So now here I am on this beautiful Memorial Day weekend, layed out and miserable in about as much back pain as I can ever remember experiencing. I have so much pain in my right hip that I can’t put any pressure on my leg, so when I do get up and walk I end up looking like a cross between Cro-Magnum Man and one of the Sleezestack people from the new Land Of The Lost movie.

Anyway, laying here indoors on this beautiful holiday weekend has me thinking about summer and summer days. It’s the Saturday of Memorial Weekend, the unofficial beginning to Summer. It’s the weekend you get to glimpse all the great stuff you’re going to get to do all summer, and all the stuff you haven’t been able to do while you were suffering through that long Winter.

It also tends to make you think back on all the great summers you’ve had in your life, and all the great things you used to do that make Summer so much fun. I’ve talked about this before, but there are so many great things we all used to do on summer days.

People are always asking me about what makes for a great summer date. Do you know what the best summer dates are? You already do! Do something that you did when you were a kid.

I was thinking about some fun things I did as a kid. One of my favorites was that that we used to go in our backyard, pitch a tent and have a sleepover in the tent. Another favorite of mine was taking a pail and shovel to the beach and building sand castles.

Then there were the summer holiday festivities that were always so great. Watching 4th of July fireworks was always a highlight. Even better was bringing your own fireworks and setting them off with your friends.

Playing games with neighborhood kids — whether it was playing Ring, tag or a game of football – was always a blast. All the great barbecues where you’d have hot dogs and hamburgers off the grill was another of my favorite parts of every summer. Taking a great nighttime bike ride was always a great end to the day as well.

So now, on this Memorial Day weekend, why don’t you think about everything you used to enjoy doing in the summer as a kid. Think about how much fun summer was as a kid — running around, riding your bike and playing outside all day . . . until the streetlights came on signaling that it was time to come home.

Start thinking about all these great kid things you used to enjoy doing so much in the summer, and then start incorporating them into your adult life. Now that you’ve heard mine, why don’t you tell us some of your favorite summer memories.

What is your favorite summer memory as a kid?
What was your favorite thing to do in the summer as a kid?
What was your favorite summer time date when you were in high school?
What is your favorite high school date in the summer time or in college?

Let’s go back in time a little bit again, and let’s have some fun with Summer Days. It will hopefully help me take my mind off this pain I’m feeling today!

Enjoy the beginning of your Memorial Day weekend, and happy unofficial start of summer to you.

There’s something about holidays that bring out the worst in people. Now don’t read this and think I’m some sour, crusty old man who is a Grinch and who steals people’s pumpkins at Halloween. I need to let you know, however, that in terms of a social opportunity I think holidays are for amateurs.

Everybody gears up for three days out of the year: Halloween, New Year’s Eve and The 4th of July. The drunken women who are counting down “5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 …” are the same drunken women who are going “Woo Hoo!” when the fireworks go off on The 4th of July, and they are the same drunken women who dress up in the hooker outfits for Halloween to tease all the men (and who you will see throwing up in the corner into a big plastic pumpkin!)

Holidays are a blast: hanging out with friends, barbecuing, sucking down a few beers, getting corn stuck in your teeth, and eating some low-quality hamburger meat. But searching for and thinking that a magical party on The 4th of July is going to yield you the social results that have evaded you the rest of the year is a crock of shit! The 4th of July is just one day. The expectations on holidays never equal the results.

In order to create real fireworks in your life, you need to be working on your flirting skills every day. Even if you are at the coolest party on The 4th of July, you’re still bringing your lack of social skills with you. There’s no magic pill in order to meet the opposite sex, you have to work on those skills every single day.

For those of you that hooked up on The 4th of July – Congratulations! For the rest of you, you need to realize that you better start learning how to flirt and how to meet people every single day. Otherwise, come Halloween you’re going to be the one puking into that plastic pumpkin.