for creativity if things go wrong. You always want to be flexible in your planning. If things don’t go exactly according to plan, roll with it.

If your date is a vegetarian and you accidentally took her to a steak house, you can always leave and go somewhere else. Find a cool, hip vegetarian place maybe neither of you have ever been to before. You just might have a great new discovery in the area that you had no idea existed. And if the food wasn’t that good, oh well, at least the two of you had the experience and went on a little adventure together.

If you planned out a nice afternoon picnic or walk in the park and suddenly it starts raining, what do you do? Maybe change the plan and take her to a matinee. Sneak your picnic food in her purse have your own little picnic in the back of the theater.

It’s all about being open-minded. It’s all about being open to the fun possibilities out there. Because in reality, nothing goes exactly according to plan. You can never plan anything out 100% and know what the future holds in store, so be open to whatever comes your way, embrace it and make the most of it. The more your rigidly stick to what you planned out and try your hardest to make things to go exactly as planned, the more you are closing yourself off to great opportunities that come your way, opportunities that you couldn’t predict, even opportunities that you never thought could be possible.

So on all of your upcoming dates, I want you guys to have an action plan and a direction going into the date. But I also want to you be open and receptive to change. Be open and receptive to new possibilities on your dates, or in your encounters, or even when you are first meeting and talking to someone of the opposite sex, and see what great moments and great memories that you could never have predicted lie ahead for you.

Rejection is just an insecurity in your own mind. Think about it, rejection doesn’t really exist. It is a made-up thought and a made-up word.

How many of you have had this happen: You go out on one date with someone. You like them, and thought they were the coolest person in the entire world. So you call them after the date, and they never call you back.

Did you you feel totally rejected by this? Did you bring all your friends into the conversation, and ask them what you can do in that situation? Did you spend all kinds of time trying to figure out if the person likes you and whether they will every call you back? When you don’t hear from them, did you spend all kinds of time trying to figure out why they didn’t call?

Whenever anybody asks me any of these kind of questions, I always tell them the same thing. I always say, “Give me their number. I will get on the phone with them right now, and I will find out whether or not they are going to call you (or why they didn’t call you). It will be fun. We’ll call them together, and we’ll find out whether they like you.”

As silly as that sounds, that is actually the only way you will ever really know the answers to all of these questions you spend hours and days mulling over with your friends. Even worse, remember that every day you spend feeling that made-up emotion of rejection, is another day you are wasting not meeting other people.

Always go by the “72 hour rule.” Give someone 72 hours to call you back (or to call you after a date if you’re a woman). 72 hours, and that’s it. That is as long as you give yourself to sit around hoping and waiting for that phone call. Then you go out there and start meeting people again.

The longer you wait in that “rejection zone,” the more opportunities you miss to meet someone else really amazing. So it’s time to get out of the rejection zone, which really doesn’t even exist anyway.

Rejection does not exist. It is a made-up thought and a made-up emotion.

You are not rejected by anybody. People have a choice, just like you have a choice. You have a choice not to call someone back or to go out with someone on a second date. So does everyone else.

It’s all about choices. You have just been completely caught up in the subject of what someone else’s choices are or might be.

So someone else decided they didn’t want to call you. You’ve made the choice not to call someone at times. The shoe is on the other foot in that situation, but if you think about it I bet you did not think about your choice as rejecting the other person. You were just making a choice. Yet when it is the other person making the choice, you feel rejected.

Think about that and how crazy that is. It makes no sense, does it now? So the next time you think you have been rejected, remember what it was like when the shoe was on the other foot.

How did it go?

Did you feel any spark or did the date feel more like an interview?

And the bigger question is do you want to see that person again or was it a one and done?

So many dates crash and burn due to a lack of really being able to let go and be yourself.

The one thing I always tell people is to make sure that the real you shows up.

What do I mean by the real you showing up?

If you really desire great dates check out today’s video.

Have a great Sunday and see you all tomorrow.

Check out how this guy decided to approach first date honesty.

How about if you could really just let go and be yourself on a first date.

Could you imagine doing what she just did.

Enjoy your Saturday and I hope these put a smile on your face.

You always have to wait for your friends to go with you before you can do anything you want to do. How many of you do that?

How many of you have that mentality of always waiting for your friends to join you? How many of you live alone with no roommates, and you basically don’t have anyone to run with? How many of you work late all the time because you really just don’t know what else to do with yourself?

This is what I tell everybody, and this is what I do myself. You have to start dating yourself. In order to be able to go and meet somebody, you’ve got to start dating yourself.

So here are some things I used to do all the time. I would take myself out to dinner. Instead of going to Whole Foods and bringing dinner home, I’d go there and sit at one of their tables and eat. There are going to be other people there doing the exact same thing you are.

Instead of renting movies from Netflix when I wanted to see a new movie, I made sure that I went to the video store so I had an opportunity to meet somebody. Instead of making tea (since I don’t drink coffee) at home, I’d go to a coffee shop and sit there to drink my tea. I’d bring a newspaper, hang out and just talk to people there.

You have to start dating yourself. You really do.

You’ve got to start doing things with yourself. You’ve got to start enjoying yourself.

It’s almost like a new form of masturbation. You have to go out there. You have to entertain yourself. You have to go and do things on a consistent basis, because nobody else is going to bring the people to you.

What happens when you are always waiting for your friends to do things, is that you have all sorts of pressure because you’re always waiting for them. You finally get your friends to go out on Friday night, so you put all this pressure on that Friday night as your one opportunity to meet people.

So spend a few days a week dating yourself. Ask yourself out. Call yourself up. Send yourself a text. Send yourself a text and say, “Hey you, what do you want to do tonight?” Then text yourself right back and say, “I don’t know. What are you in the mood for?” Then text yourself again and say, “How about dinner at Whole Foods tonight, or why don’t we we go to that great little place up the street and have dinner at the bar?”

Go out and start communicating with people. The point is to build up your social network. When you go out and do all this, don’t just go out and wait for the most beautiful person to arrive before you’ll talk to anyone. Talk to everybody.

What happens when you do that is that you start to build up that social network. You will start to communicate with people all the time — men, women, kids, dogs, older people, younger people, everyone.

Then a month later, you’ll run into the woman you talked to at Whole Foods one night. You may not have been attracted to her, but you chatted with her a bit. You had a great conversation over Whole Foods dinner. You may run into that woman when she is with six of her friends, and you will immediately (and without any pressure) have an “in” into that group of women.

Even though you weren’t attracted to her, she was still a nice person to hang out with at the time. And now that you did that, when you see her now with her friends, you can walk right over to her and say, “Oh my God, it’s my dinner partner from Whole Foods a few weeks ago!”

So you’re building yourself a network that way which takes off some of the pressure. Instead of always having to do these cold approaches 24/7, it takes off that pressure and enables you to go and start building up a social network.

This is what I did, and this is how I know so many people. No matter where I go, I know people. If I fly to London tomorrow, I can call ten people for dinner and they’ll bring ten new people along. If I go to Wisconsin tomorrow, I’ve got a group of people I can hang out with. It’s called being a friendly person, dating yourself and meeting other people.

Has anybody ever told you that you over-talk about yourself on a date? A lot of people go out on a first date, and all they ever do is talk about themselves.

They constantly talk about themselves on a date. They are constantly talking about work, and I have to tell you men that women don’t want to constantly hear about your work when they’re on a date with you.

Women don’t want to hear about your fantasy football league. They don’t want to hear about your past and your ex-girlfriends. They don’t want to hear how bruised you were by your last relationship. Actually both sexes don’t want to hear about that.

If you do this on dates, I want you to start seeing the purpose of a first date differently. I want you to redefine what a first date is really all about.

A first date is just a way to learn more information about each other. First dates are about sharing stories and being positive. They are not about obsessing about work and bragging about your accomplishments.

Bragging is the biggest turnoff in the world. I have heard so many women complain to me about men who brag about their work accomplishments on a first date.

Men will talk about how successful they are and about the kind of car they drive, when what women really want to know is where you are emotionally. When men brag women will wonder, “Are they that materialistic? Are they that into just themselves?”

So if you are someone who brags and talks about themselves constantly on a first date, you need to rethink your first date behavior. You need to start listening, and maybe even bring a recorder along on one of your dates.

Bring a little mini-recorder along and tape the conversation that takes place on your next first date, then send me the recording. I will break it down and I will tell you what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong.

If you are getting a lot of first dates but very few second dates, then it is time to really figure out how to get to the bottom of what is causing this and become more successful.